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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When did you tell people you’re pregnant?

46 replies

Thefaceofboe · 01/02/2021 18:56

I’m only 5 weeks but we’ve agreed not to tell our parents till 12 weeks, one of the reasons is we’re hoping for lockdown to be over and we can tell them in person. I’m desperate to tell a close friend but my partner has said it’s not fair to tell her before our family. I’m itching to talk about it with someone!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

swiftt · 01/02/2021 18:59

I told a couple of close friends and my parents the day I found out. Grandparents and immediate family after an early scan at 8 weeks. Then everyone else after 12 week scan. No way I could have kept it to myself for that long!

Original poster

Thefaceofboe · 01/02/2021 19:03

I’m starting to think 12 weeks isn’t realistic. We have an private scan booked for about 8 weeks so that might have to do. I’m finding it so hard to be at work and not yell “I’m pregnant!!!” In everyone’s face

OP posts:

BrightonR · 01/02/2021 19:07

I am 5 weeks and told my parents on the day. I have since let it slip to 4 other friends as they were all asking about family planning and I couldn't lie on the video chat. Frankly, I don't know why there is all of this stuff about keeping it a secret. I realise there can be complications but I would love to have people around me who know what is happening and can support than be completely alone. Also some of my friends have been there before and so I have someone to check my symptoms are normal.

If it all goes well and it is a sticky bean then it is lovely to know my friends are supportive. I had some brill reactions.

Do what feels right for you, but I have no regrets

LouNatics · 01/02/2021 19:14

Waited until after my 12 week scan and also results in the post with the first. Wished I hadn’t told them.
Waited until 24 weeks when the baby would legally exist with the second.
Was very careful with the third and didn’t tell until 14/15 weeks but again regretted it.
With the fourth I just said fuck it, it can’t matter that much, I've already had the rollercoaster and told whoever cared from when I found out.

Bourbonbiccy · 01/02/2021 19:15

15 weeks, but that's only because that's when I found out

I think you should be able to talk to your best friend about it, and tell her not to mention it to anyone else.

PerfectPinecone · 01/02/2021 19:18

9 weeks ish. Once I'd had our first private scan. Wanted the support incase anything did go wrong

Chelyanne · 01/02/2021 19:23

With our 1st I told my mum not long after I found out and one close friend before my 1st scan. Others after the dating scan at over 13wk.
All after this we've waited until after scans. 2 & 3 was around 12 weeks.
4&5 were twins, we had an early scan which I told my parents but waited until after the dating scan to tell other people.
With this one I want to tell my parents after the dating scan next week, dh wants to wait until we find out the gender.

Chelyanne · 01/02/2021 19:26

We always wait until scans as I just can't stand the way people look at you when you tell them you've had a miscarriage. We've had 5 of those between 8 & 12wk, I'd rather deal with the grief in private.

Spring2021 · 01/02/2021 19:30

I told my best friend at 6 weeks the first couple of times I was pregnant I couldn’t wait and miscarried both just after. Then 3rd time I waited 12 weeks to tell a soul.

Bluebell9 · 01/02/2021 19:31

I told my sister and parents the day i found out and a few friends after the 12 week scan. I officially told work when I was 8 weeks as I was signed off with sickness but I didn't tell anyone weeks at work until I was 19 weeks as we had to have extra tests to make sure everything was OK after some dodgy results.

Montii · 01/02/2021 19:32

With our first son we told our immediate family and close friends around 5 weeks.

Second pregnancy did the same but then lost it at 6.5 weeks.

Third pregnancy didn’t tell anyone and lost it at 7.5 weeks. After I miscarried we told our immediate family and closest friends what had happened.

Fourth pregnancy (second son) we waited until after 10 weeks and we’d had two scans and the NIPT test done. Our little rainbow baby is now almost 3 months old.

I think it’s a really personal decision though, do whatever you feel is right for you

Riggsisadino · 01/02/2021 19:35

Mum a week after. Other family from 8-12 weeks I'm now 29 weeks and told 3 friends. Evreyone else is going to find out when he's born !

fastandthecurious · 01/02/2021 19:38

I told my mum and best friend the day I found out. Then my dad a week later ( I knew he'd cry so wanted to make it special). Told the rest of my family after a scan at 8 weeks. Didn't have to tell my work friends as I was off to the toilet every 10 minutes to vomit 😅 then announced it on social media to my extended family and friends at 12 weeks. I couldn't have kept it to myself all that time I was fit to burst!! Luckily I worked with my best friend at the time and I walked in the morning of my positive test and she just knew so that was easy!

