Am I crazy for wanting a natural child birth?

[Evianontoast]

Hi. I'm 31 weeks and starting to think about my birth plan with my
first baby. I've never really been one for taking any kind of drugs - I don't even take paracetamol (I also don't drink alcohol or caffeine, and haven't done for years, even before I was pregnant. Not really sure why, I just don't like the idea of it).

I really feel like I'd feel better going in to birth with a plan to not have any pain relief if I can help it. I understand that many people feel this way and end up with the pain relief in the end (thank goodness it's available if you need it). But whenever it comes up in conversation with anyone, I get the "just you wait!" attitude.

Am I being completely naive? I really think I can do it without it but maybe that's just first time mum naivety? Anyone else do it with no drugs? Do you regret it/ are you glad you did it?

Thanks in advance.

Just keep an open mind.

It's not naive to hope for a straightforward birth, it is naive to 'really think you can do it', when you have no idea what kind of birth you will have.

Don't put it in your birth plan that you don't want pain relief because if you change your mind at the time they will most likely hold you to that and refuse you

I don’t think that is common. I imagine midwives are aware that birth plans can easily go out the window. Holding you to it would be ridiculous.

Go into it with an open mind! Make sure you know what pain relief options there are so you know what's available and when to ask.
Also I wouldn't focus on unmedicated, if you needed medication would you see it as a failure?
Some people go into births feeling like they've failed if they hated the birthing pool when they planned a water birth etc and it really affects them negatively afterwards!

If you don't take paracetamol etc it shows that you might have very limited experience of pain and labour might take you off guard!

Women's bodies are amazing growing and birthing humans and it's called labour for a reason! If you need drugs, you need drugs!

It’s perfectly possible to opt for a drug free birth with your first child, I did with mine.

I was very young (in my teens) and had so, so many people scoff and be dismissive of my plan. I was induced and constantly offered pethidene and an epidural throughout my labour as I was reminded, often, that induction in longer and more painful.

I used breathing and meditation, was in labour for 6 hours and delivered a healthy 7lb 2oz baby with 20 minutes pushing. I also laboured with no birth partner so had to advocate for myself the whole way through.

I did however have a local anaesthetic to stitch my grade 2 tear.

Juju Sundin's birth skills is good - lots of techniques for dealing with labour without medications but also recognising that medical intervention may be necessary and can still be part of a positive birth story. I would make sure that your birth plan encompasses not just your ideal scenario but what you might want if things go differently - I ended up with an EMCS and wish I had put in my birth plan a request for things like immediate skin to skin (if possible) after a c section.

@SickAndTiredAgain

Don't put it in your birth plan that you don't want pain relief because if you change your mind at the time they will most likely hold you to that and refuse you

I don’t think that is common. I imagine midwives are aware that birth plans can easily go out the window. Holding you to it would be ridiculous.

I was held to it. I was begging for pain relief for an hour before I lost all ability to speak. They mentioned to me after if I was glad I done it with no relief and my answer was no, I was being serious, I needed help and they didn't give it and it was incredibly traumatic for me. I hope it's not normal but in my experience the midwifes do what they want. First baby @ 18yr and the midwife pumped me full of diamorphine so I was out of it, second was an emergency with genuinely no time for anything and 3rd they didn't listen to me so for this one I'm just going with whatever happens at the time

There's some really useful Instagram pages that might be able to walk you through. Try "painfreebirth" to start.

It's really uncommon in lots of cultures around the world to take pain medication during labour and birth, so you're not crazy for wanting it for yourself.

I mean, nobody who'd had to have major surgery would say something so silly and dismissive. It does make you sound naive and judgemental.

Projecting much? Why on earth is it silly or judgemental that OP doesn't take drugs?! Do you want a medal because you do? People have different thresholds for pain, no need to make them feel guilty about it

You're not crazy.

I've had 3 DC and the only pain relief I had between them was the epidural for the c section I had with ds1.

I have a similar attitude to pain relief and those who think it's because I have "no experience of extreme pain" can go f themselves.

I would definitely say that the birth of DS3 hurt. He was stuck on the top of my pelvis and then had shoulder dystocia too. I was offered gas and air but it can make some people sick - I've never had it and puking would have only made me feel worse - I didn't think it was a good time to experiment.

You know yourself how you feel about painkillers. AND you can change your mind during labour if you want to.

It really fucking hurts.

Did you consider that 'just you wait!' is actually 'I had thay plan too and realised that what you plan and what actually happens often bear no relation to each other'.

If labour is difficult, long, back to back.... prepare yourself for the fact that you might need intervention. Not being a doom monger but a little mental prep for any eventuality goes a long way.

I was sold on a natural birth, no pain relief, etc. Ended up with the most medicated birth going because that's what my baby needed to be born safely. Not 'just you wait', more 'be aware of the possible needs thay may arise'.

Good luck.

I wanted a drug free birth too thinking I would be fine, I wasn't.
All I'll say is don't obsess over it, be open minded.

