Am I the most overdue women ever?

[Treem90]

I’m really struggling today. This is my first pregnancy and my due date was 8th October. Based on personal preference (I have absolutely no judgements on what other people have done or prefer to do, everyone should do what’s right for them) I would rather avoid induction and let the labour start naturally so I can start labour in a better headspace however I am now on my 13th day overdue. While the nurses and midwives have been lovely, I feel like I’m being treated like a ticking time bomb. They are very ominous when discussing the risks of being overdue past my due date (which I thought was an estimated guess) but will tell me to get my waters artificially broken and hormonal drips as if they’re offering me a cup of tea without at all discussing the risks or stages of those methods. My partner had asked two different nurses at different times the most overdue people they have seen and they get very nervous and say oh usually about 6 days maximum which makes me wonder why the whole hospital isn’t in staring at me like I’m some kind of circus freak as I’m on day 13.

I have a plan in place to be induced by pessary on Sunday when I’m 16 days overdue and waters broken on Monday at 17 days overdue. In the meantime I have been getting lots of monitoring and baby is fine. I thought my waters had broken last night and went to hospital today and turns out my cervix is still posterior so I just feel so disheartened. Please do not share any horror stories or warnings with me as I already feel very vulnerable and like a bit of an outcast. I just want to not feel like such an isolated case.

I understand why nurses and midwives don’t want to applaud decisions with risks but it confuses me that induction methods are flung at you with no info or details from your due date on as if they are totally fine. I am happy to get an induction when the time comes, I am not against it and understand it’s necessary for the baby to get here safely I just wish the whole overdue thing wasn’t so taboo.

Sorry for rambling, feeling very hormonal.

I was 3 weeks late and perfectly healthy, just a biggish baby as I'd had extra time to grow. That did mean my mum ended up with an emergency caesarean though.

@Treem90

Wow posting on here has not made me feel better at all, I really wish I hadn’t said a thing

thanks to those with the reassuring comments, they were very much appreciated

DS was born at 42 + 3. I refused induction, went on monitoring, then it was thought I was a poor candidate for induction anyway, for various reasons, so went straight to an ELCS, which was unexpectedly nice, if a bit surreal. Very best wishes for your baby’s birth.

I was due on my mum's birthday and arrived 3 weeks later, perfectly healthy. My brother was due on Halloween and didn't arrive until the last week in November. Also healthy.

Personally wouldn't have been happy to go that far overdue with my own DC. As it happened mine were all early or on time.

When I had my first born 18 years ago it was 14 days past due date when they would discuss induction. I went to that point so I was induced. After my baby was born they tried to detach the placenta the way they normally do but noticed it was starting to break up. They had to put me back on the drip to induce contractions whilst pushing down on my tummy to help push it out. The placenta was dying off and the cord was close to only hanging on by a thread. I had a scan just 2 days before and everything was fine. All this was only discovered after the birth. If I’d waited another day my baby would have been stillborn.

I know you don’t want to hear ‘horror’ stories but you want to know why there’s so much emphasis on induction now. I’ve had 2 more babies in the past 2 years and I’ve noticed that emphasis for induction is much earlier than 14 days post due date now and this is because research shows that 14 days is too risky, and with what happened with my first baby, I agree.

On the other hand many are fine. Labour can take a few days to get going with the pessary, and first births normally take longer once labour is established. Could be why they’re pushing for it for you as you could be closer to 20 days overdue when you give birth, as 13 days really isn’t unheard of

Medical staff are only advising you because they want what is best for you and your baby. Obviously it’s up to you if you want to take the risks associated with going so overdue, but I don’t know why you think it’s strange that they are concerned.

You don’t want horror stories, and presumably a lot of people don’t want to share their horror stories anyway. But with the risks of stillbirth doubling after 42 weeks, it seems like playing with fire.

Hopefully everything’s fine, and you have a birth that you’re happy with.

@GreenLunchBox

Being induced wasn't much fun but that was over 19 years ago so I'm sure it's better now!

Good luck with the birth ...how lovely and exciting!

It's not. It's fucking horrific! I begged for a c section rather than induction. That drip they give you has the devils sweat in it or something it's just, eugh no!

OP I agree with you you should wait if that's what you feel comfortable with.

In France you'd only be 8 days over due as they count pregnancy as 40 weeks plus 6 days so!

Google "the myth of the late baby" for more statistics and information on still birth rates and placenta failings. I was quiet surprised.

I went 11 days overdue last year. I was induced and DC was born on day 12. Good luck!

Are you absolutely sure your due date is accurate? Sympathies to you, it's awful to me so overdue. But if your baby is still happy that's the most important thing.

No real advice, try to rest in between moving around. Fingers crossed for you.

@HyphenCobra and @puffylovett make really sound points. Good luck OP, it's hard to be overdue. Hope baby decides to get moving very soon.

Please don't wait. The risks are just not worth it. Trust me my good friend didn't listen to the midwives concerns and waited. She should have listened to the medical experts.

When mum had me I was due on the 15th of one month and finally appeared on the 9th of the next month 😊

I had planned my second homebirth for my third baby, after a textbook due date homebirth. He did not turn up, not a sniff of Labour. By 14 days, with excellent monitoring and 4000 sweeps, sex, Ball bouncing, curry, pineapple, you name it, I went in as he was getting big. It took one pessary and a swift walk, and with a strange click my water was gone. Not less than 45 minutes later I met my 9lb 12 son - dead easy birth with a bit of gas and air for delivery. And I have to say hospital was lovely. You can’t blame the professionals for being cautious because the end goal is a healthy mum and baby.

