Breast or bottle? First time mum

[ChloeR12]

Hey everyone. I'm 22 and currently expecting my first child in June next year. One big question is breast or bottle? I know there is pros and cons to each... but I'm just wondering if anyone could give me some real natural and helpful advice? I know this is a selfish point also but I'm worried about my poor boobies after breastfeeding!!!

I'm leaning towards breast feeding as the baby can get so many more nutrients and bonding time from breastfeeding etc... but do the cons outweigh the pros? If I do decide to breastfeed can anyone tell me what I may need to assist with this? I'm in UK :)

Thanks so much in advance for all your advice!

I found breastfeeding a doddle for the first 2 weeks and then a painful struggle for the next 2 and then a fast, easy way to feed for the next year.

Never had to dash home because I had only taken enough milk for 2 feeds out or forgotten a teat etc. It was easy, efficient, flexible. And a lovely experience to look down and share secret giggles with feeding baby, tickling his toes etc.

I'm sure breastfed babies only wake more and they are so used to an immediate response whereas formula babies learn to wait right from day 1. So parents just get a bit more used to hearing them cry and are less effected. My baby was never left to cry for even 10 seconds, that would be impossible if i needed to run down and make a bottle.

[quote Floralnomad]@harrietm1987 I’m not saying breast feeding doesn’t aid bonding what I’m saying is that it’s perfectly possible to be as bonded with your baby without breastfeeding , it’s not an essential . There are people who choose to bottle feed and there are people like myself who have no choice , you can still do plenty of skin to skin with your baby etc .[/quote]
That’s fine then - I was just responding to the bit of your post that said “I’m heartily fed up with reading posts that say breastfeeding aids bonding with your baby” - it might not be nice for you to read it if you wanted to bf and weren’t able to for whatever reason but it’s just a fact (and presumably one of the reasons why you wanted to do it in the first place). You can talk about the positives of bf without it being any comment on formula. Of course people who formula feed bond with their babies.

@ShinyShooney - I’d never heard of it when I had my DC’s. I was physically close when giving their bottles although the person who loved giving bottles the best was DFil - the look on his face when feeding DC’s was the most amazing look in the world.

I do think the bond is different, not less, you don’t love your baby any differently, but there is a special connection there- after all your body is sustaining another little human. It’s the same reason co sleeping is only recommended if you breastfeed.

It can be quite hard to celebrate breastfeeding sometimes- it doesn’t mean any negativity towards formula or that it is the wrong choice. I think generally your experience of early motherhood will be very different depending on whether you BF or use formula.

Well I’m obviously the exception then as I co slept with both of ours without breastfeeding .

@ChloeR12 I have small boobs which I loved, and I BF my 1st and my boobs remained the same (still nice :P ).

BF is way easier, you don't have to worry about amount sterilisation water bottles cleaning etc etc - I'm having 2nd and doing this again.

It hurts at first but it's SO much easier if you are sporty and out and about - just so much freedom! Love it.

@Floralnomad

Well I’m obviously the exception then as I co slept with both of ours without breastfeeding .

I co-slept with DD too (she had her breastmilk exclusively in bottles).

I’l still breastfeeding my 14month old. He’s my first baby. These are my pros and cons for breastfeeding. Cons : it did hurt a bit to start with. The first time baby latched on didn’t hurt. But after a while it became a bit like a pair of shoes that rub your feet. And there wasn’t a huge gap between feeds to start with so I really needed to slather my nipples in lanolin after every feed. That pain went away as soon as my milk came in (3rd night after he was born). For the first maybe 3 weeks I found letdown painful (like the first 30seconds of each feed) but after that it didn’t hurt at all. A few people have been a bit weird about me still feeding after 6months. This is partly because I am in France and although quite a few women feed newborns here, most stop when they go vack to work, often after 3months. It helps knowing people who have breastfed longer and whobcan talk to you about it-for me that’s my mum. Pros : convenience, cheaper than buying formula. Antibodies. Antibodies are not just hypothetically nice to have they can really make life less stressful. My partner and I both had some nasty vomiting bug when baby was 2months old and our son didn’t get sick at all. And a major one for me - breastfeeding feels good. I think that’s what pps are trying to say about bonding being different when you breastfeed. Breastfeeding gives you an oxytocin high. It’s part of the physical process. It makes me feel immediately happy and often a bit sleepy and it very obviously has the same effect on my baby. If you do decide to breastfeed I highly recommend learning how to feed lying down - look up the safer cosleeping guidelines. This is helpful even if you aim to have baby sleeping in their cot or crib and don’t want to co-sleep I found it much easier to relax when I knew everything would be ok if I did fall asleep for a bit before putting my baby back in his cot.

