Am I crazy for wanting a natural child birth?

[Evianontoast]

Hi. I'm 31 weeks and starting to think about my birth plan with my
first baby. I've never really been one for taking any kind of drugs - I don't even take paracetamol (I also don't drink alcohol or caffeine, and haven't done for years, even before I was pregnant. Not really sure why, I just don't like the idea of it).

I really feel like I'd feel better going in to birth with a plan to not have any pain relief if I can help it. I understand that many people feel this way and end up with the pain relief in the end (thank goodness it's available if you need it). But whenever it comes up in conversation with anyone, I get the "just you wait!" attitude.

Am I being completely naive? I really think I can do it without it but maybe that's just first time mum naivety? Anyone else do it with no drugs? Do you regret it/ are you glad you did it?

Thanks in advance.

I had a drug free birth the first time (not by choice-super fast baby!) and swore never ever again. I’m tough but this was horrific.

Baby 2 I get there early in time to get diamorphine and wished I hadn’t. My baby also came out with respiratory depression due to the drugs and I couldn’t hold her for hours as I didn’t have a clue what was going on.

Either way you do what you have to do to get through it. Half the time I don’t think I could think straight to make a proper informed decision anyway!

Wait and see.
I had all mine without any medical intervention but I did keep an open mind each time because you never ever know how it will go

@Glassofshloer

I think you should gone down what is specifically about drugs you don't like

I genuinely think most women are fine with pain relief but don’t want it because they want the crunchy birth points; and nothing will persuade me otherwise.

I don’t know a single person who hasn’t accepted pain relief for operations, appendixes being removed, broken legs etc.

Well I gave birth at home for various reasons. Partly practical (DH can’t drive for medical reasons), but also I suffer with panic attacks and they’re worse when somewhere like a hospital so I wanted to avoid if possible. That limited my options for pain relief to gas and air, which I explained upthread why I barely used it due to severe phobia and panic that it would make me sick. So the fact I had very little pain relief wasn’t at all actually about the pain relief itself. It was other choices (or involuntary things like my phobia) that just took precedence. Had you been able to have an epidural at home, maybe I’d have gone for that. So it was not any “crunchy mum” nonsense, or a firmly held desire to avoid pain relief, it was just a side effect of other things. And the home birth wasn’t a crunchy birth thing either, it was suggested by my midwife (who wasn’t a home birth midwife) as being a good option for me before she was aware of my anxiety or DH not driving. Her recommendation was a very big part of my decision, just as it would have been if she’d recommended induction or c section or anything else.

I think part of the problem is not knowing how long the labour will last. If you knew it was 4 hours or 1 day or whatever it would make a big difference to withstanding the pain. But you don't.
I had 3 with gas and air only - that was all that was on offer in those days. The second was very fast, the third not far behind.

Absolutely @SickAndTiredAgain and that’s why I said ‘most’ - not all obviously, but the only FTMs I know who opted for homebirth or drug free birth wanted one because ‘nature knows what to do, my body is made for this, I’m a birthing goddess’ apparently

No you aren't naive, I had a natural birth, it really was fine in my case, tooth ache is far worse!

My tips are keeping active in labour, the birthing ball is amazing to rock through contractions, and ensure you have things to take your mind off things too, it's usually a few hours of feeling uncomfortable so helps to keep busy doing something, an occupied mind thinks less about the pain

I had no idea what to expect so I went into it with an open mind on pain relief. I’m not usually one to reach for pain relief but I felt in this situation I’d like to make myself more comfortable if I needed it.

However I ended up with an accidental drug free birth. I didn’t want to bother the midwives (yes I know!) so I left it too late to have anything. Where I am they don’t have gas and air so I had nothing. I can’t say I look back and wish I had taken pain relief, my birth ended up with complications - vacuum delivery and retained placenta - but these would have existed either way. So it is completely doable but I would say it’s better not to put pressure on yourself to do it and to see how you feel at the time.

@babdoc I remember the anaesthetist for my first seeming to be genuinely delighted he was getting chance to put an epidural into a patient that was able to sit still AND chat (they hadn't broken my waters at that point), he gave me a nice biology lesson on how you guys know when you're in the right place...

No way I'd have been able to have one by the time I got anyone to believe me that things were progressing fast this time. I didn't enjoy the feeling of panic, I think that's a less well known befit of an epidural, assuming it works properly I found myself so calm at the end because of it whereas this one, with bugger all pain relief, I was feeling out of control. I'm just glad it all happened quickly and easily in the end as they'd unwrapped the forceps ready for me again.

@Glassofshloer

Why would anyone not want the injection for the placenta?! Just why?!

I didn’t want it. Stupid as it sounds after a var final birth with only gas and air I just didn’t want an injection! Waited and it came out perfectly fine by itself. The body in most cases knows what to do (as long as there have been no previous interventions) and birth is so medicalised. Great to have it there if you need it but in lots of cases it’s not.

@Silverswirl but there’s no actual benefit to not having it is there? I mean tangible medical benefits.

