Summer '20 Grads Part IV

[SmileyT]

@Blondi3 💚10th October EDD 25th May
@Mococo1 💚11th October 🧡 12th November EDD 29th March
@littleRa 🧡 14th October EDD 8th March
@Mustbemad82 ❤️ 15th October EDD 20th April
@MrsEmilyB ❤️ 15th October EDD 29th April
@Dipsy77 🧡🧡 26th October EDD 15th March
@smileyT 🧡 26th October EDD 15th March 💙 BOY
@Ltay2 💚9th November 🧡 20th November EDD 10th April
@blodyn91 🧡 20th November EDD 12th April

@cocoblue22 EDD 12th March 💙 BOY
@noble89 EDD 24th March
@mrsmummy1111 EDD 30th March
@zippityzip EDD 31st March 🤍 SURPRISE
@fairylights2 EDD 1st April
@eloise27 EDD 8th April
@samilicious EDD 10th April
@Lettie365 - EDD 11th April
@Madz123 EDD 13th April
@Catherinettc EDD 19th May
@Sophi123 EDD 20th May
@mrsI2020 EDD 22nd May
@Busybee143

💚 extra scans ❤️ 12w scans 🧡 20w scans 💙 Boy 💖Girl 🤍 Surprise

@Bl0ndi3
I'm scared of exercising too but I've got a scan on Thursday so I thought today would be good timing to try a run. When I say run my record is 5min per km but I would be aiming for 7 minute per km so I would be taking it very easy. I lift and throw dd quite often and run around with her which eases my mind a little. I sort of think now if a little run will make me miscarry would I have actually got to full term? Probably not, I know in my head running slowly is not dangerous to baby as I wouldn't even be breaking a sweat, I just need to do it now!!

Just caught up with this thread - love reading all your little blue and pink hearts & seeing scan pics!

@mrsmummy1111 my FIL is like your MIL - squeamish about anything baby related so got this cute lil scarf thing from Primark to cover up a bit when I'm over there. MIL never breast fed so he's bound to be a big weirdo about it.

Also, what is it about the Elvie that's better? My sister tagged me in something about it but the review were awful! Good advice on the feed btw - thank you

@SmileyT wow Greece looks fab! What was the temp like? Which part did you go to? Are we allowed to go abroad now if we're in the middle tier of Covid rules? I know you went before, just really book something for my DP's 30th in Jan. was looking at Tenerife but can't see it on the safe list now

@blodyn91 I'm 15+4 now - feel like it's a bit more blobby than before the weekend but I did emotional eat my way through a mountain of food sulking about the new lockdown measures 😂 so probs that

@Cocoblue22 another vote for H&M knickers 🖐🏻

I've requested to join the fb group 😀 makes me cringe every time I type my UN. It started as a joke on the iPhone gaming platform many years ago and I've lost all creativity since then for anything decent 😂

Also I have a private gender scan on Thursday (22nd) when I'll be exactly 16 weeks, so might not find anything but will let you know how it goes 😁 my official due date is 8th now

Just got a craving for (vegetarian) sausage mash veg and gravy lol how random

Hope it sticks around for later when it actually comes to eat 🤷🏼‍♀️

Exciting @samilicious !! You will almost definitely be able to find out at 16w. They give that date to be on the safe side but they can often tell earlier. We found out with DS at just over 15w.

Literally the only difference with elvie is that it's hands free, and discrete. So it gives you the option of doing it on the go, rather than sitting down and holding the pump. If you don't plan on expressing much I wouldn't bother but I give DS a bottle of express a day so was worth it for me. People give it bad reviews because it's inordinately expensive for a breast pump and I think people expects some bells and whistles and a gold plated unicorn to come with it. It doesn't. But it does exactly what it says on the tin, so it's worth the price for me.

Those girls concerned about your diet, please don't be! If there's one time you can eat whatever you want, it's during pregnancy. Of course, if you can stomach some fruit and veg then great, but truly you just need to do whatever you can you get through it and feel as alive as you can. If you fancy a burger or a curry, get one. And don't ever feel guilty for it. It's 9 months out of your life and if anyone thinks I'm eating broccoli bake when I'm the size of a house and just want McDonald's then they've got another thing coming.

@samilicious I did look up your due date and worked out you're only a few days ahead of me ☺️ Im still bumpless. Think I will be till Christmas 😂😂 my abs are refusing to give way!

yes agree @mrsmummy1111, besides cheese is good 😁 we need calcium!!
I ate a whole Terry's chocolate orange earlier.... Im going to have to stop buying it or ill be eating a whole one every day!
Im also craving smoked salon, and acctually drove to fetch some for lunch 🙈🙈

@mrsmummy1111 I like the sound of that advice thank you!
@blodyn91 correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure a chocolate orange counts as one of your 5 a day 😂
Right guys I've just done my first run since about 5 weeks. Ive done 2km at nearly 8 and a half minutes per km so nice and easy. So far everything seems OK, if I have a nice healthy pregnancy my goal is to build up to a 5k as pre pregnancy I was running 5-8k a most days. Any other running buddies on here?

