Am I crazy for wanting a natural child birth?

[Evianontoast]

Hi. I'm 31 weeks and starting to think about my birth plan with my
first baby. I've never really been one for taking any kind of drugs - I don't even take paracetamol (I also don't drink alcohol or caffeine, and haven't done for years, even before I was pregnant. Not really sure why, I just don't like the idea of it).

I really feel like I'd feel better going in to birth with a plan to not have any pain relief if I can help it. I understand that many people feel this way and end up with the pain relief in the end (thank goodness it's available if you need it). But whenever it comes up in conversation with anyone, I get the "just you wait!" attitude.

Am I being completely naive? I really think I can do it without it but maybe that's just first time mum naivety? Anyone else do it with no drugs? Do you regret it/ are you glad you did it?

Thanks in advance.

Just to say that out of my NCT group of 10 mums, all said they wanted natural births, some water. / home etc and every single one had something unexpected happen, ranging from drugs, epidural and EMCS. No-one ended up with a planned birth. A tiny fraction of women get the birth they plan / hope for, so as long as you are prepared then that's what matters.

I am like you OP, I don't take any medication if I can help it and have been lucky not to need anything much over my life.

I was keen to have a drug free birth but in reality you can't plan for those things and I really think writing a birth plan is a waste of time, as so many other posters have pointed out - you can't plan birth and have to deal with it when it happens.

As it goes I've had three babies with gas and air and nothing else. So not totally drug free but pretty much the minimum. HOWEVER I have really quick births, my first I was 10cm before I even got to the hospital, my second lasted about an hour start to finish and with my third I was 4cm dilated and she was born literally five minutes later. My second was fine actually, but I couldn't have done the other two if they lasted any longer, and I would have taken anything offered with my third (back to back, induction, it was awful) but there was no time.

These women who have 24 hour labours, or longer, have had a totally different experiences to me. If the pain I had with my third had lasted even several hours I would have taken all the drugs.

Wait and see and have an open mind. Nobody gives you a medal for having a drug free birth and it isn't 'better'. I was totally traumatised by my first labour.

I agree that it is best to be open to a change of plan.

Every woman is different, every birth is different.

My approach was fine for me: didn’t want or need drug/based assistance for one birth, then did after ventouse was needed after a long back to back labour.

Drug free pain relief does work for some, some need to change tack.

Surely every woman makes the choice they need to in the moment.

It isn’t a ‘lie’ for everyone.

Not every birth involves the complications that precipitate a request for max available relief.

Not sure there is need for so much derision of women who took a different approach from the outset. That generally means trying drug free methods first, rather than ‘I would like pain relief at the first opportunity’.

@Finknottlesnewt

I never understand this. Why would you do anything medical with a choice of lots of pain or less pain - and choose the former ?

You do know that no one comes around to the post natal ward with OBE's for services to pain relieve free childbirth. ?

Maybe just accept that everyone is different. I didn’t do it for a medal or bragging rights or anything like that. I did it because I wanted to feel in control, to be able to move around freely, to not feel ‘out of it’ after the birth.

And I wanted to see how it felt- see what my body could handle. If you think that’s strange, just consider how many people fight for a place in the London Marathon. I don’t think running 26 miles sounds remotely fun. It is probably very painful and difficult. But millions of people choose to do it every year. I don’t understand why, but I accept that they get something out of it. Because they’re not the same as me.

You don’t have to understand why women would avoid drugs in labour, but you don’t have to sneer about it either, just as I will not sneer at or judge women who take every drug offered or opt for ELCS.

You do know that no one comes around to the post natal ward with OBE's for services to pain relieve free childbirth. ?

Yes but it wasn’t for that it was for me. And I did feel pretty good in a way that felt different to my two other births. A kind of high.

You don’t have to understand why women would avoid drugs in labour, but you don’t have to sneer about it either,

I agree

Agree with others - just have an open mind.

My first, i thought I'd be asking for an epidural straight away!! I did have pethadine but that was due to back to back labour lasting 3 days due to waters completely gone, so i needed a rest!! The other pain relief i had was the water in the pool. If my labour hadn't been spread over days i probably wouldn't have had the pethadine. Did request an epidural during transition but stayed in the pool so never had it 😂 Didn't find gas and air did anything so stopped using it.

Second baby was a homebirth with just water as pain relief. Had pethadine in fridge as backup but not needed. Bloody painful but never felt i needed an epidural.

I think water is an amazing pain reliever!!! I got out of it at one point and MY GOD the contractions felt 1000 times worse!! Hopped straight back into the water 😂😂

[quote PlanDeRaccordement]@EarlGreywithLemon

It’s not really a function of time. The endorphins are produced during the second stage of labour, or the pushing phase. If you had gotten to 10cm dilated/pushing stage, they would not have given you an epidural as it would be too late. Ergo, you chose epidural instead of endorphins. Which is fine and safe and all good. I am simply posting because childbirth endorphins really exist, they are not “mythical”.[/quote]
I neeed pain relief for the horrific 24 hours that preceded the pushing stage. Getting them in the last hour would have been way way way too late and frankly not much use.
Again - I’m not saying everyone is in that level of pain - I’m saying if you are, why be a martyr? My baby was born perfectly alert and healthy and latched straight away - it didn’t affect her even a bit. The only side effect I had from the epidural was a shaky leg when it was on. Gone straight after. I was walking around a few hours later. The fact that my daughter was born to a happy, relaxed mother rather than a traumatised wreck also helped us both hugely. It also means I look at her birth as a happy experience and I was able to enjoy her as soon as she was handed over to me.

