November 2020 babies - thread 8!

[wannabebump]

New thread xx

Next July for a week or so so I can have full pay over the 6 week holidays, but properly it will be in September 2021. DH will split parental leave with ne in July so he will be home with he baby. I may change my mind once baby is actually here and want longer off but that's the current plan

Sometime between early July and late September next year for me. I initially planned 6months, but then realised that brought me to summer and it could be nice to be off for that too.

Just noticed I'm down to 99 days to go

Almost finished doing the spare room up aswell (wanted it down before i go back to work from furlough) and I just can't stop looking at it

Similar to @Oatmilk1 I’m a bit undecided/thinking summer or Autumn. Up til this week I’ve been really enjoying work but I just feel fed up this week!

For those of you taking longer off, can I ask what’s motivating you to do so (other than more time with baby)? I feel very torn between throwing myself back into my career soonish to progress and earn etc and maxing out my mat leave for as long as possible...

@WiseOwl I'm taking as much time off as I possibly can. I love my job and career but my career can wait. The first 18 months in a little one's life are so important and they hit so many developmental milestones. I want to be there as much as humanly possible because you never get those years back. I haven't ever heard anyone say they wish they went back to work sooner.

The best advice I was also given was not to commit to a return date (unless there is a good reason to do so of course).

Just wait and see and then give the 8 weeks notice when I feel it is right.

Also I still hope my husband will take a some shared parental leave so that factors into it as well.

If I could afford to, I would take the full 12 months. As I work in education, I don't get accrued annual leave etc back, only bank holidays will be added on as paid, along with keeping in touch days. The one bonus with working in education is that I have lots of holidays so will still get plenty of time to spend with the little one.

I do think nursery is fantastic for a childs development both intellectual and social so I do think it'll be good for the little one, it'll just be me that misses out.

@Wise0wl I love my job but have a long commute (2+ hours every day depending on traffic). I'm hoping to go part time when I go back although we haven't yet decided how that will look and/or negotiate working one day a week from home. My partner is taking one month's shared parental leave and is then supplementing time off with annual leave, banked flexi time and some bought leave. It's also my first baby and I want to be there as much as possible.

I'll be back on the books at the end of March, but with AL it'll be more like mid April before I actually have to go back. OH will be off until the mid-end of May then baby will be in nursery from 6 months. I might choose to take 1 day a week as AL for a while which is what I did with my first, or OH and I are thinking of maybe going to a 9 day fortnight each so between us that's one day less in nursery for them both.

Much of it is financial. We both earn more than nursery costs and have mortgage and bills to pay, and frankly lockdown has made me question whether I could ever be a SAHM. I admire any of you that are!

@Wise0wl I've chosen to take the full 12 months off plus annual leave but who knows - maybe I will want to get back to work and adult company before then! My reason is that I've wanted a baby for so long and I'm so excited to have this opportunity to spend so much time with them. To me my job is just that and as long as I have enough money the fast progression isn't as important to me. Having said that I also think nurseries are brilliant for development as someone else said and I'd have no issue sending my child when I do go back.

I am taking as long as possible @wise0wl, so going off in October and not back until Jan '22. However this is because I am not enjoying my job. I made a career change in early 2019 and so I feel I have plenty of time to get established in in, I will have been doing it for nearly 2 years when I go off.

My job is pretty secure so I dont have any worries about a job to return to. This is my last child and I will be 37 when I return (literally the day before!) and I'll have another 31 years to work before I bloody retire!

I had 13 months off last time and plan the same this time, for a variety of reasons. I want as much time with the baby as possible whilst they are little, we can afford it, I had acute and pretty severe PND last time for a few months, and want to be fully recovered before going back if the same happens again. Last time I reduced my hours to 60%, and have been 90% the last couple of years, so will probably do something similar again. I'm lucky that my job is flexible that way, and that's what works for me. I definitely didn't even think about part time working before the first baby was here, I think that the reality can really change your mind. I have to say going back to work was amazing, it was like reclaiming a part of my life that got a little lost for a while.

I agree that whatever you plan now, it’s best not to commit to a return date until after the baby is born. It’s much easier for employers to accommodate an early return than to extend your leave if you change your mind. I speak from experience because I naively planned to go back at 6 months with baby 1 and then when it came to it that was completely impossible and I ended up taking a year! I know that it was annoying for my work and would have been better if I just hadn’t said anything. Especially with your first it’s impossible to know how you’ll feel and also how the baby will be (at 6 months DS was waking every 45 mins and I literally couldn’t have functioned at work) so I think keeping options open is ideal!

I’m taking 10-13 months this time depending on what’s going with work and whether we can afford it. I’m due early Nov so couldn’t stretch it to 2022 even if I added all my holiday on, but it’s quite nice to go back before Christmas and then have a Christmas break shortly after I think.

