Am I crazy for wanting a natural child birth?

[Evianontoast]

Hi. I'm 31 weeks and starting to think about my birth plan with my
first baby. I've never really been one for taking any kind of drugs - I don't even take paracetamol (I also don't drink alcohol or caffeine, and haven't done for years, even before I was pregnant. Not really sure why, I just don't like the idea of it).

I really feel like I'd feel better going in to birth with a plan to not have any pain relief if I can help it. I understand that many people feel this way and end up with the pain relief in the end (thank goodness it's available if you need it). But whenever it comes up in conversation with anyone, I get the "just you wait!" attitude.

Am I being completely naive? I really think I can do it without it but maybe that's just first time mum naivety? Anyone else do it with no drugs? Do you regret it/ are you glad you did it?

Thanks in advance.

@KingofQueens

I do find the comparisons to surgery etc a bit disingenuous. Going under the knife isn't a "natural" procedure, the pain is different because it is coming from without us - same as injury pain or illness pain - they all come from something which isn't "suppised" to happen. Birth is natural, our bodies produce endorphins and other hormones/chemicals to help us with the process., My body wasn't supposed to be cut with a scalpel, but it was supposed to give birth - it's a very different pain.

I didn't think it was a different pain. It was similar to other severe abdominal pain I had.

@doyouwantachuffedybadge

Those saying why would you want the injection for the placenta - I wasnt given any choice - are youmeant to have a choice?! I asked for my placenta the day after and they said it had already been incinerated, despite me putting it in the birth plan that I wanted it. I was on so many drugs I didnt think about the placenta until the day after. Are they meant to ask your permission to give you the injection to encourage it out?

The injection is unnecessary- most people expel the placenta easily and you absolutely should be asked before it’s administered. It’s another case of things becoming routine even when the evidence doesn’t support this.

DS1 I took 2 paracetamol, but threw them up pretty promptly. Midwife didnt believe I was in established labour when we got to hospital, so we went from admitted to baby in less than 30 mins, with no further drugs. I demanded gas and air (and they also did local aesthetic) when they started stitching.
DS2 was so quick I didnt take anything, and he was delivered by a paramedic who had arrived 30 seconds earlier. He was truly a drug free birth.

I had two drug-free water births and they were both great. I mean, it hurt, but you forget that fast, and I got the most massive endorphin rush I have ever had. And I had taken MDMA/ ecstasy etc. In my younger years.

Whatiswrongwithmyknee

Yes, I don't really get endorphins - I don't get them after exercise for example. And definitely didn't get them during or after birth.

Go for it. My birth plan was written like "plan for no pain relief, if I feel I need it then gas and air. If I feel I need it, then x, if I feel I need it then y, then z". So very much a "as little intervention/drugs as possible, as much as is necessary" approach. I had gas and air with both. But like has been mentioned above, try not to set yourself up to feel like you have failed, you just never know what you will need with childbirth.

The best thing you can do is not invest mentally in one idea of how it will be. Instead, think though lots of potential paths and get to feel ok with as many of them as possible. It can be a humbling experience.

As others have said , be open minded. Lots of women manage it so it is possible. But it might not be and you don't want to end up feeling like you failed - I speak from experience having struggled to come to terms with a csection for my first.

Equally, don't brag if you do manage it. I still hate every single person who puts a picture up on Facebook about their 2 paracetamol births and it still makes me feel a bit rubbish that I didn't 'suceed'.

Am I being completely naive? I really think I can do it without it

That seems to assume all births are the same when they are wildly different. I can guarantee you couldn't have done my DD's birth without pain relief.

That was the birth that was supposed to be a home water birth.

I had gas and air and paracetamol for both of my births until second stage when I found I just wanted to put everything into pushing and the gas and air was a distraction. My view beforehand was that I'd like to manage without opioids or epidural if I could , but I ruled nothing out. The only slightly jarring moment was when a midwife covering my Midwifes break advised me to take Pethidine - I think she felt I was making too much noise - I was far from needing it. I don't understand why anyone would choose no medication on principle, but Im a pragmatic person. Just to warn you that some women have more difficult births than others - easy birthers are lucky not special.

@RacketeerRalph

Whatiswrongwithmyknee

Yes, I don't really get endorphins - I don't get them after exercise for example. And definitely didn't get them during or after birth.

I do actually know what they feel like as a few years ago I ran a couple of half marathons. Every now and then (maybe 5 times in total and only after a seriously long run), I'd get a buzz of nice feeling in my shoulders and going down. So I do know what they feel like. My body is not incapable of making them. Just holds out for a very, very long time to do so. There is scientific proof of high and low responders I believe. People who enjoy exercise are getting a buzz out of it that the rest of us aren't. It's not too hard to believe that could also be relevant in childbirth.

easy birthers are lucky not special.

Yes.

Whatiswrongwithmyknee interesting. I don't respond 'as expected' to chemical endorphin producers either (e.g ecstacy did nothing for me! Neither does weed). I must be a low responder.

Are you doing any yoga? Or can you google yoga breathing?

I had an accidental natural birth as apparently too late/short 6 hour labour and yoga breathing saved me and gave me something to hang on to through the contractions.

Go with an open mind and a plan of how to cope with the pain

@MrsTerryPratchett

Am I being completely naive? I really think I can do it without it

That seems to assume all births are the same when they are wildly different. I can guarantee you couldn't have done my DD's birth without pain relief.

That was the birth that was supposed to be a home water birth.

quite

the one with the screaming during transition that I wanted a C-section because I suddenly DID NOT have any pain was the only one I needed no stitches.
I'm glad DH & MW snapped me out of that quite scary episode of temporarily losing my mind.

