March 2021 #3

[holb54]

Pregnancy group for anyone due in March 2021 💜

@Phie04 I was told not to put mittens or fold the baby grow over by a health visitor when I had my first baby, she undid them when she came round! Apparently babies use their hands to self sooth... just cut their nails. You can get normal baby grows in next or the supermarket. Next are better quality but obviously Asda etc are a cheapy option.

Anybody else struggling to drink water? I have to eat something that makes me thirsty to drink something

Thanks! @NoGinNotComingIn

@chloxhunt no, I'm constantly thirsty!!

@Phie04 you're lucky I wish I was 😂 I'm really struggling to drink enough

Re: baby purchases

I agree with extra large muslins and we liked our Ewan the Dream Sheep - I'm not sure it made a blind bit of difference to our son but I found listening to it relaxing when after night feeds.

I would also recommend the Baby Bjorn bouncer (but not the baby carrier - they are known dismissively as crotch danglers and there are far more comfortable ones available which support the baby's bottom better and make them feel lighter to carry). We borrowed one and I will be buying my own this time. They don't look anything special but they last forever.

I loved my Snuzpod and I would also recommend the Angelcare bath seat.

Get a decent infant carrier car seat from a reputable brand. I'm a big advocate of rear facing as long as possible - my son rear faces at age 4 in an Axkid Minikid. We'll use that until he's 25kg or the baby out grows the infant carrier. It's a lovely car seat and is suitable for birth but not recommended until they have outgrown their baby seat. We've got a Cybex baby carrier from when my son was a baby.

IKEA high chair, definitely. Cheap as chips and fully dishwashable. The blow up insert is good when baby is small. I also recommend IKEA junior chairs when they are older.

The best things I've bought more recently are a Lumie bedside light and a Groclock. They have changed my life but they are for toddlers or preschoolers, not babies.

I wouldn't stress about prams. They will all do the job fine and you'll be switching to a lightweight stroller before too long, anyway. I got really hung up on trying to find the best pram ever but any will do! I would say the only thing to think about is if you want one that converts into a double. The Uppababy Vista was really popular when my son was small amongst those who might need to accommodate two in the future.

Shnuggle Bath, not very much and makes bathing a newborn so much easier, they can’t slip out your hands like they can in a normal baby bath.

Pram buying (a bit early to be thinking prams imo but hey!) I’d try to think beyond it looking pretty and actually think about what you will use it for. If you know you’ll be doing outdoorsy stuff rather than browsing around shops a pram with tiny wheels won’t cut it. Also think about size and storage. A lot of people buy huge prams that look great but where the hell do you store it. Also if you are planning to have another baby close ish in age buy one that can convert into a 2 seater (I made this mistake). A grand is a lot to spend on a pram if you end up retiring it after 6 months because it’s bulky and you prefer a cheapo joie buggy that will actually fit in your car boot! I say this as the owner of 4 prams looking to buy my 5th, my husband has suggested we open a pram shop in our garage 🤣.

Feeling a bit down today, all these posts that mention (WE) when it comes to buying things or finding out the names etc. It sounds like you are all having a great time experiencing this together. i'm getting no support from my husband, he has never asked how i am, I'm growing a baby and have a broken wrist, he is at work full time and im still on furlough so i'm still expected to do everything around the house, make dinner, clean, do the washing, bath the kids, im seriously struggling and he just says he can't do it because he is working. Yet he comes home sits down and im running around still all evening trying to get things done because it takes my 20 times longer to do anything. He has now just told me he isn't coming with me to my 12 week scan on Tues! He is allowed to he is just not bothering to get off work. Just feel like i'm in this on my own. He is excited about the baby but just not being involved at all. I know I'm hormonal but I'm feeling so alone. x

@Aurora124 that's so hard. You really sound like you need more help and support than you're getting. x

@Aurora124 that's tough, being pregnant is tough and you need as much support as you can get especially with a broken wrist! Maybe sit down with him and honestly just say you need help and you're struggling to do everything? When I first moved in with my husband he didn't do anything and I was literally running around getting everything done as well as working full time- eventually I cracked and cried and said I just couldn't cope- he felt terrible because he hadn't even noticed! Now we have a system where I'll clean the bathrooms but he always hoovers

@Taylortyler i have tried talking him, he says im just milking it! Every time I ask for help he looks insulted and says you know i work 50 hrs a week!

Yet today he also told me he has football training this week Monday Wednesday, a game thurs and possibly a game Friday. It honestly feels like the less i am.able to do , the less he is willing to help! Im just shocked he doesn't want to go to the scan! To be honest he has only just started his new job and had to leave work early when I fell, had to take a day off when i needed to go and get an xray then another for my 8 week scan. So i know he is worried about taking more days off, however he has been talking about taking the following day off because he wants to go to a funeral,. Which he won't be allowed to go to fue to covid restrictions. His priorities are all over the place!

