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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Is 48 too old to get pregnant naturally?

102 replies

FatyCat · 27/09/2021 14:09

Hi all I am 48 years old and have been trying to get pregnant for the last 5 years. I have had 2 miscarriages. I am regular and ovulating. My hubby is 50 years and we have 2 girls 18 and 16. Is it too late for me? My hubby does not want to get checked as he thinks we are too old but deep down I know he would love another child but does not want to go down the ivf route.The GP has checked my bloods and says I have not reached menopause yet but my AML levels are high for my age (got checked privately). He said if my hubby's count is low nothing much can be done.

OP posts:
dutchessmom · 28/09/2021 10:02

I think the best option is ivf -it was very hard to listen to and to accept it-. But from what I understand you need to firstly have a discussion with your hubby and make sure you're in the same page.

MrsSkylerWhite · 28/09/2021 10:05

Wondering what you would think if you expressed the feeling that you were too old but your husband insisted he knew that “deep down” you really would love another baby?

Practicalities aside, you need to be in absolute agreement.

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 28/09/2021 10:19

Have a look at It Starts With the Egg if you haven't already. Lots of great advice for things to do and take to really improve egg and sperm quality

campion · 28/09/2021 10:23

Your husband thinks you're both too old and doesn't want to do anything about it and yet you seem to think 'deep down' he thinks the opposite.

I'd listen to what he's actually telling you. If he's not on board now, he certainly won't be when a demanding baby appears on the scene.

Facing the end of your fertile years can be a bit sad but it's life and there are other ways to find fulfillment.

timeisnotaline · 28/09/2021 10:25

It is very old fertility wise op to be blunt. If you did get pregnant, the egg and sperm would have to create a viable foetus, which is another level of challenge. And even a viable foetus (or twins, a much higher risk) is much higher risk for all the usual conditions. Just downs Syndrome alone the likelihood is probably more than 1/100, are you prepared for a child who might need extra support and care? www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/downsyndrome/data.html

minipie · 28/09/2021 10:29

There is apparently a surge of broodiness that comes around or just before the menopause (sort of your body saying quick last chance!!), I wonder if that may be a factor here? Or empty nest syndrome?

tiggerwhocamefortea · 28/09/2021 13:21

@dutchessmom

I think the best option is ivf -it was very hard to listen to and to accept it-. But from what I understand you need to firstly have a discussion with your hubby and make sure you're in the same page.

Most clinics won't treat women over 43 using their own eggs

IVF over age 43 has around 2-3% success rate

bbc73 · 29/11/2021 00:55

I was naturally pregnant at 46 and 47 both conceived pretty easy but I miscarried both pregnancies at about 8 weeks. I do have regular cycles. I had the first pregnancy at age 46. I used DHEA for a few months before conception before the first pregnancy. The reason of both miscarriages is told to be chromosomal abnormalities due to my age, but they did not make this comment based on any test or anything such it was just a generalization because I am too old. In the meantime.

MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 29/11/2021 01:00

I think you need to stop mourning the small children who are entering adulthood and enjoy what you have.

Having a child at 48 is plain selfish. The reality is they aren't going to get you being their mum for very long.

Isthisthereaklife · 29/11/2021 01:04

Gosh op I was honestly wondering the same myself and I am also 48..

I’ve been contraceptive free for two years and also nothing (

Its hard to let go of it isn’t it xx

Rangoon · 29/11/2021 01:51

Well at your age there is a risk of 1 in 14 for Down Syndrome. Is there some specifc reason why you want another child? I would have liked another child but my husband didn't and did point out that he and I were getting on a bit and we'd be pushing our luck. Logically, I know he was right but I'll always have some slight regret. The idea of starting again at 48 though would just fill me with horror as I remember how tired I was at 37.

PyongyangKipperbang · 29/11/2021 02:41

Not for a couple who are both in their peak fertility wise, I know a couple who had surpise twins conceived when she was 47 and he was 52, but as you have been trying for 5 years and it hasnt happened I would say that it is too old for you.

