What age did you have your first child?

[Emm98]

Hi all,

I would love to know when you had your first child.

Recently my partner has been suggesting we start trying for a baby but I’m not sure whether we are too young and should wait a few years.

About me: I am 22 and have been with my partner 2 years. We have lived together for nearly the whole 2 years!

We both work full time and have stable jobs, we are also in the process of buying our first home☺️

I’m concerned about Covid- everything is always changing at the moment! Our jobs are secure but you never know what could happen as a result of the pandemic.

There is so much to consider- Childcare costs are not cheap and I would definitely be going back to work if I was to have a child, maternity leave and pay confuses me so much and I feel a bit clueless.

I would love to have a little family but I would like to hear other people’s opinions/experience. Is there anything we should consider before deciding?

Thank you!

I was married and aged 19. and yes we owned our house, too.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing - not to do with your comment but your name is everything.. when I watch it with my son I always say you will never be like bing cause bing is a spoilt wingy brat 😂

32 for my first. 40 for my fourth and last.

Married at 22 (DH 23), first baby born when I was 24 and second when I was 26. We don't own our home for various reasons but are (and have been since we married) financially stable with savings. We are fortunate with some childcare support from my mum, I also work part time which makes it a little easier. After Christmas our eldest will be entitled to government funded childcare hours.

I'm 27 and don't at all feel like I've "wasted" my 20s!!! Our children bring us more joy then any holiday could.

[quote emma911030]@BeingATwatItsABingThing - not to do with your comment but your name is everything.. when I watch it with my son I always say you will never be like bing cause bing is a spoilt wingy brat 😂[/quote]
I’m glad you like it @emma911030

Im glad you’re happy @emma911030. But you must know that as an unmarried woman with three tiny children and no job you will be incredibly financially vulnerable. I truly hope it works out ok for you and your babies.

However I didn’t say that marriage was a piece of paper to prove you were happy. Not did I say it would make you never split up.

It’s a legal contract, like you sign when you start a job or rent a house. It doesn’t imply lack of trust.

Disagree with me by all means, the world would be a boring place if we all agreed. But please don’t attack me for things I didn’t say or put words in my mouth.

31, we started trying when I was 29. Had been married a year and owned our own flat, both in relatively stable/well paid jobs. I still feel too young to have a baby though! I’m one of the first of my friends to have done it which I think has an impact.

On current plans we’d like to have DC2 late 2023/early 2024 when I’ll be 34 but it took us nearly a year to conceive DD so I’m aware these things don’t always go to plan!

Assuming no surprises beforehand we’re going to start TTC in Jan 2023 and see how we get on. I’d like to be all done with pregnancy by the time I’m 35 though, partly because we’d prefer not to be older parents (DH would be 38 by that stage), partly because I’ll need to get my career back on track in my late 30s and also because I have a family history of early-ish menopause and don’t want to make assumptions that I can leave it late. The family link to early menopause was one of the main reasons we decided to get cracking at 29 and 32 rather than wait until mid-30s for our first, which is what my friends are generally doing.

Everything @ALLIS0N said, and I couldn't agree more.

Have a baby with him only if you're financially stable in your own right, and far along enough in your career that mat leave won't have a prolonged negative affect on your progression.

Then it doesn't matter if you're not married because you have an equal stake in the relationship and your life won't be hampered if the relationship breaks down.

For me, 20s was about seeing the world, working out what the fuck I wanted to do etc. I would have had nothing to teach a kid at 22.

Fell pregnant with my first at 31, and my second at 33, honestly I could have probably have waited a couple years and done it later as well.

I conceived at 23 (planned) and he's due in January (I'm 24 now) we own our own home, have been together almost 10 years and like you op my dad is not in good health (heart attacks and lung cancer - under control for now)

I was 30. Met my husband at 19 but spent the first 10 years together seeing new places, getting our own house and getting married etc. I'm now 34 and pregnant with our second. I wouldn't have been ready at 22 but everyone is different. We saved up some money before we started ttc so that I could afford to have a full year off as knew I'd be back to working full time after.

I'm 25 and am due in just over 3 weeks time. My partner is 28 and we have been together for nearly 7 years 😊

We own our house and have stable jobs, we have been very lucky in the last 6 months that we have kept our jobs.

There is no perfect age or time, you do you 😊

28 for my 1st and 31 for 2nd

we're very much happy how we are without having a piece of paper to say we're happy

🙄

That’s really not what marriage is about or what it’s for - it’s a legal contract designed to protect the people in it when things go wrong!

Just because your married doesn't mean you won't ever split up. no but statistically you’re less likely to!

I only returned to work part time which means you ARE more vulnerable in the event of a split or his becoming incapacitated or dying and by extension so are your dc

Neither ALLISON nor anyone else implied or said what you claimed

Unless you're independently wealthy or you've been lucky enough to maintain a higher earning career throughout child bearing you'd be foolish not to marry first.

As several pps have said one need only browse the relationships section on here to find many examples of new mothers trapped within unhappy even abusive relationships by their financial and legal circumstances.

Nobody wants that for anyone

21 but would suggest to any young couple to please wait!

I love my child more than life itself but I can see how much exploring of myself and the world I missed out on.

Your frontal lobes don't fully develop until you're 25, at least wait until then and enjoy a clean house for a couple of years lol xxxxx

18, best thing to happen to me but wouldn’t recommend it at that age.

Now 30 and hopefully conceiving in the next few years once married.

Make sure you marry before you have kids op, I was young and stupid too!

I was 20 with dc1 and had dc2 at 22. I am now 32 expecting our third. I have got my degree, worked throughout and established my career in the last 10 years, despite having two young children. We managed to buy our home only a few years ago as childcare is pretty expensive. It took a little longer but we got there.

At 22 I couldn’t have thought of anything worse 😂

I’m 35 and due next month. If I could go back I would find a company with a good maternity package (mines awful) save more, but then we spent lots of money travelling as we wanted as many adventures as possible before kids come along. Which I don’t regret at all!
We were lucky getting on the property market young, so we don’t have a huge mortgage, but I wouldn’t want kids without the stability of my own house (and not too huge a mortgage).
I wouldn’t rush into anything while you are young.

Thanks everyone! So helpful😊

I had ds1 when I was 24. We'd been trying since I was 22.

I had my first at 29. I was married, owned a house and my career was in a good place. I had my others at 30 and 33.

I was 39 with my first and (nearly) 42 with my second. And now I'm 50 with an 11yo and an 8yo!

Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way and it's all I've known. I adore my two. But sometimes when disappearing under the weekly chaos, I look wistfully at my old school friends who are out the other side. A few are GParents and most are back to cosy weekends away with DH (not now, obvs!), lunches with girlfriends etc etc, with kids at uni.

But they probably looked at me like that when we were in our 20s/30s. We just did it opposite ways round.

Do what's right for you.

I was 17. She is now 20. Her dad and split when I was 23 after 8 years together. I outgrew him. He's a wonderful man and a great father but I didn't know myself well enough to commit to him for the rest of my life. We're still on excellent terms and our daughter is brilliant but genuinely, wait a little and live your youth. You may well stay together and live happily ever after, and I hope you do! But equally you may not. So wait a little longer, live a little more. Experience life that's not your little bubble. That's my sincerest advice to you.

Good luck, whatever choice you make.

I had my first at 30, second at 32 and now at 37 im due with my third next week. I've been with my husband for 15 years, we waited until we got married and bought our house to start a family.