That's great @Busybee143 !!! How did you feel? Was it harder than pre preg?

I'm not a gym goer but have always been a runner. I ran throughout my whole pregnancy with my son and plan on doing the exact same thing this time around. Don't get me wrong, it's absolutely nothing like before pregnancy, it takes some getting used to especially when your belly gets bigger but if you do it the whole way through you're eased in gently as your bump grows. I don't run long distances and run very slowly now as I get tired a lot quicker, but it's actually quite enjoyable to just go at your own pace and not feel like you're just being slow and shit. My friend is a PT and she always said pregnancy doesn't mean you don't have to exercise, quite the opposite, plan to continue doing whatever you did before and just tailor it to adapt to a bump.

@Busybee143 well done ❤️pre pregnancy I was only doing max 6km and 7:40 km. super slow haha!

I'm tempted to start easing myself into it once I feel a bit better in myself and before bump comes. Maybe a run/walk combo!

@mrsmummy1111 it was way harder than pre pregnancy, I didn't realise how much of a bump I had until I put my running belt on!! I felt good after I'd done it, I always find when I move more so like walk the dog or carry dd for ages I get increased ewcm, dnu if that's normal or not but it seems to be for me.
How far gone are you now? Are you currently running then?
Everytime I saw a runner I was getting jealous so I thought I had to bite the bullet and just go for it!

@Bl0ndi3 it's honestly taken me like 3 years to get to that pace, a long time haha! I did a long walk for a cool down once I'd done, I couldn't have run any earlier I don't think, I've been too tired.

I've just joined the peanut group as I don't have feb thank you for making it @Bl0ndi3 x

@Busybee143 I run ☺️ I haven't stopped at all, but cut down a lot! Past few weeks its just been the one run a week, around 6/7km. Being suffering with tail bone pain after the run. Need to improve my cool down and stretching I think. My pace is slowing week on week as well!
Im enjoying cycling a swimming over running atm just because of this pain 😫😫

@blodyn91 I honestly don't know how you ran through the rough weeks, well done you!! I can't believe how hard running is when pregnant 😂

Christ judging from the peanut group this forum is basically just a bunch of stunners that all gravitated together!!

Awesome ladies - and not jealous, not jealous of your abilities at all to exercise full stop let alone whilst pregnant and here I am eating monty bojangles on the sofa.

Ohhh I have done a grand total of 0 minutes exercise since getting pregnant 🐳 every week I tell myself THIS IS THE WEEK. Then nope. 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Busybee143 I've been lucky and never suffered much with nausea 😬😬 thats definitely helped me. Few days I felt hungover, but as you said walking the dog helps so much!
Also I have no kids! So feel like I have a lot more time than those of you who do!!
My sister called tonight, they are escaping the welsh lockdown and coming here over half term. We are keeping it a secret from everyone so they don't get hated 🙈 Can't wait to see my 2 nieces!
These lockdowns will never work will they

@zippityzip mmmm monty bojangles. Haven't been able to find them in the shop for ages

And runners - I'm trying to get into running again as part of my routine but it's proving harder and harder to find motivation 😒 I feel like if I can get fitter I will be able to just pop the baby out (no idea if there's any science to this) but barely even walk 4000 steps a day, some days it's 1000. Do you have any motivation tips?

@blodyn91 awww yay almost bump twins! With your abs you'll deffo be able to pop the baba out

@zippityzip I love monty bo jangles!!
@Ltay2 I only started again because passing by runners were making me jealous 😂
@blodyn91 nausea is killing me off at the moment, I've hit 12 weeks and I'm sure it's getting worse. I'm glad you're seeing your family, it's not fair for everyone to keep going without seeing each other when the government keep giving out mixed messages

So I need some advice regarding after the baby is born.

I have a tense relationship with my MIL - tense being polite. I don't trust her essentially. Numerous examples such as sun burn, not supervising my niece so she ended up needing ten stitches in her head. That kind of thing. I could literally go on all day.

I didn't let her look after my kids until they were verbal - could tell her they were hungry/thirsty (I've previously come at 3pm and she's announced "oh I've forgotten to give them lunch!" Which just made me die inside).

But basically after much begging on her part to "help out and be involved" she has my kids one afternoon a week after school. That's it. It totals about 3 hours, if that.

It's taken me a long time to get over this. I still don't like it, and his mother is pretty much the only thing we argue about.

Anyway when the baby arrives she's gonna be all over that and telling me she wants to look after the baby and it's simply not happening.

How do I approach this with my husband. I basically organise and do everything anyway. But he will moan that we can "save money" using his mum instead of the childminder. Firstly I'm happy for my mum to do one day a week, and then I WFH guaranteed on a Friday anyway. And my childminder who I've used for the last 7 years is like family to me and I trust her with my kids lives.

