Breast or bottle? First time mum

[ChloeR12]

Hey everyone. I'm 22 and currently expecting my first child in June next year. One big question is breast or bottle? I know there is pros and cons to each... but I'm just wondering if anyone could give me some real natural and helpful advice? I know this is a selfish point also but I'm worried about my poor boobies after breastfeeding!!!

I'm leaning towards breast feeding as the baby can get so many more nutrients and bonding time from breastfeeding etc... but do the cons outweigh the pros? If I do decide to breastfeed can anyone tell me what I may need to assist with this? I'm in UK :)

Thanks so much in advance for all your advice!

Honestly in the nicest way, these threads never go well😂 a massive breast vs bottle debate will begin and detract from your original question.

Your boobs won’t be affected at all my breastfeeding, research the health benefits and consider the fact it’s instant and you don’t need to do any of the sterilising, making bottles etc. Also consider the fact, it can be hard work to establish, takes patience and may mean you are solely responsible for feeding the baby for the first 6 months or so until you introduce solids.

Bottle feeding.. someone can always help you, baby potentially less dependent on just you, consider the cost of formula and the preparation of bottles and milk.

It’s completely personally, no right or wrong. I’d say have a look on the Kelly mom website for good breastfeeding advice and maybe see if you can attend an education session if it’s what you decide to do.

I think you won't really know what's best until you have your baby.

Breast feeding takes practice and both you and your baby have to learn to do it. It also depends on how comfortable you are breast feeding in front of other people.

I'm a big fan of breastfeeding for many reasons (bonding, antibodies etc)including that its less faff than bottle feeding as nothing to sterilise, nothing to prepare, v portable and nappies much less smelly.

But and a big but, I also get that it just doesn't seem to work or is not easy for some people. You have to do what works for you.

My advice would always be to try breastfeeding first if you are unsure. As a general rule it is easier to seap from breast to bottle than vice versa, especially in the early weeks. There are exceptions of course, but that's how it is for most people. Plus that way your baby gets colostrum - the first milk that you make before your mature milk comes in a few days after birth. This is particularly high in antibodies and is highly nutritious so even if you swap to bottles after a few feeds it is still beneficial.
Regarding what you need for breastfeeding, actually very little that you need to buy. I would just say that you need a couple of nursing bras and some breastpads to soak up leakage to start with. Your breasts will leak early on but it often settles down after the first few weeks so don't buy huge amounts. But far more important than things you need to buy are knowledge and support. There are lots of books on the market , of varying quality but to be honest you can find out lots for free on the internet. Stick to reputable sources such as the Breastfeeding Network or LLL. The American website Kellymom also has lots of good information but some of what they say isn't relevant to the UK because of different healthcare systems etc. But the technical breastfeeding info is good. Also get the numbers of the national helplines and any local support groups before you need them. You might sail through it of course, but if you nerd advice it is good to know where to get it from.
Good luck whatever you decide, and all the best for your pregnancy and beyond.

My boobs aren't any worse after breastfeeding... Just to add 🤣

It’s so personal that no one can really tell you one way or another

Some people take to breastfeeding and love doing it, some people don’t want to breastfeed at all so go straight to a bottle, some people want to breastfeed but struggle to do it...and about a million different scenarios in between

Personally if you’re unsure either way, try breastfeeding and see how you go. You might love it, hate it, find it easy or hard. Unfortunately there’s no way of know before baby arrives

I breastfed both my sons, but stopped after 8 & 10 weeks as I found mentally very difficult and it was making me feel very resentful every time I had to feed them. I reasoned to myself that I’d given the best start and I needed to start looking after myself as well so I swapped to formula

It’s your choice either way - there’s no right or wrong way

Good luck

For a lot of reasons, I put breastmilk in bottles. It’s another option........

(Not really fun, and annoying when you get lectured by strangers telling you “breast is best” and eyeing up what they assume is formula smugly. I’d ask them to go wash my breast pump. )

Is second the advice above about looking on the Kelly Mom website, lots of good advice there.

I think you’re approaching it with an open mind which is the best way I think! Both breast and formula feeding have their positives and negatives, it’s a very personal decision and depends on both you and baby.
Personally I was a ‘reluctant’ breast feeder I.e I fully intended to formula feed but breastfeeding worked out (eventually) after trying it. So I’d say you’ve got to try it and see and never, ever let anyone tell you HOW to feed your baby. That is your decision alone and you should be proud however you choose to do it.

Best of luck when the time comes!

First of all, this is a such a personal choice so please don't feel pressured either way.

I bottle fed both of my first, and didn't even try breast feeding. I just wasn't comfortable with it and I wanted their dad to be able to help take some of that load off me by helping with feeding. Both are fine and I don't feel like they were any worse off from my decision. I also found that they settled into a routine quicker compared to my bf'ing friends. That being said I do know that there are lots of benefits to bf'ing and i do feel like i lost out a little in terms of bonding so I will be trying it with my 3rd.