Definitely second all the PP’s saying to have an open mind. For some reason I didn’t really consider pain relief when thinking about labour - I just knew what type of birth experience I was aiming to have. I also did a lot of hypnobirthing and reading during pregnancy, and truly believed by the time I was full term that labour doesn’t have to be excruciating pain and lots of intervention. (Of course it ends up like that for some, but I was sick of being told that was basically a given for every single birth and to expect it). I despise all the “just you wait”/“worst pain you can imagine” crap that’s thrown at you whilst you’re pregnant.

I had my first baby in July - at home, 9lbs6oz and no pain relief, not even paracetamol. And against the advice of a PP I do want to shout it from the rooftops because I feel bloody proud of what my mind and body achieved.

And should every single woman who births a baby, no matter how the labour unfolds.

Good luck OP, wishing you a positive and safe birth.

@ScotsMumOf4 sorry, I didn’t mean that I didn’t believe you, that sounds horrendous.

My four childbirths were drug free homebirths.
Unlike others, I think you having a history of not needing drugs points to a high pain tolerance, not a privileged life per se. I’ve met many people with low pain tolerance and others with high pain tolerance. We are all different. But a high pain tolerance is a positive thing to have if you want a drug free childbirth.

You’re not being naive and many women enjoy saying “Oh first time mum, how precious, just you wait” Just take with a grain of salt. You’ll get it constantly.

I won’t lie, childbirth hurts like hell. So research drug free pain relief like using a shower or tub with warm water during labour. Different birth positions can alleviate pain. Some women use breathing techniques. Some found having a playlist with music helps. Research all of this. Going drug free requires preparation.

My 1st dc was unmedicated, but not by choice he was Prem and a quick labour in a foreign country, I begged for every drug I knew and they wouldn't give me anything, but I got though it and once born the pain was a distant memory. 2nd again very quick labour 3 hrs in total and used gas and air which did f all, mostly used to bite down on. tired the pool but didn't like it.

Think the best opinion is go with an open mind try and see how u get on. A very quick labour and you may not have time for certain drugs a long labour you may have time and may just need something so you can get some rest.

We are all different with how we cope with pain and childbirth, so go with an open mind but an idea of a preference of how you would want pain management to happen, like a water birth, use of tens machine, medications.
Try and not a plan as it can lead to disappointment or feelings of failure. Same as only wanting a virginal birth for example this just may not happen

Gas and air is lovely....and you can still get up and walk afterwards. Used it twice highly recommended (had used it before though).

Totally depends on how your birth goes. I had two drug free births but both were less than 12 hours so not that bad. If it had gone on longer I’d have wanted the option of drugs.

It is entirely up to you when it comes down to it. I don't think you can ever really know how you will cope with that level of pain until you are in that level of pain. You may cope, you may decide you want pain relief. Either way is fine. I would remain open to the idea of pain relief and do lots of research on ways to manage pain without them, like hypnobirthing etc.

There are no guarantees about how it's going to go or what you may need
on the day, it is important to remember that all types of birth are valid.

Natural birth doesn't necessarily come naturally. You need to put a lot of work and preparation into it. You need the right hospital / birth centre, a hypnobirthing or similar course and a supportive midwife and birth partner. Pregnancy yoga, reading up on natural birth (Milli Hill's books are supposed to be good), making sure you stay fit and take advantage of all antenatal checks and healthcare available.

Your hospital plays a big part in what kind of birth you have - my local hospital was very interventionist in culture but did have a separate birth centre run by midwives.

You also need to understand that with the best prep in the world, intervention can still be required and there won't be anything to change that - you could have a breech or back to back baby, you could haemorrhage (like I did with #1), you could go into labour on the shift of a midwife who doesn't like to leave things to nature. You may change your mind with the first contraction.

So basically plan for what you want but be prepared for it to change radically.

By the way I have the pain threshold of a hypersensitive chihuahua and I had a 9lb 5oz baby with no drugs because he came so fast I didn't have a choice.

I’d say just be open minded. I had my plan all worked out, also don’t drink, no caffeine, no pain meds etc., did hypnobirthing, pregnancy yoga, had a doula, planned no pain relief, no inductions, no unnecessary vaginal checks, no chatting in the birthing suite (you get the idea!) I ended up having to be induced at 38 weeks due to repeated episodes of no movements (she was absolutely fine though) so they just wanted to get her out. Induction was full on, was doing fine for about 2 days of contractions and then had waters broken and all bets were off.. It ramped up so fast i just couldn’t take it, being sick from pain as was so bad. f I had an epidural within a few hours and still feel overwhelming love and gratitude to the anaesthetist..! Things sometimes didn’t go to plan..

id also def request an epidural straight away next time..!

In a word, yes.

It hurts.

going drug free requires preparation

or you just need a baby that shoots out of you like a canon roughly 15 mins after you were told you were only 6cm dilated and they will get you the pethidine shortly.
3 pushes, 9lb 6oz.
MW came back with a pethidine, I told her "too late!" 🤣

Would you have a tooth pulled out without anaesthetic?

I think you need to have a very open mind.

You have no idea how you’re going to feel.

I thought the same as you but 67 hours of back to back labour later I was begging for an epidural. And that’s fine. It really doesn’t matter in the end. Whatever makes you feel okay and able to cope is all that matters.

In a word - yes. I'm really not sure why it's something to aspire to!