Do I just organise it and not say anything? Do I do it last minute? Do I discuss it now?? I need to approach it in a way that's not negative against his mother but practical and sensible. She's also massively unreliable.

This is on the assumption that I am going to be back in the office next year. But I have to be back to work by January 2022 as my uni placement (through work) starts in Feb 2022.

Sorry that was long. I just need impartial advice on how to approach this conversation as I absolutely despise the woman and I don't want it to turn into a row.

@zippityzip that sounds like a really tough one.
You definitely need to stand you ground and not let his mother anywhere near if she forgets to give them lunch and let's them get sunburnt, that's horrendous. I don't know how you can send a child out into the sun without cream.
It's tough with hubby because it's his mother I get that. I think you need to pick a good time to talk to him about the facts, the things that have already happened that you described in your post then sort of sway into asking him how he would feel if your baby had been sunburnt or not fed etc. If he makes an excuse for her then it's an even tougher one as he is clearly on another planet prioritising money over his baby's wellbeing.
I feel really bad for you because you said this is the only thing you argue over so I can imagine you really don't want to start something over this. You could talk him round maybe by selecting a day a week or an afternoon whatever that you would visit her or at a stretch she could pick up baby one day and you could be there literally half an hour after.
It's a tough one, I'm sure someone on here will have some better advice for you too 😂

I agree
It’s a hard one but your in your rights- one of my good friends went through the same thing and it was so difficult for them to talk about without arguing
I think ultimately, it’s your family, your baby, your decision
I would trust your instinct and stand firm
It doesn’t mean that she won’t be part of babies life, just that her told may be different

Xxx

@zippityzip I'm a bit of a wimp but from everything you've said you kinda control the routine so I'd just plan for what works for you and the kids and not have a conversation about her being excluded from that. Is it something that you could put off at least until the end of next year? If you won't be making the schedule yet it may just be having the conversation now to have it again in a year. I also think having the conversation when you have a set plan is much easier than saying 'I don't know exactly how childcare will be scheduled but I know you're mum won't be in it' 😬

On holiday I was averaging about 4k steps a day, I've never been so inactive. I'm not so bothered about 'getting fat' as I am about losing all remnants of my fitness level but my laziness is next level right now 😂 ... but you lovely lot are motivating me to get my arse in gear. I am a qualified PT so know that it's all safe, plus I don't fancy having to buy a whole new wardrobe during Mat leave if I never fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes 🙈

@zippityzip Urgh that's a rough situation. I would be 10000000% the same with my MIL, lucky for me she's the complete opposite end of the country so she's yet to ever have the baby alone. Long may that continue 🤣

If your husband is anything like mine, he won't even think about childcare, where the baby is going / what the baby will be doing when you go back to work. So raising the conversation to my husband would be just reminding him of the awkward situation that he'd actually not even bothered to think about yet. So if it was me, I'd make arrangements about who's having the baby when, and don't include her. If / when he or she (MIL) asks if they can have the baby for a day a week, you just need to literally be firm and say I just don't feel ready for MIL to have her for the whole day yet. She doesn't know her routine (as she almost certainly won't) and you don't want the baby being one day here, one day there, one day all over the place. You've already arranged with your mum to have her one day, then she's with you Friday and you just want her to have some routine and stability the remaining days. When she's older you'll think about it.

AND LEAVE IT THERE.

Don't explain yourself further. Just that you don't feel comfortable with MIL having her and you've organised who will be taking care of her and that's that. Your husband will probably start an argument over it, so you just have to be calm and rational about it. Don't slag off MIL to him as that gives him a reason to be pissed off. Just say pls don't ask me to do that, it makes me feel really uncomfortable thinking of her taking her for the whole day and I really just want her to be with me, my mum and the childminder and please respect that. Play the sympathy card. Because at the end of the day she's your baby, you would've been with her every day for the year and if you don't feel comfortable her going to MIL then she quite simply isn't going.

@zippityzip I agree with @mrsmummy1111
At the end of the day, all three of you want the same thing - to have as amicable a relationship as possible.

The best way to do that and avoid any further fallings out is to do things on your terms. Playing the sympathy card deffo a good idea too - it's not like you're lying, you don't want to bad mouth her or fall out, but you don't want to be worrying about your children being with her all the time when your career is amping up and you have enough stress managing the household going on

@zippityzip yep agree with @mrsmummy1111 and also @SmileyT regarding not bringing it up yet.
I really don't get on with my MIl as we have spoken about previously, its crap isn't it. Just so manipulative!! OH thinks she'll do this and that and Im like nope she will not. She treated her other SIL auful when they had their first baby.

Also, we need dad to come and bid at this auction for us next Friday, but with Wales under lockdown he can't come with out braking the law. But the auctioneer will only accept bids in person 😫😫. Going to have to sneak him over and pay what ever fine if we get caught, not fair how Corona is ruining everything! No wedding and no bloody house next