Anyone else not bothering with antenatal classes?

[3Namechange3]

I am 30 weeks and haven't attended any NCT or NHS antenatal classes.

I had no desire to go to NCT as I hate the idea of natural birth, breastfeeding and attachment parenting being rammed down my throat and I don't really have any desire to make friends with people simply because we conceived at the same time.

At my last midwife appointment my midwife was pushing the idea that I should at least attend the NHS ones, but they are online, so I don't see what they will tell me about birth that I can't read about instead. I work full time and am finding it stressful enough to get to all the midwife appointments and scans and can't be bothered with yet another pregnancy related thing that I have to attend.

Feeling like a bit of a minority, but I would be interested to hear if anyone else is opting out.

I'm on my third pregnancy and never been to a single antenatal class. With my first I did consider them but I just couldn't imagine paying attention to anything in them. I would much rather read and research myself.

I'm currently 24 weeks with baby 2 and I didn't do any antenatal classes. They are unnecessary IMO. I have a wonderful toddler and learnt as I went like most x

The actual classes don’t give you anything you can’t find online (and in my case my birth plan was utterly pointless as my labour panned out differently to what I expected). But the group help a lot in the early days when you are feeding through the night and want someone to text with random questions. So whilst I understand you don’t necessarily need more friends, a way to form a bit of a network might be more useful than you think (this doesn’t have to be through antenatal classes).

You don't need it, I found it helpful with my first but I was interested in birth info, breastfeeding info and meeting people - which it sounds like you're not!

I didn't do NCT, but did do a private antenatal group. There wasn't much I learnt from the class that I hadn't already heard/read about but we did make a WhatsApp group. Obviously it was all very quiet until babies started arriving, and then it was just nice to have people in a similar position to chat to or say something "out loud" and have people agree or offer help.
Not everyone did the same, when it came to labour, birth, feeding or parenting styles, but it was just nice to have people to hear you out.
Our babies were all around 3 months old when the first lockdown happened too so again, the support during that time was great

Definitely useful in my first pregnancy. I went to the NHS ones.

Yes you can find info on google but you can't ask another human being questions without interaction.

I wanted to know more about different birthing options, pain relief, breastfeeding, facilities in the hospital. I also got to meet my HV and find out about baby groups in the local area.

Nothing was rammed down my throat.

@MajorCarolDanvers . In theory, I would have been somewhat more open to the NHS classes, as they seem to be more basic/informative and less preachy than NCT.
However, the NHS ones are still online due to Covid, so I wouldn't get to properly meet the HV or ask in person questions. I don't see the point in being stuck in an awkward Teams meeting.

I feel the same OP. I’ve heard that the NCT ones are great for making local friends who are expecting around the same time, but that does not appeal to me one bit. I’d rather make “mum friends” when baby’s here and we’re going to baby classes. I may see about NHS ones perhaps but I do enough online meetings in work so it doesn’t greatly appeal if they’re not F2F (I’m a FTM but still have no desire to do them 🙈)

I have 2 kids and never attended any classes for similar reasons to yourself plus I was a teenager and CBA with the judgemental questions/looks...

I'd rather talk things through with my midwife in person at an appointment than with a group of people and later on I made friends at groups.

I'm debating this myself. Online ones just seem totally pointless and I don't have the money to pay for private in person ones.

I attended one with my first. There was one particular lady who made herself known to everyone, wanging on about how amazing her birth was etc etc. Just felt like an excuse for her to show off to the rest of us other mothers who were like a rabbit in headlights. Safe to say I didn't go back 😁

I attended an antenatal class with my husband but it was more for his benefit than mine. I didn't learn anything I couldn't have read in a book.

Just to say, I did an NCT course and nothing was rammed down my throat, they talked us through good techniques for bottle feeding, breast feeding, talked about pain relief and staged a mock up c section as in how many medical people to expect in there and the process.

