Due August 2020 Thread 2

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Hello ladies new thread here for all of us been chatting on thread 1 due in August with our babies!

@NamiSwan I love the name Renata! And I don't think it's that unusual... just very classic and regal.

Little madam has decided to flip back into a transverse position and I have been SO uncomfortable the last 2 days. Yesterday I stayed in PJs all day cos I tried mat jeans and felt so constricted. Today my bump is really tender and sore at the top and in the lower right side. Does anyone else get a tender spot right at the top of their bump? I don't know if it's normal, or because I have a scar there.

Hi Ladies,

Hope you're all ok! I had a phone call with the Health Visitor today and she scared me a little. I'm really scared about SIDS now.. more than ever. Is anyone else? Also, i'm starting to think twice about breastfeeding. As great as it is she told me it was going to be really difficult for the first few weeks and frustrating for me especially if the technique isn't right.

I think i'm just having a bad day 😢 my first day into shielding and i feel like this. Sorry, just needed to rant!

@Oldestchild90s breastfeeding can be hard to start but when you crack it, it is so much easier and worthwhile. I have a long old story of it not working but I’m in the minority and still Combi fed for a year.
SIDS is super scary but read the guidlines and be confident with them, I still check my 3 year old fairly regularly.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

@Bert2020 can I ask you a bit about combi feeding? Did you do it straight from birth? We've just had our nct breastfeeding class and my idea was to express maybe 2 feeds a day from the start so that my other half could get involved - it's something he's so passionate about doing and I think it's going to be so important for him to bond with her. He's struggled with bonding during pregnancy and it's lovely to see him want to do this so much (he even wanted to do night feeds so that I could sleep!) but on the course the last basically said that any expressing in the first 6 weeks will interrupt your feed.

@Oldestchild90s I know what you mean, I feel the breastfeeding a little overwhelming too.. the only thing making me think I'm going to try is the apparent deduction in SIDS stats?

@Bert2020 Thank you for the reassurance ❤️ with SIDS, the thing i'm worried about is my cats. We planned on having a moses basket, then decided on a bedside crib with a dome like net on top to protect her from the cats jumping in but when i explained this to the health visitor she said i need to call the lullaby trust to double check as it may not be safe, i called them and they could not give a definite answer as they haven't tested cat nets and stuff so i'm really not sure what to do now.

I know a lot of you will be saying/thinking shut the cats out at night but one has mastered opening doors 🙀 (some people have suggested getting rid of them, please don't say that 😭) so thats ruled out. I think alot of this is really starting to stress me out and worry too much.

@squashie34 of course, honestly I wish more people spoke about it. The EBF team can be quite militant and it’s off putting and can be scary too. When I was pregnant the first time I was warned by a very good friend not to wait for 6 weeks as she then had a bottle refuser and no matter what she tried her son would not entertain anything other than breast. So long as you express then you should have enough milk come in to keep supply up. One of the best bottles to hand over is the late evening one, you feed and then go to bed after early evening. Your partner then waits and feeds the late evening so you get a few hours in before the middle of the night feed. The early hours are the best for keeping your supply. There is also a catcher, it’s termed a pump but it doesn’t pump called a hakkaa that you can use to collect your let down. We started Combi at 9 days because dd lost 13% body weight and I refused readmission to hospital, we used formula as I didn’t actually produce enough milk due to likely hypoplasia and undiagnosed tongue tie.

Oh @Oldestchild90s I really for you. There’s no way you can let your fur babies go. A friend of mines cat took one look at the baby and never went near, even now! I think I’m the main the officials like to scare the hell out of you which in turn drives you crazy! They have to give the worst case and err on the side of caution because of who they are. I’m sure lots of people use the cat nets, maybe look into the reviews? We don’t have pets so I’m no use on that front I’m afraid.

@squashie34 sorry that’s not clear, if you get a hakkaa or similar you need a pump also to stimulate the flow, the Hakkaa is purely a catcher imo.

Hey @heroineinahalfshell I have experienced braxton hicks this evening and I get quite a pain on my right side. I wondered if it was from sitting at a desk all day.

@Oldestchild90s, you're HV doesn't sound overly encouraging - maybe just trying not to give false hope. I have the worry about cats, one thing I read was beforehand you can put sticky stuff - like strips of packing tape on to the furniture your baby will use and when they go to investigate they won't like it. Interesting to know about the cat nets as I was looking at them.

