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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone else has 0 desire to find out the gender before?

102 replies

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 19:39

I've noticed basically all of my friends who've had babies have found out the gender before. For me this would be like opening my presents before Christmas. On the day you get to enjoy the presents, but there's no element of surprise! I honestly have no desire at all to find out the gender as, apart from weight and appearance, it's the only real distinguishing factor about a newborn, and so if I know that there's nothing left to intrigue me. It's funny because generally in life I am quite nosey and impatient, but I've always been 100% sure this is one area of life I'd rather keep a surprise.

Anyone else feel the same way?

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DiscontentedWoman · 30/06/2021 19:41

I had no interest in finding out in either of my pregnancies. Much nicer to wait until the birth

Amigobay · 30/06/2021 19:43

I didn’t want to know before I gave birth and it was an amazing surprise- but other people seemed to think that was really odd? Lots of people saying I must’ve found out and was lying or keeping it secret?! Or asking how I could possibly buy clothes without knowing? So strange!

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 19:43

@DiscontentedWoman

I had no interest in finding out in either of my pregnancies. Much nicer to wait until the birth

Yeah :) also, without wanting to sound puritanical, somehow it feels more like the way God intended it!

OP posts:

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 19:45

@Amigobay

Hahaha yes it's such an odd thing! For many of my friends they didn't even think twice about finding out the gender.

Plus, if you buy unisex newborn clothes, you can reuse them for all your babies!

OP posts:

Loudestcat14 · 30/06/2021 19:45

We absolutely didn't want to know – it's one of the few genuine surprises in life. I was convinced we were having a boy so it was quite a shock when our girl popped out!

Palavah · 30/06/2021 19:45

I was told birth is easier if you don't know. No idea if that's true. I've no need to know - it's only one aspect of the person they will grow to be, so how would it help me?

SummerHouse · 30/06/2021 19:46

I had people imply I was lying!! I had not inclination to find out till they were born and it was amazing to find out that way.

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 19:46

@Loudestcat14

We absolutely didn't want to know – it's one of the few genuine surprises in life. I was convinced we were having a boy so it was quite a shock when our girl popped out!

exactlyyy

OP posts:

Haiyaa · 30/06/2021 19:48

I didn’t with my first and won’t with this one. I enjoy the speculation and the extra “reward” at the end of pregnancy but at the same time I don’t have a problem with people who want to find out sooner. Everyone has their own preference and that’s fine, doesn’t mean they are getting any less of a surprise than me, they just find out a few months sooner.

romdowa · 30/06/2021 19:50

I'm 21 weeks and I've no intentions of finding out the sex until its born. Several people have accused me of lying when I say I don't know. Even if I did know , it's not really their business🙄

moofolk · 30/06/2021 19:51

I had no desire to find out the sex of any of mine.

30degreesandmeltinghere · 30/06/2021 19:51

With my older dc finding out wasn't an option.. The younger ones I did want to know. Ime it made the acceptance of new sibling a lot easier... It wasn't just A Baby arriving it was Our Bobby or Our Bonnie...
*names changed to protect the innocent!!
The dc had images of them playing with the new baby bro /sis not just a faceless baby!!
Imo anyway!!

drpet49 · 30/06/2021 19:52

* We absolutely didn't want to know – it's one of the few genuine surprises in life.*

^Completely agree with this

sociallydistained · 30/06/2021 19:52

I don’t want to find out either. I think my partner was shocked but I’ve said we’re not finding out the gender, I’ve always thought that.

potatoocity · 30/06/2021 19:54

I didn't want to but it was unmistakeable (boy) on 12w scan.

Thought might as well confirm at 20weeks.

TDogsInHats · 30/06/2021 19:54

I didn't want to know the sex of my babies before they were born, they were all wonderful surprises.
(It's sex, not gender by the way OP)

NiceGerbil · 30/06/2021 19:55

I didn't find out the sex of either of mine.

DH and I wanted a surprise.

I had trouble with the scan woman insisting writing it down on a bit of paper in case we changed our minds , too tempting I binned it outside!

And when I was induced with DD1 one asked what it was I said getting surprise. She looked at heartbeat monitor and said it's definitely a boy.

FFS! I had been waiting for my surprise patiently and was 42+2!!! What s bizarre and horrible thing to do. My face fell I'm sure and she looked very happy. She was wrong but that's not the point!

Cathie102 · 30/06/2021 19:56

I’m currently 28 weeks and we decided not to find out. I will say that sometimes I do wish I knew!! But just when I see a cute girls or boys outfit and think “could I get you that”. Not knowing is saving me a fortune!

Metallicalover · 30/06/2021 19:57

Nah it never occurred for me to find out. I don't get these 'gender reveal' things either. I don't really care if people are having a boy or girl. You wouldn't go yay it's a girl and then boo if it's a boy and vice versa! Either way I'll go yay! I'm more YAY to the mother and baby being healthy! And when baby arrives that they're both doing well!

InTheNightWeWillWish · 30/06/2021 19:58

We don’t plan on finding out and we keep being asked if we’re sure. People keep asking me how I’ll plan, which I don’t understand as even if we did know the sex prams and car seats are likely to be whichever colour will be less likely to show mud. Then it’ll just be a case of buying a handful of baby grows until you know what size they are.

However, we are struggling for a boy name but if it is a boy I imagine the time pressure might be good for us then we have to decide on a name.

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 19:58

@Cathie102

Hahaha good point. I was in Next today and saw some adorable dresses... My wallet will thank me

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 30/06/2021 19:59

I think if you're sure that you don't want to know then enjoy your choice and your conviction. There is no merit or grace in denigrating another person's choice. There is no better way than the one that is right for you.

There are as many pros to finding out as to waiting.

Dyra · 30/06/2021 20:00

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't very tempted at the 20+ week scans to find out, but as with others I feel it really is one of the true pleasant surprises in life, so I waited. If I ever have any more, I won't find out again.

All my family and colleagues thought I was mad for not finding out.

Granohlaa · 30/06/2021 20:00

I really didn’t want to know. It just feels wrong to me somehow.

IsItSafeToBeOptimisticYet · 30/06/2021 20:01

I didn't with any of mine but had inklings with my last two from their heartbeats.
In my first labour I had issues and didn't get anything I wanted except for Dh telling me what we had had. We carried that on with the other two and it was a lovely moment every time.

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