Anyone else has 0 desire to find out the gender before?

[Serenissima123]

I've noticed basically all of my friends who've had babies have found out the gender before. For me this would be like opening my presents before Christmas. On the day you get to enjoy the presents, but there's no element of surprise! I honestly have no desire at all to find out the gender as, apart from weight and appearance, it's the only real distinguishing factor about a newborn, and so if I know that there's nothing left to intrigue me. It's funny because generally in life I am quite nosey and impatient, but I've always been 100% sure this is one area of life I'd rather keep a surprise.

Anyone else feel the same way?

didn't know & didn't want to know with first 4

then I had a MC so with next pg I wanted to know everything I could so we did find out the sex

with DC6 I wanted to find out again, for fun, but DH fell ill & I had to go alone. I didn't want to find out by myself, I would've teased him for the rest of the pg. I should never have that kind of power

with last one I wanted to find out for purely practical reasons, we were moving when I was 7.5m pg, so I wanted to make life easier and only sort baby clothes we'd need.

I'm currently pregnant with baby number 5 and we haven't found out with any of ours, we have our 20 week scan next week and we won't be finding out with this one either. Nearly everyone I know thinks we are mad but I just love the thought of not finding out until baby is born.

I didn’t want to know but for some reason people wanted to tell me? Before any appointment for absolutely anything I had to say “We don’t know if it is a boy or girl and we don’t want to know so please do not say anything!”

Didnt find out both times. First time around I was convinced DS was a boy from the get go and was right plus at the scan the sonographer told us to look away while she scanned the genitals and then got panicky when we thought it was safe to look-we figured she just have been panicking as there was something obvious on screen and (maybe naively) guessed that a penis was more likely to be obvious! We were right and, like a previous poster, after a birth and then a NICU stay where an awful lot did not go to plan having my DH tell me the sex was magical.

Second time around I was utterly convinced it was a girl. Didn't find out again, was much more keen to, went a bit mad with nub, skull, placenta theory but probably just found whatever I could to fit my theory! By the time of the birth my husband had left me so I requested that nobody tell me and I find out myself which was also very cool although slightly bizarre to have the 'release' of the baby pulled from me (c section) and then have my baby's genitals thrust into my face it was a boy which I announced with great shock and everyone thought I was upset. Couldn't have cared less, was just so surprised!

I don't think I'd ever go through with finding out at a scan because I did enjoy the anticipation but if I were to have another my boys would be older and possibly would like knowing so that might be a reason to do it. However I know two people who were told they were having a girl and then went on to give birth to boys so I'm not sure I'd actually trust a scan prediction of a girl anyway!

Exactly as you say, "like opening your presents before Christmas". I had zero desire to know whether I was having a boy or a girl each time. It made the final stages of labour bearable, as I was excited to know if I had a son or a daughter.

Getting to know your baby is a bit different from opening a Christmas present

I'm find I get more remarks as this is my second, I've got a boy so everyone assumes I'd like a girl. Not the case, I'd like a healthy baby. I've got a few weeks left and I've really enjoyed not knowing. As others have said I think it gives you a bit more in the tank in the final stages of labour. It's also a great way for dad to be involved when he gets to announce what we have!

I didn't find out with two of mine, did find out with one, will probably find out with this one for various reasons. Having done it both ways, they are both wonderful - just different experiences. I wouldn't say that one way was better than the other, it's just different.

I'm tempted but know I'd regret it.
Not knowing saves me a fortune as I'm much less likely to impulse buy. Neutral clothing is so dull!
I love most how after the birth, only DH and I know what our baby is (sex) what they're called. A true bit of privacy before we invite the world back in x

I didn't want to know, I definitely felt in a minority - everyone else at the anti-natal group knew what they were having. I was told that I would want to know, that I was lying about not knowing etc. I had decorated the nursery and bought every single stitch clothing up to 9 months because I'm not a fan of gendered stuff.
Unfortunately my plan of DH telling me at the birth was ruined by the sonographer at a 36 week growth scan who despite being asked not to give away the sex referred to "he" several times. So 10 years of infertility and losses, several cycles of IVF and knowledge that it was very likely to be my only child and the one thing I really wanted didn't happen. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter but through the years of struggle to have a baby I never had a single wobble and was always certain I didn't want to know.

