Anyone had termination for medical reasons

[Lockdownbabies]

Hi explained in subject really just wondered if anyone who’s had a termination for medical reasons ( surgically) could explain their process to me ie door it hurt after? What happens etc

[UpsyDaisy1234]

@Lockdownbabies Have you had yours already? I'm scheduled for medical on friday. Have had a few miscarriages in the past, including one @16weeks. But this is my first termination & is due to medical reasons. I'm 23wks+ & have been advised by the fetal med consultant that it can't be done past 24weeks legally.

@Isthisreallyit I haven't sent dms before & i use the app too so i really don't know how. But I'd just ask away here, so i can also get ideas from other lovely ladies here too.

[UpsyDaisy1234]

Hello ladies, so i'm going in on friday morning to have the injection that will help put my baby to sleep, what do i expect on that day? And how long did it take? And anything i should know or prepare for? Did you take any pill on that day?


Secondly, I was told that i'd need to return after 48hrs (sunday) to the hospital for induction of labor. Did you have to there exactly at 48hours or did you just go in anytime on the day? Did you have to be in same room with other patients with similar or not similar situation? What do i expect when i get there? How many doses of the inducing pills did you to take? And long this your labor last?

Thirdly, did you name your baby? Did you bring your own clothe & blanket for baby to dressed & wrapped in? Were you offered a free funeral or cremation? Were you offered a memory keepsake box?

Lastly, how long did you have to stay in the hospital?


So many questions🙈. Thank you so much in advance for your replies💐

[1stbabs]

Hi @UpsyDaisy1234 so sorry you're going through this. I've not written on this thread before but wanted to answer your questions. My medical termination was at 19 weeks so I didn't have the injection. I'm sure somebody else will be able to tell you about their experience.

On the day my labour was induced, the midwife rang me and told me what time to come in. I was on the labour ward but in a room designed for stillbirths so no baby equipment in the room, and away from the other delivery suites. I would say pack for a few days, I had to have three rounds of including with a 24 hour break in between before labour started, so I was in hospital for 6 days. My labour was lasted 7 hours, and you can have whatever pain relief you need. I had morphine and gas and air.

It's a personal choice of course, but I named my daughter. I bought her a gown to wear from a website for stillborn babies, and I asked the midwife to dress her before I saw and held her. I put a letter and a teddy in with her to be put in her coffin. The hospital gave me a keepsake box with her hand and foot prints, and they took photos of her for me.

The hospital will arrange either a funeral or a cremation for you. Please be aware that if you opt for the funeral as I did, it will be in a shared grave with other babies, and so you can't have your own headstone. I had a funeral arranged by them which was about 2 weeks later.

Sending you love and strength to get through this awful time ❤️

[Treaclepie19]

@UpsyDaisy1234

The injection didn't take long. He did it, checked for a little while. Asked me to go sit in a different room for a short while and then come back to make sure it had worked. I then had a tablet to stop my hormones. They said to come back 48 hours later but I was told I could come in any time that day (I think) as it was I reacted to the tablet so went back the next day to be checked over and they started the induction that night instead. So about 15 hours early.

We had a private room with a bathroom, that was on a part of the delivery ward that was slightly set away and only had two rooms. For people going through this.

They started the process at 5pm. I had a pessary in and then every 4 hours I had a tablet. They said they'd do 4 and see how we got on. In the end I had 4 or 5 tablets before he was born at 9.42am. Most of that time I was just normal or a little uncomfortable. The pains started after the tablet about 5/6am and I had some morphine which took the edge off. It wasn't long then until he was born. They will advise you take a bedpan to the toilet as its common for babies to be born on the toilet at early gestations. My little one was.

We named him. I was a bit sickly after he was born so I asked them to take him and bathe him for us. Then after I'd had an injection to calm down the sickness they brought him in and we spent time with him. They didn't rush us at all. The funeral was organised through the hospital and we were told it would be shared but were lucky enough to have a private service and cremation. They did give us a memory box. With hand and footprints, photos that a photographer came and did.

Oh and we took a blanket and Teddy that had belonged to his brother. The hospital provided clothes and blankets though. They were amazing and very considerate.

Even when I went for the injection they told me to come in early while clinic was empty. Feel free to message me if you have any questions

[Treaclepie19]

I was 22+4 when he was born, sending lots of love and strength

[UpsyDaisy1234]

@Treaclepie19 @1stbabs Thank you so much ladies. 

[Lockdownbabies]

@UpsyDaisy1234 sorry you have to go through this, yes I have had mine already 2 weeks 2 days ago now. Sorry I can’t give you much advice as a had surgical as I was 14 weeks!
Hope it all goes as well as can be for you xxx

[Isthisfinallyit]

@upsydaisy1234

I'm so sorry that you are going through this as well. I'm not in the UK so some protocols may be different but I can tell you how it went for me in the Netherlands.


Hello ladies, so i'm going in on friday morning to have the injection that will help put my baby to sleep, what do i expect on that day? And how long did it take? And anything i should know or prepare for? Did you take any pill on that day?

Secondly, I was told that i'd need to return after 48hrs (sunday) to the hospital for induction of labor. Did you have to there exactly at 48hours or did you just go in anytime on the day? Did you have to be in same room with other patients with similar or not similar situation? What do i expect when i get there? How many doses of the inducing pills did you to take? And long this your labor last?