Your best bet is to come to peace that its not going to happen rather than trying to convince yourself it might and that your husband would be over the moon if it did (clue: he wont)

Sorry

AlwaysLatte · 29/11/2021 02:51

Puppy!

Isthisthereaklife · 30/11/2021 20:45

I just read about ananda Bryam having a baby at 48. Same as Nicole Appleton - how?

And why do they keep it secret then do a shock announcement ?

Fallagain · 30/11/2021 20:54

If you get pregnant now, then you will be 49 and DH will be 51 when the baby is born. By the time the child is 18 you would be 67 and DH 69. Average male life expectancy is 79, and female is 82 but most people are in poor health before this. I wouldn’t want my child to be dealing with this as a very young adult.

Fallagain · 30/11/2021 20:54

@Isthisthereaklife

I just read about ananda Bryam having a baby at 48. Same as Nicole Appleton - how?

And why do they keep it secret then do a shock announcement ?

Surrogacy probably.
Isthisthereaklife · 30/11/2021 21:16

@Fallagain

If you get pregnant now, then you will be 49 and DH will be 51 when the baby is born. By the time the child is 18 you would be 67 and DH 69. Average male life expectancy is 79, and female is 82 but most people are in poor health before this. I wouldn’t want my child to be dealing with this as a very young adult.
I don’t think that’s such a big deal tbh

People are living longer and healthier lives. And for example me and my partner both have older children (6 between us) who would be there for their younger siblings

JSL52 · 30/11/2021 21:31

@Isthisthereaklife

I just read about ananda Bryam having a baby at 48. Same as Nicole Appleton - how?

And why do they keep it secret then do a shock announcement ?

IVF
PyongyangKipperbang · 30/11/2021 21:55

People are living longer and healthier lives. And for example me and my partner both have older children (6 between us) who would be there for their younger siblings

Or perhaps "we both have older children who we very much assume will be there for their younger siblings despite them having no obligation to do so and having had no choice in the younger siblings existing"

Isthisthereaklife · 30/11/2021 22:01

@PyongyangKipperbang

People are living longer and healthier lives. And for example me and my partner both have older children (6 between us) who would be there for their younger siblings

Or perhaps "we both have older children who we very much assume will be there for their younger siblings despite them having no obligation to do so and having had no choice in the younger siblings existing"

I have a 10 year age gap between my eldest and youngest chilldrren and my older children (young adults ) are hugely protective towards the much younger child. Depend on what your kids are like obv but mine are great with their v younger siblings
ufucoffee · 30/11/2021 22:05

@Fallagain

If you get pregnant now, then you will be 49 and DH will be 51 when the baby is born. By the time the child is 18 you would be 67 and DH 69. Average male life expectancy is 79, and female is 82 but most people are in poor health before this. I wouldn’t want my child to be dealing with this as a very young adult.
I agree. Give up OP.
Sakura7 · 30/11/2021 22:07

I don’t think that’s such a big deal tbh

As the child of older parents, who spent my 20s caring for a father with dementia, I massively disagree.

OP enjoy the children you have. Trying to get pregnant at 48 is frankly crazy and you wouldn't be doing it with the child's best interests at heart.

Viviennemary · 30/11/2021 22:08

Sadly its very very unlikely. And the risks of complications, miscarriage and abnormalities is very high.

onreeooh · 30/11/2021 22:11

For those saying it's not too old- I'm afraid it is, naturally and socially

At some point, this needs to be accepted. Nearly 50? Life expectancy or not, it's not a good idea, and likely won't happen without serious intervention

DirectionToPerfection · 30/11/2021 22:18

@MobyDicksTinyCanoe

I think you need to stop mourning the small children who are entering adulthood and enjoy what you have.

Having a child at 48 is plain selfish. The reality is they aren't going to get you being their mum for very long.

This 100%.

I'm sorry OP but you need to let it go. You already have children so I don't understand where this is coming from, unless it's just hormones overruling common sense.

Even if it was possible, and even if the child were healthy, it's not fair to them.