I did my second and third with nothing (not by choice though), but they were much quicker labour's than my first, but then my first was 36 houroubour and I didn't actually get an epidural until 35 hours in. Even then it only partially worked, so almost 3 with nothing 🤣

@Evianontoast

Hi. I'm 31 weeks and starting to think about my birth plan with my first baby. I've never really been one for taking any kind of drugs - I don't even take paracetamol (I also don't drink alcohol or caffeine, and haven't done for years, even before I was pregnant. Not really sure why, I just don't like the idea of it).

I really feel like I'd feel better going in to birth with a plan to not have any pain relief if I can help it. I understand that many people feel this way and end up with the pain relief in the end (thank goodness it's available if you need it). But whenever it comes up in conversation with anyone, I get the "just you wait!" attitude.

Am I being completely naive? I really think I can do it without it but maybe that's just first time mum naivety? Anyone else do it with no drugs? Do you regret it/ are you glad you did it?

Thanks in advance.

I had no pain relief with my DD - not even paracetamol. That's purely because I panic about taking new medicines and I was lucky enough to have a straight forward birth. You have to do you. Good luck x

I think birth plans should be renamed birth wishes because sometimes things don't go to plan and frankly that can make you feel pretty rubbish. Neither of my births went to plan - the first I was induced and had no pain relief whatsoever (I did ask though), it was not a good experience the induction meant my contractions didn't follow the typical gradually increasing pattern and instead were extremley painful from the very first with no breaks between each one HOWEVER I survived and once the baby was there it truly didn't seem to matter so much. And so when I was writing my birth plan for the next baby I thought I would have a home birth with no pain relief - after all I'd already done it once with an induction. I ended up being blue lighted to hospital for an emergency c-section after a routine midwife appointment and I felt awful about that for a very, very long time. So - if you feel like you want to try and have an unmedicated birth then you can put that down, but just keep an open mind and don't hold yourself to anything the most important thing is that you and baby are safe and healthy at the end of the day and it doesn't really matter how you get there in the end.

And to answer your final question. Yes, I regret a drug free natural birth massively - it left me with PTSD.

I’m a pretty healthy, relatively young mum - no problems at all through my pregnancy (3yrs ago)
Thought I’d sail through labour as I have a high pain threshold and no health problems.
After 4 days of labour, gas and air was an absolute godsend (had tens at home), eventually had an epidural (totally unplanned) which was probably the best moment of my life.
Honestly - have a vague idea of what you’d like but be prepared for plans to change as every single labour is different.
Drugs or not, it doesn’t make the birth of your child any less incredible! I treasure my 4-day labour, epidural and EMCS as much as I would a drug-free, super natural water birth!

I felt like you did before having my first, opted for a water birth at a birth centre. I would say I have a high threshold to pain but labour was a lot more painful then I expected. Ended up with a long slow labour, blue lighted to hospital and son delivered with forceps. I think a lot of first births don't go to plan so just worth remembering that. I'm pregnant with number 2 and on the fence about attempting another water birth or just going for the epidural! I think it will all depend on how quick this labour is. Keep an open mind, just because you have a decent pain threshold it doesn't mean you won't find labour painful. If I could go back I would totally change my outlook before having my son.

I went in with the mindset of 'if I need it I'm having it'. I wasn't against anything, I was more cautious over an epidural just because I wanted to leave the same day and not have to stay over night(this was due to covid and not having my partner with me I was feeling overwhelmed as a first time mum being left alone).

When I did give birth in August I actually only had gas and air as that's all I felt I needed. But I would of taken anything if I felt it was getting too much. Only time I regretted not having more pain relief was when baby's head was nearly out and the ring of fire hit 😂 but afterwards I was happy with my decision of just gas and air. Good luck!

I had a pain free birth with hypnobirthing. It was totally fine although I would of taken drugs if I had of been in pain. I didn’t want to be “out of it” in any way. My second baby I had gas and air as I wasn’t so relaxed and had to travel by ambulance 30 miles on my back which wasn’t a position I found comfortable especially on very steep hilly bumpy roads.

I’m like you - very very rarely take any medication and never have paracetamol etc in the house. I don’t even have anaesthetic at the dentist. I was adamant I would have a drug free birth. I refused to have the gas and air. I do have a high pain threshold, but it was the 26 hour labour that got me. I ran out of energy and (I believe) risked my baby’s and my own health. I ended up with a high cavity forceps delivery and needed a surgical repair months later. That meant six weeks that I couldn’t lift my baby out of her cot, pick her up to put her in her pram, or properly play with her. I feel so stupid looking back.

It was such a traumatic experience that I dreaded my second birth. I insisted I would have an epidural —and anything else on offer—. As it happened, I had a 20 minute labour with hardly time to get my knickers off never mind get any drugs! I was actually laughing as she was born as it was such a bizarre and happy experience.

I’d say keep your options open. You have no idea how your labour will work out.

@jeannie46

2 no pain relief 2 epidurals

Epidural EVERY TIME.

( Or would you have your appendix out / your open heart surgery / your leg off without pain relief??)

It’s Nothing like those things and believe me I know because I’ve had a vaginal birth and my appendix out. Giving birth is a positive pain. With the vast majority of women nothing is wrong, the body is doing what it’s done for century’s. It’s people like you comparing it to horrible surgeries to remove organs or cut off limbs that has and still is making women so frightened. Fear and stress will actually hinder birth. Look back into the history of medicalising birth. All done by men to make it easiest for men working in hospitals. There are some counties where most women’s labours are totally in medicalised. Birth is not feared. Of course medical intervention is needed in some cases because not every birth goes smoothly for a variety of reasons. But these are the minority. Or they should be in the minority.