Summer '20 Grads Part III

[SmileyT]

@Dipsy77 ❤️❤️ 15th September
@Mococo1 ❤️ 16th September EDD 27th March
@zippityzip ❤️ 18th September EDD 29th March
@mrsmummy1111 ❤️ 21st September EDD 3rd April
@Sausage1990 ❤️28th September EDD 20th April
@smileyT 💚 2nd October 🧡 26th October EDD 15th March
@mrsI2020 💚 2nd October EDD 22nd May
@cocoblue22 💚 3rd October EDD 12th March
@littleRa 🧡 14th October EDD 8th March

@noble89 EDD 25th March
@fairylights2 EDD 1st April
@eloise27 EDD 8th April
@Lettie365 - EDD 11th April
@Ltay2 EDD 11th April
@Madz123 - EDD 13th April
@blodyn91 - EDD 14th April
@samilicious EDD 16th April
@Mustbemad82 EDD 20th April
@MrsEmilyB EDD 30th April
@Catherinettc EDD 19th May
@Blondi3 EDD 25th May
@Sophi123 EDD 25th May

💚 extra scans ❤️ 12w scans 🧡 20w scans

@mrsmummy1111 How are you feeling this week? Have you had any more news or is it still a waiting game xx

@Bl0ndi3 - it really is sucky. More anxiety and uncertainty is not what you need right now! I really hope it works out for the best for you, but there'll be a way through if not.

I was up half the night too but this time with absolutely agonising trapped wind. Anyone else have that? Weird as that was the only symptom I had with my early miscarriage in July too. Peppermint tea at 4.30am helped but hopefully don't have it too regularly!

[quote Sophi123]@Bl0ndi3 - it really is sucky. More anxiety and uncertainty is not what you need right now! I really hope it works out for the best for you, but there'll be a way through if not.

I was up half the night too but this time with absolutely agonising trapped wind. Anyone else have that? Weird as that was the only symptom I had with my early miscarriage in July too. Peppermint tea at 4.30am helped but hopefully don't have it too regularly![/quote]
I have it CONSTANTLY it's really fucking irritating! It was worse when I was still wearing normal jeans and trousers that were clearly too tight for me, but wearing loose clothes definitely helps me generally. And yes, peppermint tea for the win

@mrsmummy1111 I have no real advice really but I know I would feel exactly the same. I know people can live with Downs, but I know OH would want to terminate the pregnancy and the thought of that is brutal, but I know we couldn't handle it (as selfish as that sounds). I don't quite understand the screening tests, so not sure if they found anything in your bloods as well? How long have you to wait? Had you been ttc for a long time? Try and keep yourself busy. Go for a nice walk in fresh air and rrally tire yourself out 💜

Great shout @blodyn91! I'm going to wrap up and go for a nice long walk, put a podcast on and zone out.

It's difficult because it can be a really triggering subject, and everyone has their own opinions and choices that they would make. I have always been pro choice, and hope I always will be, but never really thought I'd find myself in that position. Especially with a baby that was so planned, and longed for. It took about 5 months, so not a long time in the grand scheme of things but long enough for my liking! I don't think anyone can judge until they face the situation themselves, and even I don't know what I would do if it really and truly came down to it, but where we are in our lives and thinking about our son and his future, I just don't know if we have the time or the strength to dedicate to a child with DS. Honestly, I think it would break us.

@mrsmummy1111 I don't think you'll find any judgement here. Not on this thread.
Personally - I just couldn't. With two children already and their well-being to think of, I just couldn't go ahead. I'm also not strong enough to dedicate my life to someone with disabilities. I know some may think that's absolutely awful - but I'm a "business mum" I do the play dates and the school run a few times a week, take them to activities, help with homework. But I need to work and be ME and not just MUM. I have my own identity away from being a mother.
And I look forward to their adulthood when I'll have my own life back having done a good job!!
I'm too selfish to give more than that when it's life consuming already.

On the flip side - if someone continued - big support to them. It's more than I could give and I have every respect for their choice.

Either way it's not easy. There's no simple solution.

However - I'm still feeling massively positive for you. Just IF you have to cross that bridge then I like to think this group of ladies would be a safe space for you.

@mrsmummy1111 I think the group on here are the best and the least judgemental! But as @zippityzip pointed out, you might never have to make a decision! I can understand that looking at the positives is hard atm, and its only natural to prepare for the worse. But you have all of our support! praying your results come back normal for you!

@mrsmummy1111
Try and take some time for yourself today, nobody will judge on here so please just let it all out. I agree with others on here I don't know it I could raise a disabled child with already having another child.
@Bl0ndi3 if I were you I would be making money scenarios for each scenario you could be in so you know your worst and best case scenario, I think it will massively help with the anxiety.

@mrsmummy1111 I'm with the others it's a difficult situation for you and I wish there was something that any of us could say or do to make this waiting easier.

Hopefully and I'm positive you won't have to make such a difficult decision..... but if you do you have our full support whichever way, but again And I stress that I don't think it's going to come to that especially after reading all those responses on your thread! Hopefully in a couple of weeks time this will just be a blip on your journey xx

And thanks all it is sucky but I know in my head what the situation will be either way and I feel positive that we will be fine.

I too believe that everything happens for a reason it just isn't always clear what that reason is straight away haha.

