Am I crazy for wanting a natural child birth?

[Evianontoast]

Hi. I'm 31 weeks and starting to think about my birth plan with my
first baby. I've never really been one for taking any kind of drugs - I don't even take paracetamol (I also don't drink alcohol or caffeine, and haven't done for years, even before I was pregnant. Not really sure why, I just don't like the idea of it).

I really feel like I'd feel better going in to birth with a plan to not have any pain relief if I can help it. I understand that many people feel this way and end up with the pain relief in the end (thank goodness it's available if you need it). But whenever it comes up in conversation with anyone, I get the "just you wait!" attitude.

Am I being completely naive? I really think I can do it without it but maybe that's just first time mum naivety? Anyone else do it with no drugs? Do you regret it/ are you glad you did it?

Thanks in advance.

I agree about birth plans being a joke

My Nan (4 babies born at home in the 50s, no pain relief etc) actually snorted when I told her about birth plans.

read in a stern northern accent ‘No point, Shloer. Baby hasn’t read it.’

Keep your options open OP. I went into labour having my eaters broken by the doctor. The pain was indescribable, the midwife told me that l needed pain relief and quickly. Without an epidural l would not have gotten through it. I didn't need that much because of my height anyway but it literally saved me

In my culture its frowned upon to have pain relief but l am so glad l did, its your choice but there is no shame in pain relief or no pain relief

** WATERS

Also what is the benefit in specifically putting ‘no pain relief’ on a piece of paper? Why not just see if you need it? It’s not like if you cave and ask for it they’ll stop you and say BUT ITS NOT IN YOUR PLAN, they’ll just give it to you.

I will tell you my experience and as I've only the one, then I have nothing to compare it to.

I wanted a water birth with no pain relief. I filled in a very detailed birth plan and every appointment I went to I reiterated what I wanted. They reassured me it would be listened to. I too am a person that doesn't take drugs, but now takes paracetamol on the rare occasion.

So, I go into labour and it is like the worst period pain Ive ever experienced, and my periods are pure bastards that want me dead.

I go to the hospital and they offer me paracetamol and an Ibuprofen. I want them all dead, all of them.

Some hours later, I have gas and air- it makes me feel like Ive been on a massive bender. I tell the midwife Im going to be sick. She shoves the gas and air back into my mouth. I then vomit. I apologise, and she scowls at me.

It's been 24 hours since I arrived at the hospital so I dont know what the hell is going on.

I get some drug injected into my thigh which makes me feel like I know there is pain but I don't care.

I get the same drug again.

I am then offered an epidural at some point - I think Ive been there around 30 hours (my entire labour was over 40 hours). Immediately after the epidural I crave lemonade and they then tell me Im not allowed any liquids. Marvellous.
At some point they assess my child's heart rate internally and press an emergency button. A million people come in to gape at my hairy canary while I cry as Im asked to sign a form for a Cesarean. I do not want a cesarean. But I sign it because what else am I going to do when they tell me my child's heart rate is dropping and so is mine?

Im then brought into the operating theatre where the sense of emergency dissipates and I'm given a spinal block.

A surgeon comes in at some point (I presume its the surgeon) and instead of operating, tells me to push. As I have had every drug under the sun and dont know when Im pushing, the third midwife since my labour began tells me when Im using the right muscles and I push. My child is born, I tear from hither to thither, but thank fuck I don't feel it as Im high as a kite. But my child isnt breathing. They have to be resuscitated and yet are in the end, fine.

Because I've had so many drugs, I don't feel anything when I have my first (and probably second) poo or wee.

However, it is most likely, that my labour was prolonged, and my child was unresponsive because of all the lovely labour drugs I had. But the pain of labour was so bad, I don't think I could have coped without them. On the other hand, if Id had a water birth and somebody actually read the notes in my file, I may have had a different experience, but then again maybe not (loads of maybes going on).

I will never know. Yet the great thing is that there were loads of medical staff that got me through it and saved my child and myself, and the drugs were available when needed.

@Glassofshloer

I agree about birth plans being a joke

My Nan (4 babies born at home in the 50s, no pain relief etc) actually snorted when I told her about birth plans.

read in a stern northern accent ‘No point, Shloer. Baby hasn’t read it.’

