Am I the most overdue women ever?

[Treem90]

I’m really struggling today. This is my first pregnancy and my due date was 8th October. Based on personal preference (I have absolutely no judgements on what other people have done or prefer to do, everyone should do what’s right for them) I would rather avoid induction and let the labour start naturally so I can start labour in a better headspace however I am now on my 13th day overdue. While the nurses and midwives have been lovely, I feel like I’m being treated like a ticking time bomb. They are very ominous when discussing the risks of being overdue past my due date (which I thought was an estimated guess) but will tell me to get my waters artificially broken and hormonal drips as if they’re offering me a cup of tea without at all discussing the risks or stages of those methods. My partner had asked two different nurses at different times the most overdue people they have seen and they get very nervous and say oh usually about 6 days maximum which makes me wonder why the whole hospital isn’t in staring at me like I’m some kind of circus freak as I’m on day 13.

I have a plan in place to be induced by pessary on Sunday when I’m 16 days overdue and waters broken on Monday at 17 days overdue. In the meantime I have been getting lots of monitoring and baby is fine. I thought my waters had broken last night and went to hospital today and turns out my cervix is still posterior so I just feel so disheartened. Please do not share any horror stories or warnings with me as I already feel very vulnerable and like a bit of an outcast. I just want to not feel like such an isolated case.

I understand why nurses and midwives don’t want to applaud decisions with risks but it confuses me that induction methods are flung at you with no info or details from your due date on as if they are totally fine. I am happy to get an induction when the time comes, I am not against it and understand it’s necessary for the baby to get here safely I just wish the whole overdue thing wasn’t so taboo.

Sorry for rambling, feeling very hormonal.

I was induced at 14 days overdue. Baby born 15 days overdue. I waited as long as recommended but couldn't personally have gone past their guidelines because I am a worrier. Being induced wasn't amazing but it wasn't terrible either. 10 days is the minimum overdue they induce round here. It's certainly not uncommon to be very overdue.

There is a group called ten month mamas on Facebook that you might find useful. It's not uncommon, to have a longer pregnancy, and anything up to 42 weeks is term so you aren't overdue yet.
You might also like this article
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/01/pregnant-for-10-months

You don't want horror stories. But the midwives are advising you on the safest way to bring your baby into the world. It's better for them if you go naturally so they really do have your best interests. You talk about risks of induction but there are real risks to being overdue too. I hope your baby arrives safely.

DS was 13 days overdue - I was induced and in the end he was born by EMCS. The placenta was dying off - the midwife showed us the patches where it was going. After seeing that, I was very glad I wasn't allowed to wait any longer before induction.

PS I desperately wanted a natural birth. I didn't get it. I cared for a bit, but I don't care any more. I have my lovely DS and that's what counts xx

14 days over with first and 4 weeks early with 2nd and 3rd.

Good luck op!

Wow posting on here has not made me feel better at all, I really wish I hadn’t said a thing

thanks to those with the reassuring comments, they were very much appreciated

Have you had monitoring of the placenta - I think it checks that there is still good blood flow there. Also monitoring of baby’s heart and movements.
I went to 14 days over with my second and tbh now I look back I’m a bit frightened by the risk I was taking with her. She did finally arrive naturally and completely healthy when I had gone in to hospital to say right that’s enough give me the induction.

DS was born 19 days overdue. He wasn’t overcooked and was born very healthy. My body was nowhere near ready to give birth until then and my consultant agreed it was not an unsafe decision to wait. I had additional monitoring and he was a very active kicker. I was 30 and very healthy. Would I make the same decision now, given the same circumstances? I’m not sure.

DS1 induced at 14 days over, born at 16 days over, distressed passed meconium.
DS2 induced at 12 days over, born within 8 hours, all ok.
DS3 induced at 11 days over and born within 90 minutes, all ok.

Have you had sweeps? I would definitely have a sweep (or three) if you haven't. My overdue babies all appeared a day after a successful sweep - totally normal, natural labour. Not quick and brutal like the drip.

I come from a family that gestates babies for a long time. Between me and my five sisters and my mum, we’ve got 22 children so far and not a single one has been an early spontaneous labour (couple of early inductions for twins / triplets). All standard vaginal labours with no complications.

My mum went 19 days over with me (38 years ago) and I went 14 days over with my fourth baby before they could find a space to induce me. Took about three hours and was the easiest out of all my labours. Was absolutely sick to death of being pregnant at that point and was glad of the nudge tbh.

I was 17 days overdue. I really wanted a natural birth. I didn't get one in the end but baby was fine. Hugs OP.

DS1 was 13 days overdue when I was induced. 16 days over by the time he actually came! Ended with an EMCS but I hope your induction goes smoothly if baby doesn't come on their own before then. Wishing you lots of luck

I gave birth without induction 14 days overdue. I was meant to have my induction that day but happened naturally. In my trust I think they start to induct at 13 days. They won't let you go past 2 weeks as standard unless you state otherwise. So your husband is very likely mistaken as the midwives will 100 % have seen women who are 13 days over. What they are likely nervous about/may have seen less of, Is that you're refusing intervention.
That is obviously your choice, but there is no taboo around being overdue. Just taboo around denying interventions which are in place to keep you and your baby safe.

I had my first 14 days late. It was extremely frustrating by the end. You have my sympathies!

Induction doesn't have to be awful, I had an outpatient induction at 14 days over and labour started within 6hours of pessary inserted, baby born 5 hours later.

Have you tried this calculator?

spacefem.com/pregnant/due.php?use=EDD&m=10&d=8&y=21

I'd also get rotating on a birthing ball at all hours of the day and night, along with very gentle bouncing. Baby putting pressure on the cervix can stimulate it to ripen- sitting on a birthing ball and gently rocking, rotating and bouncing should help.

Good luck!

My mother swears my sister's due date was Xmas day. She was born on February 02nd. She's fine, healthy etc. But that was 44 years ago now so very different times.

All my babies have come along naturally between 42weeks & 44 weeks.

Several MWs were incredibly unsupportive (& unprofessional) & one consultant was dreadful BUT I got to have proper evidence based respectful discussion with many others.

All the best to you & baby

17 days over. If you are in regular contact with your midwife etc you should be fine. If not contact them to say that you haven't given birth yet to remind them. I got lost in the system at 12 days over but it all was fine in the end.

my mum says I was 4 weeks overdue ...I sometimes wonder if she was trying to cover up something dodgy 🤔 🤣

Two of my children were born in the next year after the one in which they were due ( due December, born early January).

My firstborn was due on 1st and born on 19th. When I was 2 weeks overdue the hospital scanned me for a while and said baby was very happy where it was and leave it for another few days. I was induced on the morning of the 18th day overdue. He was born just before midnight so almost 19 days over.
The second one was 2 days early - was not expecting that!

Hey I’m sorry you are feeling so stressed about this. I can’t really help as my babies were both early/preemie but I did wonder if a new thread on pregnancy or somewhere talking specifically about what you are worried about with an induction might help more than this.

All I can say that is mildly reassuring is I had an induction with my oldest and it was fine although there are induction horror stories too; and that giving birth is always just so stressful and emotive and there are no right or wrong standard decisions (unless you’re a free birther in which case 🙄) but medical advice will always beer towards what’s safest for the majority I guess.

Good luck and I hope you’re soon enjoying meeting your little baby 💐