@squashie34 - I read somewhere that I think initially it helps to express at the same time as your OH gives the bottles, this keeps the follow going and routine. Tedious but if it helps establish the right levels etc could help. It is so daunting, if started to read French children don't throw food and it does make you realise how much pressure we have here.

Okay so I just pumped my first breast milk 😆 seeing as I was leaking a lot I thought it would be a good chance to have a little go of the breast pump, and I managed a solid 4oz of liquid gold in 15/20 mins!
I’ve sterilised a bottle and put it in there (were using MAM brand of bottles) and frozen it to use as the first feed incase he doesn’t latch on.
I’m going to keep expressing as soon as I leak, and just freezing it in pouches, I was really surprised I was able to express as much as I did! My boobs also don’t feel as swollen and sore, so for the ladies who have really huge sore breasts this could be good for you too if you have started leaking!

@Bert2020 - so glad you've said that as I was looking at the Hakkaa and couldn't work out how it pumped!

@WorriedButterfly I’m sure it shouldn’t be allowed to be called a pump, it does cause a suction to keep it on but none of the regular action required for stimulation.
@Firstmummytobe sorry to be a party pooper but please be careful, expressing isn’t recommended until 36/37 weeks as can cause preterm labour. It can cause uterine contractions. I only know this because of the GD and a group I’m in because of that. There are again things you can buy to collect the leakage but they discourage active pumping. So sorry to speak out.

@Bert2020 i will look into things and make sure i'm 100% certain before buying anything!

@WorriedButterfly I did find some crib that was called a cocoon or something and that had a built in net with good reviews. I questioned this as well, the lady on the phone said it's more to do with the hot weather and babies temperature under the net than the actual cats jumping on it which makes some sense! She recommended using a fan in the room if the weather gets too hot, but i do think they have to warn you of worst case scenarios which is fair enough.
I'll keep on doing my research before purchasing though 🙂

Thankyou so much for the advice I had never heard of this before! To be honest, one of the midwives on the ward mentioned it seeing as my boobs were really swollen and sore, but now that you’ve mentioned that that’s something to bear in mind!! And no don’t apologise, we’re all here for the same thing, advice and knowledge!! @Bert2020
It’s crazy how you have to think about everything that you do even though you think your doing best!! To be honest, this leaking was ALOT, literally dripping down my stomach without a breast pad on (sorry for the details 😂) and it just seems such a shame to waste as they say the first bit of colostrum you produce is the most rich in nutrients. But as you say maybe they mean to use something to just collect the leaking rather than pump? Something to look at maybe x

Thank you @Firstmummytobe I felt awful saying it when you are so happy. 4oz is awesome! They do sell syringes online to collect but they are only 1ml so you would need a lot! There are also small cups to collect it in also thy fit inside your bra. I used to wake up soaked at night, which reminds me you may need to start sleeping on a towel for comfort and to save your bed with the amount you are making. A friend was feeding her 2 year old when her colostrum came in with her youngest and she went crazy for it, said it was delicious and couldn’t get enough.

I’m happy you said because I’m trying to stay off of doctor google at the min after the amount of crap I’ve had to go through the past few weeks! So honestly your advice is a good thing.

Yes I will 100% be sleeping on a towel the save the bedding 🤣 I think it’s a good sign at least I know that my body is producing a lot of milk and hopefully it keeps it up until babe is here! Lots of love ❤️

@squashie34 I don't think you need to worry about your partner bonding with baby after birth/struggling to bond in pregnancy, as its quite abstract for men and quite common for them to be a bit detached from it during pregnancy, or him needing to bottle feed for him to bond with baby. I EBF both my previous children and my husband was involved in other ways and bonded with both early on and they are both massive daddies girls now. I'm not saying don't do it if you want to (they are loads of reasons why people might want not to EBF which I totally respect), but I see the line that bottle feeding = bonding for other people touted a lot and it just isn't true. Just as it isn't the case (on the other hand for eg) that brestfeeding gives you some magic bond or closeness with your baby that you can't get from bottle feeding. I guess my point is that feeding isn't the only way for other people to bond with the baby. My DH has always enjoyed lots of snuggles, carrying baby in sling and doing bath time for early bonding 🙂

@firsttimemummytobe as someone else said earlier in the thread, its not advised to express this early as it can bring on early labour. In fact nipple stimulation is one of the few natural ways to induce labour which can actually work due to the hormonea it induces. Something to try when we're all overdue 😂

@WorriedButterfly that's a good shout about Braxton Hicks, that didn't even occur to me but it makes sense as the skin on my bump also feels tight.