Due to financial reasons I’m planning to have off 9 months (Mat leave and annual leave). Wish I could have longer off but haven’t saved as much as we wanted due to covid/furlough

I’ve asked for a breakdown of what I would potentially be getting each month from my employer but they’re not able to give it to me which is annoying because it would have been interesting to see if I could afford to take longer off

@MeandSpud I'm also looking at maxi cosi car seat this time (going to trial some in a few weeks) but re a travel system I got the ickle bubba moon. It was really cheap and I know it's compatible with that car seat. Also has lots of good reviews. We had a cosatto travel system last time but switched to a stroller fairly early on so didnt much use which is why I'm going cheap this time. As others said it depends on your lifestyle.

@bokchoy I'll be taking a year going back at the end of October 2021.

@Wise0wl I enjoy my job but it's full on and I want to take a year out to get a decent break and just be with baby while he's little. Once I go back it'll most likely be full time again so it's important to me to have the time off when he's tiny as I know I won't get as much of that after. I did the same with my 3yo and it worked well so wanted to do the same again.

Hi, just wondering how much weight has everyone gained so far? I’m 24 weeks and have only gained 1lb since 21 weeks.
I’ve read you should gain almost a pound a week at this stage.
Considering how much I eat out of boredom I’m surprised I haven’t gained more.

@Fudgeflies I used an online calculator to work out how much statutory is for each month I'm planning to take. The base it on your annual income and make the necessary deductions. I'm taking a year and only the first few months are full pay so I used the calculator to budget.

@whatinthename20 I don't think there's really any set amount. Some of us put a lot in in earlier pregnancy. Some of us lost weight due to HG. It depends on your hospital as to how much they track that. For example, mine don't measure bump or weight but give a scan at 36 weeks instead. They said they changed it last year as they felt that was more reliable way of tracking baby size. Ultimately when you put on weight it isn't always guaranteed to be the baby. It could be the mother etc. So I was told not to worry.

@AnxiousLady1 ok thank you

Don't worry I have not actually gained any weight since finding out I'm pregnant (15weeks) and I think only about 2kg in total. I have GD so the doctors are actually really happy as long as baby is growing and I reckon it'll mean I'll be a stone down straight after birth :)

@Whatinthename20 re weight, I have put on a stone in total since finding out I was pregnant and I'm now 25 weeks. I last weighed myself 4 weeks ago and since then I've been about 1lb a week. How much of it is pregnancy or my ability to overeat everything just now, who knows! X

@Whatinthename20

Hi, just wondering how much weight has everyone gained so far? I’m 24 weeks and have only gained 1lb since 21 weeks. I’ve read you should gain almost a pound a week at this stage. Considering how much I eat out of boredom I’m surprised I haven’t gained more.

I was worried about this too as people kept commenting on how small and petite my bump was for this stage and I weighed myself and have only put 10lb on in 25 weeks. But at my scan baby was bang in middle of percentiles and the midwife measured my bump yesterday and that’s bang in the middle too. 🥰

Hi all
I know there’s a few teachers/school staff here so thought I’d get your wisdom before making another thread.

So when schools return in September, I’ll be 30 weeks so well into the 3rd trimester. My school said they were going to do a risk assessment on me on the last day of term but due to unforeseen circumstances it couldn’t happen, so won’t happen until the first day back. The site manager came to see me and asked me what the current guidance was, which I wasn’t sure of and So he asked me to speak to my midwife when I next saw her. So I saw her yesterday and she wasn’t very sure but seemed shocked that I was considering going back into a work environment with 36 people in a small room and no PPE. She advised me not to. However after a bit of googling the message are very mixed. The unions say no we should work from home or not at all but the government says because the factors are mitigated under current plans (not sure how with 300 kids in one bubble, no PPE, a tiny staff room for 20 staff that we all have to use at the same time to even get water etc) the vast majority of staff, including the very vulnerable should be back in school.
Now I’m not sure what to think or to say to my school. I do want to be back in! I want to get my GCSE classes off to a good start, bearing in kind the crap year they’ve just had. I want to be able to get my team of to a good start as I’m a head of department and would feel dreadful leaving them in the lurch as of course there’s no replacement for me yet. However, what the midwife has said has worried me and from what I can tell, schools are just implementing whatever policy they want in relation to this.
Have any of you been told you definitely have to be in or you definitely have to stay at home?
Thanks 😊

Thank you all so much for your answers to when you’re planning to go back - it’s so useful to have different perspectives.

@HarrietM87 I think my instinct was to go back at 6 months too (FTM) but glad I’ve not said as much to work!