September 2021 - Thread 4

[Poppins2016]

Ta da, thread number 4 so that we can keep up the chatting!

Previous thread

@FTEngineerM
If I had to choose, I'd go for gas and air over the tens machine. But knowing that I won't have gas and air at home, I'm going to hire a tens machine again for that part!
I hired a tens machine designed for labour (from the physio department at my local hospital, I believe Boots also hires them out) and there's a background setting plus a boost button for contractions. You can play with the settings to find the right intensity for you.
I actually forgot that I had mine until relatively late and would definitely have appreciated it earlier on!
I have to admit that I found the tens machine a bit of a faff during each contraction, pressing the boost button etc. and dialling the intensity up when necessary didn't feel particularly natural when I just wanted to zone out and focus on my breathing... I think the pool plus gas and air felt a lot more natural and I could let go and relax into it much more.
To be honest, if I felt comfortable with a home birth I'd happily swap the tens machine for a birth pool! Hmm. Just crossed my mind that I could look into hiring a pool even though I'm not having a home birth, but maybe that's a bit OTT?!

@Kirky658
I also suffered in both pregnancies, particularly in the early weeks... I had severe implantation pain with both and with this one I had hideous lingering left sided pain (always my worst side with periods/endometriosis) which led to being referred to EPU in case the pregnancy was ectopic (luckily all fine).
I often feel like I have mild period pains at the moment, but it's definitely less severe in this pregnancy (I guess because everything is pre-stretched)?!
One thing to bear in mind is being ready with any regular medication/coping strategies for when you start having periods after you give birth (thankfully my period didn't come back until 10 months post partum due to breastfeeding)... this didn't cross my mind and had almost unbearably painful consequences. Might be something to discuss with your consultant!

@poppins2016 I am definitely worried about the periods after birth that's for sure!! I have codeine etc but came off my amitryptyline I was prescribed. Consultant signed me off after my op as I was OK. So I guess the fun re referrals start again! Yeah I'm the same as you, stretchy type pains, particularly left side like yours by the sound of it. How many weeks are you? Xx

@Kirky658 I'm officially 17 weeks tomorrow, it's going so fast! How many weeks are you?!

I think the key thing that I regret is not having any decent painkillers in the house just in case... I'd hold onto any codeine you have left over and then see how it goes... my endometriosis didn't actually worsen, I was just without my usual treatment!

Even just this small group shows how varied and unpredictable childbirth can be! That’s what worries me is that anything can happen!

@Maybebaby29 I’m really hoping to have a vbac. My first experience of childbirth was a vaginal delivery, technically it went smoothly with no complications, but it was the baby that we’d lost to Patau syndrome so our little girl had already passed away. It wasn’t in the maternity ward, there was no-one there monitoring the baby’s well-being, just one midwife to help me through it. It was so awful and the grief was almost unbearable.

I put so much pressure on myself with our next pregnancy with DD, I was determined to have a healing birth where I got to take my baby home, I did hypnobirthing, planned a water birth, prepped my coconut water, lavender scented flannels, calming playlist, the whole shebang. Unfortunately, it ended up in a failed 30 hour induction, followed by an emcs and a stay in the special care baby unit, and resulted in 6 months of post-natal anxiety.

As this is definitely our last baby, I’m putting the pressure on again for it to be a good birth but I’m also fucking terrified of all the things that can go wrong!

Sorry if that was too heavy for Friday night reading!

@Squibble84 aww the first birth must have been awful for you I can’t even imagine going through all that.
Your second sounds like my first! My daughter stopped growing so ended up being induced, the same as you it was 30 hours and she started getting tired so they ended up taking me for an emcs, they took her straight off me cus they found out when she was born she had a congenital heart defect they hadn’t picked up on the scan (she’s fine now) she spend a few days in nicu.
My son I wanted a vbac but i had really bad appendicitis at 36 weeks we both nearly didn’t make it! The incision on my stomach was about 6 inches long, it was so painful cus my belly was growing at its fastest rate but the wound was trying to heel. My stitches ended up popping open when I bent down one day so they decided I should have a planned section as they didn’t think it would hold through contractions and delivery! I was gutted I’d always wanted a water birth. I’m too scared now to try vbac after 2 sections

