Due August 2020 Thread 2

[cannotmakemymindup]

Hello ladies new thread here for all of us been chatting on thread 1 due in August with our babies!

The topic of pet dogs came up at our nct classes on Saturday. The course leader shared some advice from the dogs Trust, it might be worth looking to see if there are any cat organisations that have similar advice/some of the dog advice might be relevant to cats too.

I don't know if it applies to cats too but she said that dogs will be able to hear babies heartbeat - animals are aware of so much more than us humans!

When have you heard from the health visitor? My notes say I should hear from them at 28 weeks but that was last month, I guess covid has changed things.

My partner and I have been talking lots recently about little things he can do to develop a bond with her. He's worried that because he's at work for long days so will miss out. We have a few ideas even with me planing on breastfeeding. If possible I would like to express so that he can do the odd bottle probably more at the weekends, his hours/commute mean that even if we were formula feeding it wouldn't be practical for him to do night time feeds. I think half the battle is being aware that dads want and need that bond too.

@squashie34 My husband and I have talked about similar with our feeding plans. He'd really like to be able to do a couple of feeds a day, to help give me some longer patches of potential sleep. Then I read something a few weeks ago about the '6 week rule', which I hadn't heard about until then... did a bunch of reading, and it seems like people have such different experiences and have received such different advice around when they start expressing. I asked my midwife when I saw her last week, explaining our plan & circumstances, and she said it would be fine as soon as my milk came in 🤷🏻‍♀️ So, personally, we're going to try that, and just see how things go, adjust the plan accordingly depending on what my body is doing & how the baby reacts to things.

@WeeScottishWife thank you so much for that, that's great to hear! So are you planning on expressing twice a day for a bottle? That would be ideal for us too as then other half can do the late feed to get a bit of sleep before being woken up and maybe one in the day. Are you planning on expressing at the same time as he would be feeding them? Didn't know if it had to be at the same time otherwise it confuses the breasts?

Also, is anyone else feeling so uncomfortable in the bladder and pelvic area now? It just feels like a constant pressure now.. like I've held a pee for hours but I've only just been 😅 and when she wriggles on it oh gosh I feel like I could see! 5 weeks to go! 😩

@squashie34 i described it to dp as i feel like i have a water balloon between my legs i cant stop weeing haha. Little man is fully engaged tho x

The six week thing is to establish breast feeding with the baby. Bottle feeding is much easier for them, they don't have to work as hard, so it can result in them then rejecting the breast. There are lots of ways for Dad to bond with baby, we personally never wanted to risk either the baby getting lazy with feeding or my production, until later on. Not to deter you, just to let you know all the info; I'm all for whatever works for you guys though.

I've also always found expressing really hard work, and logistically it's tricky to simultaneously provide enough milk for your hungry baby in the moment, and save milk for a feed later on. I did use Haakaa silicone breast bump which kind of suctions onto the alternative breast to catch drips, whilst you feed on the other breast which work well.

I really really recommend washable bamboo breast pads, they are soooo good, super absorbant and really soft. I massively regret not discovering them on my first baby! I bought them on Amazon.

Eeek, can't wait! I absolutely ❤️ bf!

My plans are also to BF & express. I don’t really want to BF whilst out in public (nothing against woman who do this, it’s just not my preference for myself) plus I want to have some freedom & not feel like I can’t leave baby for a few hours without worrying about feeding. I would also like to DP to be involved. I’ve heard the best time to collect milk is when baby is feeding so the let down from the other breast. Thank you to the pp to recommend the haakaa, I didn’t know this existed so will have a look at them! I didn’t want to spend money on a breast pump in case for whatever reason I’m unable to BF & have wasted money on a pump so going to speak to my midwife as some hospitals will lend you a pump for a few weeks to see how you get on.

@cannotmakemymindup You would think he has thumbs 😂 he just jumps and hangs on the door handles until it opens. Don't even need a catflap he just comes and goes when he pleases 😂

@Flutterbunny My cats are very affectionate in their own little ways but not overly protective or anything. Maybe they will be protective over the baby too? In terms of being different.. not at all. Wake up, eat, go out, come in, eat then sleep haha what a great life!

I have also heard about this '6 week rule' thing with breastfeeding, is it going to be really difficult to express because i worry i'll never have enough for the baby? Oh i don't know, i'm so annoyingly new to all of this!