In regards to my boobs, mine were affected by pregnancy full stop. My bf breastfed and her boobs are absolutely fine! Mine just got so big during pregnancy and deflated a bit afterwards due to the weight loss so I'm not as convinced any more that the changes that we see are purely down to how we feed our babies.

There’s so many threads about this and they never end well.

I would do some googling on benefits of breastfeeding and then the same for bottle feeding.

Hope I don't derail this thread but hopefully OP will find this useful to know too. FTM to be as well so I'm ignorant atm. When people say they find breastfeeding really hard, what is the most difficult bit? I know latching can be very hard at first eg due to tongue tie or other issues but once that's sorted... What else? Is it mainly sore nipples and the fact you have to be the sole feeder so always the one up at night? And social taboos for some? It's just I read so many stories about how people found breastfeeding so so challenging but it's never really clear why, if that makes sense.

If you can’t get to a support group- advice videos on YouTube etc can be very good in terms of advice with latching- when babies are first born and tiny it can be a faff while they learn to latch properly. Then the faffing can lead to sore nipples and a bit of a downward spiral. I found watching videos over and over on how to latch really helped me. Also mumsnet has very good threads for specific issues. For what it’s worth i tried with my first , struggled, didn’t get help and ended up mostly formula feeding. Got lots of help breast feeding with my second and it went really well. Both kids turned out healthy! A breast pump is also very useful so other people can give the baby a bottle. As others have said, I would give it a go, see how you get on.

In my opinion luckyelephant breast feeding is harder in the first few weeks - it’s physically draining- the baby has to feed little and often and it has to be you so you end up very tired. Also putting a baby on sore nipples can be a really uncomfortable and unhappy experience . Once you are in the swing of it I found breast feeding better as it was so convenient, and also a very positive experience. To be honest my main issue was I knew so little I was expecting it to be easy and when it wasn’t at first I didn’t really know how to sort myself out.

I wasn’t worried about feeding in public - it’s possible to be very discreet with a scarf etc and where we are, lots of cafes are breast feeding friendly.

Breastfeeding didn't really effect my boob's, pregnancy definitely changed my body but that would have happened however I fed. The way I see it is you only get one chance to breastfeed (without added difficulty) so you might as well try. You can always swap to formula, even if it's 2am and you decide BF isn't working, any 24h supermarket will have what you need to get started. However if you start off ff, then regret that decision it's very difficult to start bf later on.

Personally I found breastfeeding relatively easy. I had some pain for the first few weeks, but non from about 6 weeks in, once you get started it's so much easier.

My best advice is to just see what happens, I breast fed my first for a bit but my nipples got so sore I switched to bottles and expressing, second time around I was determined to breastfeed but my son was allergic to milk so had to stop and switch to prescription milk in a bottle.

I’d say try breastfeeding because it’s cheaper and great for bonding but don’t worry if you need to bottle feed, your boobs will only go saggy because of genetics not breastfeeding.

Totally personal choice and until baby is here you won’t know which path you will take. But if you’re open to breastfeeding, it’s worth trying that first. I’m not going to paint a beautiful picture of it, people tell you how natural it is, how much easier it is than making up a bottle etc. I actually found it a bloody hard slog! We are 7 months in now and it’s so easy, but the first 10 weeks for me were hard work. We had trouble latching, cluster feeding was such hard work and there were times when I could have just given up. But we did it and now I’m so pleased. I’ve always introduced a bottle once a day right from the start too as so many people have difficulties switching over at some point.

It's probably best waiting and see what works best for you when the time comes. My milk didn't come in for a while so used some pre made formula milk (recommend you have a couple of these in case things don't work out breastfeeding) and now do a combination of expressing breast milk and formula ( baby will no longer breast feed). I think soon I'll switch to just formula as I just can't find time in the day to be pumping with a clingy baby.

I was also told it's not breastfeeding that ruins your boobs it's pregnancy (I actually like mine more at the moment)

@Luckyelephant1

Both mine were tongue tied so before this was picked up feeling was very painful. My nipples were cracked and bleeding for weeks.
I then got mastitis 3 times then the antibiotics gave me nipple thrush.
Babies cluster feed in the early weeks this can be feeding for hours and hours on end.
Feeding throughout the night is hard.

@Luckyelephant1 I found it physically quite easy (after the initial cracked nipples passed) and both babies took to it really well. But (and I don’t think this is often mentioned as it’s normally the opposite) but I found it very mentally difficult. It wasn’t the fact that it was constant feeding (as formula made no difference to the frequency of feeds), it was more that every time they latched on I felt awful - angry, anxious, slightly resentful of DH and the babies (which I know is irrational). As soon as they finished feeding it went away. So I made the decision to stop and as soon as I did I felt better

For most people they find breast feeding bonding, but for me it wasn’t. Well that’s not strictly true. When they were initially born I had the urge to feed both of them myself and that stayed for about 4 weeks. After that point what I describe above crept in.

