Am I crazy for wanting a natural child birth?

[Evianontoast]

Hi. I'm 31 weeks and starting to think about my birth plan with my
first baby. I've never really been one for taking any kind of drugs - I don't even take paracetamol (I also don't drink alcohol or caffeine, and haven't done for years, even before I was pregnant. Not really sure why, I just don't like the idea of it).

I really feel like I'd feel better going in to birth with a plan to not have any pain relief if I can help it. I understand that many people feel this way and end up with the pain relief in the end (thank goodness it's available if you need it). But whenever it comes up in conversation with anyone, I get the "just you wait!" attitude.

Am I being completely naive? I really think I can do it without it but maybe that's just first time mum naivety? Anyone else do it with no drugs? Do you regret it/ are you glad you did it?

Thanks in advance.

@Puffykins

I had two drug-free water births and they were both great. I mean, it hurt, but you forget that fast, and I got the most massive endorphin rush I have ever had. And I had taken MDMA/ ecstasy etc. In my younger years.

God me too. Couldn’t sleep all night as was buzzing with the biggest smile afterwards. Wanted another natural birth just to have that feeling again, nothing like it

I had three kids and did not want epidural because at that time (20 odd years ago) women had all kinds of scary stories about epidural gone bad. With my first I had Demerol and gas, with second only gas and with the third absolutely nothing. Did it hurt, yes, hurt as hell but it is doable.

I did not like Demerol at all as it made me feel sick. The gas helped take the edge of the pain but you still feel most of it. Like one poster said, women have been doing it without any pain relief for centuries. If this is what you want, go for it.

I think you are very naive, since by your own admission you have never had pain that has been severe enough to warrant significant pain relief, therefore you simply don't know how you will cope with it.

Some women choose elective CS or epidural in advance, but most just progress through appropriate pain relief as their labour progresses. For some this means they will have no pain relief and for others they will end up with everything including an epidural. But where they reach on the ladder of pain relief is not a reflection of their strength of character.

My DD had a 98 percentile head circumference. My cervix had to dilate and stretch a hell of a lot more than the average women's. It bloody hurt! I had entonox and morphine and would have had more morphine if they would have allowed me. Other women describe contractions no worse than period pains. You really have no way of knowing which you'll be until the day.

Don't get too wrapped up in the details of your birth plan or you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

so much has been said but not sure if the following point was made: if you need to be induced the pain will be much more intense, more relentless and will be out of proportion for how much you are dilated in comparison to a non-induced birth.
And so chances are that you will end up with an epidural - not because you are weak, have a low pain threshold or failed but because the strength of artificial hormones are better matched with artificial pain killers.
breathing techniques and soothing music will do fuck all when you've had 8 hours of absolute agony and you are still only 3 cm dilated.

obviously you could try paracetamol 🤷‍♀️

The injection is unnecessary- most people expel the placenta easily and you absolutely should be asked before it’s administered. It’s another case of things becoming routine even when the evidence doesn’t support this.

We were told it can prevent life-threatening hemorrhage. Are you sure there is no evidence? That said, I chose a natural 3rd stage with my second. No injection. I was in hospital though so felt confident they could stop a hemorrhage if it started.

My birth plan involved water birthing, gentle music, gas and air and deep breathing.
My reality involved a spinal block and forceps.

Meanwhile a friend swore from the off she wanted an epidural or a c-section and actually managed the whole thing in the birthing pool in under 3 hours.

It's a totally unique experience for every woman and every birth. Write your birth plan if you want, but be prepared for it to go out the window on the day. Keep an open mind.

Keep an open mind OP...

I also wanted and dealt with lots of the "just you wait" comments. If your birthday is straightforward you'll manage fine if its what you really want

I've had three children. I had no idea what to expect, didn't even try and predict how any of them would pan out and as such, didn't bother writing any form of birth plan.
My first baby was a horrendous three day labour that ended in an emergency csection.

I was just glad that we both came out of it alive and then booked my second and third/final baby as planned sections.

What will be, will be. You can imagine and hope what will happen but at the end of the day, nature will take its course and if you need any help or drugs-for goodness sake, take them.
Wishing you a safe delivery for you and your lovely baby.

I only had gas and air. That was brilliant!

I would recommend hiring a Tens machine for the early stages. It was good to use whilst at home

My labour was fairly quick. I was in hospital for about 4 hours before baby came

There wasn't really time for an epidural but id have wanted one if it went on for hours

Go for it!!! I don't think you're being naive at all!

I had gas and air and pethidine injection but let me tell you neither did nothing for me (felt no different after the injection and gas and air maybe did make a difference but I didn't use it too much) and honestly the pain wasn't all that bad!

We are made to do this and I think you'll smash it without pain relief I'm sure

If not start out with gas and air only and see how you get on and go from there! Don't get a epidural in my opinion, I'm so glad I didn't.

I find it so weird when people are like ‘I refused pain relief for 173682 hours’ why though? what’s the point? Why would you actually put yourself through pain when it’s not necessary. It doesn’t make you in some elite category or a better person because you refuse pain relief. You do you but I’m sure it will be a nicer experience for everyone including the baby if you are not in excruciating pain and a high stress environment.

@Avocadoseed

I find it so weird when people are like ‘I refused pain relief for 173682 hours’ why though? what’s the point? Why would you actually put yourself through pain when it’s not necessary. It doesn’t make you in some elite category or a better person because you refuse pain relief. You do you but I’m sure it will be a nicer experience for everyone including the baby if you are not in excruciating pain and a high stress environment.

Why? Because every pain relief available comes with risks to you and baby. Some of us are risk averse with high pain tolerance. Why should we accept the risks of pain relief when we don’t fucking need it?

It’s fine to have that in your birth plan but the reality is there are so many unexpected things that can happen, so you may need to consider what you would do in situations where the birth isn’t straight forward.

