Pregnant after third miscarriage...

[HeyyyItsMe]

Hey everyone! I've just found out I'm pregnant after 3 consecutive miscarriages. We recently found out as well that the 3rd miscarriage was actually a partial molar, so I'm quite nervous about that happening again....I guess I'm just looking for positive stories to try and keep me looking on the bright side! When I'm making plans for a few months, I keep thinking, it won't matter I probably won't be pregnant anymore anyway.

Praying this is the one! I'm also on progesterone pesseries this time around, despite knowing that it's unlikely they will do anything! I had the usual round of testing too which came back normal....which is good I guess, just wish there was a reason!

Anyway feel free to join and and chat and we can support each other! 🌈🌈🤞

@DeadPapaToothwort I wish I could go to sleep and wake up at 20 weeks with no worries! I wonder if I ever will be able to relax and enjoy pregnancy because of the losses.

@Sunny56 me too! Every little thing, every twinge and twitch sends me into full on anxiety. I’ve had backache all week which is so so worrying. I’m feeling really flat and worried tonight, nothing in particular has happened or changed, I’m just scared.

@DeadPapaToothwort oh the backache, I had horrible lower backache all day Wednesday and then I had more discharge on Thursday and now I think it links together and now worried if I get the backache I can get more discharge too, I'm just so obsessed with all the pains and cramps and twinges :(

@Sunny56 very best of luck. I’ve got everything crossed for a good outcome for you

@DeadPapaToothwort Good luck to you too, we all deserve this more than anything. X

Fingers crossed for you all ladies, wishing you all the best ❤ It's hard as there's never a guarantee and I am still worried now. After 3 consecutive MCs I am 35+2 weeks now and also very much ready for him to come out, just want to get this done now. It's not an easy ride at all and whilst it gets easier in time, sometimes it still hits you when you don't expect it. The worry never really goes away with such history. The only way is to go through it IMO is to go from one milestone to another and try not to think too far ahead as it can easily get overwhelming. All the very best to you all xxx

It's an awful club to be part of but I have had success after 3 miscarriages in 9 months.
My first child was born at 33 weeks and was nearly lost due to pre eclampsia complications but somehow survived and is a bubbly 5 year old. However we lost his 3 younger siblings in a very short amount of time. Then I fell pregnant again while still very raw and deeply grieving for our angels. I was convinced that baby 5 would die too but I was wrong. It was a difficult pregnancy and he was born at 36 weeks but was very sick and needed surgery after nearly dieing at 3 weeks old.
He survived and is nearly 1 now.
What my 5 pregnancies have taught me is that anything is possible and I'll always be a mother of 5.
I hope all goes well for all of you, from one bereaved mother to another

@PurplePansy05 @Mammyofasuperbaby thank you both so much, very comforting words

@Sunny56 I'm praying that things are okay for you, I know you'll be filled with anxiety at the moment 🤞🤞🌻.

Thank you @Mammyofasuperbaby and @PurplePansy05 for your words of reassurance. It does always seem that after 3 there is no hope, but your words fill me with some. I worry that we have a genetic issue or something that was mentioned to me called balanced translocation, but in the UK they don't test for genetic faults unless there's a serious medical reason to - development never seems to make it past 5.5 weeks, but who knows. Just have the anxious wait until the 22nd 🤞. Did they ever test and find any reason for your mcs?

@HeyyyItsMe Lovely, I had a very thorough conversation with my consultant about this. It affects 2% of all couples suffering from recurrent MC (and as you probably know 1% of all couples suffer from it). So the chances are very low to begin with. Indeed if this is the reason, the pregnancy has about a 50/50 chance - either it may be lost or the baby may inherit the same translocation and live a normal life (although recurrent MC issues may run in the family for your child as they grow up too) or they won't inherit at all and be perfectly fine. Karyotype testing identifies this issue and you can request a referral to a geneticist for you and your OH to be tested. However, there is no cure for this, so if identified the only knowledge it gives you is that you are more prone to further MCs. People with translocation try and mostly end up having healthy babies, albeit often after multiple heartbreaks. It is very sad, but there is a huge chance things will work out even with this condition so never ever focus your thoughts on that and let yourself worry too much. Another alternative is IVF with PGD which whilst expensive, allows a way around the genetic issue. Of course any pregnancy may be miscarried for a different reason, but you get certainty it will not be due to the diagnosed translocation.

I hope this helps you, one thing I would say for definite is do not worry about this now, it is a very rare occurrence and even so, your chances remain very good and there are options. I am speaking from experience as someone who has worried herself in this pregnancy over this particular issue to death for various reasons (long story) and it's only when I had a very thorough discussion with my consultant I understand what it actually means to RMC patients like us. Take care. xx

Thanks for the well wishes guys. I feel like I don’t react the way I should after a miscarriage now. Almost like I’m used to it 🙈 of course I’m sad, but I just feel more determined to try again

@HeyyyItsMe I am still waiting for results of my last miscarriage in April, I spoke to the hospital last week but nothing has come back yet. Without going TMI, I didn’t get any normal tissue with this one as I have with my 2 x MMC. I was 6 weeks exactly when my pregnancy test turned to a faint positive, whereas before I’ve been 7-9 weeks so maybe that’s why I couldn’t find much tissue to collect

Hope your next scan goes well & good luck to the rest of you ladies on this post xx

Hey Ladies, hope you don’t mind me joining, I think I’m hoping for reassurance and it’s helpful to see others in exactly the same boat, as horrible as this boat is…

I’m currently 8-9 weeks pg with my fourth pregnancy. The other three were all mmc, they stopped growing at 7 1/2 weeks.
I had a scan 2 weeks ago which put me at 6+4 with a heartbeat (saw those before) and have a follow-up scan on Thursday to see how this one’s going. I’m on progesterone pessaries and took myself off for acupuncture. (this is def my last try as I can’t go through the heartbreak again, so want to be able to say I tried everything I could possibly think of!!)

