Page 2 | Anyone else has 0 desire to find out the gender before?

Serenissima123 · 2021-06-30T18:39:52+00:00

I've noticed basically all of my friends who've had babies have found out the gender before. For me this would be like opening my presents before Christmas. On the day you get to enjoy the presents, but there's no element of surprise! I honestly have no desire at all to find out the gender as, apart from weight and appearance, it's the only real distinguishing factor about a newborn, and so if I know that there's nothing left to intrigue me. It's funny because generally in life I am quite nosey and impatient, but I've always been 100% sure this is one area of life I'd rather keep a surprise. Anyone else feel the same way?

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:01

@TDogsInHats

I didn't want to know the sex of my babies before they were born, they were all wonderful surprises. (It's sex, not gender by the way OP)

😊 I actually don't subscribe to the view that there's a difference (4 years in the arts department of university taught me the hard way that that is a very unpopular and unacceptable opinion, but it's one I stand by)

OP posts:

chesterelly · 30/06/2021 20:02

Didn't want to know for first two but when I was pregnant with number 3 DD was adamant she wasn't having another brother so we found out in case we had to talk her round (we didn't). Because of some complications earlier I had a scan at the main maternity unit instead of our local cottage hospital. There was a sonographer, midwife, obstetrician and a student. I figured they couldn't all be wrong so we told DD she was indeed getting a sister. She then told everyone she met her news

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:03

@ShowOfHands

I think if you're sure that you don't want to know then enjoy your choice and your conviction. There is no merit or grace in denigrating another person's choice. There is no better way than the one that is right for you.

There are as many pros to finding out as to waiting.

Oh I'm sure there are! And I don't mean to denigrate anyone, it's just I felt I was in the minority and wanted to see if anyone else shared my perspective

OP posts:

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:03

@chesterelly

Didn't want to know for first two but when I was pregnant with number 3 DD was adamant she wasn't having another brother so we found out in case we had to talk her round (we didn't). Because of some complications earlier I had a scan at the main maternity unit instead of our local cottage hospital. There was a sonographer, midwife, obstetrician and a student. I figured they couldn't all be wrong so we told DD she was indeed getting a sister. She then told everyone she met her news

Bless her ❤️❤️

OP posts:

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:04

@Palavah

I was told birth is easier if you don't know. No idea if that's true. I've no need to know - it's only one aspect of the person they will grow to be, so how would it help me?

Maybe the curiosity is meant to motivate you to push?

OP posts:

PurBal · 30/06/2021 20:05

I didn't have a desire to, no. But DH did. And given it's basically the only thing he had any say over in the pregnancy that's what we did. Was anticlimactic though, in as much we realised that we just didn't care or have a gender preference.

PurBal · 30/06/2021 20:06

*sex preference

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:07

@PurBal

I didn't have a desire to, no. But DH did. And given it's basically the only thing he had any say over in the pregnancy that's what we did. Was anticlimactic though, in as much we realised that we just didn't care or have a gender preference.

Maybe it's good that it showed you that you'd genuinely have been happy either way :)

OP posts:

DSGBT · 30/06/2021 20:09

I didn’t know first time round, did know second time. We couldn’t avoid it, it was twins, one with complications and had so many scans even I could tell one was a boy! It was definitely better not knowing, I loved trying to guess and saying if it’s a girl… if it’s a boy … It was much more fun!

MiddleParking · 30/06/2021 20:09

The only thing I’ve been 100% set on in both birth plans is that my DH gets to tell me what we have when they’re born. I can’t think of anything more special. And yes, as PP said, I needed it to get me through the hard bit!

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:10

@MiddleParking

The only thing I’ve been 100% set on in both birth plans is that my DH gets to tell me what we have when they’re born. I can’t think of anything more special. And yes, as PP said, I needed it to get me through the hard bit!

That's so lovely!

OP posts:

Enough4me · 30/06/2021 20:10

I found out with both of mine and loved knowing, but we are all different and I'm glad both options are there.

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:11

@DSGBT

I didn’t know first time round, did know second time. We couldn’t avoid it, it was twins, one with complications and had so many scans even I could tell one was a boy! It was definitely better not knowing, I loved trying to guess and saying if it’s a girl… if it’s a boy … It was much more fun!

