3x Due Aug 21 consolidated

[Alittlexmasmagic]

Hi everyone,
just hoping to get as many people in one thread as possible. More scope for sharing knowledge, concerns or worries. Wishing everyone the best of luck on this journey.
When I've a minute I will try and tag everyone across the three threads.
x

@haidri It is possible for any scan to be a bit off, yes, especially if you're early on.

@BertieBotts Aw thanks! Is there an august 2021 fb group do you know? I was in one for my first little boy and loved it

@ame88 I don’t think it would be insensitive. Well it’s not the type of thing I would upset about, I’d be happy for my friend’s news!

@JuFrance welcome! I think there is a FB group, I’m not on FB so don’t know how to access but hopefully someone else can point you in the right direction!

@PurplePansy05 I’m sorry you’re so knowledgeable on MMC I never thought that about private scans. In my letter for my booking appointment they say bring notes from any private scans, so I did, midwife didn’t even look or ask which I thought was quite odd. Typical it’s likely to all come down to liability but makes sense!

@haidri I’m so sorry you’re going through this confusion, I’m not really sure what to say other than I really hope it all works out for you xx

@Thisisbananas3 Thank you I only know because things were not explained to my by the NHS staff either and it's made me very upset so now I share with everyone in the same position. It took some time and reading over the last few years, and distancing myself from what I've been through. My first baby was a MMC and it was an awful shock in itself and the way we were treated by the NHS definitely made things worse. Then I had a natural early MC and another MMC at the end of the first trimester but this time it was completely different because I knew what to expect and understood their procedures, plus I think they started feeling sorry for me after all this crap and they were a bit nicer and more open when talking things through. I wish we were all aware of how these things should be dealt with properly and why, it's an awful thing to go through and the last thing any woman needs is a rollercoaster of trying to find out some more information and understand what's going on when you're in the middle of it. I think had we all known more, going through loss which unfortunately is very common would be easier and we'd feel far more in agreement with it.

I just think it's one of those things where again our rights as women are at the bottom of yhe list, without trying to sound political or start any arguments at all. It's just that I think we should be the primary consideration in terms of our welfare when it comes to maternity because we're so vulnerable then, and yet it's just not always the case.

On an entirely separate and much lighter note, this morning I was rolling in bed and couldn't get comfy because of nausea keeping me awake and I came across articles online about Lauren Goodger being pregnant. I'm not a fan, but I looked at the photos and she's supposedly around 12 weeks now so similar to us, but she looks around 5-6 months gone to me! 😳 Has anyone seen her pictures? I am bloated but gosh, I don't have any bump yet at all! It's her first baby too! I started wondering what to expect next, is this a thing that you suddenly "pop" at the end of the first trimester?

@PurplePansy05 in a situation where women's health care needs are as neglected as they are (especially with covid) you almost can't help but get political! I'm lucky enough not to have had to consider it from a miscarriage point of view at the moment, but the stories I've heard about maternity care over the past year or so just really seem to show what happens when the people in charge are more interested in themselves than other people. Obviously pubs etc aren't open at the moment but it's just ridiculous that for months pubs were open and you could go on a shoot for a jolly with 30 mates while women were still being denied support at scans and during labour and birth (which is still happening, we've heard so many examples of that just on this thread!). Phew, feel better for that little rant!

I'd not seen the pics of Lauren Goodger but I had a look and you're so right, she looks much further along than the first trimester! Odd how it hits everyone differently, I'm like you, a bit bloated (and I think my boobs are bigger) but otherwise nothing in the way of bump yet!

@PurplePansy05 reading that really made my heart hurt, I’m so sorry your losses. I’m really sorry to hear that the nhs didn’t give you all the information as well- you’d think that would be standard?
And totally agree with you as to rights- I feel like I’m partly to blame for that as a member of society, ashamedly I never really followed pregnancy matters and now I’m going through it I’m surprised that things aren’t different. I expressed surprised
at how little contact you get in the early days and saw a post that basically said yeah but it’s not cost effective for the nhs to see people pre 12 weeks because of the MC rates... but then I wondered if all these women were ever offered any support? Again I think maybe I expect a lot but I’ve never felt so crap and vulnerable all the same time! Then I followed pregnant and screwed on Instagram and felt more outraged!!