Your natural pain relief that is produced during labour in the form of endorphins is more powerful than any chemical drug they can give you. Woman can birth in power but the medicalisation of birth doesn’t allow for it (see pp by the anaesthesiologist Huge eye roll) If you don’t want pain relief hold onto that and do what you can. Firstly a home birth would be more supportive of this as in hospital you are more likely to be forced into interventions. Secondly, there is a wealth of knowledge on the internet if you search for it OP. You can do this.

[quote Glassofshloer]@Silverswirl but there’s no actual benefit to not having it is there? I mean tangible medical benefits.[/quote]
No not really. I didn't want it but had a PPH so ended up having it 3 times. Didn't work though!

I think you'd be wise to unpick your reasoning a bit.

I had a 'gas and air' birth. I have nothing against drugs (always take them for a headache for example) but I really wanted to try to have a mobile birth and I believe strongly in the power of oxytocin in birth - all mammal bodies know if you feel safe and relaxed enough to advance birth and struggle to release the right hormones if you're stressed and bothered by noise and bright lights.

So I wanted to avoid an epidural so that i could stay as mobile as possible and also in the MLU where the rooms are more relaxing. It wasn't some sort of statement of toughness or martyrdom. So if there had been a reason I needed to be in the more medical delivery ward i'd have been happy to accept any pain relief offered, but as it was I used a tens machine and birthing pool and it all worked out just fine.

Good god!
Have you never had a tooth out? Dental treatment? If you had painkillers or anesthetic for that you should have the same for childbirth.
Childbirth hurts far more than having a tooth out.
It's pure misogyny otherwise. If only women had teeth we'd still be having them pulled 'naturally' with pliers, completely 'without drugs'

[quote Glassofshloer]@Silverswirl but there’s no actual benefit to not having it is there? I mean tangible medical benefits.[/quote]
The injection does make some women feel sick, apparently, though personally I can't imagine opting for a greater risk of haemorrhage to avoid a bit of nausea. But they have to ask you to consent anyway so I guess that's why it's in their suggested birth plan.

Have you never had a tooth out? Dental treatment? If you had painkillers or anesthetic for that you should have the same for childbirth.

I don't think a lidocaine injection would do much for childbirth...

@Hardbackwriter the injection lowers the chance of pph?! Ok now I know people are just being obtuse not having it! I didn’t know that!

Birth experiences and pain levels vary vastly from person to person and baby to baby. Anything could happen during birth and you just have no idea until you're going through it. I had a difficult birth with no pain relief as it was too late and it was agony. There are no medals for going without pain relief. Nobody keeps a record.

Going into it, you don't know what will happen.

With my first, my DM warned me that her, her sister and mother had all had quick births. My plan was to just see how it went. As the afternoon progressed, they could see contractions on the monitor... but they were mildly annoying if anything. I could talk through them etc. At 7pm I was left to get some rest. DD was born 15 minutes later with no one else in the room and without the pushing stage (well, one push)... I suddenly told DH the baby was co.ing, and he ran out the room to find help, turned round and baby was on the bed. Unfortunately this isn't as ideal as it sounds I don't remember what happened after just a lot of people.

Second was a homebirth, partly due to them being worried I would give birth unexpectedly somewhere like the side of a country lane. Again no pain relief necessary, but she came in two pushes.

End result... I have two daughters. My friends that needed c sections, epidurals, assisted deliveries etc all had a baby at the end of it. It really doesn't matter in the long run.

So be open minded. Have pain relief if you need it. If you don't thats fine. But neither is better.

[quote Glassofshloer]@Silverswirl but there’s no actual benefit to not having it is there? I mean tangible medical benefits.[/quote]
For me there is as I am needle phobic. But you are given the option or at least I was. I could have had the injection if it has not come out within 30 mins but you get up to an hour before it’s classed as a retained placenta

I think it’s important to have a plan. I find the idea that there’s no point planning as anything could happen odd- you could say that about anything. I also think it’s best to be quite determined, if you’re too open minded it’s easy to be pressurised or swayed. It’s also best if you think carefully about support - a doula or an independent midwife- that way again you are more likely to feel calm and confident. I’d also go home birth. Maternity services are in a pretty shocking way at the moment so fight for what you need.

You're not crazy to want a natural birth but you should definitely keep an open mind and do what needs to be done. Don't feel a failure if it's not how you imagined.

You're not crazy for wanting a 'natural' birth, no, but you should be prepared to be flexible. The only two things that really matter in the end are the baby arriving safely and you not being too badly injured or traumatised in the process.

Ime you're far more likely to get less pain relief than you want, rather than more. I know a few people who wanted an epidural but were fobbed off with gas and air or nothing at all until it was too late. There isn't a great culture of listening to what women want in childbirth and birth plans are often largely a work of fiction.

Those saying why would you want the injection for the placenta - I wasnt given any choice - are youmeant to have a choice?! I asked for my placenta the day after and they said it had already been incinerated, despite me putting it in the birth plan that I wanted it. I was on so many drugs I didnt think about the placenta until the day after. Are they meant to ask your permission to give you the injection to encourage it out?

I never have paracetamol either not even for a headache or if I hurt myself any other way, however after my c section I asked for morphine every single time I could because it's more bloody painful than anything I've ever been through. Can't speak for a natural birth but I think you need to accept that you may not be able to take the pain.