I found the idea of them very odd. Everything I read before I had DD would say how you didn’t know how it would go, what interventions you might need, what pain relief you might want etc. But would then also talk about making a plan. Particularly as DD was my first, how am I supposed to make a plan for something I have no idea about. I’m pregnant with DC2 at the moment and won’t do a plan with this one either - DD was thankfully fairly straightforward, if she hadn’t been I might be more inclined to do a plan based on my experience of various interventions, different pain relief etc, but I’m still not aware of what any of that would be like, so don’t feel like planning would achieve anything.

[quote SickAndTiredAgain]@ScotsMumOf4 sorry, I didn’t mean that I didn’t believe you, that sounds horrendous.[/quote]
No it's absolutely fine. I wouldn't want op to go through anything like that

People will answer this with their own loaded opinion based on their anecdotal experience.

I think you should gone down what is specifically about drugs you don't like- feeling woosy? Not in control? Chemicals in your body?

That will make it easier to make decisions eg between gas and air (low level intervention/ no impact on birth outcomes) and epidural (no feelings of woosyness but increases risk of forceps/ c section).

Have a detailed birth plan for different eventualities eg if breach/ twins/ premature birth and c section recommended would you rather spinal/ epidural or general anaesthetic? What about post c section pain?

There are so many types of Pain relief you should familiarise yourself with the pros and cons of each.

Hypnobirthing. Cannot recommend it enough.

Biggest key thing is do not panic. Even if things are harder or more painful than you expect , panicking will hinder not help.

You need to let go of any idea that having drugs would be failing. I’m not saying you can’t do it without but I would go into it with an open mind.
(I’ve had two babies with just gas and air but personally I would have struggled without that it’s bloody wonderful stuff and it helped enormously. So did birthing pool but only had that with the second kid)

I agree about birth plans being a joke

absolutely. hence my bold statement for my last journey

I forgot to say - the water-birthing pools were shut for repairs, hence there being no water-birthing option.

Have you thought about a homebirth?

I didn't want pain relief and thought if I was at home the options would be taken away from me (apart from gas and air, and paracetamol in early labour) - I think if I'd been at hospital I'd have screamed for an epidural. Actually in transition I did make plans to walk to hospital (15 miles away) and was trying to figure out how I could leave the room without the midwives noticing. Transition is weird!

I think you should gone down what is specifically about drugs you don't like

I genuinely think most women are fine with pain relief but don’t want it because they want the crunchy birth points; and nothing will persuade me otherwise.

I don’t know a single person who hasn’t accepted pain relief for operations, appendixes being removed, broken legs etc.

Did it twice with no pain relief (except water labour/birth). That was also my aim despite me being the first person to reach for tablets in real life! Didn’t regret it for a second.

I think the NHS plan template is quite good if you don't consider it a birth plan but more of a new baby plan- because it asks quite sensible things like who is cutting the cord, do you consent vitamin K, how do you prefer your placenta delivery, that kind of thing. Everyone fixes on the pain relief section (of course! Completely natural) but the plan as a whole at least gets you to think about other bits and bobs that you will be asked in the aftermath, so at least you know what else to think about.

My plan in terms of pain this time was "no drip without epidural' and that was it. But DP and I still went through the other bits to remind ourselves about them. I nearly got some pethidine, was glad I'd read up on it even though I'd assumed I'd just go straight to drip and epidural like I did in my first. As it happened it was too late for pethidine but at least I knew why they'd refused to give it!

Why would anyone not want the injection for the placenta?! Just why?!

No idea, but I know not everybody does! Nice lady whipped mine out after the injection in about 2 minutes flat, great but of work 😂

Not an expert but can't understand why people think not wanting pain relief must mean you're after some kind of medal?

Having teeth pulled out with an anaesthetic won't possibly result in the teeth being drowsy or needing resuscitation when they're pulled out, or affect the likelihood that instead of the teeth coming out of your mouth that there'll have to be an operation to cut directly into your face with a scalpel and extract them through there, which might then affect if your next tooth can safely be pulled out of your mouth or has to be extracted through your face as well, which might then affect your chances of having many teeth pulled out if that's what you might want in future...

