Due June 2022 (thread four)

[PeeAche]

Well, aren't we a chatty lot?

@vimto1991 a good weep is good for you. Let it all out. The hormones are something else, aren't they?

@Vimto1991

Anyone else get pain on their inner thighs? Reminiscent of period pain so I’m freaking out. 😩 I am legit constantly going to the loo to check I am so anxious.

@Vimto1991 yes I had period-like pains in the early stages and it still comes every now and again. I spoke to midwife about it and she said it's perfectly normal as your uterus expands. It's usually a sign that you need to take it easy :) If it lasts for a really long time or causes bleeds then def speak to your GP!

@RoseValleyRambles
I’m just worried about losing the baby in general, I get so anxious about something happening and fear I’ll ruin this all myself. After the car crash Sunday I said I was going to remain calm but starting to feel the stress from it all, now worried the stress and how overwhelmed I am will affect the baby, and have a deep urge to just cry. I can’t even concentrate at my work desk (WFH luckily!) I feel like I’m stuck in a vicious cycle of being worried about being worried at this stage, but know my hormones have been stronger this week as I’ve had morning sickness and tendency to want to cry more!

@ALHCTPS they really are, mine were bad before the pregnancy let alone now. 🙈 I have a meeting in half hour so going to try and bottle it in until the end of the day haha

@GabsK92 thank you!! I’ve not have much pain today, but it lasted for about four five hours last night which really spooked me and pushed me over my limit. Cried for awhile 🙈

[quote Vimto1991]@GabsK92 thank you!! I’ve not have much pain today, but it lasted for about four five hours last night which really spooked me and pushed me over my limit. Cried for awhile 🙈[/quote]
I really feel you, esp on the anxiety side too. I have GAD and the hormone spike combined with mental health struggles is a whole new kind of shit sandwich. It's totally overwhelming but try to remember to be on your own team. I felt so incredibly bad for not having the energy to exercise (everywhere tells you to exercise!!) and cried so much about being unhealthy, harming baby etc. But wow given how much your body is going through it's a wonder half of us can even get out of bed in the morning. You're a superwoman and you can do this xx

@GabsK92 thank you!! I too have GAD, my midwife said I need to watch out as it can be amplified by hormones and WOW I wasn’t expecting this much of a rollercoaster!! But thank you so much for your kind words - I hope you are doing well in your own pregnancy, too. :)

Good afternoon.
My scan today did not go well. Unfortunately the baby passed away 4 weeks ago. Thank you for all your good wishes. Best of luck to all you in this thread but I am signing off. Xx

I'm so sorry @Willow1981

Take care of yourself. I'm thinking of you at this difficult time.xxx

Oh @Willow1981 I'm so so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you, take care of yourself

Oh @Willow1981, I am so sorry sweetie. Thinking of you! Xxx

So so sorry Willow! Not tagging you in case you’d rather not see. You are in my thoughts…

@Vimto1991, @GabsK92 I have anxiety too, and stayed on Citalopram through my last pregnancy, which I’m doing this time too. I was also assigned to a team of midwives who had experience of mental health issues the first time, and they checked up on me at every appointment.
I found that the first trimester was by far the worst, so much so that I was worried I was developing prenatal depression last time. It improved significantly after 13-14 weeks or so. Even though I had a bleed at 14 weeks and became more anxious in a practical sense, it felt like a black cloud had lifted.
And my anxiety and crying did not affect the baby one bit, our daughter is a healthy, smiley, chilled out little one.
Hang in there, do not stress about stressing, and if it gets too much don’t be afraid for one second to talk to your midwife - that’s what they’re there for.

@EarlGreywithLemon thank you for your kind words!! I’m glad you have your little girl despite all the mental health challenges we have, this makes me more positive, need to keep remembering that we can do this despite our anxieties and try and not let it destroy my happiness!
P.s hope mine is also chilled like their DH, I ended up like my father who also suffers with mental health!!

Oh, and because of the bleed I was off any exercise in the second and third trimester as of the last pregnancy bar walking, swimming and gentle Pilates. Before that I’d been torturing myself running and doing weights classes through the nausea, so it was a relief in so many ways to stop.
I really wish I’d done the Pilates for my pelvic floor strength, but other than that, no harm done from taking it easy for the pregnancy. Do not beat yourself up. You can only do what you can do!

So sorry to hear willow. Hope you and your family take care and you have al the support you need right now ❤️

@Vimto1991 my mental health issues also run in my family, but my mother was always very open about it so I was in a good position to accept it and seek treatment myself. The way I see it is, even if my little ones do experience mental health issues, I’ll hopefully be well placed to spot the signs, understand and offer support, and encourage them to be open themselves. I think it’s the best gift we can give children - especially as so many of us experience some sort of mental health issue at some point in our lives. Take comfort that you’ll be a brilliant mother to your child no matter what!

So sorry willow, take care of yourself 💐 xx

So sorry willow what a horrible thing to go through. Wishing you lots of strength xxx

Gutted for you willow! Look after yourself!

So so sorry Willow, sending much love xxx

Willow I'm so so sorry

I'm due a call from the hospital today about whether or not I'm going ahead with the surgery and noones called, I don't even have a contact number. I'm so stressed I just want to be on this waiting list ASAP 😥 from my scan I saw the cyst has grown quite a lot in just 4 weeks. Feels like I'm living with a ticking time bomb inside me.

@EarlGreywithLemon @Vimto1991 being open about mental health struggles is such an important example to set our children. Those who won’t have at least a brush with mental health issues are few and far between, like those freaks who never catch a cold. The key is to know how to handle this stuff so it doesn’t get on top of you, which is where secrecy and silence is so insidious. I was so angry as a teenager when I learned there was a long history of this stuff in my family as no one talked about it. If they had, I would have sought help quicker and not got into such a mess. I hope to teach my children how to be responsible about their mental health and how to spot when something is wrong.

@Vimto1991 I understand this. You are not alone. Having lost my last pregnancy at 38 weeks I'm so conscious of my mental health... I definitely have some wobbles (this last week a bad one as I had a cold, was awaiting result of PCR test and convinced myself baby wasn't ok) but a few bits of advice I've been finding helpful:

Take one day at a time - let "today I am pregnant" be your mantra!

Don't think twice about seeing the mental health midwife, they get this stuff.

Meditation in the days before a scan. Celebrate after the scan (OH and I went for delicious pizza after our last one). Stop yourself from defaulting into worried mode when you've just had a good scan.

Trust your gut.

@vimto1991 great advice above. It's really hard not to worry about the odds. I am trying to take it trimester by trimester, and day by day: not thinking too far ahead but also reminding myself that it is more likely I will have this baby than not, even though that's all I really know.

I also know that if I did lose the baby, It would be truly awful, but that I would have the support around me to get through it, and that there would still be lots of good things to life. I think that helps, but perhaps it's just me (we were trying for a very long time so I'd done a lot of thinking about what a life without kids would look like).

But it is very scary not being in control, and you're not alone being scared that something you hope very much for may not happen.