@Oldestchild90s please don’t worry, I’ve had several friends express so much some have donated to milk banks, one got so much she stopped feeding and still had a 3 month supply in the freezer for baby.

Hey! Great to see all the BF talk today, I've been trying to work out the best way as really would like OH to have at least one feed, OH's mum keeps saying I have to pump so they can all feed baby after it's born but I don't think I like that idea either. Mind field.

Off topic but can anyone that's been through it recommend the best post birth pads/underwear/nappies or whatever and how many might be needed? I want to get my hospital bag sorted this week but haven't a clue about that side of it. Thanks in advance 😘

I didn't find personally it difficult to express with my daughter. I had a good supply. This was even after having my emergency C-section and my milk taking about 5 days to come in properly.

I did used to express whilst feeding on other boob to and from early on as I had such a big let down.

I have my breastfeeding nct class on Thursday its the one I'm looking forward too the most!
I would happily let my partner fed expressed or formula milk to our little one but I am not sure I would be willing to let half the family though. Its funny the things that family members want to insist on. Definitely a mind field! Remember you don't have to do anything you don't want, I know it isn't always easy though!

I'm doing cloth sanitary towels. I have bought 5 maternity sized ones (can work as night pads afterwards) and 9 heavy flow sized ones and a backup pack of disposals. Not sure on underware, I've heard big m and s knickers are good and if you are worried about everything staying in place boxers over knickers & pads can help but that feels like a lot of layers for August to me!
I have bought some knickers from asda a size up from my usual which I was going to use but I'm worried they might not be quite roomy enough so might look at going a size bigger. I need to have a rummage through my underwear drawer as I am pretty sure I have several big & comfy but passed there best pairs hidden at the back.

I also never had any issues expressing, and didn't have any supply issues even when latch was rubbish and painful, in fact I tended towards oversupply and had to be careful not to overpump. Even though I didn't struggle with breastfeeding, I rarely bothered and certainly not in the early days as wanted to avoid messing up supply/causing nipple confusion.

With my first, I expressed lots of milk as was going back to work at 6 months, but she rejected the bottle and would only drink from a cup, so we gave up. With my second I didn't even bother trying to express and get her on a bottle as we had no reason to, as I wasn't going back to work till 9 months. I've never been that bothered about not being able to leave the baby in the first few months though, and generally found after that if I bf baby before I went somewhere I could pop out for a bit anyway. This time I am going back to work at 7 months so will try to make more of an effort to express and get baby to take bottle, but if it doesn't work out then it'll be fine in the end - it was with my eldest.

I think the main reason to potentially avoid expressing and bottle feeding in the first 6 weeks is as @MamaFirst says, it can lead to nipple confusion and baby rejecting the breast (though experiences vary). A friend of mine had a baby a few months ago with severe tongue tie and was told to top up with formula and expressed milk, and she had a struggle with him rejecting the breast because it wasn't as easy as the bottle. I have heard about paced bottle feeding which might be something to consider for those who are planning to combi feed or regularly feed expressed milk feeds. No idea how it works but it is supposed to help with avoiding bottle preference (I think?).

On the feeding in public thing, I think each to their own but I never had a problem with doing it and never faced any comments or negativity about it. Its just feeding your baby like someone bottle feeding a baby and I found most of the time people didn't even notice I was feeding.

Knicker wise big, dark, comfy & cheap for sure. You want ones you will likely throw afterwards. Some people wear the tena pants as disposable options. I was lucky with bleeding last time and the worst was done in a week. The maternity pads have a smoother finish than heavy flow towels but are quite uncomfortable. I’ve been recommended the lillets maternity pads with wings this time but they aren’t stocked in many places.

