Too old for a baby

[deborahdiamond]

Hello im looking for some advice im just 48 am i mad into thinking lets have a baby at my age ie risks or just dont go there any advice please

@espressoontap

I think it's too old. I'm 33 and just had DD who is my second, I'm exhausted and can't imagine doing it any older. I would have loved to have them in my mid-20s but DH wanted to wait - which is fine obviously - think I mad more energy then as well.

You're tired at 33?!?!?!???

Donor eggs and do it now. Any later I'd say probably too old, although if you have no children I understand that desire would never go away for one

@HopingForOurRainbowBaby

Fuck what anyone else thinks!! My OH was 52 when I fell Pregnant. Had I gone to term he would've been 53 a couple of months after. We're trying again now which means he will be 54 maybe 55 when Baby is born. He did go through a stage of thinking he was too old and that he'd missed his chance years ago before we met, but after I fell Pregnant and miscarried the first time round he said them how much he wanted a Baby. Our biggest downfall is the 98 miles that separate us!

My DH is 48 and we haven't ruled out having more children in the future!

@espressoontap

I think it's too old. I'm 33 and just had DD who is my second, I'm exhausted and can't imagine doing it any older. I would have loved to have them in my mid-20s but DH wanted to wait - which is fine obviously - think I mad more energy then as well.

@espressoontap god I’m 34 and only just coming round to the idea! I loved being “free” in my 20s. Even now I’m a bit scared to lose my freedom

How old is too old ?

@Fiona2020 maybe I'm still in the newborn fog and getting used to having 2

[quote espressoontap]@Fiona2020 maybe I'm still in the newborn fog and getting used to having 2 [/quote]
It's the newborn fog which is making you tired, not your age!

Your title does say it all

@Fiona2020 you must think people like me are totally bonkers then.
1st at 21, pregnant with numer 6 at 36. Freedom is overrated lol

No, its too late. That ship has sailed.
Don't do it.

Don't mind talk about George Clooney. He's mega rich, gay and the net was closing in so he jumped and got married because he won't come out and he has a much younger wife to look after the kids, if he pops his clogs early.

My aunt had her last of 8 at 52. All going great she is 60 now. More energy than me at 37 lol. She met a new partner who had no kids. It was concieved through Ivf but they are all happy.

My mother became a grandmother at 50.
Sorry OP but not only are you too old, but its incredibly selfish to have a baby at your age. Not to mention the chances of naturally conceiving are very small.

Highly unlikely and totally unfair on the child!!

I tried for a baby, decided to give up after 42 but carried on, got pregnant naturally, several times, had multiple losses, due to multiple miscarriages they tested remains, last one, I was 44 had trisomy 15 chromosome disorder, rarely compatible with life, very disabled if born. This made me consider our future with a disabled child, we would have a lot to lose and the impact on my DS, so I gave up trying.

If you try assisted fertility then a clinic will recommend donor eggs, even then the chance of conception is less than 5%.

Sorry to paint a gloomy picture, best of luck with whatever you decide

I have a friend who has a naturally conceived and healthy baby at 48. I have a 3 month old and am just 45. If you haven't gone through the menopause it's possible but be under no illusions that it would be easy. It may take a while to become pregnant and You're highly likely to have a miscarriage - I had 3 between ages 42 and 44. Physically I'm finding it no harder than when I had my first baby at 25 or my 6th at 35 but I have always kept myself fit and a healthy weight.

@Bubblesdublin

My aunt had her last of 8 at 52. All going great she is 60 now. More energy than me at 37 lol. She met a new partner who had no kids. It was concieved through Ivf but they are all happy.

Donor eggs.

@Chelyanne haha everyone’s different. I didn’t really have a “long term” boyfriend in my 20s I worked abroad as a nanny and then rep. I loved every second or just being free (and drunk!)

At 34 I feel like I’m ready. I do get scared I’m gonna loose myself though and just be one of those mums who thinks everyone’s interested in their children!

I don't think i would

Chances of child having health problems is higher, you may then develop your own health problems.

I am like @Chelyanne though, DC1 @ 20 - DC6 @ 33!

I think most things have already been said by others and I think you should consider all the advice given.

You don’t state whether or not you already have any children, if you don’t then I can see why you may have more of an urge.

I’m not going to say it’s too old, it’s a personal choice. For me, yes it would be too old. I’m 38 and expecting number 4 (first with a new partner), and for me, my cut off for trying would have been 40. Pregnancy so far has not been any harder than it was in my 20’s, but I do consider myself fairly fit and active and I am still only in the early days of it!

I found the whole ttc process far far more difficult than I did with my first 3 dc when I was in my 20’s and early 30’s. It took 16 months and 4 miscarriages before falling with this one.

I had various tests with a fertility specialist who told me I was pushing for time if I wanted to go the ivf route.

Thankfully we didn’t need that help, but from the information she gave me, had I chosen to go ivf they’d would have heavily encouraged me to use donor eggs rather than my own.

It was clear after the 4 miscarriages that my own eggs weren’t of great quality anymore. I’m only 8+3 now so only time will tell if this baby is healthy with no chromosome issues.

I would contact some private fertility companies and at least get a consultation and perhaps some initial tests carried out so you know what your options are.

I wish you all the best but please prepare yourself for the fact this may not ever have a happy outcome. Xx

@Fiona2020 well people are certainly more interested in my kids than they are me. I do think it's hard not to be a bit child orientated when you become a mum, they're some/one of your proudest achievements in life. It's not easy making/raising them either.

@deborahdiamond, don't let anyone scare you off here. People are different including their fertility, general health and energy levels. Yes, medically the odds are against you, but you might get lucky. At the end it is your personal decision. Once you have thought things through (childcare, relatives who could help in case you experience health concerns later in the line, your general fitness etc.), I suggest that you find an open minded fertility clinic and have baseline tests done to know your options. The rest you can take from there. Best of luck whatever you decide! X

As long as you're prepared for the disappointment if it doesn't happen, and you're fit and well - why not?
I had my youngest at 40 and yes, the baby / toddler years are hard, but at 50 I would have another like a shot if I hadn't found my ideal career in the last few years.

If you're financially stable, have supportive family around you - and you really, really want a baby - other people's negativity shouldn't matter.
For those people who complain that they had older parents and hated it - the alternative for them wasn't having younger parents, it was 'not being born'. Plenty of people hated being brought up by younger parents too (my Mum was 16 and it was less that ideal).

I’m due my second at 27 and feel I am far too old, I would never put myself through it again even if I did want more and will be having my tubes tied asap! But.. personal choice. Are you willing to accept that there’s a lot higher chance that things may go wrong?

@Chelyanne oh I don’t doubt it’s hard. Hence why I’ve waited. What I mean is people with kids forget that people without kids aren’t always as interested. I have a couple friends that when I suggested a “get together” they often say “I’ll bring XYZ” and I think no! I don’t wanna see the kids I want an adult convo!

I don’t think your too old if you want too and can. I actually lived with my Nan and grandad (my guardians). They would of been prob a little older than you. I never had any issues that they felt to old or I missed out. We still went out places, played board games etc. I had a great childhood.