I’ve just found out I’m 18 weeks pregnant, OH is demanding an abortion.

[Leavingforgood1]

We have 3 dcs, I was on the mini pill (which I took religiously). Anyway I just took a test last week not thinking much of it and it came up positive. After having next to no period since our daughter was born in March 2020 I didn’t find the lack of period out of the ordinary. I booked a private scan to see how far along I was (expecting to be quite early) and to my shock I am 18 weeks pregnant. Strong heartbeat etc. The midwife said as I have an anterior placenta that’s the reason I haven’t felt movements etc. The minute we got home I threw up ( I think it was the shock of it). Anyway OH is demanding an abortion now, and saying we have until 24 weeks to do so! I am very much against late term abortions. He’s adamant and is saying he’ll leave if I keep it. My heads scrambled and I just want to curl up in a ball!

It's not up to him. Anyway it's far too late at 18 weeks. The experience will be horrific. And on top of all that you don't want to which is a good enough reason for anybody.

You were leaving him 3 weeks ago, what happened?

Okay so two options.

Have an abortion, possibly give birth to a baby alive (my baby was born alive at 20 weeks, survived for 4 hours, pre term labour but midwife said some terminations are like this too)

Resent your husband and the marriage break away.

Tbh he sounds like a sick head who would leave at some point anyway.

Keep your beloved baby, and be rid of someone who looks like he won't be around for a long time anyway and tbh the way he's acting it's in your best interest to terminate the marriage, not the pregnancy

Crikey. What an absolute bell end.

This reminds me of a pregnancy scare I had with an old boyfriend back in 2004. First he didn't 'believe' me (wtf?!) then said he was going to get a court order to FORCE me into a termination!! I laughed and left him. Thankfully I wasn't pregnant but boy am I glad I found out what he was really like.

Are you ok OP?

I must say I'm shocked that you're leaving it up to him. Do you really still want him after this behaviour? You can't possibly still be attracted to him and you know you really can't stay with him for the help/for the sake of the kids.

My parents did that and it was hell for us kids.
We grew up not knowing what a real relationship looked like. Hence neither I nor my older brother are with anyone. Both pretty messed up when it comes to relationships, thanks to growing up with parents who should've divorced a long long time ago.

My 4 th dc was a surprise.. And a boy.
You can do this alone op..

Great you are having a baby, great you're leaving this awful person.

Also good to hear some honest feeling here on MN about this emotive subject.

Be careful. This husband sounds very unpleasant. Better to be away from him ASAP.