Feeling sorry for myself,Baby Shower related,anyone else feeling quite alone??

[PasstheBucket89]

Ok, i am aware there are far bigger problems all the time in the world,especially now but im feeling very low and sad about this and as much as im going to attract the usual to this thread i need to offload and ask for advice aswell, and MN can be very good for that in times where its difficult to talk about it with anyone else. I am on pregnancy no.3 I have had Hypermesis {HG} with all in varying degrees ,i had a great organised by a friend shower etc, with My second i was so poorly that it wasn't possible and i was/am a bit devastated i felt i didn't get to 'celebrate' them. Obviously this time round with everything going on , but also worry that i don't have as many people to help organise, attend balso interest naturally dwindles with subsequents, i want a sprinkle , rather than a shower so little like an afternoon tea or something. i wouldn't choose to plan anything obnoxious and i just have this overwhelming feeling that how rubbish and sad i will always feel that out of 3 I only got to celebrate one, i know i wouldnt be feeling like this if it had not been so very ill with severe HG with my second, . i cant shake it off, I'm sorry i know this is a self indulgent whinge to most.i think i feel very alone as well, just wondering if im the only one who feels like this??

We are in the midst of a pandemic.... is a baby shower a huge concern?

If it's only going to be a "sprinkle" do you really need help to organise it? Just invite a few friends to the park and provide cakes.

i addressed that in the beginning, i don't think thats a very helpful post, especially whilst ive experience severe illness sometimes its nice to have something to look forward to.

probably not @TooFrickinHot it won't be the right time of year for outdoor stuff, i would be somewhere inside.

@PasstheBucket89 maybe you could do something special with your immediate family who are within your bubble? Pandemic friendly family feast of some description, to celebrate your wee one and take lots of photos. Or arrange something via zoom? It's not ideal, but then none of this pandemic is.

Op I had hypermesis with all of mine. Have to say I agree with other posters.

I thought baby showers tended to be for first babies?
What time of year will it be?

Could you wait and have a celebration after baby is here instead?

Don't jinx it by celebrating the baby before it's here. Have a little gathering when it's safe to do so.

I don't know why anyone would want to celebrate a Baby who isn't safely here yet!

Focus on how lucky you are to be having a 3rd baby, it may make you feel better. i didn't have any showers with either of my babies and i have never given it a second thought.
Perhaps you could organise a zoom chat with friends - also have you considered that your friends might have planned something without you knowing ? Good luck with everything x

Why do people feel the need to do these things. It's not for the baby, it's not here yet?
I'm pregnant with no 3, also suffering again with HG, but I don't see what that's got to do with anything.
I've never had a baby shower, and never will. It's very self indulgent and pointless and just makes people feel obliged to buy a gift because they have been invited.

I can just about tolerate going to a baby shower for a first baby. Having a sprinkle for a third baby is pretty overly self-indulgent. I wouldn't expect other people to help organise it.

Why don't you just arrange something and invite people? I've been to a few and I must admit I've never heard of one for a third baby!

i would never expect anything on the same scale as my first one, with it being a third, i agree about something small i just don't want to miss out, AGAIN i think that mixed in with hormones is the real crux of it. i do know on some level logical it doesn't really matter, but emotionally i feel very different.

Why not just organise a nice lunch or afternoon tea somewhere with 4 or 5 people?
Things might have changed by the time you have your little one so you could maybe do something else after baby arrives?

in fairness I did make it clear what me having HG had to do with it, i couldn't have on with my second because i was too ill, so i always associate having missed out with that. i know a few people who have had one with subsequents.

thats the kind of thing what i was thinking @sel2223

I’ve never heard of a baby shower for anything after a first baby. Can you just meet a few friends for coffee and cake? It seems unnecessary to get worked up about this.

Feel for you on the Hyperemesis front. It’s grim. .

These weren’t really a thing when I had my youngest 11 years ago and we all managed fine. It’s especially weird for a third baby
However, lots of things are being cancelled at the moment and it’s ok to be a bit disappointed but you shouldn’t make a big deal about it, we are living in very unusual times.
Sorry you feel so rough, I had sickness with both my pregnancies, lost 2 stone with no 1 and 1 stone with number 2

I managed to break one baby during labour, but even so, I’ve always been spectacularly leery about showers. I’ve never had one and don’t go to other people’s - I make a vague excuse and stay home essentially on tenterhooks until baby arrives safely. I realise that statistically it makes no sense and most babies do arrive safely, but the whole thing makes me edgy, like courting disaster.
My lovely friend had to cancel her shower because of Covid and honestly I’m so relieved. In the end her baby was safely delivered but they were blue-lighted an hour and a half away because baby had breathing difficulties. She’s going to have a small celebration early next year.
It was a shame - she had set up a huge shower with a beautiful theme. But I am so relieved it didn’t happen.

I never had a baby shower. Not my thang. I have organised a couple for friends but I generally thought people only had them for a first baby. They are a nice gesture. But to be honest I think they should be driven by someone else. Is this really about a shower or do you think that's just a channel for your feelings about HG? It's horrible and casts a shadow over everything and anyone who suffers it has my deepest sympathy.

Why do you want to have what is in effect an American thing? We never used to have baby showers, you gave a small gift when you visited the baby not me baby showers smack of greed,

Let people come and see the baby once born

i had one for my first child organised by a friend, they are nearly 12 now.

thanks to the people leaving kind comments, i just cant shake how sad its making it me.

A close relative had a Zoom baby shower last month, she had arranged cake and sweets to be delivered to our houses and posted each of us a tea bag so we could do a mini afternoon tea.

I know what you mean about wanting to celebrate this one, it’s difficult when you have expectations of how you want things to go and then things out of your control change that. I do admit I’d find it strange to be invited for a third baby, I’ve only ever attended ones for FTM.

The small afternoon tea celebration in person sounds a lovely idea.