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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Am I the most overdue women ever?

102 replies

Treem90 · 21/10/2021 15:48

I’m really struggling today. This is my first pregnancy and my due date was 8th October. Based on personal preference (I have absolutely no judgements on what other people have done or prefer to do, everyone should do what’s right for them) I would rather avoid induction and let the labour start naturally so I can start labour in a better headspace however I am now on my 13th day overdue. While the nurses and midwives have been lovely, I feel like I’m being treated like a ticking time bomb. They are very ominous when discussing the risks of being overdue past my due date (which I thought was an estimated guess) but will tell me to get my waters artificially broken and hormonal drips as if they’re offering me a cup of tea without at all discussing the risks or stages of those methods. My partner had asked two different nurses at different times the most overdue people they have seen and they get very nervous and say oh usually about 6 days maximum which makes me wonder why the whole hospital isn’t in staring at me like I’m some kind of circus freak as I’m on day 13.

I have a plan in place to be induced by pessary on Sunday when I’m 16 days overdue and waters broken on Monday at 17 days overdue. In the meantime I have been getting lots of monitoring and baby is fine. I thought my waters had broken last night and went to hospital today and turns out my cervix is still posterior so I just feel so disheartened. Please do not share any horror stories or warnings with me as I already feel very vulnerable and like a bit of an outcast. I just want to not feel like such an isolated case.

I understand why nurses and midwives don’t want to applaud decisions with risks but it confuses me that induction methods are flung at you with no info or details from your due date on as if they are totally fine. I am happy to get an induction when the time comes, I am not against it and understand it’s necessary for the baby to get here safely I just wish the whole overdue thing wasn’t so taboo.

Sorry for rambling, feeling very hormonal.

OP posts:
Haveyoubrushedyourteethtoday · 21/10/2021 15:51

These decisions are made for sound reasons but more importantly you are having a baby! It’s all very exciting. I’m jealous. My youngest baby is 14 and I’d do it again in a heartbeat! Xx

RandomMess · 21/10/2021 16:04

With my 2nd I waited to 17 days over.

Bishops Score was still only 1 (as it would have been before I even got pregnant). One pessary was enough and I delivered 10 hours later but there was thick grade 3 meconium in my waters and that was horrid and meant there was a Dr too.

The next 2 DC I agreed to be induced at 14 days over as I still couldn't have a home birth that late and wanted to avoid the meconium again which I did.

TokyoSushi · 21/10/2021 16:06

I have nothing useful to add, but good luck, I hope your baby is here very soon!

PissyMum · 21/10/2021 16:09

You are given the information based on what is most likely to result in the safe delivery of your baby. It’s absolutely your right to not want to be induced but you can’t be surprised that medical staff express concern.

GreenLunchBox · 21/10/2021 16:10

Being induced wasn't much fun but that was over 19 years ago so I'm sure it's better now!

Good luck with the birth ...how lovely and exciting! Smile

BurningBenches · 21/10/2021 16:12

DC1 & 3 went to 42wks and induced
DC4 & 5 were induced at 40wks and 41wks due to size and my age.

DC2 was the only one who came spontaneously at 10days over.

So whilst I'm not the most over due woman ever, I did manage to clock up an additional 44days of pregnancy across the 5 🤣

Good luck

thetrinityisshite · 21/10/2021 16:13

I lost the will and was induced by a pessary at 13 days over with my second. No issues during the five hour labour. Good luck!

onthinice · 21/10/2021 16:15

I was induced at 12 days over due with my first and she was born 2 days later (wasn't in labour that long, its just the pessary didn't do much and then the ward got busy so they left it another day). At the time (13 years ago!) I was told it was extremely common to go that overdue. I now work in a job where I see data regarding all births that occur in my local area on a daily basis and I have only ever seen a handful as late as 42 weeks. I have never seen one at 43 weeks.

I have had 2 babies first induced and second not. Second was a few hours quicker but can't say one was any more or any less painful than the other.

Good luck and congratulations.

Etonmessisyum · 21/10/2021 16:16

I was due on 1 June baby was born on 14th. I had one pessary then walked miles round hospital then they tried to send me home saying it hadn’t worked. I refused and baby was born just after midnight that night. All safe and sound, he’s now 10. Hope you go naturally op, and little bundle is here safe and sound soon. It’s not comfy being overdue - my son was 8lb 13oz gorgeous wee boy was born in his sac too.

Moorlander · 21/10/2021 16:21

I agree it's an odd area, the guidelines used by the midwives must be based on research but it certainly wasn't explained clearly to me with my first baby (though that was 18 years ago) and I found the whole thing a bit confusing as I too thought the due date was really just an estimate and I wanted to avoid induction. I was 14 days 'overdue' when I luckily went into natural labour so I didn't have to make any difficult decisions in the end! I think different women obviously have different responses to being overdue and that should be respected. Wishing you all the very best whatever happens next! Exciting times!

8dpwoah · 21/10/2021 16:27

Jokingly, no it's me as I was originally meant to be having this one at 37 weeks and I'm going in for my induction at 41 weeks tomorrow!

I think it's a taboo to go so far over because of the risk factors and I'm very glad I'm going in tomorrow and not waiting any longer but that's me (and I've had one before so know the drill), you've made your decisions and it sounds as though things have been ok with you both so the proof is in your pudding, as it were, isn't it.