I wanted a natural birth with my first but ended up with an epidural and felt so guilty, like I had let my baby down. It turns out he was back to back which is why it was so slow and painful, and why I stopped dilating.

With my second I used the Positive Birthing Company, a cheap online hypnobirthing course, which helped massively and I got the natural birth I wanted. It gives tips on how to help the baby into the optimal position for birth (no lounging on the sofa like I did with my first!), loads of information about the different stages, breathing techniques, things your birthing partner can do to help etc and I found the Freya app that goes with it so helpful during the early stages. It helped me feel more in control and I was lucky that the birth was quick with no complications.

I think there is a lot you can do to help prepare your body and mind for the birth, it can only help. Just try to have an open mind so you don’t feel too bad if things don’t go as you would have liked.

Just an observation - why do birth stories get used for bragging rights or a way to putting others down?

First time mum here and one thing that is becoming increasingly clear is just how insufferably competitive every element of motherhood appears to be

@HopefulRose
While it is true that some women are competitive and brag about birth, I think most women view it as a rite of passage. So a woman who has never given birth just cannot comprehend what it is like to give birth? If that makes sense? Giving birth admits you to a circle within womanhood.

I had no pain relief on my last child, I could not have done it without my TENS machine. Definitely get one!

Not at all crazy. As others have said, just make sure you're prepared for any eventuality.

My own labour was an induced one, drip and all. I consider myself to have a high pain tolerance, and have felt extreme pain before. I went into the whole thing with a "wait and see" attitude. I had a preference to not have an epidural, but if I felt I needed one I would have one. Ideally only once all other pain relief options had been used. In the end I used everything up to, and including, opiates. Plus a 12 hour emotional affair (in full view of DH) with the gas and air mouthpiece. And that was just fine. Extremely happy with the way my labour went. Pregnant with number 2, and will be going into that labour with the same attitude.

OP I had a drug-free birth through choice. I had done research and I knew that having no intervention made it most likely th labour would be quick and safe etc. (Google childbirth cascade of medical intervention)

I used a water pool which made a HUGE difference to pain, it’s like having a hear back on all your muscles at once: if I lifted my lower back out of the water it hurt loads more.

It does hurt but it isn’t like being tortured, more like running a marathon. And your body does some natural pain relief. I couldn’t feel the baby kicking at all during labour even though I could see my stomach moving with her feet.

It’s great to plan for no intervention, but be ready to ask for it if needed. I handed my midwife a short note with the birth plan which included the statement that I dod not want to be offered pain relief but might ask for it.

Much depends on how big your baby is, how young/fit you are, and how relaxed you are able to be: a labour in a quiet dark room progresses much faster and safer than a labour in a noisy bright ward with constantly changing staff. It’s a bit like trying to have an orgasm or go to the loo in that the more people talk to you / irritate you etc the harder it is to finish…

Congratulations and good luck and remember if the labour doesn’t go well it will be over in a few hours and then you can get on with your new life…

If not start out with gas and air only and see how you get on and go from there! Don't get a epidural in my opinion, I'm so glad I didn't.

And after two days of back to back labour, I would have married the anesthesiologist if she'd asked.

[quote PlanDeRaccordement]@HopefulRose
While it is true that some women are competitive and brag about birth, I think most women view it as a rite of passage. So a woman who has never given birth just cannot comprehend what it is like to give birth? If that makes sense? Giving birth admits you to a circle within womanhood.[/quote]
What circle is that and why did I never get an invite?

Honestly... Unless your vagina in some way resembles a wizards sleeve meaning you can get your baby out in one neat push then you are going to want pain relief🤣 my epidural didn't work with my second, however gas and air did and it was amazing. My friend didn't have pain relief. She tore from front to back as baby came so quick. She quickly regretted that decision. I mean, there is no right or wrong. Your not less of a person if you use pain relief, it doesn't make you better if you don't use it. It's just what you feel is right for you

I've had three drug free births by choice including a back to back presentation.

It was important to me that I tried this. I did a lot of reading about how to increase my chances of having a natural birth including labour positions, pushing positions, breathing techniques. I did my best to position my birthing experiences to have the least amount of intervention, as less intervention may mean a greater chance of a natural birth, less harm to me and my baby. I stayed home as long as I could in my safe space to support the birthing process continuing calmly.

Labour, for me, wasn't painful all the time. I was pain free during breaks in contractions, walked a lot to encourage baby to move down.

I had a couple of stitches with the back to back presentation birth and no tearing at all with the other two births.

Parts of labour were painful but in my experience, the pain was manageable without drugs, had a purpose and told me what was going on with my own body. Transition was challenging but again, without an epidural I could feel the changes in contractions and my body's natural reactions and knew birth wasn't far away.

For me and my body, pregnancy and birth aren't medical processes but a natural process of birthing new life. I was showered and back in bed not long after birthing the placenta each time, virtually pain free apart from the contractions to shrink your uterus when your breastfeed. They were almost worse than the actual contractions in labour esp with baby number 3.

I know women can choose their own birthing experience for their own reasons; I don't judge others for their choices but I just wanted to share my positive natural birthing experiences.

I was the same, more anxious about any side effects from drugs than any pain I may experience.

I did a drug free birth and it was amazing, don't get me wrong, it hurts but it was totally manageable.

Just fully educate yourself on the stages of birth and exactly what to expect. You'll be fine

@MrsTerryPratchett

If not start out with gas and air only and see how you get on and go from there! Don't get a epidural in my opinion, I'm so glad I didn't.

And after two days of back to back labour, I would have married the anesthesiologist if she'd asked.

@MrsTerryPratchett

I offered to snog mine after the epidural was sited but I was still high on the G&A.
he politely declined