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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone else has 0 desire to find out the gender before?

102 replies

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 19:39

I've noticed basically all of my friends who've had babies have found out the gender before. For me this would be like opening my presents before Christmas. On the day you get to enjoy the presents, but there's no element of surprise! I honestly have no desire at all to find out the gender as, apart from weight and appearance, it's the only real distinguishing factor about a newborn, and so if I know that there's nothing left to intrigue me. It's funny because generally in life I am quite nosey and impatient, but I've always been 100% sure this is one area of life I'd rather keep a surprise.

Anyone else feel the same way?

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bookh · 30/06/2021 20:25

We have a king history of infertility and losses which I won't bore you with.

I then fell pregnant with dd1 and carried to full term and we were both so shocked we were adamant we did not want to know, it was lovely when DH told me in theatre she was a girl.

Second pregnancy was lockdown, I had to go to absolutely everything alone, there was even a concern the section would be alone until they said the day before he could come.

I had really bad anxiety after dd1 and felt knowing might help me get to know baby. DH didn't want to know.

So we agreed I would know, but he would not know. We would never tell anyone in real life that I knew. When she was born I still asked DH what she was even though I had been told as it didn't feel real till he told me again! Joys of lockdown....

PaulaPetunia · 30/06/2021 20:26

Me.

Lulu1919 · 30/06/2021 20:28

Me
Didn't want to know
No tempted
Nope no no way

Strokethefurrywall · 30/06/2021 20:29

I didn’t find out with DS1 but did with DS2.
I much preferred not knowing, if I were to ever have another I’d not find out again.
Each to their own though, I just preferred not knowing.

Chocoqueen · 30/06/2021 20:31

I always wanted a surprise, but wavered as it got closer to the scan. Ultimately decided to wait as DH couldn't come with me (thanks covid)... glad I did as baby's legs were so close together the sonographer wouldn't have been able to tell us anyway

Still a couple of months to go before we do find out!

cauliflowerkorma · 30/06/2021 20:32

No didn't want to know! It is one of natures
Few miracles and surprises.

I think its a real marmite thing. Those who find out cant understand how you could possible not know. Those who think it is not necessary don't understand peoples need to find out.

I wanted to love them whoever and whatever they were and i did. I managed to get all organised without thinking pink or blue.

BoatsBoatsBOOOATS · 30/06/2021 20:33

Just meant if you find out it’s a boy/girl at 20 weeks it’s the same surprise as at the birth.

I’m a bad example because I was so worn out by labour I forgot to ask the sex until a few hours later when someone asked if we had a name picked out out!

Parkandride · 30/06/2021 20:38

Wasn't tempted at all, was so nice to see as she was lifted out.
Not into all the gendered stuff that would have come with knowing, though names would have been easier!

ThatWasCrazy · 30/06/2021 20:42

We've not found out the sex with any of ours but for some reason my family are convinced we are lying this time round and that we secretly know they mention it about once a week and it's beginning to really get on my nerves!

EdgeOfACoin · 30/06/2021 20:43

I was always adamant that I wouldn't want to know. Couldn't understand why people wanted to ruin the surprise.

When I actually got pregnant, I didn't like the idea that the sonographer (and any other medical personnel who was present at the scan) would know something about my baby that I didn't. Also, DH wanted to find out.

We found out at the 20 week scan. No regrets that we chose to find out early.

Terrazzo · 30/06/2021 20:44

It’s a surprise whenever you find out though

First time we planned not to find out but the sonographer slipped up and then her backtracking was completely unconvincing.

Second time round we found out in order to prepare eldest, reduce name choices and so on!

Third time round - will probably find out for practical reasons too!

Terrazzo · 30/06/2021 20:45

Also birth 1 was so traumatic that I wouldn’t have heard or cared when it was announced, second time around (elective c section) I lost half my blood so ditto!