Oh yes and @jmill13 I want to echo what @superscientist said and say that its definitely your choice who feeds your baby! I am the type of person who would dig my heels in if anyone had the cheek to tell me I "had" to express and let them/other people feed the baby! Your baby, your choice! I think grandparents can get a bit like that, thinking they have certain rights automatically (not just with feeding), my mum certainly tends that way a bit, but at the end of the day its your baby and nobody should be telling you what to do (of course, asking is fine, so long as they are prepared for an honest answer 😅)

@Bert2020 just wanted to say, I had a call from my midwife today just to check how I was doing after the whole hospital stint, and I mentioned about expressing. She literally told me exactly what you said yesterday so wanted to Thankyou again for letting me know as I would of never known!! I’m also really glad to know because if little man decides to overstay his welcome in the womb past the 1st august, I’ll be straight in the pump to try and get him to make his way 😂❤️

Ive ordered some big m&s black knickers today, got some already but I figured there’s chance they’ll get ruined! I got some of the lilets maternity pads off amazon - we discussed these in nct and ones with wings are a good idea apparently. All
The joys to come!! www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07LBLQSWP/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_V1L8Eb8E7HZC6?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Evening ladies

Thanks for advise on pads and knickers. Will get ordering tomorrow.

I know think OH's mum is just so excited to finally have a grandkid and I've taken away a bit by saying I'm going to breastfeed if I can. Haven't had the heart to tell her that she probably won't get a feed at least for a while but then I might pump if I'm going to be going to their house so I don't have to BF in front of everyone.

Back to midwife tomorrow to make sure my blood pressure has gone back down to normal, though had a right faff tonight, dad's house caught fire so was a mad rush trying to get him on the phone, bloody nightmare. Thankfully he was at his partners house so the house was empty and it's mostly just smoke damage, but definitely stressful all the same. So currently lying on the sofa trying to chill out after a crazy few hours.

Hope all you ladies are doing well

Goodness @JMill13 glad everyone is safe and well, that must have been horrible. Not sure your BP will be that great tomorrow!! 🙃 Have a good sleep x

@JMill13 I think your blood pressure may still be sky high after that one! So glad he was at his partners house and he’s safe and well I presume? So horrible though he just be devastated poor thing 💔 try not to stress out, though it’s hard. Hope you get everything sorted! Thinking of you all xx

@worriedbutterfly @firstmummytobe thank you. Trying to just chill and not think about it really for now. Was more sad than anything as is the house I grew up in, though for some reason my old bedroom is the only room in the entire house that is completely untouched by smoke which is crazy weird as its the room right above the kitchen where the fire was 🙈. Hoping a wee morning off work will keep my blood pressure nice and chill before my appointment later. Yes dads all good thankfully, just a bit shocked and sad really. 2020 officially the weirdest most ridiculous year yet 😂 x

Just a question regarding measurements on ultrasound- I've just got back from my growth scan and all is great- baby is estimated at 5lb 15oz now at 34+3 and all measurements look great on the percentile charts, except for the femur length, which is off the chart at 99th percentile. Neither myself nor my partner are tall at all, and when I showed my other half he joked 'are you sure I'm actually the dad?! ' which has actually hugely upset me 🙁 I struggle with such bad anxiety at the minute and obtrusive thoughts as it is and now I'm worrying that he's going to just be thinking this now and won't get excited! (Of course I haven't ever been with everyone else, unless it happened whilst drunk in a nightclub in full public view that I just have totally no recollection of for 8 months 😆)

Sorry if this sounds pathetic, my pregnancy brain right now is in overdrive incase you can't tell.

@JMill13 - I hope you’re appointment goes well today lovely, what a scary experience for you and your dad, so thankful that he’s ok xx

I’ve had abit of a drama this morning. I walked into a door handle, right at the front of my tummy and it was SO painful and now I have a tender spot on my tummy. I called my mum (who is a nurse) to see what I should do - she said that baby is really well protected and it would have hurt me a lot more than baby and just to keep an eye on movements also that my waters don’t broke if I have somehow ruptured something.
Baby has been moving since and I’m not in any pain.
Has anyone else experienced similar? It’s the 3rd door handle I’ve walked into in the last few day’s, I need to be more careful, I was so annoyed at myself this morning.
X

@Flutterbunny I keep doing this when trying to squeeze through a gap in the door - I'm clearly not as slim as I think I am 🤣😅 just keep an eye on it and be mindful of movements today! You might get a bruise too because the skin is so tight there now 🤭

@flutterbunny I’ve regularly started bumping into things & trying to squeeze past things, I’m just not used to being so big so completely misjudge things 🙈 I wouldn’t stress too much about it! My friend was in a car bump (rear ended) when she was pregnant & seatbelt went right into her tummy & she was absolutely fine, baby is here now & very healthy! There is a lot of things protecting them in there, it’s more sore for you especially with your skin tightening