June 2021 - Part 5 (nearly there)

[BlondePotter]

This is the continued thread for June mums to be!

Feel free to drop your due dates in for a reminder 💛

I'm due 7th June with my first baby 💛💛💛

@Waitingforbabypage I worry the whole birth and baby thing will set my husbands anxiety off again. My little one was a bit of a surprise. I worry he won't cope with me giving birth at all. There's not much I can do about it. Baby HAS to come out eventually. I think taking him to my online classes has helped.

Has yours gone to online classes? Can he take some time off work?

@AnxiousAnnie86 take one just incase. If its needed it's there and your not thinking on no I left the hats!
Also with our weather you can't tell what we'll get.

@AnxiousAnnie86 I have bought one hat, I always see them shoved into newborns after birth for some reason, it's cheap too so would rather have it as extra than missing one!

@Waitingforbabypage do you think he would benefit with a day off for you both to have a lovely brunch together and perhaps some shopping / some sort of activity to take his mind off things? (Second @Sitchervice)

@Sitchervice @Nesski he's one of these who will not take a day off work. I will suggest it to him though.

We've had a little talk, he struggles to vocalise his feelings- but basically he just feels like there's pressure coming from all angles at the moment and he just doesn't know how to cope.
He's not worried about the baby coming, she's not his first so he's ok with all of that, he is worried about the amount of pain I'm in and he's aware that packing and carrying boxes is not good for me. The work stuff, he applied for a promotion but is now having serious second thoughts about it but doesn't want to withdraw his application as he feels he's letting himself down. I've tried to reassure him that he's let no one down, it's only ever a positive thing that he applied even if he doesn't get the job it shows that he wants to better himself. And if he does get it then we'll cross that hurdle then and obviously I will help where I can like picking up the slack at home if he's working longer hours.

Now he's passed out exhausted and I'm wide awake worried about him. He's such a good partner. He does so much for the family, I couldn't ask for a better person to be with. I love him more than words I feel properly helpless, I hate seeing him so worried.

@Waitingforbabypage sounds like you have a great partner and dynamic, many many people waiver and question themselves when it comes to job promotions/ applications so he just needs a voice of reason and support he can lean on. When does he find out?

@Nesski in the next few days. He has very little confidence in himself and I try and build him up as much as I can, but I think he thinks I'm just doing it to be nice. But I'm not, I really believe in him.

@Waitingforbabypage the confidence thing is a reall grab at you and not let you go. I suspect he's probably having a little bit of imposter syndrome. But I think what you've said is the right approach. I would definitely push for him to have some time off and I'm sure his bosses would understand with moving and baby.

@Nesski at the moment my OH isn't showing anxiety, it's just somthing in the back of my mind.

@Sitchervice is your partner the type to keep everything bottled up for so long then suddenly it's out of control and the sky is falling and it's a real all hands on deck to try and calm everything down or is he likely to talk to you and let you know how he's doing?

@Waitingforbabypage I know everyone isn't the same but I would say I'm like your husband when I went for promotion, my husband just was very matter of fact and said I will leave, and he will support me, if my company didn't see my worth. I just needed to wait it out to be honest, but thankful that I had his full support. Just leave him to it and get on with life as normally as possible around him unless you feel you need to change subjects/talk something through with him if needed until D-day arrives!

@Waitingforbabypage his anxiety shows as a physical symptom, he gets the shakes and starts breathing fast/twitching. We don't know all his triggers other than stress.

He will try and hide it as long as possible from me though. Then it's like you say all hands on deck to try and help him. He'll have a fit then fall asleep usually. I try and get on with the day and just watch over him and be there when he needs me.
Sometimes there isn't much you can do, especially if they don't want to talk about it.

It took a long time before my other half went for talk therapy and meds.

@Sitchervice could you mention to midwife about your husbands anxieties? They may be able to recommend something? I have had a referral for counselling due to anxieties in pregnancy, it's a CBT thing as it has really helped!

I've just had my 32 week midwife apt, and baby is head down already, midwife seemed a little shocked?! Is this normal so soon x

@AnxiousAnnie86 mine was head down at my 28 week appointment

@PinkPlantCase oh good 😂 mines always been like sideways! Guess she ran out of room! I'm really hoping she doesn't come before 18th June that's planned c section at 38 weeks!

@AnxiousAnnie86 my little one was head down at 32 weeks as well and the midwife was very happy and suggested using a pregnancy ball to help keep baby in correct position , I was breach at 26 weeks

@AnxiousAnnie86 they are aware of his anxiety. At the moment he's stable. We had a fulse alarm the other day and he seemed to be OK so I'm in hope. We've built a plan around how to deal with it as well.

It's just one of these things that's always going to be in the back of my mind. A what if. If you like.

Most of my baby clothes packed for hospital are 0-3 months as find it hard to find 1 month but wondering now what if the 0-3 are a little big, I have one or two newborn sizes but not enough for 3 days stay in a hospital , will it matter or will it mean she will be cold even though it will be warm in the hospital and it will be Summer ?

Not sure whether just to wait and see what size she is and OH can pick up smaller bits but then won't have the chance to wash them before dropping to hospital , so confused 🙈🙈🙈

@TerryRose With my first, I just took 1 outfit but we were at a birth centre and home after 8 hours. She was born in March :)

We didn’t dress her till we went home, as we did prolonged skin to skin (for breast feeding and limited tears, a friend recommended it) and she stayed on our chests and if not on us, just with a nappy in a blanket, she was very cosy! Not sure what happens if we’d been in longer :)

For this one, it’s same plan as last time, birth centre and not getting dressed 🤣🤣 We also didn't bathe her for 7 days as my midwife said this can be beneficial for their skin etc, but understand that’s 100% preference and either way is fine!! ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻

@TerryRose sorry I forgot to answer your question regarding size, Her outfit was 0-3 months and was long on the legs and arms but just meant she has loads of wriggle room x

@AlRRRR oh super thank you ! 😊😊 Wow I would love to go home so soon after that's amazing you have that choice , I've been told it will be 3 days as if we want help with the breastfeeding we have to stay. Yeah I'll be waiting to wash her at home as well as heard it's great for their skin and think it will be good bonding experience for
dad to be involved in since he's been shut out of so many appointments and won't have much visit time in the hospital.

@TerryRose I've bought my newborn onsies from Sainsbury! They have some beautiful ones in newborn size xx

@TerryRose Have you been told to stay in for 3 days because of having a C-section?

x

Hi ladies! I just found this June baby thread, yay:) Congratulations to you all on your beautiful baby bumps I'm expecting my wee boy on the 5th of June. Have been in for weekly scans since 32 weeks since baby measuring on the small side. However there was a growth spurt last week so may still be on track for a water birth here at the midwive centre. If no- I'll probably be getting induced in the city hospital! Hope your all keeping well x

@AlRRRR no this is the hospital protocol for a vaginal delivery and if you want to breastfeed as there won't be any access to lactation consultant or anyone to help with breastfeeding once discharged so recommend 3 days in hospital, it's Ireland so less options here than the UK

@Surfermummytobe ah that's lovely ! Not long to go at all

@TerryRose ahhhh that makes sense!! I was going to say that I have many friends who live in Europe, the min time for staying in the hospitals is 3/4 days and it’s usual to stay in 5-7 days!

In the UK, well England, it seems it’s usual for in and out, most of my friend left after 6 hours!!! We do have a breastfeeding team here where I am in Yorkshire and they come to your house and /or video calls. They’ve recently been reinstated in the hospital too and come round to help you !

Shame about your partner not being able to attend appointments etc still! Do you have births centre where you live or just hospitals? x