@Squibble84 we shouldn’t make ourselves feel under pressure to deliver a certain way but we do! As long as the baby gets here safe and sound and we are both doing good then that’s all that matters but it’s hard not to be disappointed when things don’t go a way we planned x

@Maybebaby29 your past experiences sound so much like mine. I ended up with split stitches two weeks after ds was born and my lovely fil took me to a &e. I have got my appointment with the consultant and am going to try to push for them to let me get to 40 weeks and see if I go naturally. I didn't last time with ds but the risk of uterine rupture is so low I am willing to give it a bash. In my last two pregnancies I had low fluid levels around baby so they wouldn't let me go over 40 weeks with ds and dd was a failed induction after 10 days then an emergency section. I am hoping that they will allow me to go over the 40 weeks of fluid levels are OK to allow baby to come on its own. They won't induce me at my trust as I have had prior sections, some research to show it increases the risk of uterine rupture so won't take the risk which is fair enough!

I had a great consultant last time but am aware that as I have never given birth vaginally the chances of me doing so are slim. I think I am going to have a fight on my hands, obviously don't want to take any unnecessary risks with baby or myself but don't want to be railroaded either.

@Scotti84 that makes sense. Fingers crossed everything will go smoothly for you. Any ideas on your pain management in labour options?

@Squibble84 I totally understand wanting some control over the way you give birth and hope it goes well. My experience after dd led to pnd and at the back of my mind (it is stupid I know) I feel like my body isn't as capable as other women's because my cervix just doesn't want to open. Dh reminds me often that they way in which I have given birth doesn't matter to anyone but me and deep down I know he is right but I can't help the way I feel.

@Maybebaby29 gosh both your deliveries sound stressful - glad both your little ones (and you) were ok! Do you have a consultant appointment to discuss your birth plan? A big benefit of a planned section I guess is that you know exactly when and how it’s all going to happen!

@Sceptre86 I hope you get an understanding consultant who oks you to get to the 40 weeks! And at least you know you won’t have to be induced again! I had those exact feelings after I gave birth, that my body had failed me, and whilst I know that’s not true, like you said, it’s hard to stop those feelings sometimes!

Thank you @Poppins2016 oh gosh I think I know what you mean with the faffing, I didn’t even get my phone out for the whole 3 days 😂 . Maybe I’ll give that a miss, I quite likes G&A and I found it really helped when I used it correctly.

On another note I know soooooo many people pregnant due around September, it’s mad was, 7! 7 people not only pregnant but due in September. There’s got to be a boom?

Hi everyone! It's been such a busy day moving house, we're exhausted but so happy. I haven't caught up on all the posts yet but will read back!

Had my 16 week appointment today. First time I've properly met my midwife which was nice. All fine. I asked if she'd listen to the heartbeat and she said she was happy to try but they don't routinely unless asked, as they can't always find it and people can worry. But she found it straight away. 140bpm and sounded like a horse! Was lovely.

Next appointment is after 20 week scan and will be a home visit.

Happy new home day @AdventuresAwait ! How exciting for you 🥰

Loved reading all your birth stories, they're my faves!

I know a lot of people due in September too @FTEngineerM - it is supposed to be the busiest time of any year... guess we all had a great Xmas and New Year 😉

Well I'm having a C Section and I have no problem having one and making sure I get one. I've had major surgery before (neck and foot & ankle) after an accident so I'm under no illusions about recovery. I have lots of support which helps.

For me, my mental health and baby safety come first and for me that's C Section

@Noodles4Me Is this your first?

I guess that's another good point, i don't have much support. I have my partners family but all mine are in England and who knows if they'll be able to make it over.

@sceptre86 im not sure, we've not really gone into any of that. Im still waiting to hear from a midwife, they usually get involved about the 6th month here. All my appointments so far have been with a doctor.

@AdventuresAwait congrats on moving day!

@Scotti84 yeah, my first. I definitely think having my OH home for a month and my mum and sister-in-law down road will be a major help whilst recovering.

Hey ladies, I commented a while back on thread 2 or 3. I've been catching up on all your chat this morning.

I've now had my dating scan giving me a due date of 27 September so a little behind most of you. Re birthing choices... With my daughter I was induced when I was 12 days overdue which didn't progress very well and I ended up having an emergency section at 42 weeks. Because of that I am now consultant led. I mentioned to the midwife that I am considering an elective section for various reasons so I have an appointment with the consultant at 16 weeks to discuss then a further appointment at 28 weeks along with a growth scan. I am hoping by then they will schedule in a firm date. The midwife mentioned that they will not let me go over 40 weeks this time so either way baby should be here on or before due date.