It was nice to be able to message people in the same.situation particularly nearing the end of pregnancy and also in the early days of being a first time mum and having someone that you could speak to over text at stupid o'clock in the morning. You can get that by going to Mother and Baby groups though, I am quite shy with new people so NCT and being forced into befriending a group of people helped me. Not everyone's cup of tea though :)

I suppose I also really don't get the apparent need for WhatsApp support groups of people with newborns the same age.
If I feel like I need a second opinion on anything then I would either ask my own parents, existing friends who already have kids, or write an anonymous post on MN. I don't want to be comparing notes or venting with people who I have just met.
I also can't think of anything worse than a friendship that only revolves around talking about babies. If I happen to meet a parent with a similar aged DC later on, at nursery for example, who has common non-child related interests to me, then great. However, meetups where the focal point is to discuss and compare baby milestones are my idea of hell.

That was my exact experience @3Namechange3 was awful. Thank god I’ve decided to leave the group. It was utter torture having people force down your throat their perfect parenting antics.. the classes themselves were nothing short of unrealistic and useless!

Nope!
I don’t like group things with people I don’t know at the best of times 🤣

Never did them. Had no interest in making friends, having biased information etc, also they were always on at a weekend and I worked full time. Not for me!

I did NCT. I didn't find it preachy at all. Our teacher was great and talked through natural birth obvs but also though c sections and recover from those. I don't know if that's because we had 2 women in our group who were having planned sections.

Breastfeeding was talked about and not formula, but I think they have changed their stance on that now.

I did find it helpful to know about the post baby NCT groups running. Their bumps and babies group was a god send for me and I actually ended up running it.

I didn't know any other local mums and having those other women to hang out with was awesome. We are still friends now and I will hang out with one without the kids as well.

When I had my second I didn't do NCT and I did meet some other local mums with similar aged kids through the NCT bumps group. Again we still hang out now the kids are older. I was the only one in that group with 2.

I wouldn't write off the NCT completely and do look at their post natal offering in your area

The NCT classes around me were very middle-upper class so I didn't do them. I did get a tour of the maternity wing before giving birth so it was all foreign to me but I guess they aren't doing that. Otherwise there will hopefully be someone else in the room who has done this before and afterwards you can always find friends via Facebook etc if you don't go back to work

I never went I was a single so I didn’t fancy going alone and people feeling sorry for me

@didireallysaythat

The NCT classes around me were very middle-upper class so I didn't do them. I did get a tour of the maternity wing before giving birth so it was all foreign to me but I guess they aren't doing that. Otherwise there will hopefully be someone else in the room who has done this before and afterwards you can always find friends via Facebook etc if you don't go back to work

They are exceptionally middle class!

I went to one class in my first pregnancy, with great difficulty as I had HG. The subject came up and I explained to the course leader that I had been hospitalized for it, on a drip, etc. And in response she asked me if I had tried eating a gingernut biscuit. I didn't bother going back.

I had three kids and never did a class. My midwife and consultant answered most questions about birth and I never really had a birth plan as I knew early I’d have to be induced by 38 weeks due to medical conditions. A whatsapp group would have been awful for me when mine were babies, would have not helped my anxiety at all! Do whatever you want and need to do, it’s your baby, your birth, do it your way.

I went to the NHS classes. They were useful in getting the midwives perspective on things. So rather than in a book where there might be an idealised view of things, they actually said what to really expect in an NHS hospital. Also what was specific to their hospital eg they have x number of rooms where you can have a water birth but they fill up quickly so you might not get one type thing.

There was no attempts to make friends or form WhatsApp groups etc which was fine with me!

We did NCT classes which we found really useful. Our 'teacher' asked us if there was anything we particularly wanted to know so that she could include it along with what she already had planned. It was great to make friends with the others there and 4 years on we're still all in contact, meeting up and celebrating each others achievements. We don't just talk about our children, and we've managed childless meet ups too! I did have other friends with kids but how likely were they to be awake at 3am to help me or chat to me.... They obviously wouldn't be! I found it much better having people around me going through the same thing because all I got from everyone else was 'yeah it's hard but it gets easier' type comments... Not helpful when you're pulling your hair out because you've had an hours sleep in 2 days! I guess baby groups are another good way to meet friends, I never made any that way though as I was either half asleep trying to battle a baby or everyone else was too focused doing the same. I didn't enjoy baby groups for this reason so gave up with them 😔