I do completely agree that they don't tell you a great deal about the induction process, which I can't understand, and you need to be prepared that just because they say they will do your waters on the day after the pessary it may not pan out like that. But it might. Either way you'll have your baby soon and I just wanted to say as I did to another lady the other day, induction is often built up to being this big thing but keep asking questions and making sure you've got the pain relief options in front of you as and when you need them. Hope all goes smoothly and quickly for you!

ittakes2 · 21/10/2021 16:28

I am very sorry but I was in hospital for months waiting for my twins to be born and there were two pregnancy issues that the midwives were most worried about when I was there. Women with high blood pressure and women overdue and they said this was because the baby's placenta started to break down after a point.

nurserypolitics · 21/10/2021 16:30

I was induced at +11, DD was born +12. In all honesty, I look back and I would have made a different decision and done it earlier. I think at this point its worth thinking through your various options for how you would want an induction to go. I also wonder if they'll tell you your Bishop score? Because if its v low in your position I really would move an induction date sooner, whereas if its possible you'll go into spontaneous labour in the next day or so I would wait and see.

In my case, I wanted to go as long as possible to increase likelihood of a 'normal' labour and delivery. But my bishop score on the day of induction showed I basically wasn't at all receptive to labour. I was then overstimulated by the pessary, they had to take it out, DD was very distressed but it resolved. However it was a pretty awful labour: I experienced it as one long contraction, no breaks. Then, when I finally got to 3cm, they were again concerned about her heart rate: I had an epidural, waters broken (Meconium in waters)and the drip. Her heart rate went funny again, as I reached 10cm, and had instrumental delivery to get her out fast.

About 2 weeks postpartum, she developed a mystery illness and spent a week in hospital. I had group b strep and I will always wonder if the extra time in there caused the infection to travel to her. I look back and I think an earlier delivery would have been better.

Honestly, its anecdotal but I think I'd want to know whether you really are 13 days over or whether there is some uncertainty about dates because in my experience, some babies just don't seem to want to come out. Most people I know who went late then had a spontaneous labour and delivery were unclear about their dates, so probably actually went into labour a few days after their actual due date.

Personally if I did it again, I would go for induction earlier. At the moment, I have a planned section lined up, but that's really to do with the bad tear and the fact I've confirmed group b strep and am paranoid about the exposure of a vaginal birth. With a bishop score that low, I'd want a plan in place for ensuring I could move to the drip/epidural more quickly: they wanted me to wait the 24 hours/till I was 3 cm and I was exhausted as a result, and I suspect she was too.

I don't at all mean this as a horror story, my birth worked out absolutely fine, but I think I got too caught up in the 'your body knows what to do' argument. The simple fact is, there used to be a much higher rate of stillbirth, maternal loss, and long lasting damage done to children. We absolutely have too much unnecessary intervention, but its really hard to know where to draw the line. In my case, looking back, I think I'm not happy with the risks I took. I got too caught up in 'the hospital will push intervention, its your job to resist it.' Its really difficult to make a decision when it feels people aren't weighing up your individual risks but are taking a 'computer says no' attitude. Personally, I don't know anyone who has gone past 14 days. I think that would be my cut off in terms of 'rewards' vs risk - I really think a low intervention spontaneous labour isn't very likely at that point, and the worst case scenario risks are quite scary

I'd also try to focus on what you want to feel like when the baby gets here. I was pretty exhausted after my labour, it definitely had an effect. This waiting will be really tiring you too. I know it can feel like pregnancy is all about leading to the birth, but this bit isn't really the fight: its the weeks ahead and adapting to the baby and you want to be in the best shape for that too.

Battleofwhocouldcareless · 21/10/2021 16:31

I went 12 days over with DS2. I was booked in for an induction that morning but started contractions naturally. He was born 12 hours later 8lb3.
They wanted to induce me with DS3 as I had gestational diabetes. It wasn't diagnosed until he was 38wks so they let me go to 40 when I went into labour naturally. There was meconium in my waters, so they put me on a drip and he was born 6 hours later.

Cantdecidewhich · 21/10/2021 16:33

My granddaughter was due 26th April and born 12th May left her too long in my opinion

Luckytattie · 21/10/2021 16:34

Since you've written this I think you'll go into labour tonight Grin

Good luck!

passionfruitpizza · 21/10/2021 16:35

I was 17 days 'late' there was a woman at the same hospital that was over 44 weeks when she delivered, apparently all the women in her family had really long pregnancies.

Luckytattie · 21/10/2021 16:35

@Cantdecidewhich

My granddaughter was due 26th April and born 12th May left her too long in my opinion
Too long for what? Not coming on your schedule?.Hmm
Cakeofdoom · 21/10/2021 16:36

I went 17 days overdue with my 2nd child, that was 30 years ago mind. I was booked for an induction the next day but a large glass of red wine did the trick and I went into labour that night. I'm not advocating alcohol to bring on labour but it was an old wives tale and may or may not have worked :-) Best of luck xx

passionfruitpizza · 21/10/2021 16:40

Sara Wickham has some good resources on induction as does Evidence based birth. If you're on Instagram Kemibirthjoyjohnson is a brilliant midwife to follow, pressure on pregnant women by staff is something she talks about a lot.

sociallydistained · 21/10/2021 16:41

I am planning a home birth and want to avoid an induction and am prepared to go very over too. On the group I’m on there have been lots of stories of women having baby 42+.

I think best thing you can do is get into your zone, do things you enjoy, relax, walk, bound on a yoga ball and get the oxytocin flowing to self induce labour. Good luck!

Pantheon · 21/10/2021 16:42

I went 13 days over with dd. Narrowly avoided induction. Do what you can to increase your oxytocin and lower your stress levels. Good luck xx

IdrisElbow · 21/10/2021 16:44

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caringcarer · 21/10/2021 16:48

My firstborn, dd was 14 days late and I was induced. The afterbirth had broken up into pieces and baby not in best condition because of it. I am very glad I was not left any longer.

MarshmallowSwede · 21/10/2021 16:48

Relax.. Your baby is just enjoying final days in their first apartment. 😂

I wish you a speedy birth and recovery and a happy and healthy baby.