I asked for something to put the baby to sleep so she didn't have to gobthrough the trauma of birth but they don't do that here. They said that they mostly died during birth, or shortly after. I was warmed that she might try to breathe for around ten minutes. I am very thankful that she died during birth, I found it a hellish idea to watch her die. So I didn't get a say in that.

I had to take a pill 36 hours before I went to hospital. They told me that it couldake me feel a bit crampy but not to panic that was normal. I was allowed to take paracetamol. In the hospital tgey gave me vaginal tablets every three hours till she was born. I started with these saturday esrly morning and she was born sunday early afternoon, so it took a while!

Take snacks, also for your partner, extra clothes that are comfy (or put them in the car so your partner can get them when needed), camera (even if you now think you don't want pictures, easiest thing not to use if you don't want to), something to do (I was really bored waiting at one point). Your own pads might also be a nice thing to have if you're a bit particular about that (like me). Take the tightest bra you own, put it on after birth for 4 days (also nights) to stop the milk from coming in. Also don't let warm shower water go over your chest (you can take bra off for shower), just keep your back to the shower and wash that way.

I had my own delivery room throughout. Not the normal one I believe though. I didn't see any other women (apart from the staff of course) although I could sometimes hear them screaming.

Thirdly, did you name your baby? Did you bring your own clothe & blanket for baby to dressed & wrapped in? Were you offered a free funeral or cremation? Were you offered a memory keepsake box?

Yes, we named her. I feel a bit outing to say it on here but it was kind of soothing that people told me she had a nice name. She existed for us, although nobody else met her so it makes it easier for me to talk about her. I sewed a blanket for her to wrap her in, had a tiny little plush toy and some charity had given the hospital a nice little blanket and crocheted butterflys, and I put those in with her. I had bought a pretty white basket for her to be put in and be cremated in and made a little bed for her in the basket on the second day. (We kept her in cold water the first day to look at her and take time to say goodbye. I know it sounds weird but it felt good at the time).

We weren't offered free cremation but different places have different cremation costs and for a baby it was a lot less than for an adult. What we didn't get to choose was the time of cremation, that had to be early morning because they have to do the babies while the oven is warming up, otherwise there'd be no ashes left to give back. Sorry if that is a bit of harrowing practical information, I thought so too but, well, you need to know.

Lastly, how long did you have to stay in the hospital?

I have type 1 diabetes plus that I needed my placenta removed surgically during which my blood pressure kept crashing and it took them many hours to get me stable again, so I'm not the norm here. In total I was there for a little over 3 days, half of it was induction. I believe it was a day longer than necessary because of my blood pressure. I was allowed to stay longer if I wanted to, but this was pre corona times of course.

So many questions🙈. Thank you so much in advance for your replies💐

Oh gosh, keep them coming. If it helps in any way please ask. It's such a difficult time to go through, and so little talked about, we need to talk about these things more.

[Isthisfinallyit]

OP, how are you doing now? It's good that you had the surgical, because that's what you preferred, right? It would have been my preferance to but I was too far gone. I'm sorry you felt sore afterwards. And about the bottling up, I firmly believe that our brains give us as much pain as we can cope with at the time, so if your grief is going in stages then I truely think that that is the best way for you to handle it. I'm also a bit sceptical about people who think that there is a right or wrong way to grieve. Best keep them at a distance now, you do your way. You're intelligent enough to ask for help if needed, and for the rest it's just how it goes. I hope you're more recovered now.

[Lockdownbabies]

@Isthisfinallyit thank you 😊 I’m doing much better physically feel nothing now mentally I’m getting there as you said think I just have to go through stages!! Back to work Wednesday which I am feeling very anxious about!!
Aww bless you must have been awfull yea I’m so glad I had the option of a surgical I don’t think I could have coped otherwise I’m so thankful I was asleep and have no memories of any of it! I feel for you that you could not have a surgical hope your doing ok? Xx

[Isthisfinallyit]

Good to hear your recovery is going well. If your anxious about work would it be a more comfortable idea to start with half a day? I feel it's easier to do a few hours than a whole day, especially if you're concerned about well meaning questions. Depends on your job of course if it's possible.

I'm fine, thank you for asking. It was more than a year ago for me and I had therapy which helped me massively with my emotions. I still get sad sometimes, and writing all that down does make me cry a little but it's just a short while and in normal day-to-day life I'm totally fine.

Please don't read further if it hurts to have pregnancy mentioned.

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I'm pregnant again which also helps with looking to the future. I hope all of you get through this as good as possible and ultimately have your wish granted.

[Lockdownbabies]

@Isthisfinallyit my manager did suggest this, but I am a support worker so do 12 hour shift, 8-8 but he suggested doing 9-5 in the office for first week but tbh I cannot afford to loose 4 hours a day after having 2 weeks off too I only get paid statutory sick pay of 80 pounds a week!
So instead I have come to the agreement of doing my full shifts but working in the office instead of being around everyone all day so feel slightly better about this!

I am glad therapy helped you and of course you will still get sad! This is something a woman could never forget!

Thank you for the warning hehe having pregnancy does hurt a little bit but my partners cousins just had a baby so something I’ll need to get used to and I am always happy for women who are pregnant they are lucky
So congratulations 😊 I hope this pregnancy goes well for you I really do like you said gives you something to look forward too aswel xx

[UpsyDaisy1234]

@Isthisfinallyit Oh! Thank you so much. And congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope all goes well this time.