Am I crazy for wanting a natural child birth?

[Evianontoast]

Hi. I'm 31 weeks and starting to think about my birth plan with my
first baby. I've never really been one for taking any kind of drugs - I don't even take paracetamol (I also don't drink alcohol or caffeine, and haven't done for years, even before I was pregnant. Not really sure why, I just don't like the idea of it).

I really feel like I'd feel better going in to birth with a plan to not have any pain relief if I can help it. I understand that many people feel this way and end up with the pain relief in the end (thank goodness it's available if you need it). But whenever it comes up in conversation with anyone, I get the "just you wait!" attitude.

Am I being completely naive? I really think I can do it without it but maybe that's just first time mum naivety? Anyone else do it with no drugs? Do you regret it/ are you glad you did it?

Thanks in advance.

Do what you feel comfortable with, you sound like you've got an idea of how it works - go in with an open mind and see how you go.
Whatever you do, don't ever 'brag' about it. No matter how anyone gives birth, it is not something to show off about.

Not meaning that I think you will brag about it, but I've met women who do brag and it is such a revolting attitude and never wins anyone over.

I had a drug free birth, not really by plan. I intended to ask for gas and air and then progress from there but never really felt the need. It was more pressure than pain. I was in the water for the most part then had to get out so they could keep an eye on bleeding. I had the tens machine once I was out.

You could look up hypnobirthing and go in to the birth with an open mind. Don’t feel disappointed in whatever route you end up taking.

Well, if you have the luxury to be telling us you don't even use paracetamol presumably you have limited experience of severe pain?

So what's your basis for thinking you "can do it without it"?

Ultimately it's your body and your choice.

I would only caution you not to set yourself up to feel you've "failed" for using pain relief because you've created a mindset of viewing pain relief as "weak" or "toxic". That's not a good place to put yourself in.

Fine to have that as your ideal, but do think about plan b and c in case things go wrong. You have no way of knowing in advance how your labour will go.

My sister had both hers without drugs and apparently it was a great experience.

Don’t plan for no drugs. Just wait and see. I would say my vaginal birth was any more or less natural than my mate’s, just because I used water and a couple of paracetamol and she ended up on a drip.

I have had three babies, I did 2 with gas and air and one with nothing (failed epidural).

The gas and air were very definitely the better ones!

However I also found pacing myself (not using up all my energy out of excitement/misunderstanding where I was in the early stages), using other techniques before the end stage and understanding the physiology of birth to be really helpful as well.

My best tip is to read Juju Sundin's Birth Skills book. I used more of those with DC3 and found them really, really good.

Had a drug free birth and it was bloody painful but fine - I can't even remember the pain (it's so hard to explain)!

12+4 weeks pregnant with baby two and hoping for the same. You've got this!

I thought I’d be fine as well. I wasn’t

I waited to long and had to do it unmedicated. It was like an actual nightmare

I was like this OP, I’m not entirely sure why. I did have my 3 DC without any pain relief as I had really quick labours. I do think you need to be really open minded about the birth.

Do you view gas and air as drugs? I had mine with just that. It was fine, yes it's painful but if labour doesn't go on for too long (like just 2-3 hours) it's manageable. You can use gas and air only intermittently, with each contraction, so you don't feel 'out of it' continuously. It wears off in seconds.
Is worth practising a breathing method if you do go for this.
Good luck!

I understand how you feel

With my 1st pregnancy ibwaa determined that I did not want an epidural (unless necessary of I was Indiced etc)
Thankfully I never needed an epidural

When I did go into labour , I tried to hold out as long as I could before accepting pain relief . Not to try and be big and brave , but I thought it would be better to save the pain relief till the pain was extreme

Once they broke my Watere at 6cm I started with gas and air , it wasn't really helping and make me feels sick. I then had a pethidine shot, which did help! But it made me hallucinate and I absolutely hated that feeling, like I wasn't in to Control.
Once that wore of they offered me gas and air again , I has one puff and it make me throw up everywhere, so the last few hours I just pushed through without anything because I felt like the pain killers were making me feel worse tbh. I had a fairly straight forward labour thankfully, so this obviously helped

I'm pregnant again , and hoping I can cope without pain relief again next time, but obviously at the time I may change my mind!

Also, an antenatal class and/or a one to one with a doula (whether or not you want to hire a doula to support you for the actual birth) are extremely worth it as well.

Drug free childbirth is no picnic. It's hard work, it can be long, it's relentless and it is extremely painful. Preparation goes a long way, even though it's hard to imagine before you do it.

I was on all fours for most of my labour and on my back to push, this really worked for me.

It's this kind of attitude that's probably getting people's backs up in conversation btw:

I've never really been one for taking any kind of drugs

The only people I've met who talk like that have the immense privilege of never having experienced any significant illness, injury or pain, and look down on people who have.

I mean, nobody who'd had to have major surgery would say something so silly and dismissive. It does make you sound naive and judgemental.