But as you say, lighter topic! Lauren, so I had to check the daily mail but she looks properly pregnant! I skimmed that she was due in July, could it be early July? I guess bumps really are all very different. My stomach is still pretty flat apart from that usual pooch bit but... I really hope I get a bump!

👀 does anyone here live in Essex near Lauren G!?! Would be interesting to be on that maternity ward....

😂😂😂 I am guessing the Essex maternity ward must be the most glamorous in the country! You can't exactly hide either, I imagine lots of gossip! Anyway I am feeling sorry for future mums to be in SE/near-ish London, I have heard that hospitals there have been badly hit, hopefully not maternity services though. I read now LG is 14 weeks, if I pop like this in 3.5 weeks time maybe I should do some online shopping 😳

Thank you for your kind words I sometimes feel we as women are really left to fend for ourselves, to just go through all these big things, good or bad, on our own. And that is a very sad consideration. This is why fora like this one are so incredibly important, it's a huge eye opener and also a source of support that so often is missing.

it’s not cost effective for the nhs to see people pre 12 weeks because of the MC rates

This! Is something that makes my blood boil. I have family in several other European countries and all I hear is how they are scanned at 6 weeks (NHS equivalent), how progesterone is offered as standard, how all pregnancies are consultant led and have many more regular appointments, how women can take paid time off if they're unwell in pregnancy, how SMP is proportionately much higher than in the UK and it makes me so angry! Unfortunately, a lot of people here seem to think that the NHS is a holy grail, near perfect, but maternity wise it is not. It is cut to the bare bone and below and nowhere near enough support is offered in the first trimester, in healthy pregnancies or in MC, no bereavement support, no sufficient post-natal support. I have friends who had their first babies with zero follow up visits from anyone and no one able to come and show them what to do with the baby. Now this is worse because of covid, but then it's never been brilliant. My close friend had a baby 2 years ago after several losses and no one asked her how she was coping. What's actually happened, she had PND resulting from the grief she was still dealing with and no helped her, she had to pluck out £40/£50 per hour for private therapy whilst on shitty SMP.

This makes me so angry. I think it's so easy to go cuckoo at any point in pregnancy or post birth and so important to have a supportive group around, much like this one, to be able to talk openly and ground yourself.

Hey everyone! Hope you dont mind me joining in😀 this is my first pregnancy, due August the 15th

😂 it surely must be glamorous! Oh I’m in London and what I’m reading is pretty scary. The place I am with is a dedicated maternity hospital (maybe they all are? I’m not sure if that’s a stupid comment) but part of me hoped that means you’re only going in there if you’re dealing with pregnant women or babies so they’re careful? I hope anyway. I asked the midwife at my booking appointment if it would be her I see/speak to again and she said no, probably not, they’re very busy so it’s whoever is free and I probably wouldn’t speak to the same person twice. So I asked if they’d noticed a covid baby boom and she said no, less than normal, they’re just always too busy...

And don’t get me wrong I am incredibly appreciative for the NHS, especially in this pandemic, truly, but it’s very unpopular to say you had anything experience less than stellar. I’ve had friends who have had really bad experiences, ultimately they’re over stretched and under funded. Which does concern me! I looked at the private wing (where Kate Middleton etc give birth) and it indicates it’s £6k but looking into it, it’s more like £25k with consultants. I can’t afford it and I wondered if the care would be that much better? But its things like my friend wanted an epidural, no anaesthetist around, it took 17 hours and she was given pethodin eventually. That worries me!

Awful to hear about the PND! I thought you were meant to have health visitors and support after birth? Admittedly I don’t really know much and I’ll properly research once I’ve had the scan (on the assumption all is ok!)

Interesting to hear about other countries, I’ve only really compared with the states where to have to pay to give birth and there’s no maternity leave!!!

Anyway I’ve gone off on one...