As a disclaimer, I didn’t have pain relief. Not gas and air, not paracetamol, nothing. No tens.

All I wanted was an epidural. But they couldn’t get it in the right place. Then things picked up & it was too late.

I always feel jealous when I hear about people talking about how amazing their epidurals were - I was in so much pain I don’t remember a thing, which I find sad.

If I were you I wouldn't set yourself any 'restrictions' as soon as you say I don't want pain relief you've caused yourself a mental headache. Be open. Nothing was off limits for me and I would have accepted anything but in reality I actually just had gas and air.

Why would anyone not want the injection for the placenta?! Just why?!

I don't get why you would want it, unless you're bleeding a lot or it's not coming out. Only ever had to wait about 15 mins for mine to come out and after a fat headed baby the placenta doesn't hurt at all. I hate needles.

@BertieBotts

Why would anyone not want the injection for the placenta?! Just why?!

I don't get why you would want it, unless you're bleeding a lot or it's not coming out. Only ever had to wait about 15 mins for mine to come out and after a fat headed baby the placenta doesn't hurt at all. I hate needles.

Because then it means you have to push it out yourself with extra pain & effort? And there are no benefits to not having it? And it reduces chance of pph according to PP?

‘Pushing’ out my placenta was no effort at all. It pretty much fell out 😆

Oooo it’s like you haven’t seen call the midwife!

Did anyone else see the episode with the pregnant teen whose mum was going to deliver the baby & pass it off as her own?

Then the placenta didn’t come so she pulled the cord & accidentally pulled her womb out 😱

@waterlego

‘Pushing’ out my placenta was no effort at all. It pretty much fell out 😆

Me too. Had babies. Cut cord. Held them. Then stood up and placenta slithered out and plopped on the floor like a giant period blood clot. No contraction. No pain. No pushing.

it’s like you haven’t seen call the midwife!

I haven’t 😆 I don’t think I’d have consented to anyone pulling my cord though!

I had two completely drug free, natural births. I'm not gonna lie, it was painful... But I was adamant that there be nothing in my bloodstream that might make me feel drowsy or out of control at any stage.

Of course, that's not to say I wouldn't have requested them if I'd really needed some. It was painful but manageable.

However, as a result I was able to go home 2 hours after each birth. I cannot stand hospitals so this was a massive bonus!

You can decide at the time. Just don’t set yourself up for failure like PPs have said. I wrote something in my birth plan for my first labour like ‘I would like to see how I cope with the pain before using pain relief but I’m open to using any and all pain relief options available.’

As it happened, I absolutely needed pain relief - I’ve never, ever felt pain like it, if you’d said that if I agreed to have my arm cut off then the pain would stop I would probably have agreed - but the whole labour progressed too quickly for me to have anything other than gas and air, which didn’t work for me (it does nothing for some people). So I had a drug-free birth (although G&A is a drug so technically not) but I’d definitely rather not have done.

You just don’t know what hand you’re going to be dealt.

I know every birth is different and every person has a different pain threshold but in my experience I would absolutely plan to have pain relief.

Without meaning to scare you, I would have let them chop my legs off if it would have stopped the pain. The pain was unbearable. So much so that I (luckily) had an emergency c section and with my second baby I booked straight in for one because no way in hell would I go through that pain again.

Having said that, I have a couple of friends who absolutely smashed it with no pain relief. One had 3 babies without any. She said it wasn't that bad. You hear different stories all the time so maybe wait and see how it progresses, but personally I wouldn't plan to have no pain relief

I always feel jealous when I hear about people talking about how amazing their epidurals were - I was in so much pain I don’t remember a thing, which I find sad.

I feel the same. Also, what I wouldn’t have given to have an epidural in while they were stitching me up instead of that shitty injectable local anaesthetic.

You honestly cannot plan for what you may need, however you can make sure all your options around pain relief.

Sorry should have said, make sure you research all your pain relief options!

Yes crazy, it hurts like hell. It's not a headache, it pushing a melon out your vag. I've done it without pain meds and after that my DS was nearly an only child. Second time was lovely with an epidural, although I still felt the burning of crowning and the pressure of all the contractions.

I had the same plan but whether it is achievable or the best thing depends on so much. I have quite a high pain threshold but with a 24 hour, back to back labour the chance to just have a break from the relentlessness of it would have been amazing.

As it was I didn't end up with pain relief (several reasons, I did ask) and got through it but they weren't handing out medals and I'm sure it could have been made easier physically.

Leave some scope to change your mind, no one knows how their body will cope or the birth will go.

Most drugs have possible side effects ranging from wooziness to vomiting to more serious things, so if you don't need them then don't have them but equally they're a godsend if you need them.

I was projectile vomiting before the drugs so that was fun.

And all the 'it's natural' 'you can do it' people, great for you. But humans are very poorly set up for birth. Walking on two legs and having a very large head means birth is a compromise in a way it isn't for other mammals. Basically in evolutionary terms it's a trade off between those advantages and the disadvantage of death in childbirth, which is common in countries without accessibility for women for healthcare.

It's not just the medicalisation of birth, it was always dangerous for women, and still is in many places.