Being in pain actually impairs recovery from surgery and leads to poorer outcomes, so failing to adhere to pain management regimes post-op is unwise - which is something else to have in mind in case you need a section.

May I gently suggest that if you have "never really been one for taking drugs" you are probably fortunate enough have never had real reason to, and don't have much experience of real pain?

Try and keep an open mind. Nothing wrong with wanting to give birth drug-free, but please don't feel a failure if this isn't how it ends up going.

Entonox (gas and air) is a drug.

It is naive, yes.
Doesn’t mean it’s not possible.
But I agree with others. It’s fine to have it as your ideal but be mentally prepared for other options.
Don’t get too attached to the idea as it can be very distressing when it doesn’t go the way you’d built it up to be in your head.
If you’ve no experience of pain beyond the odd headache then you really have no way of judging how well you’ll manage.
I didn’t and it’s still the most pain I’ve ever experienced!!

It’s fine to hope for a drug free birth, but keep and open mind and investigate the options just in case it doesn’t go how you expect. You could be setting yourself up for a lot of misplaced feelings of failure if you don’t manage it. You don’t really know how it’s going to go till your in the thick of it.

Don’t be a martyr, you wouldn’t have a tooth removed without anaesthetic.

I planned for a drug-free birth (other than gas and air) and was fine both times. Just as well second time around because it was a home birth so an epidural wasn't an option and I would have had to get a prescription for pethidine in advance, which I decided not to do.

I think you should plan for what you want but be prepared to change your mind if necessary!

Agree with a pp. Don't set up a dichotomy of pain relief = bad and natural = good because you simply don't know what hand you will be dealt.

I almost never take pain relief, have a high pain threshold and am alcohol, caffeine and sugar free. I planned a natural birth. Ohhhhh. I should have just planned to go with the flow. I refused pain relief for 31hrs, through hours of pushing and back to back contractions. I had a severely stuck baby and was in absolute abject agony. I wanted to die. Every bit of me hurt but I refused to give in. It made for a miserable, appalling and traumatic labour ending in a lot of intervention, surgery, emcs, haemorrhage and many drugs. I felt like a total failure and was fucking exhausted when I had a new baby to care for.

Then I had my second and thought I'd go in with an open mind. 38hr labour but didn't need any drugs because it didn't hurt. I had another emcs but the labour itself was fine. And no feelings of failure and nor would there have been if I'd had pain relief.

I learned the hard way that you can't really plan for the events of the day. Hope for and prepare for the ideal and consider contingencies for each eventuality.

But whenever it comes up in conversation with anyone, I get the "just you wait!" attitude.

I always think this is an absurd attitude, because women do do it without pain relief. It’s not like you’re proposing something new.

I would say, fine to aim for it. But don’t let it become too important, to the point where you’ll feel bad if you do end up with pain relief. Just do it with an open mind and thinking “no drugs is my preference, but I’ll do what I need to at the time.”
Don’t let the desire for a no pain relief stop you researching the different types available either, it’s good to know so that if you need it you know what you’ll be given.

I personally had very little pain relief. I suffer from severe emetophobia (fear of vomiting) and the people who told me the pain of contractions would override any fear were wrong. I hardly had any gas and air for fear it would cause nausea/vomiting. This was not ideal, I’d have liked to have been able to use it more, but it turns out my phobia is pretty strong, and I only used it for a handful of contractions because it just wasn’t worth the panic.

Don't put it in your birth plan that you don't want pain relief because if you change your mind at the time they will most likely hold you to that and refuse you. It happened to me with my 3rd birth. I made a stupid comment to the midwife saying 'I don't want anything but I'm saying that now' and of course what I really meant was I might change my mind. 2 hours later i was in so much pain I could hardly talk and they were telling me no pain relief because that's what I wanted 🤦‍♀️
I'm 37 weeks today and my midwife signed off on my birth plan which is very basic and just says we'll see how I feel at the time.
Absolutely go in with the intention of no pain relief and hats off to you if you can manage it but do not tell them that at all because you don't want your labour to become a bad experience where you feel you were not listened to at the time

I don't know how drug free you want to be but I had paracetamol and gas & air when I gave birth and would recommend both. The paracetamol was surprisingly effective, I think because I never take it. The gas & air was good and helped me concentrate on my breathing.

I hoped to have a drug free birth (ie, no epidural etc) but a few hours in I was asking/begging for more pain relief. By the time I asked, it was too late. I'd say don't rule it out because you never know but it's not impossible to go without.

I would highly recommend you hire/buy a tens machine. It really took the edge off my contractions for the first couple of hours.

Good luck! Xx

For sure this is achievable and I hope you will have the birth you desire. Finger crossed

Only tip I have is to keep your mind open and be ready for a sudden change of plan.
I also wanted a drug free birth....well, I did not have one because at 42 weeks baby was still inside and I needed an emergency section after a failed induction.
I needed Therapy after that to come to terms with what happened.
It still hurts a bit....