We also have 2 cats who are used to sleeping in the bedroom with us (and our bedroom door is busted so we can't shut them out). Been looking at cat nets but they all have awful reviews, so now I'm not sure what we'll do! It'll be fine when she moves to her own room as can just shut them out, but it's the 6 months in the Next2Me I'm worried about....

On the breastfeeding front, it seems quite a few people are getting streased about it so as a seasoned breastfeeder (15 months with dd1 and 30 months 😳 with dd2) I would just say - from my perspective- try not to stress about it (I know, easier said than done). I had an awful time in the first 6 weeks of breastfeeding both my kids, no supply issues but terrible latching and pain. I stuck it out and once bf became easy I did genuinely enjoy it and I feel it was easy and there are benefits for baby (e.g. calming them down when they are stressed) and you (weight loss!- I've never been as skinny as I was when bf). However at the end of the day, its not a big deal how you feed and if it doesn't work for you then it doesn't work and baby (and you) will be totally fine. So it depends on how much you actually want to do it. Basically, my experience of breastfeeding was ultimately very positive, but not everyone finds the same, and that's fine. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself over it 😊 sorry if that sounds a bit patronising 😱

@heroineinahalfshell we also have a cat who was used to sleeping in our bedroom before we had kids..we ended up locking him in the kitchen at night, starting from my first pregnancy so he didn't associate it with the baby arriving. We never bothered with a cat net and tbh he never showed any interest in the bednest or cot, in fact no interest in either of my kids when babies at all and made himself scarce as soon as we brought the baby into a room where he was as he got freaked out by them crying 😅

@Bert2020 and @Firstmummytobe this is so interesting hearing how much milk you produce so early on. Do you just continue producing colostrum until baby gets here? Would pumping to express be a good natural labour inducer closer to the time, do you think? I produce masses once baby is born, but it never occurred to me that people could make so much so early before labour!

Ah that's reassuring @NamiSwan - and thanks for the tips re breastfeeding- that's the attitude I'm hoping to maintain. I think I feel more pressure for it to work bc my mum managed to express for 5 weeks while I was in NICU and then ultimately breastfed me for 17 months so I feel like if she could do that, I should be able to bf - but equally know lots of people who haven't been successful at bfing for myriad reasons, so don't want to beat myself up if it doesn't happen.

Hi ladies hope you dont mind me joining, were due 14th aug with baby number 3 😍

Been reading this thread and want to offer reassurance about cats...

When my second dd was born we had no pets 2 weeks later my foster mums cat had kittens and refused 1, i bottle fed him along with baby, he never once tried to get in her crib pram ect never laid on her infact if she was laid in her pram ect he laid in front of it and attacked anyone that went anywhere near, seven years on if shes poorly he still gaurds her now. I recently put my moses basket up as we have a second cat now and wanted to be sure he knew not to go in it, both cats will lay in front of it but none have ever tried to get in xx

@Mummapenguin20 Welcome and congratulations! I'm due 15th with my first ❤️

Thanks for the cat tip, i know deep down my cats will be completely harmless but what i find difficult is the negativity i've had around the situation. I've had people tell me to get rid of them and all sorts, you learn to deal with things in situations you shouldn't just abort mission and run but that's just my opinion. Anyway, i'm glad i have a positive review to go by so thanks a lot for that!

These Cat Tips are helpful thank you - I have 2 - one of which is particularly possessive over me so I’ve been a little worried.
Those with cats, are they acting any different now your pregnant? My oldest, possessive cat, is literally following me around EVERYWHERE! I’ve re-names her my ‘shadow’ because every time I turn around she is there! Also she’s been snuggling up to my bump when Im sat on the sofa - it’s very cute if a little unnerving!
X

I'm going to second what @NamiSwan says about breastfeeding and bottle feeding whichever option you end up with OH bond with their child either way.

My DH still does the bed and bath time routine including reading and prayers before sleep with DD now 6 years later. Started when she was a tiny baby in the evenings. They definitely have a great bond laughing about farts and the like! (Girls are gross to )

MAM bottles are the best for combi/express feeding we found. Plus easy to sterilise etc.

I had a call from health visitor yesterday and she wasn't negative at all. I really enjoyed the conversation and them knowing me better before they meet us after birth of baby. Such a shame your health visitor was negative and making you worry unnecessarily @Oldestchild90s Does your cat have thumbs? 🤣 I think with the cat thing anyway, babies are meant to be in the same room as us for sleeping day and night so you're going to notice if a cat has made it's way to a moses basket or cot where the baby is.