Worse case scenario is I'm made redundant and I can't get another job and I'm jobless until after maternity... my redundancy would cover us for maybe a year of mortgage and bills at a stretch and I'd be able to get the maternity allowance too so I am not worried about money as such as we will learn to deal with less money coming in etc I could also be on maternity for a shorter period than I'd like and such.. I'm more so just worried about job security in general and just the unknown. Losing a job that at the moment I don't love cause of covid has changed it so much but usually I love it and it has such good benefits etc.

@Mustbemad82 well well I didn't know that. My friend obviously was misinformed. I mean her mat pay was reasonable so I don't know what thay was made up of. I'm not going to get my knickers in a twist about it tho... I'll cross that bridge as an when.
Going back to work has put my anxiety up a bit so I'm trying to only deal with things I need to as I need to (if that makes sense). Thank you for the info tho, really helpful.

@mrsmummy1111 there's definitely no judgement on this group. You just share what you need to share, sometimes just getting those words out is what's needed without fear of judgement. Honestly it's hard to imagine how we'd all cope with what your going through. I'm like @blodyn91 in that I think DH would be inclined to terminate the pregnancy... I don't know that I'd be able to tho. It's do hard. Know that we're all here for you lovely!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕

@blodyn91 8-10 weeks off 😭😭 how will you manage?

@Sausage1990 I should be 6+1 today. Trying to eat little and often and like @Mustbemad82 everything is beige still 🤣🤣

@mrsmummy1111 this must be hard for you. Your head will be all over the place. Dont even worry what other people would think etc. This is your life and you are the person that will have to deal with it daily. Im in a completely different situation to you and I wouldnt mind at all if I had a baby with disabilities but my 3 other children are much older and could help, I have no wee ones to run around after and I dont work. It just shows that everyone's situation is completely different from the next person.
I have a friend who wouldn't be able to go ahead with the pregnancy. She has 7 children, 5 of which are under 12, 1 with autism and 1 with heart issues. I completely understand that she couldn't do it.

We are all here for you for support no matter what dont forget that ❤❤ xxx

@mrsmummy1111 anyone who is judgemental can do one! We all have our own journey and need to make decisions that are right for us. What I will say is that the way we're presented information is not the best!

At 11 weeks 4 days, I was told my baby had Megacytis (however you spell it). The sonographer who was lovely btw didn't even say she suspected it but wrote on my report that I do have it.

I cried a few times behind closed doors. Then I researched like hell - found horror stories and positive stories. The sonographer didn't tell me this but in 90% cases, the problem resolves on its own.

My heart dropped when the next day I was offered an appointment but I asked to wait a we because I figured that by 12 weeks (after reading some other people's stories) my baby would have a fully formed placenta and be able to empty his bladder better. The wait was the best decision I made because when I went back a week later, everything was fine.

I know it's so easy to say, think positively when you just want to know. I kept myself busy - didn't think about it and decided that when I get closer to the truth, I'll let myself worry then. In the meantime, distract yourself until you reach results day.

Just remember human error happens al the time. They're running these tests just to make sure, so don't believe your fate is already sealed. I truly wish you all the best and believe things will turn out fine ❤️ x

*week

I know we've had this discussion before but what are the best shops for maternity clothes? Just thinking ahead, need ideas to give people for my birthday and all I can think of is vouchers to help me out when the time comes for maternity clothes! Or anything other nice treats that you can think of that a pregnant lady would want on her 30th birthday as I have no idea when all the usual things (alcohol, nice bath bombs, spa days, etc) I am avoiding 🤣

Also sorry for jumping on with random input in the middle of serious discussions, I haven't caught up yet! ❤️

@Ltay2
I will have this same problem 😅

@Ltay2 I ordered a few bits from boohoo the other day xx

@Busybee143 It's my birthday in 2 weeks and my mum wants ideas but I have none 😂

@Ltay2 I can't help much but most places I hear or see are boohoo, asos, new look, seraphine, love leggings, that Jojo whatever and top shop for jeans so I say look at what you like and from where and choose vouchers for there xx

Maybe Amazon as you can get all sorts on there!

@Ltay2 I always think ahead for gifts as I struggle when it comes to giving ideas as I don't ever need anything.

For Christmas I'll be asking for comfy cosy stuff like pyjamas and candles and slippers as I feel like I will be starting to show by Christmas and will probably just want to hibernate 😂 but might ask for vouchers too for maternity stuff and pregnancy stuff.

I think maternity wise I'll need winter, springs and summer stuff because I'll be almost into summer by the time I give birth.

@Bl0ndi3 I'm going to look at maternity clothes tonight think that will be my best bet! My mum has said I'm not allowed to choose anything that would be for the house or baby it has to be just for me 😂

@Ltay2 Shein and Purpless have been pretty good to me so far. Plus eBay had some great stuff still with tags in dirt cheap.

@mrsmummy1111
You’re well within your rights to feel the way you are . Torn, scared, conflicted , anxious, cheated

There’s no tough love to be had, all your emotions are valid and I can’t imagine what you are going through or feeling

Be kind to yourself , give yourself some freedom to feel however your feeling and know their is no right or wrong response or answer

You’re bound to feel at sea and anxious, just don’t beat yourself up about things

Do try to physically look after yourself though
Adding to the anxiety by being tired won’t help
I’ve found distraction works
Speaking to friends, going for some lunch or a walk will help

Just keep us posted and try and look after yourself x