Warrickdaviesasplates · 30/06/2021 21:05

We found out first time round as we were so worried about being unprepared (she was a surprise baby and we didn't even live together when I found out I was pregnant)

After finding out we realised it didn't help us practically at all and all it did was mean we were getting annoyed with the pre-birth gender stereotypes.

With DC2 we didn't find out and absolutely loved not knowing, seeing DD meet the new baby and getting to say to her "you have a baby brother" was such a special moment. Almost everything I liked was gender neutral anyway so I'm practical terms it made no difference.

Now pregnant with DC3 and am happily awaiting finding out at the birth in a few weeks time. Dd loves having a surprise with DS and told us she wanted another surprise this time, which suites us perfectly. We're reusing all DS's neutral stuff and have names picked.

I really can't understand why some people are so desperate to know and having done both I know which way I absolutely prefer.

JulesM73 · 30/06/2021 21:31

But for some people it makes binding easier or get prepared by knowing. Neither is wrong it’s what makes the individuals happy.
I found out because we wanted to know but we didn’t tell anyone, it didn’t detract from the experience in the slightest.

Gatehouse77 · 30/06/2021 21:44

For us, finding out the sex at the birth was part of the experience. The element of surprise was intertwined with the build up to the birth.

Moonface123 · 30/06/2021 21:55

No, l didn't want to find out with either of my two and never regretted it. You don't get many surprises in life.

RosemaryRosemary · 30/06/2021 22:16

I’m desire a surprise but I’m the only one in my group of friends who hasn’t found out. Most people are surprised I don’t want to find out. I’m wondering if the insta gender reveal trend has increased the prevalence of people finding out

MissChanandlerBong90 · 30/06/2021 22:34

I found out because my husband really wanted to and I felt sympathetic to that, knowing the sex seemed to help him bond better with the pregnancy.

But I don’t think it’s at all weird or strange to not want to find out. Amongst my friends I’d say it was probably 50/50.

I will be honest though. I do slightly judge people like my brother and sister in law who find out the sex then make a big deal of keeping it a secret so that everyone else ‘has a surprise’.

ShowOfHands · 30/06/2021 22:51

Around half of my friends found out and half didn't. It's not the minority choice here.

And to dispel an earlier misconception, I didn't find out because I buy into the stereotypes, quite the opposite. To me, the baby's sex was mere fact, same as looking at the heart or lungs. It informed bog all about what I bought, in fact I have one of each and they wore the same clothes.

And it turned out to be the right decision as I was unconscious when my eldest was born and the shock and ptsd when I came round meant that I have no memory of the first couple of hours. We found out at a moment when I was conscious and able to appreciate the fact!

FurryMcFlurry · 30/06/2021 22:55

I didn’t want to find out this time around but I just knew due to cravings mimicking a previous pregnancy and I thought may as well confirm it and I was right. If the pregnancy was not ditto of a previous one then I’d have left it a surprise x

Peach01 · 30/06/2021 23:09

Yes this time around I've not bothered but my previous pregnancy I felt completely different.

proudwomansexmatters · 30/06/2021 23:31

Nope. Wasn't interested in finding out with any of mine. But then I'm one who thinks that finding out the sex of the baby when they're born is one of the true surprises in life. I was convinced I was having a boy first time and girl second. Wrong on both occasions 😂

MarianneUnfaithful · 30/06/2021 23:32

I didn’t want to find out.

I just felt that the time for a baby to be known by their sex is when they are born and beck e their own little self rather than a foetus inside me.

I didn’t want to start developing projections as to what my baby would be like, and I certainly didn’t want to hear any of the sex stereotyped inanities that people spout about girl / boy babies.

iusedtoloveopalfruits1 · 01/07/2021 00:02

I feel the same that a lot of people seem to want to find out these days.
I didn’t want to know neither did my husband which was fine as then no one knows but If however by some weird twist of fate he found out then there is no way I could have not known.
I hate that he knows what I got for xmas (cos he bought it) but i have no idea!!! I’m just too nosey.

BoatyMcBoatMom · 01/07/2021 00:04

We didn’t know both times

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