Not really relevant to the thread but co sleeping isn’t recommended if you formula feed because you sleep more deeply (and are less aware of your baby while you’re asleep) than if you are breastfeeding. Obviously just guidance and your choice to cosleep if you formula feed.

Breastfeeding also lowers the risk of SIDS.

My DC’s (formula fed) slept in their cots from the start but became co sleepers when they were about five. They would creep into our bed and we usually couldn’t be bothered to get up and carry them back to their bed. Sometimes both DT’s would be in with us - not great but the phase didn’t last long although I worked away quite often and they would always get in with DH then. He was the softy.

Breastfeeding was a real struggle for the first two weeks (struggle to latch, lost weight, had to pump and top up every 3 hours which was awful), but after that first horrendous time became so easy and convenient in a lot of ways (could feed while eating lunch with friends at a restaurant, could go out without having to plan how I'd feed baby, could literally roll over in bed pop baby on and then put back in their cot/co-sleep safely without having to get up). I never introduced a bottle successfully, which actually meant the few times we left our little one with someone it actually was a nightmare, but that's something I could easily have done if I'd just put the work in to introduce a bottle a day early on or something, just never thought about it till too late. I also experienced very little pain and discomfort, but know plenty of people who've had more issues.

However, everyone experiences things differently and what works for one person won't work for another. All I would say is make sure you have people to support you whatever you do, and if that is breastfeeding, make sure you reach out if you need help. It can be soul-destroying if things don't work straight away, especially with lack of sleep and baby blues. I would never have gotten through without my husband, my mum and the breastfeeding specialist at the hospital (that and YouTube videos giving advice on bf positions and how to spot a good latch).

There is no clear yes or no, you do whatever you can do. Your baby will be healthy and happy either way.

My son (9 months now) only breastfed for 6 months. I had to give him "top up" on formula because he wasn't gaining weight enough just on breastmilk. BUT I am soooooooo happy I pushed to keep breast feeding because I got to witness how AMAZING this stuff is. My 4 year old came down with ChickenPox and I was freaking out that my 2 month old baby was exposed to this... well my GP was like, "no worries if you had it then the breast milk gives him the antibodies." She was right! He never caught the chickenpox even with my 4 year old kissing him and touching him. So if you can.. do try to feed him for a few months. My first born was BF until 18 months and my second was only 6 because he just preferred the bottle. You can never really plan these things. Just do your best, everything will fall into place naturally.

Lots of lovely advice here. I’m glad it hasn’t turned in to a blood bath 🙈
I bottle fed from the off, had no real urge to breast feed so decided to go for formula, plus my partner was keen to do his fair share and the thought Of expressing and things just didn’t appeal to me. We now have a wonderfully happy and healthy 5 year old 🥰 there’s pros and cons to both breast and bottle. Read up, ask questions and Follow your heart and do what you think will be best for you and baby 😘 xx

Gosh I feel the same way! However it was very hard for me to latch my newborn. He is now 4 weeks and I am giving him breast milk via pump. Gave up on latching and now thinking to try again but not give up hope too easily.

If you’re interested in videos on how to help with breastfeeding globalhealthmedia.org/videos/breastfeeding/
have some good ones. Short and to the point. They break it down into different issues and have useful advice.

@ShinyShooney

I found breastfeeding a doddle for the first 2 weeks and then a painful struggle for the next 2 and then a fast, easy way to feed for the next year.

Never had to dash home because I had only taken enough milk for 2 feeds out or forgotten a teat etc. It was easy, efficient, flexible. And a lovely experience to look down and share secret giggles with feeding baby, tickling his toes etc.

I'm sure breastfed babies only wake more and they are so used to an immediate response whereas formula babies learn to wait right from day 1. So parents just get a bit more used to hearing them cry and are less effected. My baby was never left to cry for even 10 seconds, that would be impossible if i needed to run down and make a bottle.

Lol, that's one way of putting a positive spin on the constant waking and feeding of bf babies, first time I've heard that one. Normally people just pretend bf babies sleep just as well as FF ones.