@Luckyelephant1

Hope I don't derail this thread but hopefully OP will find this useful to know too. FTM to be as well so I'm ignorant atm. When people say they find breastfeeding really hard, what is the most difficult bit? I know latching can be very hard at first eg due to tongue tie or other issues but once that's sorted... What else? Is it mainly sore nipples and the fact you have to be the sole feeder so always the one up at night? And social taboos for some? It's just I read so many stories about how people found breastfeeding so so challenging but it's never really clear why, if that makes sense.

To make breastfeeding work, your baby needs to cluster feed- i.e. suck at your breasts for long periods of time. In the first few weeks this can easily be for 6 hours at a time or more. It’s completely normal and nature’s way of making sure your body makes enough milk. But when you’re bleeding, exhausted from the birth and just want some space it can seem much easier to just give them a bottle, which may satisfy them for 2-3 hours. That was the difficult part I didn’t expect and why I quit breastfeeding. Also, if you’re shy feeding in public (I was!) then it’s really hard to take baby anywhere as they may decide they feel like a mammoth cluster feeding session halfway round Sainsbury’s.

OP - if you’re interested in the science of the pros and cons, I really recommend Emily Oster’s amazing book Cribsheet which looks at what the studies we have actually say about breast vs bottle.

Hope this doesn't turn into a bunfight!

I breastfed DC1 until he turned 2 and I'm now breastfeeding DC2. With DC1 I did express so DH (and others) could give a bottle when I needed a break. Also gave some formula when I went back to work, so I wasn't completely against formula.

For me, the benefits of breastfeeding outweighed the negatives which is why I'm doing it again for DC2.

Pros

• lots of health benefits for baby and mother; this is a key factor for me. Breast milk contains antibodies against illness, it's easier for babies to digest than formula (so it can reduce issues like reflux, wind, constipation, allergies etc)
• convenience. Not having to take bottles when out and about. Not having to prepare, wash and sterilise bottles. So easy just to whip out a boob!
• related to the above, can feed baby at night without having to get out of bed, a bedside crib is great for this
• oxytocin. I've struggled with PND with both babies and the oxytocin boost from breastfeeding helped me to feel good and to bond with my babies (nb I am NOT saying that mums who don't breastfeed don't bond with their babies as I know they do! Just that it helped/helps me personally to bond when I was/am struggling)
• parenting a baby involves feeding and changing nappies and that's pretty much it... so if you're sharing tasks with DH/DP, you can get him to do nappies as you're breastfeeding... definitely the nicer job my DH also gets on with other jobs while I'm breastfeeding eg cooking, washing up etc

Cons

• Related to the above, because only I can breastfeed, it's an unequal division of labour, and while I like breastfeeding, it is sometimes a bit annoying to be stuck under the baby and not do other things, plus I become default parent who looks after the baby while DH does other things (nb this is probably true of most mothers on maternity leave whether they breastfeed or formula feed). This can create tension and resentment between us. But mostly works ok as we accept our roles.
• no break from baby unless you express milk or combination feed with formula and can persuade baby to take a bottle

I'm not sure whether formula fed babies sleep better than breastfed babies or whether that's just a myth... it is definitely possible to have good sleepers that are breastfed and bad sleepers that are formula fed, not sure whether there are any studies or stats on it.

This website has some interesting information about the science of breast milk and breastfeeding
www.human-milk.com/

Damn I forgot to add the main CON of breastfeeding which is that it can be difficult to establish in the beginning. Cluster feeding can be absolutely brutal. Plus my first had tongue tie and my second had latch issues so I struggled with both and had to get breastfeeding support. It was very very hard but I felt it was worth it in the end as breastfeeding was easy after I overcame those issues. However I wouldn't judge anyone who can't or doesn't want to continue breastfeeding if it is too difficult.

@Willow4987 thanks that's really interesting, I guess that's what I meant in terms of why so difficult- the mental aspects never seem to be fully explored when you read up, only the physical. At the moment I'm (probably naively) really looking forward to bf, I don't anticipate it being easy but in my head it's the ultimate way to bond with a baby. But it's interesting to hear about the mental health side of things, always good to be aware of especially as I'm quite an emotional person in general!

My advice is to do lots of research. Even NCT classes don’t prepare you for the reality of breastfeeding. I laugh at the thought of my NCT teacher saying babies feed every 3 hours!

From a personal point of you, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I wouldn’t change that special time for the world. The bond is just amazing and there is nothing else like it, yes, it can be hard but for me I think it’s worth it.

Just be prepared for it to be painful for 1-2 weeks, and your baby to want to cluster feed constantly! This is all normal and will settle down. Also learn to feed lying down, and put on cream before and after each feed.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

"my son was allergic to milk so had to stop and switch to prescription milk in a bottle"

Just to point out (for OP and others) that if your baby has cow's milk protein allergy (CMPA) you don't have to switch to hypoallergenic formula, you can continue breastfeeding but have to cut out dairy from your diet. Which is very hard! (I am now doing it for the second time.) I can understand why some would choose to switch to hypoallergenic formula even though I chose not to.

You really have to make this decision for yourself OP. Nobody can make it for you.
I breast fed for 6 weeks and hated it, so I went on to bottles and felt so much happier.