Too old for a baby

[deborahdiamond]

Hello im looking for some advice im just 48 am i mad into thinking lets have a baby at my age ie risks or just dont go there any advice please

Well if money is no object I guess you could go abroad for donor insemination and another woman’s eggs. No one in this country will do anything for you at this age I wouldn’t think, all kinds of ethical and health issues would arise.

I think it's too old. I'm 33 and just had DD who is my second, I'm exhausted and can't imagine doing it any older. I would have loved to have them in my mid-20s but DH wanted to wait - which is fine obviously - think I mad more energy then as well.

Also, even if there’s some remote possibility that you CAN, it really doesn’t mean you should.

@greendress789

George Clooney, Robbie Williams had children at 47/48.

They had sex, they didn't carry a baby to term. They're also multimillionaires with younger wives.

@greendress789

George Clooney, Robbie Williams had children at 47/48.

George Clooney and Robbie William's didnt have to grow them and then push them out of their vagina.

Pay for private fertility testing and see if it’s even possible. Are you wanting to use your own eggs or donors? Regular conception or ivf? Do you have a partner?

I think it’s important to be realistic. A colleague started ttc her first at 45 and was completely devastated when she was told it wasn’t going to happen. It genuinely seemed like she hasn’t considered that at her age it might not happen at all, never mind straight away and she was in a very bad way coming to terms with it.

@greendress789

George Clooney, Robbie Williams had children at 47/48.

Stupid thing to say.

If you are in good physical and mental condition at that age then I don't see why not.

I hope not to be having babies that late though.

@greendress789

George Clooney, Robbie Williams had children at 47/48.

Irrelevant because men produce sperm most of their lives post puberty. Women don't produce eggs; they are born with all the eggs they will have. So no matter how many proclaim they are fit and healthy and active and blah blah blah, a woman's eggs are as old as she is and it's a fact that egg quality deteriorates with age and biological fertility ends for them whereas it doesn't for men. They fathered children. Their younger wives and partners are the ones who had children.

Similarly, even conceiving with eggs donated from a younger woman, a woman's uterus, it being a muscle, is not as good as doing what it does when it was younger. The risks associated with childbirth at this age are far greater for the reason, things like miscarriage, premature birth, stillbirth, complications in childbirth.

There is no comparison between the body of a 48-year-old and a 28-year-old; the body is its age no matter how delusional people are about ageing. It's a biological process and fact.

I had a healthy dc at 43.2. Ttc when he was a year. Had 3 chemicals and a mmc at 8 weeks. Neve got a bfp after that. Dr told me very unlikely to carry a healthy dc to term past 45.. That's a generalised opinion.. My blood work was good she said but her personal opinion I felt..
Saying that I had a very early loss a month after I was 49!
What a shocker!

In all honesty it's far too old. Naturally your chances of a healthy viable pregnancy to term are extremely poor. All you ok with having a child with additional problems? A combination of higher risk generally and higher complications at birth risk.
Are you prepared to have a miscarriage? It will be likely if you do conceive.
IVF and doner eggs ?? This route does pose ethical issues long term and being heavily debated due to the fact the child is not genetically yours ( donor egg) please stop and think first as for your child this will open a can of worms one day, it is being done but maybe it shouldn't be!. But maybe the way you need to go, so please think deeply about what it means.
You will be an older mother, 70 when your child is 20, you are unlikely to be an involved granny, you will be ageing whilst your child wants to do active things. GO ape in your 60s ????? I am in my 40s and don't really enjoy hanging by ropes from trees but that's what being a mother involves some days. You could sit on the side but your child will notice that other mother's are actively involved when you are not. Being older may cause issues for your child, children do notice things like a much older parent as they get older. Are you happy being mistaken for granny?

Sometimes nature stops us doing things for a reason! I'm sorry but yes you are too old now.

You really need to think all the way ahead in great detail: stroppy Tweenie when you're in your 50s and tired and menopausal, stroppy teen and all the challenges that brings when you're in your 60s. Driving to collect them from late nights out and university trips when you're getting toward 70. Then needing them more when they might need help themselves with their young families later. I had my last at 39 which was old enough, I think - even though I would have had one more if I could have at the time (I'm really glad I didn't now with my youngest being 10 and I'm 50).

I had my DD at the age of 41. She is our first and last. I'm now 44 and DD will be 3 in June. I am the oldest out of our NCT group and DH and I are, to put it mildly, tired most of the time. At 48 I personally think you're crazy and like others have said your chances of conceiving etc are pretty low. If you really want a child, have you thought about adoption / fostering?

Fuck what anyone else thinks!! My OH was 52 when I fell Pregnant. Had I gone to term he would've been 53 a couple of months after. We're trying again now which means he will be 54 maybe 55 when Baby is born. He did go through a stage of thinking he was too old and that he'd missed his chance years ago before we met, but after I fell Pregnant and miscarried the first time round he said them how much he wanted a Baby. Our biggest downfall is the 98 miles that separate us!

@HopingForOurRainbowBaby how old are you though? It's you carrying so your age is the relevant one to OP.

@HopingForOurRainbowBaby you’re talking about a man who doesn’t physically have the same limitations of fertility and of carrying a baby. Surely you can understand that it’s a totally different argument

@HopingForOurRainbowBaby

Fuck what anyone else thinks!! My OH was 52 when I fell Pregnant. Had I gone to term he would've been 53 a couple of months after. We're trying again now which means he will be 54 maybe 55 when Baby is born. He did go through a stage of thinking he was too old and that he'd missed his chance years ago before we met, but after I fell Pregnant and miscarried the first time round he said them how much he wanted a Baby. Our biggest downfall is the 98 miles that separate us!

I think it's safe to assume the OP is a woman, so unlike men, she has a biological clock. Mens age when becoming a father can be 80. Women usually arent far off menopause at 50

@HopingForOurRainbowBaby

Fuck what anyone else thinks!! My OH was 52 when I fell Pregnant. Had I gone to term he would've been 53 a couple of months after. We're trying again now which means he will be 54 maybe 55 when Baby is born. He did go through a stage of thinking he was too old and that he'd missed his chance years ago before we met, but after I fell Pregnant and miscarried the first time round he said them how much he wanted a Baby. Our biggest downfall is the 98 miles that separate us!

And what age are you?

Your chances are almost nil, sorry op.

If having a biological child is not an option due to age, but you would like a family. I'm sure there are plenty of other options of starting a family, could you offer a older child a home/family though fostering or adoption? (No experience just and idea)

I'm 56. Mine are now 18 and 20. Don't underestimate the emotional toll of teenagers and beyond. I would not like to be doing this 10 years older. Baby years easy compared to teens

Yeah teens😖

I had dd at 46 with no problems apart from G Diabetes. Get a full health check, find out about the potential problems and if they feel like something you could cope with-or, to be brutal, you’d be able to end your pregnancy for- then hope for the best and try.

Most IVF clinics will treat up to the age of 50, but past the early 40's that would almost certainly be with donor eggs. At 48, it's extremely unlikely that you will fall pregnant with your own eggs, let alone carry a healthy baby to term.

My post was in relation to people saying 47/48 was too old as you'd be 70 when they were teenagers, it's not fair on them to have old parents, etc, yet plenty of men have children in their late 40s!