Soon you will be holding your lovely new baby OP, try not to focus on the birth, it’s a short window of time, and I have had two babies and didn’t find it too bad at all. First son arrIved the day before he was due 8lb 11oz. DS2 10 days early 9lb 3oz. I would love to do it all again. I was two weeks late, mum was told I was a lazy girl! Good luck.

I was induced at 12 days over, DS eventually born 14 days over. I wish I hadn’t been induced, I was made to feel like I didn’t have a choice. I believe he wasn’t ready at all, I felt like I was forcing him out. If I go over again I will be refusing induction.

And yep it ended up in an EMCS as so many other induced posters have said.

I personally wouldn't go past 42 weeks without being induced and don't think it's worth the extra risk.
First baby induced at 42 weeks, born 42+1 as I'd held off hoping for a birth centre birth. Placenta was grey and showing signs it was failing and baby classed as an SGA baby as born on 4th centile.
Second baby they wanted to book induction at 40weeks for 41+5 and I didn't want to wait that long due to previous issues. I was given an appointment to discuss with consultant as they were the only ones to approve earlier inductions, had a growth scan and baby had stopped growing. Consultant said I needed to be induced ASAP and baby born 40+6. There was a full knot in the cord.
I'm still slightly sad I'll never get my water birth but I'm so grateful for two healthy DCs and I'm glad I didn't leave them any longer. I would happily repeat both inductions, the second being the drip with only gas and air. I know ladies that have gone past 42 weeks with no issues but it's too much of a gamble IMO, there is a reason they don't want you going that late.

All my 4 inductions were fine. 2 were longer and needed ARM but all were unassisted deliveries no tears etc from the 7lber to the near 11lber and I'm teeny tiny in both height, hips and shore size for that matter.

I had 3 all go to 42 weeks by which stage I was fed up and accepted an induction!

I was induced at 8 days over due to reduced movements, it was hospital policy to wait 14 days though where everything was looking well. Getting daily monitoring will certainly help keep your baby safe.
I was induced by pessary, about 12 hours after it was inserted I got some twinges and 3.5hrs later DC1 was born. Not all inductions are dreadful, I look back on that birth with happiness.

Baby 1- term +14, was booked in for induction discussion that day but arrived in labour by myself before the appointment.

Baby 2- term +15, I went in to be induced at 14 days over and then was held on induction suite as delivery was full.

I chose my hospital based on their induction policy. I made it clear both times I wouldn’t entertain the idea of induction prior to this without problems with the baby and agreed to more regular monitoring to keep them happy. In France you’d be left alone for much longer.

If you have the induction drip to speed things up once you’ve got going, I’d highly recommend asking for an epidural before allowing the drip to go in. Natural birth is well out of the window at that point anyway.

I was induced 16 days over, she was only 5.9oz so that’s why I think she needed the extra 2 weeks.

My second came one week early and was 5.10, I’m very petite and was cut open left, right and centre for that, so glad she came early, almost like she knew she couldn’t get bigger as she wouldn’t come out! 😂

No update from OP. I wonder if she went into labour. If you're still reading OP I hope all is well.

I am the OP, I had to delete my account as people’s comments were really upsetting me. Which is a shame as most were absolutely lovely and reassuring.

First of all, at no point did I say it was strange the midwives would flag concerns, in fact I said I completely understood, I just didn’t understand why they spoke about induction so casually as if it was par for the course and carried absolutely zero risks.

I had a perfectly healthy girl at 17 days over, she was teeny 7lb and my placenta was absolutely fine. I had weighed up so many different things and done lots of research with my baby’s wellbeing at the forefront of my mind (the most upsetting bit was a lot of you thought you had my baby’s interest at heart more than I did). Thank you to everyone else for your well wishes and understanding, the emotional toll this takes on you can be really tough and it’s nice to know so many people are supportive and uplifting.

@PastelGiraffe

Just to add OP, by asking these questions you’re doing the right thing. I remember they looked like me like I was an idiot when I asked “why?” in response to being told they had booked me in for an induction at 10 days over. I asked why they would do that if my body is showing no signs of being ready and the stats showed that around 80-90% (can’t remember exact number now - this was 10 years ago) of inductions end in emergency section if performed when cervix is not favourable. Why would they commence a course of action likely to have this outcome? They just said “that’s what we do”. I found this frustrating and did my own research, weighed up the risks and decided against this approach and decided to wait a bit longer. Like another poster, I did eventually agree to an induction (I was having a giant baby so there was another concern) but two gels, three pessaries and 8 hours on a drip made no difference in the end - he wasn’t ready to come out and had to be evicted by section anyway. Have confidence in yourself and enjoy the last few days of your bump ❤️

Thank you so much. Exact same situation for me. My body was showing absolutely zero labour signs on my due week, in week 41 all the signs started coming and I started trusting my body more that it was on the right path. I had all the monitoring etc to make sure everything was ok. I was happy to take induction after 42 weeks but I think women give other women such a hard time for not getting an induction earlier when 85% of women go past their due dates thus proving that due dates are inaccurate the majority of the time. Currently going through that c section recovery I had not anticipated, I am sure you can relate!