Me and my fiancé aren’t finding out, we’re 27 weeks today and still not tempted. I wouldn’t say I have no interest in knowing but it definitely makes it more exciting not knowing in my opinion! When we told people we weren’t finding out they acted so shocked like it isn’t the done thing anymore! Although our family are super excited not to know it’ll definitely give me that final push when in labour.

I never found out the sex...

I really wanted to know - but then I have been known to open ‘found’ Christmas presents before Christmas so maybe I just don’t like surprises

We didn't find out with DS and currently 13 weeks with DC2, I'm looking forward to finding out when they are born.

Like you say, you get so many genuine surprises as an adult, this is a big one!

I did find out with my first.There were so many unknowns it helped me be less anxious. I could visualise her growing and mentally chat to her in my head. I also was extremely prone to crying at song lyrics about daughters and when I met polite teenage girls...oh dear.

My second child, I felt more confident about the uncertainty and we kept it as a surprise which was lovely.

We had the sonographer write down DD2 was a girl or boy just in case we broke and the envelope disappeared. Only to be discovered down the back of the kitchen drawer 6 months after she was born so the cat was out of the bag by then.

I never found out. I get why people do but I didn't want to know.

When I had DS they didn't even say 'it's a boy' they lifted him up so I could see what he was. It was beautiful.

We didn't find out for either of my two pregnancies. I had friends who had had scans to find out the gender only fir it to be wrong! In both cases I think they found it hard to adjust to having a different one as they'd chosen the name and to be honest imagined their little girl/boy only for it not to be the case.

@BeeDavis

Me and my fiancé aren’t finding out, we’re 27 weeks today and still not tempted. I wouldn’t say I have no interest in knowing but it definitely makes it more exciting not knowing in my opinion! When we told people we weren’t finding out they acted so shocked like it isn’t the done thing anymore! Although our family are super excited not to know it’ll definitely give me that final push when in labour.

Yes! Every midwife I saw (went in for RFM a few times) were always so surprised and said they love not knowing. They took wild guesses too which they were wrong on .

Definitely didn't want to know with the first. Mostly because I wanted the surprise and partly because I didn't want lots of sex stereotypes pushed on to baby from birth so not knowing meant we avoided some of that.

Found out for the second simply to do something different - but of the two options, I preferred not knowing.

I didn't want to find out with either of mine.

I wanted the surprise at the end. I also didn't want to fall into the trap of buying lots of gendered things or getting too attached to one name for baby.

Add to that I also really wanted boys. At 20 weeks I wasn't bonded enough to hear I was having a girl. When my daughter was born though .... my gosh did I love her so much. I knew when she was in my arms it wouldn't matter that she's a girl.

@MiddleParking

The only thing I’ve been 100% set on in both birth plans is that my DH gets to tell me what we have when they’re born. I can’t think of anything more special. And yes, as PP said, I needed it to get me through the hard bit!

I had this too. It was the only thing I could control during birth.

I loved finding out with my first felt very connected to baby.

Didn't find out with second. Gave birth in communal place very suddenly, that was shock enough barely gave a thought to gender until the paramedic asked.

I didn't want to know either. After all the hard work didn't want someone to say "it's a xxxxx" and me to say "I know". Loved having the surprise but knew what I was having in my head and I was right. I was more interested in whether they said it was just the one in there or not when I had my scan!

@ShowOfHands

I think if you're sure that you don't want to know then enjoy your choice and your conviction. There is no merit or grace in denigrating another person's choice. There is no better way than the one that is right for you.

There are as many pros to finding out as to waiting.

Very well put. Each to their own.

We chose to find out, I think there's plenty of surprises coming as it will be our first baby, and we were curious. But really have no strong feelings about whether people want to find out or not, it's a personal choice and makes no difference in the long run.

We found out at our 20 week scan and I've got such fond memories of the day. It was early April so after 5 months of almost complete lockdown it was lovely to have something special to look forward to. We havent told anyone else so it was nothing to do with wanting a big reveal or anything, and I've bought a mix of boys, girls and unisex clothes as I'm not a fan of overly frilly pink girly things on babies anyway! Part of the reason for finding out was names, we were struggling with girls names so we thought if we knew it was a boy it wouldnt matter anymore (it's a girl ).

I don't feel like I'm going to be any less delighted (or push more half heartedly?!) on the day our baby is born than someone who didnt find out though! Each to their own