@Mae19 congratulations and welcome!!! Lots of August babies, so nice to see! 🥰

@Thisisbananas3 I know what you mean, there's no continuity in care. I am now left with nothing, no longer with the RMC because they've done their bit (the two scans), midwife took 3 weeks to do my booking appt, she's lovely to be fair, but doesn't know what my care will look like in the second trimester. I should be consultant led but no names, appointments or contact details have been given, no info if I'll have more appointments because of that, I don't know what to expect. I might miss something I should be getting done because I've not even been told. It's so odd.

Anyway, let's cross the 12 week bridge and then we'll hopefully find out more and I'm sure second and third time mums on here will share their wisdom too

Had our private scan today! Measuring exactly as I thought at 8+1 so very happy with that. Only thing that was a bit scary is they found a cyst on one of my ovaries. The lady did reassure me nothing to worry about and after a bit of research I feel a lot better about it!

@Thisisbananas3 I've been at the receiving end of brilliant maternity care with the NHS when it mattered. My last pregnancy did not end well but I can hand in heart say that there was nothing the NHS or anyone else could have done to change the outcome. I saw the genuine tears in consultants eyes when breaking bad news.
Okay so sometimes left & right hand weren't fully communicative, I had many a long wait in waiting rooms but I'm okay with that. I have every faith I'm in good hands this time around too. (Unless I get the same scouse MW inducing me and her stealth sweeps... that's a whole other story 😂)

@PurplePansy05 everything should be made apparent at 12 week appointment. Your booking in was done by (I imagine) a community MW, whereas the consultant and their team of MWs will sit within the hospital. Your scan will be completed by the sonographer, afterwards you'll likely have an appointment with a MW to discuss ongoing needs. They'll make any appointments with your consultant that are necessary.x

@PurplePansy05 ah I thought the RMW might do a bit more. But yeah I’m with you, if something happens I know I need to call a&e, no details for the MW. I was in hospital at the weekend cos I needed a drip and that was through the Drs. But anyway you’re right, 12 week scan and let’s see what happens!!!

@ame88 ah what a lovely scan! So 4 week count down for the next one?!

Thank you @alittlexmasmagic 😊 That's very reassuring. 2 weeks left to go now, hope time goes fast!

Congratulations @ame88, I'm very glad it went well for you

@Alittlexmasmagic thanks, that’s really good to hear!!! I think it’s also really easy to focus on the horror stories and forget the positives, because that’s what plays on your mind! It’s also the great unknown. Sorry to hear about your last pregnancy.

Also good to read about the position at 12 weeks, honestly I am so appreciative for this thread, the support and wisdom! Thank you!

Had a lovely scan today as well. It's sooo much of a difference going from 6 weeks to 10 weeks! Last time I had scans at 6, 8, 12. So I was expecting something more blobby than human-shaped! Could see the little legs and arms wiggling around!

@Mae19 hey! I just joined the thread too. Due 31st august

@BertieBotts that is such a lovely picture!
I'm so tempted to go for a 10 week now!!
12 week scan in for the 18th Feb

@ame88 @BertieBotts lovely pics, you must both be so relieved xx

@ame88 @BertieBotts Lovely scan photos! 😍

@JuFrance Welcome ☺️ Our Facebook group is ‘Sunday of Summer’ x

I have been totally floored by a persistent headache today, haven’t had a bad one at all so far so it was bound to hit, but damn 😩 haven’t even got dressed today!

@ame88 don't worry about the cyst! They found one when I started IVF which had burst by halfway through the cycle. I actually think I felt it when it happened. Then they found another on my 8 week scan that was 18mm! Hoping it'll be gone by my 12 week scan next week if last time is anything to go by.

[quote BananaHammock23]@ame88 don't worry about the cyst! They found one when I started IVF which had burst by halfway through the cycle. I actually think I felt it when it happened. Then they found another on my 8 week scan that was 18mm! Hoping it'll be gone by my 12 week scan next week if last time is anything to go by.[/quote]
That's good to know! Mine seems quite big by the scan (4cmish) but she didn't seem concerned and just said they'll keep an eye on it!
It's just when you hear the word cyst you think the worst especially when I just thought I would see baby!