Whatagreytdoggo · 01/02/2021 19:39

We told our close family and good friends on the day we found out. We based it on telling people we didn't mind knowing if something was to go wrong.
We told extended family at 12 weeks, we didn't make it common knowledge until our 20 week scan was clear.

RandyGiles06 · 01/02/2021 19:50

First DC I told my best friend and parents straight away. Told the rest of my close family after our private scan at 8 weeks and announced after the 12 week scan. Second pregnancy I told my mum and best friend again and lost it shortly after. Third pregnancy (this one) I told my best friend at 5 weeks but not my mum. I’m 6 weeks now and will wait to tell anyone else until our private scan at 9 weeks. I didn’t find my DM helpful at all after last time so decided she’ll just have to wait until I’ve had a scan. It’s a very personal thing so best to just do what you think

abcde12 · 01/02/2021 19:54

Me and my partner chose 2 friends each to tell who we trusted would keep it a secret. We told parents after scan at 11 weeks. This is our second baby and done the exact same the first time too, it's just what works for us and our parents don't mind at all that we tell a couple of friends before them!

Crazycatlady83 · 01/02/2021 19:54

We told our parents after the 12 week scan, and I told my employer this week. Haven’t told anyone else and weirdly feel no rush to do so (with DS we told everyone after the 12 week scan)! Just tell people when you want to OP! Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Original poster

Thefaceofboe · 01/02/2021 19:54

We’ve been trying for over 2 years so I can’t wait to tell people, but also really nervous so holding back a bit. I suppose everyone has different experiences so I’ll just see how I feel as the pregnancy progresses

OP posts:

BabyC21 · 01/02/2021 19:58

Before I got pregnant I swore I wouldn’t tell anyone till 12 weeks... found out I was pregnant at 3&1... kept it between my husband and I for a whole week... then started telling people 😂 I’m 12 & 3 now and we are just telling extended family now (well actually letting my mam do most of the telling, she enjoys it). But not doing any social media announcement etc so I’m sure there will be people popping up that we tell as we go along

Amammai · 01/02/2021 20:03

During my last pregnancy, I told my parents at about 5 weeks and a close friend at 6 weeks. I lost the baby but I did not regret having told them as it meant I had a little team to confide in about my loss and they were a huge support. With this pregnancy I told parents at 8 weeks but had already told a friend at 7 weeks as she asked me straight out I couldn’t lie! Do what is right for you, I don’t think there has to be a certain ‘order’ of who knows. Congratulations!

birdglasspen · 01/02/2021 20:05

How would you feel if you miscarried and then had to tell people that or answer their questions about your pregnancy? Only tell people that you would be comfortable discussing this with. On the other hand if this did happen you may want more than just your partner to support you through this, so whoever you think would be of most help to you if the worse happens, your parents don't need to know the friend knew, just make sure you tell a friend who knows how to keep quiet!

Original poster

Thefaceofboe · 01/02/2021 20:10

@birdglasspen that’s what I’ve been thinking, I would only tell a close friend and she is someone I’d want for support if we did lose the baby. Luckily my friend lives near me which is at the opposite end of the country to most my other friends and family so no chance of her blabbing :)

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Quail15 · 01/02/2021 20:20

Husband and i didnt tell anyone until after my NIPT results came back at 14 weeks. I had previously lost twins just before the 12 week scan - we had started telling people about that pregnancy and were devastated when we had to tell everyone I had lost them.

We were definitely more cautious this time but it has so far worked out well and I'm 28 weeks.

DisgruntledPelican · 01/02/2021 20:22

Parents / ILs - 9 weeks. Earlier than I wanted but DP couldn’t keep the secret in any longer, and we wanted both sets of parents to know at the same time

Friends - 14 weeks

Work - 18 weeks

SatsumasOrClementines · 01/02/2021 20:25

@LouNatics can I ask why you regretted telling them? Obviously don’t worry if you don’t want to say, I’m asking in case it relates to when to tell people, not to pry.

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