I’ve been mostly fine up to now, but nerves are kicking in with the scan in just 3 days. Like one of you ladies said, I just want to sleep until I know it’s safe and not have to worry all the time!!!

How are you all getting on??

My nerves are shot to pieces. I’m 5+2 and I can’t bear the wait to be scanned a week today. I’m just steeling myself for a negative outcome. Sorry to be so downbeat, I’m having a wobble today.

I totally get that, I suppose I know it happens - sometimes the 4th one's the charm....

I was out with a friend, who knows about the 3 MC and the current pg, for a walk the other day and she asked if I was still running ( I was training for a marathon until 4 weeks ago ). I said "no, not at all" and her reply was "you know you can" she then went on to ask about morning sickness and tell me all about hers and how long it went on for and that hopefully mine would pass "in a few weeks". When she asked, I explained how bloated I feel and my friend's reply was "already? You've got a long way to go!"

All I could think was "why did I even tell her about this one?!" and I wanted to scream at her "quite clearly our experiences of pregnancy are very different - I don't know if I have a long way to go, or if this will be it on Thursday, but thanks for your support"

@TJ876 that sounds stressful! Nobody knows other than DH and I’m very happy to keep it that way for as long as this one lasts or fingers crossed until it’s impossible.

@DeadPapaToothwort I hadn't planned on telling anyone but I've told two friends - one girl who is super supportive, having had her own fertility difficulties; I was training for the marathon with her so felt I owed it to her to know the real reason why I wasn't running and that she might potentially be running the marathon on her own, and the other I was meant to have drinks with and she didn't buy my "the marathon training's ramped up so I'm off the drink at the mo" ... and then she insists on asking questions past my "yeah, all good for now thx" .. talk about not taking a hint

Are you still at work at the mo DPT?

Congratulations and good luck everyone . I was in the same position this time last year after 3 mc, 2 of them were mmc and now have a nearly 6 month old asleep in the pram. I didn't get the redcurrant miscarriage testing as I had my appointment cancelled due to COVID. We were trying to work out what to do when I found I was pregnant again. This time I took 150 mg aspirin religiously so for me, I do think that made the difference. The midwife got me an appointment with a consultant because of the aspirin around 20 weeks and he just kept saying the official NHS guidelines are only to take it if you've been diagnosed with the blood clotting disorder but I never had a chance to even get tested (he acknowledged that but just kept repeating "the NHS guidelines say. "). Also I've heard some people have a clotting issue only while pregnant so it never shows up on the tests. I kept taking the aspirin up to 37 weeks. My midwife was cautiously supportive as she totally understood why I was taking it.

Thanks @PurplePansy05, it's good to get some perspective. Sometimes I just let my thoughts rub wild! Yeh I did some research on it and I know there's still a good chance, but it would just be nice to know! It's just hard not to try and justify every miscarriage and I'll be forever wondering why the first two happened since I didn't get testing until the third. Praying it's 4th time lucky..

@TJ876 I'm in a similar position to you! It's extremely nerve wracking, I can't help but think I'm just waiting for the inevitable too. It is an awful experience isn't it? People don't truely understand until you've experienced it. I've had it all too, "at least you can get pregnant!" "You're time will come." 🤦🏻‍♀️🙈

@TJ876 I am working, luckily I work from home!

@Starlight39 that’s reassuring! I’m taking 150mg of aspirin, along with loads of other stuff, so I’m delighted to hear it worked for you.

@HeyyyItsMe You don't need to explain, I know the feeling all to well. The sad truth is that each MC could have happened for a different reason, this is what makes it so very difficult too as there isn't all that much that can be done to avoid them. You can of course address a diagnosed issue, but that wouldn't prevent it from happening for a completely different reason anyway and it's difficult to digest on that. It's that feeling of helplessness and lack of control, I've been there and know it and it's awful. I had to tell myself to let go a bit and of course it didn't work entirely, but it has helped me get through every single day of TTC and this pregnancy. What I would also tell you is that sometimes not knowing may be a blessing - and I say that as a person who researches thoroughly and generally believes knowledge is power. It is, however when it comes to karyotype, don't forget you'd have to have amniocentesis to be certain that the baby doesn't have the translocation if you or your OH were carriers. How would this make you feel and would you be prepared to take the risks as an RMC patient? Everyone is different - I personally would not have amnio for that reason, but knowing about being a carrier would put a huge mental strain on me. You then go into the territory of having to tell your child they need to be tested too and I felt this is quite a heavy burden. Perhaps they wouldn't want to know about any of that, why should I put them through it. Everyone is different of course, and it's not a black or white decision. I am just flagging up that there are some deeper and complex considerations that come with knowing it a lot, IYSWIM. Sometimes it might be about striking the right balance between the risk of having a condition and worrying about it/testing. xx

Miscarriage number 4 confirmed today 😭

@Sunny56 I’m so sorry my lovely. Take care

@Sunny56 so sorry to see that 😭 my inbox is open if you want to chat. 4 is just so cruel isn’t it. 💔 sending love xx

I feel like someone is just having a laugh up there - years of infertility and when you think 'this might actually be our time' it shutters to pieces. Like what am I meant to do? I've nearly exhausted all tests and procedures