Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Abortion & the wave of light.

110 replies

Sheisfee · 15/10/2021 10:17

I'm curious to know if abortion is considered within the wave of light as it is for all baby loss? I know of a few people who grieve their abortions but I'm wondering if there is a space for them when we are remembering babies that have left us too soon? What are your thoughts?
❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
Sheisfee · 16/10/2021 01:28

@Throwback24
@Meh2020
@Scirocco
@Alonelonelylonersbadidea
You're all amazing and inspiring people, I really hope this post has helped others too. Abortion is such a taboo and can leave so many feeling alone in their pain. Im so glad to see some people change their mind about how they feel about women who have had abortions as for a percentage it is soul destroying and we are very alone in our grief. No one to call us brave, no shoulder to lean on - we are thought of as murderers and told we are awful humans. We feel this enough ourselves without people reinforcing such horrendous opinions, trust me. Women need to come together like this and support each other, I've never felt more accepted and loved so if anything, people on this thread have helped one person feel better and that's an incredible thing to achieve xx

OP posts:
NotMyCat · 16/10/2021 13:29

I have part of this tattooed on my back (it's a poem about abortion, and includes words about a cherry tree so I have cherry blossom tattooed as well). It really helped me through when I was struggling

Adding a trigger warning before anyone reads further

I am not ashamed. I am not ashamed. I am not ashamed.
It’s a hollowness, that feels full, a numbness that feels heavy.
stop trying to fit how this feels on an NHS bereavement brochure already.
I am allowed to feel it all, I am allowed to feel.
I am woman now, I am made of steel
^
I would have made sure I was a good mother to look up to.^
But I would have supported her right to choose.
To choose a life for herself, a path for herself.
I would have died for that right, just like she died for mine.

HerRoyalWitchyness · 16/10/2021 13:52

^I am allowed to feel it all, I am allowed to feel.
I am woman now, I am made of steel^

I love these lines in particular. They sum it up very nicely I think.

NotMyCat · 16/10/2021 14:03

@HerRoyalWitchyness

^I am allowed to feel it all, I am allowed to feel. I am woman now, I am made of steel^

I love these lines in particular. They sum it up very nicely I think.

I have - I am woman now, I am made of steel tattooed on me Smile
Original poster
Sheisfee · 16/10/2021 22:03

@NotMyCat

I have part of this tattooed on my back (it's a poem about abortion, and includes words about a cherry tree so I have cherry blossom tattooed as well). It really helped me through when I was struggling

Adding a trigger warning before anyone reads further

I am not ashamed. I am not ashamed. I am not ashamed.
It’s a hollowness, that feels full, a numbness that feels heavy.
stop trying to fit how this feels on an NHS bereavement brochure already.
I am allowed to feel it all, I am allowed to feel.
I am woman now, I am made of steel
^
I would have made sure I was a good mother to look up to.^
But I would have supported her right to choose.
To choose a life for herself, a path for herself.
I would have died for that right, just like she died for mine.

Wow, I just found the woman who wrote the poem and watched her perform it. Absolutely broke me - there needs to be more done about the taboo of abortion. The grief we feel is the least accepted form of grief out there and there are so many of us.
OP posts:
NotMyCat · 16/10/2021 22:09

@Sheisfee there should be
I desperately want a child, but I'm single and can't afford one. Surely the responsible thing for me to do is to terminate if my contraception fails rather than have a child that I can't provide for?
It's interesting that all the pro life people vanish after the baby is born, they aren't then offering financial and emotional help

Original poster
Sheisfee · 17/10/2021 18:42

[quote NotMyCat]@Sheisfee there should be
I desperately want a child, but I'm single and can't afford one. Surely the responsible thing for me to do is to terminate if my contraception fails rather than have a child that I can't provide for?
It's interesting that all the pro life people vanish after the baby is born, they aren't then offering financial and emotional help[/quote]
People do not take into account the complexities of decision making behind an abortion. Society tells people that it's bad and then society says it is... no further research needed. It's eye opening to see how many women on this post have changed their views on women who have had abortions. So many women lonely in their grief because people don't open their eyes to the reality.

It should be our choice, it's our body but that absolutely does not mean it won't break part of us for the rest of our lives.

OP posts:
BlueFlavour · 17/10/2021 18:46

@goinggently

I will be thinking of all mothers and their babies when I light my candle tonight, no exceptions x
I wanted to thank you so much for saying this @goinggently Flowers
goinggently · 18/10/2021 10:46

@BlueFlavour Flowers

jazmine38 · 19/01/2022 19:03

It should be our choice, it's our body but that absolutely does not mean it won't break part of us for the rest of our lives.
This. Thank you @Sheisfee

New posts on this thread. Refresh page