But interventions like epidurals do affect your chances of c section, which can affect the dangers of future births and pregnancies, pain relief can affect how responsive your baby is when born.. people who compare birthing without pain relief to other major surgery without pain relief seem to be completely ignoring these effects.

They're not nothing.

I think you are somebody who has never experienced extreme pain. Childbirth is extreme pain unfortunately. I had one that ended up with an epidural but my second birth was with gas and air only. I managed it but my God the pain was horrific.

The truth is you can have a birth plan, of course, but you have no idea what is going to happen or how you'll cope so my advice would be to "play it by ear" and see how you manage. You may be absolutely fine but there is no shame in asking for or needing pain relief. Good luck!

All I have to offer is my own experience- I found the pain completely different from anything I’ve ever experienced before or since. I imagined really bad period pains (which I get anyway) but this was something else altogether. It wasn’t in any particular area - it was like my whole body had become pain. I couldn’t speak, walk, stand, sit or lie properly - all I could do was writhe and scream. I also made very little progress over more than 18 hours - I was barely 1cm by that point. But - when I had my epidural - which they gave me very early as I clearly wasn’t coping- my body just relaxed and I was 10cm and pushing within 5 hours. I’m not saying you will feel pain on that level - not everyone does - but if you do, please don’t torture yourself in the name of “a drug free birth”. If I hadn’t been given a chance to relax and recover with the epidural, I think I would still have been there 18 hours later screaming in agony.

@TheFormidableMrsC

I think you are somebody who has never experienced extreme pain. Childbirth is extreme pain unfortunately. I had one that ended up with an epidural but my second birth was with gas and air only. I managed it but my God the pain was horrific.

The truth is you can have a birth plan, of course, but you have no idea what is going to happen or how you'll cope so my advice would be to "play it by ear" and see how you manage. You may be absolutely fine but there is no shame in asking for or needing pain relief. Good luck!

I agree - if you’ve never been in extreme pain before you have no idea how you’ll feel.

I sense a sort of smugness about not taking things like paracetamol. It’s great if you haven’t needed to but as someone who relies on 22 medications a day including Tramadol to manage an array of chronic diseases it really isn’t a “choice” as such not to take these things- if you want quality of life then you do!

I was sure I didn't want an epidural, just gas and air. Well, the gas and air made me throw up (more than I already was from the pain), and by the time I asked for an epidural when my waters broke, there was no point. So, drug-free.

As lots of people have already said, it's fine to have a preference/plan, but in reality you won't necessarily be in control of everything that happens to you and the baby - things can go wrong, you can change your mind as you go, the midwives/doctors may make suggestions that suddenly make sense to you. I wanted to be on all fours, but my midwives brought out a medieval birthing stool - half an hour later job done.

It's doable. Although I did have 2 paracetamol

I am a retired anaesthetist. Forgive me for having a wry chuckle.
If I had a pound for every epidural I’ve put into an exhausted, screaming mother with “natural birth, no pain relief” written on her birth plan, I could have retired a lot earlier!
I’m with Schloer’s nan - the baby certainly hasn’t read the “plan” and nor has your pelvis.
I am intrigued by the very notion of a plan for an event over which you have virtually no control! All you can write is a wish list of how you want it to be. Reality has a nasty habit of intervening.
Please don’t set yourself up to fail, with an impossible plan. Too many women labour in agony for far too long, before admitting they need pain relief. As I always tell them, we don’t give out medals for suffering, and there is no shame in needing an epidural.

I think you should gone down what is specifically about drugs you don't like- feeling woosy? Not in control? Chemicals in your body?

This - what is your motivation? If it's to prove you can do it I'd urge you to let that go; it's setting yourself up to feel like you've 'failed '. If it's a specific aim then there may be multiple ways to achieve that and you can inform yourself. I was open to all forms of pain relief but wanted an epidural only as a last resort because at the time I believed that they increased the risk of needing an assisted birth, which I wanted to minimize (I've since learned that actually the evidence on this is unclear and they may well not do). As it worked out I had gas and air in both my births (and water in the second) but I wouldn't have felt like a failure whatever pain relief I needed.