Summer '20 Grads Part IV

[SmileyT]

@Blondi3 💚10th October EDD 25th May
@Mococo1 💚11th October 🧡 12th November EDD 29th March
@littleRa 🧡 14th October EDD 8th March
@Mustbemad82 ❤️ 15th October EDD 20th April
@MrsEmilyB ❤️ 15th October EDD 29th April
@Dipsy77 🧡🧡 26th October EDD 15th March
@smileyT 🧡 26th October EDD 15th March 💙 BOY
@Ltay2 💚9th November 🧡 20th November EDD 10th April
@blodyn91 🧡 20th November EDD 12th April

@cocoblue22 EDD 12th March 💙 BOY
@noble89 EDD 24th March
@mrsmummy1111 EDD 30th March
@zippityzip EDD 31st March 🤍 SURPRISE
@fairylights2 EDD 1st April
@eloise27 EDD 8th April
@samilicious EDD 10th April
@Lettie365 - EDD 11th April
@Madz123 EDD 13th April
@Catherinettc EDD 19th May
@Sophi123 EDD 20th May
@mrsI2020 EDD 22nd May
@Busybee143

💚 extra scans ❤️ 12w scans 🧡 20w scans 💙 Boy 💖Girl 🤍 Surprise

Hi Ladies,

Just catching up 😁 great to see you are all well. Had my screening letter through today (SO QUICK! scan was last Thursday) and we have a 1 in 10,000 chance of Downs, Edwards or Pataus which we are happy with considering I am 30 and he is 31.

@zippityzip - what an awkward situation! I really feel for you. When you do decide to talk to other half I massively recommend using the DEAR MAN technique I learned in therapy many years ago - it completely changed the way I managed difficult conversations where there may be resistance. I usually make notes if I can plan it in advance.

Also, I've applied to join our peanut group (please don't reject me 😂😍). I love peanut and its cringey tinder vibes. I've met a girl who lives literally a 2 min walk awau from me and due 2 weeks before! So that is lovely. Everyone has been pretty normal. My opener is usually "does this ever stop feeling like weird mum dating?" 😂

@MrsEmilyB I think your chances are actually a lot lower- I've spoken a few mums and found that if you are low low risk a lot of hospitals send out a generic letter and put the 1/10,000 for downs and 1/100,0000 for edwards/pataus rather than give you your actual risk based on your results- I think its the minimum generic risk based on normal measurements and blood at that level x

@zippityzip that is really awkward! And a big ask for of her! I would like everyone else has said - don't say anything just yet but you will need to eventually! Hopefully he sees it from his point of view however it is 'his mum' so it is bound to end in - bit of a disagreement but you are THE mum so anything he says you trump by default- and he will get over it 😁👍🏽

I'm lucky my MIL won't ever be watching the kids alone- she was very very strict and disciplined with my hubby and his sister, no way will she do that to my little one

I can't imagine you having to put your trust in her when you've already had bad experiences! Well done for compromising on the one day a week thing tho I think you have done more than enough already! So don't feel guilty about it at all xxx

He sees it from your point of view @zippityzip x

@zippityzip I think legs aka @mrsmummy1111 has nailed it. Don't let it become a conversation just make plans and say that you've already planned the childcare for baby but when baby is older can revisit it etc. It's your child MIL doesn't get an automatic right to babysit because their MIL.

It's yours and DHs call but seeing as you do it all, it's really your call Plus she hasn't asked yet has she so if you plan before she does then just say sorry but we've already made plans with your mom and child minder etc and you want a strict and consistent routine for baby etc x I think it will be fine don't even make it about not wanting her to have baby if you don't have to

@MrsEmilyB I've accepted you❤️

Hi all,

Have been lowing low for a while, mainly because been so anxious that things have/will go wrong again. Anyway, I caved and we went for a scan today. Measuring 9w2d and all looking good - looks fairly baby like! EDD of 23 May. Have booking in scan with midwife next week and 12 week scan on 12th November. Feeling slightly more relaxed this evening :).

Oh and now with scan pic attached!

@Sophi123 what a cute scan and you are an absolute stunner!!

@Sophi123 aww yay I always think about you and wonder how you're getting on - we're 4 days sort in EDD and how far along we are ❤️

Glad you're feeling better as you thought it was all over for you a few weeks ago didn't you. Try and relax now ❤️

Apart not sort*

welcome @Sophi123 😚 beautiful scan!!

Also, one of my customers partner gave birth over the weekend. It was their first. She had some pains on Sat night but went to bed as normal, got up in the middle of the night for the toilet and realised the baby was coming! Midwife got there and baby delivered in their bathroom within 2hrs!
She did Hypobirthing, and because it was at home her own midwife and partner there and obviously partner didn't have to leave.
really swaying for a home birth now!

@blodyn91 my wife had our daughter at home it was a fantastic birth and we said we would do it again.
Some things went wrong after the birth deffo not related to the home birth which I won't share as I don't want to scare anyone and put anyone off but for that reason I don't think we will do it again.
I would definitely recommend it though, it's a lovely experience.