Everyone is different though and I can understand why some people would prefer to go for VBAC. My sister's first birth was an emergency c section but her following two were VBAC. With her third they were all prepped for a section (which she didn't want) but her labour progressed quickly and so she convinced them to let her try VBAC and all went well.

@AdventuresAwait I’m so glad they listened to the heartbeat for you and all went well! Sounds like a busy day with moving house also!!

I’ve got my private scan today, it’s not until this afternoon but I’ve been awake ages!! I keep thinking I can feel the small one moving but I just don’t know what it should feel like 🤦🏻‍♀️.

@CheryLW It is difficult to describe. With my daughter the first feelings were like a rolling sensation which reminded me of clothes going round a washing machine and then kind of rhythmic tapping if that makes sense? It's like baby was tap, tap, tapping away with gentle jabs. You may notice little patterns of when you feel movement. My daughter loved to move around when I was trying to sleep.

• @CherylLW

Thank you @CherylLW and all the best for your scan! Looking forward to hearing about it.

And thanks to everyone who wished me luck or congratulations. It is so lovely. So busy and tired from the move that I've not responded individually but I've read them so thank you!

I really enjoy talking to you all on here and sharing your journeys too 😊

congrats on the move and the appt @AdventuresAwait!!! ours wasexactly 140bpm too! its nuts how quick it goes!
@CherylLW good luck today, so exciting! we find out at lunch, cannot wait!!! havent told family we are finding out at this stage and cant wait to finally see them for first time since finding out were pregnant, and getting to tell them if a boy or girl! i hadnt realised that the weird bubbling i had felt was the baby,but mdwife said was exactly as described! don't feel it that often but now makes sense as i thought it was my tummy doing some v weird things!
thanks everyone for sharing their birth stories, wow you are all amazing. i honestly cant imagine and am pretty scared about the whole thing. Defo want to try hypnobirthing course and would love a water birth as always got back ache anyway and find hot baths really help. Not sure im that good with pain - so can imagine not getting v far and demanding all the drugs i can get! it really helped u all saying its not like constant pain as sometimes when peoeple say labour went on for days im literally imagining not a second where you aren't screaming. i probably need to swot up on more stuff!

So much to catch up on this thread, I can't keep up!

Congrats on the house move @AdventuresAwait

Good luck to anyone having private scans in the next few days, hope all goes well.

Is anyone else keeping the baby's sex a surprise? My husband really wants to find out but I don't know if I do. My 20 week scan is only a few weeks off so I need to make my mind up

Good luck to those having scans today!

@leftitlate37 I've heard it's like a bubbling too and I had something weird the other night which I wasn't sure but thought it could be, then nothing since. I can't wait until their movements are obvious!!!

@KHR1 We are having a surprise! Often feel like I'm the only person choosing this these days by some of the reactions when we tell people that! But all our family think it's lovely and we're adamant it's what we want :)

Glad your scan went well @AdventuresAwait and the move!

@Noodles4Me that’s lush you’ve got a good support network there, it’ll give you a chance to brush up on your delegating skills😂. My fave thing was people bring me things I could ding in the micro and eat one handed, they were angels.

Good luck today @CherylLW and @leftitlate37 so exciting. Don’t be scared though every single birth is unique, and most women do it more than once so it must be worth it right?!

@SP2Bx @KHR1 I totally get the surprise aspect, it must be so emotional finding out on the day you give birth. I wish I had the restraint.

@Noodles4Me that’s great you’ll have that support and having DH for a month will make a world of difference! My DH had no paternity leave and I really struggled on my own.

Also I think an ELCS is a whole different ball game to an emergency one. You’re going into it more prepared, you know what to expect, and from what I’ve heard, the recovery time with an elective is much quicker! I hadn’t even considered a caesarean when I went in and had no idea what it involved!

I’m hoping to have a vbac but it will also be part of my birth plan that if I need to be induced, I’ll skip that part and go straight to an elective. You definitely have to do what feels right for you!

@KHR1 yes we’re not finding out the sex of the baby. We did with DD but hoping to keep this one a surprise.