@Aurora124 I think maybe it's worth mentioning to him his priorities aren't lining up with yours. If you make it clear you need help, the next time you put your feet up for 5 minutes instead of doing something in the house you can bring up the fact you asked for help.
My husband has a lot of friends and activities outside of work; I've had to have the conversation with him a few times that I feel like I share him with his mates, rugby, football and golf..

@Aurora124 That's really not on! Sorry he's being such a pain. Some people just do not think about everything we're doing just to grow these little ones, and how much it takes out if us, never mind anything else we do! I hope you can make him see sense and make an effort to support you and do his share.

@SnickerdoodleSnek i wish I could but he never sees himself as being unreasonable, he lives in his own head.

Sorry for the rant everyone, things are just getting to me. Its partly my fault because I want my kids to eat healthy meals so need to cook proper dinners rather than shoving pizza and chips in an oven which would be a lot easier, I can't sit while i know washing needs done or ironing because I want to make sure my kids have clean ironed clothes on and I don't necessarily need to bath them as often but i don't want them going to school dirty.

I could just not do things but i feel it would stress me out even more when I know it needs done.

@aureliacecilia that's good to know about the baby Bjorn baby carrier I'd looked at that one. Do you have any recommendations?

Awww @Aurora124 you need to tell him again how you are feeling. It's not fair that you are feeling this way x

@Babafarmer I loved my ergobaby 360 baby carrier.

Definitely second getting a pram with big off road wheels if you plan to do more than pushing round shops with it. We have a handed down Phil and teds dash which has been great. Then bought a second hand silver cross pop which was easily collapsible and way lighter for the car boot. Neither were great for newborn though tbh though probably updated now.

@Aurora124 sorry that sounds rubbish. I think sometimes people just don't think, especially when they can't understand what it's like to be pregnant. Maybe suggest getting a cleaner if he's so objected to helping?!

@Aurora124 I second getting a cleaner if he won’t pull his weight, the further you get on with this pregnancy the harder it’s going to get, and particularly after the baby is born. What was he like when you were pregnant with your other children?

This tonsillitis is really taking it out of me. I feel awful today despite resting for the last few days. I have an appointment with the gynae consultant in the morning so I’m hoping I feel better!

Thank you for your support, unfortunately our funds are tight, I would love to afford a cleaner

@TheFoz I would say he was extremely supportive fir for the first, not as much for the second but he was keen to go to every appointment with me me, i do remember being heavily pregnant and trying to pack the house up for moving and being upset he wasn't helping. Its funny , i don't think he likes the attention not being on him!

Im sorry to hear you have tonsillitis, I hope you feel better soon.

@Aurora124 I'm so sorry you're feeling like this 😔 it must be really hard on you. I don't really like commenting on others relationships but this does seem very unfair on you. You have a lot of your plate being pregnant, kids to look after and a broken wrist! I tip my hat to you, I'm barely getting by with being pregnant, having a 12 year old and functional wrists! The least he could do is split the evening jobs so you can both sit down together in the evening or give you time to get a bath and relax a little. He should be more supportive of you x

@Babafarmer I had a Connecta (they might be known as Integra carriers now but I'm not 100% on that) when my son was about 4 months old and I've also got a toddler Tula. I bought both from Babipur, which tends to have a decent selection of comfortable buckle carriers in stock. I think people prefer stretchy wraps like the Close Caboo when babies are tiny. I didn't have one until he was a bit bigger. There's usually a sling library nearby where someone will be offering a selection of slings and baby carriers for hire if you wanted to try before you buy.

www.babipur.co.uk/carriers-slings.html If you look at these then you will see the baby's bum is much more supported than the Baby Bjorn ones. The Baby Bjorn ones are perfectly safe (unless your baby has hip dysplasia or something like that), just not as supportive or comfy for baby and wearer.

@Aurora124 you're also a superwoman for doing the ironing! I can't remember the last time I ironed anything. I think everything also feels tougher when you're pregnant, I'm getting breathless just walking up the stairs, you're entitled to feel a need for more support x

Thank you for your kind words 🙂 even support from a mumsnet group is support i wouldn't usually have.
Just feeling a bit down that i'm obviously not important enough to be looked after nor the baby!.
However, my children have been amazing, they have been very helpful and tried hard not to ask for anything from me so i can rest a bit more.

@Aurora124 you shouldn't be going through all this!! 😔 Sending hugs lovely!!

Welcome @CC5321 and @s4r4h84 !

@s4r4h84 I also have HG, it is a killer so glad you are starting to get some relief, I am 14+1 today and not getting any better.

@Aurora124 so sorry you are feeling out of sorts, could you see if there is someone locally with an ironing service? It would be cheaper than hiring a cleaner but would take a lot off your shoulders if you gave them a basket a week. Otherwise, maybe look into whether you could afford to get a cleaner 2 hours, 2 days a week? I know you said funds are tight but you might be able to cut corners elsewhere if you look into it?