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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Best excuses for not drinking

58 replies

fidget223 · 17/11/2021 16:02

Hi all,
I have very recently found out I'm pregnant (4 weeks) so we are not telling anyone at the moment. I'm really excited and after we've been trying for a quite a while, I want to sing it from the rooftops to be honest but know that's not sensible 😂.
We have a few family and other parties coming up (as well as Christmas!) and I just wondered what peoples best excuses have been for not drinking? It will be out of character for me not to have a drink so want to think ahead of what to say. I'm especially worried about a get together this weekend with DH's family: sister in law is VERY much the type to ask if I'm pregnant if I don't have a good excuse 🙄 thank you in advance ☺️

OP posts:
Original poster
fidget223 · 17/11/2021 16:53

@Juliecloud I'm not exactly known for my 'health and wellness' persona 😂 think they will definitely guess somethings up then haha!

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 17/11/2021 16:54

@fidget223

These are great thank you so much! I don't know if I'll be ready to say anything at Christmas as shouldnt I wait until 12 weeks? Sorry if that's not right, this is my first pregnancy and the last few days have been a bit overwhelming as in and out of doctors for various things!
There’s absolutely no right or wrong. It’s totally personal choice.
RobinPenguins · 17/11/2021 16:56

A friend of mine got an Invisalign brace which she said she had to wear 23 hours a day so didn’t want to drink anything apart from water as she’d have to take it out and clean it. Meant snacking was out too though.

I just pretended to be drinking, said I was driving or claimed hangover from the night before, but it wasn’t Christmas time so was easier to just avoid situations.

knackeredmumoftwo · 17/11/2021 16:57

They will guess :) so I think tell them - I never really understood the keeping it secret thing- when I miscarried at 8 weeks I was so glad of the support of my friend a and family and pleased I told them I was pregnant at 6 weeks (as they guess when I wasn't drinking)

Congratulations x

LittleMysSister · 17/11/2021 16:57

Pretending is your best bet for sure. Obviously depends on the context as to how easy it is to pull off though! Very easy in a bar/pub but not so easy in someone's home or round a restaurant table.

When my friend was pregnant, she had bar staff do her a lime and soda in a prosecco glass and drank that, nobody had a clue it wasn't prosecco. Could also have a coke/lemonade in one of the smaller glasses they use for rum and coke etc and just say it's that.

I'd pretend where I could, and drive everywhere else so I could use that as an excuse.

Strangevipers · 17/11/2021 16:58

Hungover

Detox

Designated driver

Out of money

Already drunk

LittleMysSister · 17/11/2021 16:59

@fidget223

These are great thank you so much! I don't know if I'll be ready to say anything at Christmas as shouldnt I wait until 12 weeks? Sorry if that's not right, this is my first pregnancy and the last few days have been a bit overwhelming as in and out of doctors for various things!
Totally depends on you, the 12 weeks thing is only because the first 12 weeks have a higher rate of loss than later on and also you don't have your first scan until then so that's your first confirmation everything is OK, so many choose not to tell until after their scan so they don't have to share any bad news if it happens. Which hopefully it won't :)
SleighBells21 · 17/11/2021 17:03

Entirely up to you when you tell.
We told close family straight away and close friends around 8 weeks.
Everyone else after 12 week scan.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 17/11/2021 17:06

@MeetMeAtOurSpot

Antibiotics for a uti that you can’t mix with alcohol. That usually stops people prying further, no one wants to hear about urinary problems! Congratulations Flowers
She wants to keep it quiet not signal it to all and sundry by using the code for I'm pregnant but it's too early to tell people yet GrinGrinGrin

Just take the drinks and then don't actually drink them, I'm sure you can manage to put them down, get your hasband to drink them, pour them away

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 17/11/2021 17:08

I just made sure they saw me with the open gin bottle in my hand, then topped up my ice filled glass with tonic. No-one had a clue!

BloodyAlarms · 17/11/2021 17:09

OP there is no wrong or right to telling people. I told people from the day I got my positive test, including my work...

goldfluffyclouds · 17/11/2021 17:13

At home - pretend that its a drink because you're doing the hosting...
For wine you need a hidden alcohol free bottle to fill your glass with!
Going out - be the designated driver - its your turn because last time you drank (with friends or family that the current company wouldn't mix with!)
Only use rarely - the antibiotic one,,,

RosiePosieDozy · 17/11/2021 17:13

Does your DH not want to tell his sister and other family now? We've always told each other in my family as soon as we knew ourselves.