[quote Busybee143]@blodyn91 my wife had our daughter at home it was a fantastic birth and we said we would do it again.
Some things went wrong after the birth deffo not related to the home birth which I won't share as I don't want to scare anyone and put anyone off but for that reason I don't think we will do it again.
I would definitely recommend it though, it's a lovely experience.[/quote]
@Busybee143 If it's not too personal and you don't mind sharing, would you PM me? (Unless everyone else doesn't mind hearing the story. Totally understand you don't want to scare people!)

I'm seriously considering a home birth (my mum had my younger siblings at home and NDN just had a home birth and they brought an inflatable birthing pool! Bliss) and I'm just absolutely petrified they will make the restrictions harsher again and I'll spend most of the birth alone in hospital. I want to at least explore the option of a home birth so that I have options.

yes same as @mrsmummy1111 love hearing stories!
The thought of going along is stressful, and stress is not good! Will just slow down the whole birth. Might not be in that position by next April, but good to know the options. This woman I just spoke about, hadn't planned on a home birth, it just happened 😆

I love home birth stories! I wouldn't have one myself, at least not this time, I think I'd find it more stressful with 2 noisy cats shouting at the door wanting to be with me and a dickhead neighbour that complains when even a door accidentally slams, never mind someone birthing a baby potentially in the middle of the night 😅 but other people's stories sound so peaceful!

Morning all, just had a lie in well I'm usually up at 5am with dd and this morning after a 4am feed she didn't wake up until 7.15!!.

I've asked to join the peanut group not sure if I have a profile picture I'll have to look at the app xx

Sorry girls accepted you to the group clearly I'm rubbish at admin duty hahaha x

I also don't get put off by scary birth stories I think it's good to know what can happen good and bad x

@Sophi123 yay to another successful scan ❤️❤️

@blodyn91 the book I was reading actually said really we should think about all births as homebirths it's just some transfer to hospital before the birth/ some transfer afterwards and some never have to transfer but you should be prepared for all options. With the story you told regardless of what she had planned she gave birth at home and super quick so ultimately baby made the decision for her 😂

@Busybee143 I'm also okay hearing the story if you do want to share ☺️

Am I missing something about birthing alone in hospital...Wouldn't that only happen if you were induced/ having a csec/ there was complications meaning you needed to be monitored earlier and you wanted to go into hospital to do that? Which would be the same even if you planned a home birth. I thought that if you were in established labour (over 4cm) and went in you and your birth partner were allowed in, that's what my friend had when she gave birth in July and I haven't heard of people being left alone in a standard labour they could've done at home, does that happen? I've still got 11weeks before the MW even discusses birthing options with me but if I'd have nobody with me throughout labour that becomes an easy decision 👌🏾

@Dipsy77 yay to a lie-in, can't believe your LO is still up at 4am for a feed... my 3 nephews are such good sleepers I'm really hoping it's genetic and my little boy is too #wishfulthinking 😂

This (See photo) is the current regulations at my hospital- birth partners come in with you but once they leave the maternity area they are not allowed back in! There’s been tales on the Facebook page of birth partners going back out to the car to collect an extra bag etc and not being allowed back in! Also if you need to stay a night or two, you get fee but birth partner doesn’t so they need to take plenty of snacks and drinks as can’t come and go!

Some Facebook comments

And one more

@SmileyT it's completely different for every trust. My trust currently allows partners in for the whole birth but they cant leave the ward / birth centre. AT ALL. And they obv don't provide beds or anything so if labour lasted a long time then your partner is essentially stuck in the hospital with you unable to leave 🤣. They also currently aren't allowed to stay on the postnatal ward, meaning when I've had the baby my husband would be able to stay with us for a few hours but then he has to leave, and I have to spend the first night alone with the baby 😔

This is all new though. My friend gave birth there 3 months ago and partners were only allowed in from 4cm. She was induced and went through the whole thing alone, and they didn't measure her until she was 7cm then her husband was allowed in, but he only got there about an hour before the birth. She did the majority alone, then he had to leave before they went to postnatal ward. Depending on how things go, that might happen again (and is the current status in a lot of hospitals still to this day)

@SmileyT my 2nd was a brilliant sleeper but if I don't feed her at 4 we would be up for the day. She does go to bed at 6pm and I sometimes have to go in to put her dummy in (she likes to tuck them down the side of the cot !!) a few times but yea on my forums from when I had her she is good compared to what some mums are going through lol xx

@SmileyT My friend wasnt monitored properly, lucky she texted her partner telling him to head to hospital as they live over 30 mins drive away, by the time the midwife saw her and called the partner he was almost there and she was wheelchaired straight in, left in a room by her self, not even changed to her pjamas, shouting for help. Her partner ran in and baby was delivered 10 mins later. Her and baby were totally fine and didn't stay over night. If he would have been allowed in from the beginning he could have helped her get changed.
Hospital way under staffed was the biggest issue there. Same midwife doing over 12 hours and nobody covered her lunch brake.
If you live near the hospital or can get there quick its easier, but cant expect OH to sit in a car for hours waiting (but I know he would, so Ill just try and not go in till last minute). And as others have mentioned, when they leave they can't come back. So hospital bag needs to be filled with sandwiches snack, blankets and extra pillow.
Its such a strange rule 😫
🤞🤞 it all changes soon