Ashamed

[tashx]

43 pregnant with 5th baby
My kids are
26, 24, 21 & 15
Scared , ashamed,
Embrassed
I keep hoping I'm dreaming

Scared to keep it
Scared to have abortion
Help

I had a dc at 43. My oldest was 25!! Youngest was 5..
Why are you ashamed?

Are you in a stable relationship?

What is scaring you about being pregnant/being a mum to a newborn?

Why on earth are you ashamed? I can't think of any reason why you should be.
How far along are you?
Have you spoken with anyone in RL?

Ashamed of what OP? Getting pregnant? It happens.
What are the circumstances? Husband, partner? What do you think you would like to do? Breathe...

With partner of 29 years
He said it's my choice
But he is 20 years older than me

I'm scared my kids will hate me
I'm scared people will tell me I'm terrible for letting this happen

I'm scared I will become unwell
I'm ashamed that my baby will
Hate me for being an old mum

Had a rough year with my partner
Only had sex once
How can this happen?
I'm ten weeks by my last period

Your children will not hate you. Your baby will not hate you. You have choices.

You sound like you are in profound shock.

Anyone who tries to tell you you are terrible is pretty terrible themselves.

You are in a stable relationship so that's good. He's saying it's your choice so that's good too - he must also be in shock but that's a good thing for him to be saying for starters.
My mum was 42 when she had me.
And yes - you have choices. What do you think so far? Do you want to continue with this pregnancy?

I don't know

I don't believe in abortion
But
I also want to do what's best
For everybody

I keep thinking
Maybe the tests are wrong
And
There is something else going on

OP, I'm saying this gently, but you're pregnant.

You have the freedom to choose if you want to end the pregnancy, at 43 and 63, a newborn/toddler can be bloody hard work BUT plenty of people do it.

If you can get your head around being pregnant - then start to think about the practicalities involved. Do you have enough room, money, car space etc for another child? Can you love another child?

Alternatively - could you realistically go through an abortion when you're past the point of being able to induce a miscarriage with pills?

I hope you make the choice that's right for you

Lots of women 'don't believe' in abortion until they are in the circumstances to need one.
Never mind for a moment doing what's right for everybody - what about you? You are the one that this most impacts on. I'm not saying no-one else matters, but you have to start with yourself.

I believe everything
Happens for a reason
And
Me being pregnant at 43
After once in a blue moon
Of nookie
Is like winning the lottery

I know I will be doing everything because partner is going to be too old to cope
But I will still love the baby

My main concern is my health I think
I cant speak to a doctor or anyone
But once I have maybe I can think with a clear head

Speaking to a doctor is a good start, if you're already 10 weeks you'll be due a scan soon to check for possible downs and other conditions that are more prevalent in mothers over 40. You can also discuss your health and how the pregnancy is likely to affect you

I would go for all your screening and allow it to all sink in before you decide how you feel about it all. I think you're probably just completely overwhelmed atm.
You've done it all before so have experience on your side. Your baby will love you because you will be their world. Your kids will still love you and their new sibling too. Your partner may be getting on a bit but can still contribute to taking care of this one.
Good luck

You've got choices. But I really think you will feel clearer once you've spoken with someone, ideally your GP or a rational friend.

Thankyou everyone

Doing the maths and you started dating when you were 14 and he was 34. Surely that's not right?

15 and 35

My mom was 38 when she had me and she said I kept her young! My brothers are 8 and 10 years older than me. My mom was (when I was young) somewhat considered an old mom and is older than most of my friends’ mom’s, but, she is the best mom in the world and I love her immeasurably.

Take some time to let it sink in, but I don’t think your children will be ashamed of you and you have NOTHING to be ashamed of.

It’s a blessing. But whatever you choose, ensure it’s a decision you have made in a measured and calm way!

Good luck xx

28 years we been together
Sorry
Not 29

OP you aren't the only one. I conceived at 44, partner was 55.A baby was absolutely not part of the plan.

It really isn't that bad. And at least you know what you are doing and you have a supportive partner. My ex was completely dumbfounded.
My ds was my first. But he's 12 now, perfectly happy and I love him to bits. The best thing ever

Thankyou
At the moment
I keep thinking the pregnancy tests
Are wrong
But
I have taken so many

Hi I have a 14 year gap between my youngest two, my older kids adore their younger sibling and my eldest especially loves doing things with her and has really enjoyed being able to do more things with her than she did with her other sisters who were closer to her in age. Doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, do what's right for you xx

I had secondary infertility and never got the chance of a second baby.

If you have any doubts whatsoever, keep the baby, it doesn't matter what other people think.

I wish you well, whatever decision you make.

Thankyou x

You are only 43! That’s not that old. I’m 39 and pregnant with my fifth too.

I think it's more the fact
My partner is 20 years older than me
Is it fair to give a child an old father?

And
Also because my other children are a lot older