If you've decided not to, I would definitely go with the pretend drink idea Grin

Talipesmum · 17/11/2021 17:34

I did pretend g and t with tonic only. And if it was all of us milling around with wine glasses, my h would just take mine and drink from it, we’d periodically swap glasses over the evening, and it looked like mine was going down when it wasn’t me drinking it.

Get your h to make your g&t as well. And lots of pretend drinking.

If you have one other person you feel that you can tell, it helps with the conspiracy.

MeltedButter · 17/11/2021 17:41

Last time you drunk you woke up naked with a lama covered in your vomit. Now when you smell any alcohol you gagg.

Strokethefurrywall · 17/11/2021 18:00

There is no "must not tell anyone until 12 weeks" rule - if you know, love and trust that your family will support you and comfort you if you do suffer an unfortunate loss, then feel free to tell them at Christmas and surprise them. And only if you want to of course!

Many people only wait until 12 weeks because that's when the first scans are offered on the NHS.

We told family and close friends straight away as we live overseas and wanted to share the good news.

Nobody else's feelings matter except yours (and your partner/husbands). Tell whenever you want to!

SquigglePigs · 17/11/2021 18:52

I'm very prone to migraines so I tended to say I'd had one the day before so was taking it easy. But that only works with the history I guess. Fake G&T works well too.

Also, congratulations OP!

AAkim · 17/11/2021 19:41

We told immediate family at 8/9 weeks following a private scan. If you have a healthy scan at that point the risk of miscarriage between then and 12 weeks is still very low. May be an option towards Christmas for your loved ones.
Congratulations!

Suzi888 · 17/11/2021 19:54

Congratulations!
I used the antibiotics excuse. No-one guessed.

PurpleDaisies · 17/11/2021 19:55

@Suzi888

Congratulations! I used the antibiotics excuse. No-one guessed.
It’s most likely your friends were just polite enough not to say anything.
wheresthehope · 17/11/2021 19:59

I’d just tell them to be honest. Just say it’s very early days but with the silly season coming up there is not much point hiding it

Suzi888 · 17/11/2021 20:20

@PurpleDaisies no they genuinely had no idea until I was five months pregnant. I hid it from everyone, employer, work colleagues. Believe me, they love gossip and would’ve just asked me outright! Perhaps if I was going out constantly partying then yes, but a one off? No. I didn’t have a bump at 12 weeks and was 40 so maybe that helped Grin

jolota · 17/11/2021 20:36

There's no 'rule' you have to wait until 12 weeks to tell people. It's entirely up to you, I told my immediate family straight away because I didn't want to have to worry about keeping it from them & felt I would be comfortable sharing with them if I'd had a miscarriage so it's worth thinking about how you'd feel if they knew in that situation and make a decision about whether you want to tell them yet or not.
For what it's worth I told people in general after 12 week scan but honestly I still felt anxious about the pregnancy until my 20 week anatomy scan because that felt just as pivotal to me.
In terms of hiding that you're not drinking I would definitely pretend to drink, most people won't watch you closely so if you have a glass in your hand you'll get away with it, especially if your partner helps you out as well.
If you're in a situation/of an age where people start expecting you'd be thinking of trying (people seem so interested & presumptuous sometimes lol) then they will assume you're pregnant if you tell them you're not drinking for any reason.

GinnyBee · 17/11/2021 20:52

Get non-alcoholic drinks and never be seen with an empty glass so no one tries to top you up or fetch another one for you! I live on a vineyard that my husband's family own, we all work here too, and in the summer frequently sit out in the garden with a bottle of wine or a pint of beer, and I managed to hide it from them for weeks! I'd appear with a pint of "cider" or a glass of "wine" from inside the house and no one was none the wiser.

At Christmas with so much commotion I think it should be easy enough to slip into the kitchen every now and again to top yourself up, and eventually everyone will be merry enough to stop noticing anything and by then you can just say you've had enough.

EmilyMay89 · 17/11/2021 22:12

I poured non alcoholic wine into an empty normal wine bottle. No one had a clue!

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