Was it one boy and one girl? :)

OP posts:

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:12

@Enough4me

I found out with both of mine and loved knowing, but we are all different and I'm glad both options are there.

👍Fair enough!

OP posts:

DSGBT · 30/06/2021 20:13

@Serenissima123 yes the twins were a boy and a girl. First was a boy so it was nice finding out we were having a girl too but definitely better not knowing!

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:15

[quote DSGBT]@Serenissima123 yes the twins were a boy and a girl. First was a boy so it was nice finding out we were having a girl too but definitely better not knowing![/quote]
😊😊

OP posts:

BoatsBoatsBOOOATS · 30/06/2021 20:17

Do you really think you’re in the minority? I found way more people smugly going on about wanting “a surprise” as if it wasn’t the exact same suprise whenever you find out? 🤷‍♀️

I wonder if it’s regional…

Changedmyname1357 · 30/06/2021 20:18

I've been on both sides of this fence! I was adamant in my first pregnancy that I didn't want to know - I definitely used the early Christmas present analogy as well! It was such an exciting surprise when she arrived, and I got my "I told you so" bragging right as I had been adamant from the beginning that she was a girl.

Now pregnant with #2 and I'm equally sure I do want to find out, and I'm counting down the days until we know. I think, this time around, it's partly about being able to tell DD whether she's having a sister or brother and to prepare her better for the new sibling. But I'm also looking forward to having a bit more certainty with things like names, what sort of clothes to keep/buy. I guess I'm a bit more practically minded this time around.

I'll let you know which approach I personally prefer!

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:19

@BoatsBoatsBOOOATS

Do you really think you’re in the minority? I found way more people smugly going on about wanting “a surprise” as if it wasn’t the exact same suprise whenever you find out? 🤷‍♀️

I wonder if it’s regional…

Interestjng, maybe. All my non-British European friends found out, and my friends in the South West of England.

How'd you mean it's the exact same surprise each time?

OP posts:

Todaytomorrowyesterday · 30/06/2021 20:19

With our first we wanted to find out and then had a planned c-section so it felt all the surprises had been done with our 2nd we didn’t find out as I didn’t want to hear ohh your gutted it the same gender etc if that was the case and I knew I had to have another planned c-section.
I’m glad I didn’t find out it did make it special and it wasn’t the first question I asked I got to meet this beautiful baby& snuggle for quite a while before I realised I didn’t know!! And the theatre all laughed when I asked!!

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:19

@Changedmyname1357

I've been on both sides of this fence! I was adamant in my first pregnancy that I didn't want to know - I definitely used the early Christmas present analogy as well! It was such an exciting surprise when she arrived, and I got my "I told you so" bragging right as I had been adamant from the beginning that she was a girl.

Now pregnant with #2 and I'm equally sure I do want to find out, and I'm counting down the days until we know. I think, this time around, it's partly about being able to tell DD whether she's having a sister or brother and to prepare her better for the new sibling. But I'm also looking forward to having a bit more certainty with things like names, what sort of clothes to keep/buy. I guess I'm a bit more practically minded this time around.

I'll let you know which approach I personally prefer!

Yes, do!

OP posts:

Original poster

Serenissima123 · 30/06/2021 20:20

@Todaytomorrowyesterday

With our first we wanted to find out and then had a planned c-section so it felt all the surprises had been done

with our 2nd we didn’t find out as I didn’t want to hear ohh your gutted it the same gender etc if that was the case and I knew I had to have another planned c-section. I’m glad I didn’t find out it did make it special and it wasn’t the first question I asked I got to meet this beautiful baby& snuggle for quite a while before I realised I didn’t know!! And the theatre all laughed when I asked!!

Hahaha that's so sweet!

OP posts:

110APiccadilly · 30/06/2021 20:24

I didn't want to find out. Like a PP, I thought I would have a boy and was surprised to have a girl! But it was a great surprise!

I have no issue with people knowing if they want to but for me I'd rather wait. I was surprised how unusual that seemed to be - a lot of people asked which we were having and were really surprised we hadn't found out.