Cancelled baby shower

[2020firsttimemum]

I knew it was gonna happen but now it's official. My baby shower for 7th June has been officially cancelled.

I still feel massively upset and annoyed at the world about it even though I expected it.

And it's been moved to September even though our baby boy is due 3rd July. It almost seems pointless to me.

Not too sure why I'm posting this, a bit of a rant I guess.

As a first time mum, all the fun things have been taken away from this experience and I think my baby shower being cancelled is the final straw.

Anyone else feeling this shit about it? 😭

Why move it to September? It is indeed pointless

I had no baby shower and never once felt I was missing out. It’s really not an essential part of pregnancy is it?

I’d rather have a baby shower after baby’s here, makes much more sense to celebrate once you know babys arrived and all’s well.

But it’s ok to be upset OP, lots of us aren’t getting the pregnancies we thought we were signing up for.

Of course it's not, and I'm intrigued as to what the other fun things you'd had stolen from you were? Can you give an example?

It’s shit, so many people are having to cancel big events. I probably wouldn’t rearrange a baby shower for after the birth tho, it’s a bit pointless, you can’t play games and guess the gender etc when the baby is here!

Not about not having a baby shower as I didn’t want one, but yes a lot of the nice parts of pregnancy/mat leave don’t apply at the moment.

There’s worse going on and as long as my baby gets here safely I’ll be thrilled, but I agree it isn’t the best time to be pregnant!

The fun bit comes when your baby arrives:) Don't worry about your baby shower, most mums never had one anyway.

Baby showers are a terrible idea in my opinion. You are celebrating and making a massive assumption that a baby will arrive safely. I am sorry but the safe arrival of a baby is an absolute miracle to celebrate onece it has arrived. They also seem to ask for presents.
Being pregnant is a very exciting time but it really isnt party time.
By the same token I am sorry you are disappointed and hope you enjoy the magic of your firstborn which is so amazing no baby shower could hold a candle to it.

Make it a welcome baby party in September instead.

It's shit, so many people are having to cancel big events
Nonsense. The birth is the big event, and that's not being cancelled.

Baby showers are a fad adopted from the US. Completely pointlessness IMO you haven’t missed out on anything having not had one.

Yeah, it is a bit pointless

Why dont you have a facetime / video call baby shower with all your friends/family instead? I've seen lots of people doing it!

I’m also pregnant with my baby due in the next two weeks and I have to be honest that I think you’re being utterly ridiculous.

All the ‘extras’ that have grown up around having a baby - baby showers, gender reveal parties etc are just that - extras. The self pity and outrage that has erupted about missing out on baby showers before baby, classes/coffees/socialising on mat leave after baby are pathetic and incredibly self indulgent. You’re having a baby. That’s the point of pregnancy. Not to have parties where everyone sits in a circle and gives you gifts. I’m genuinely staggered by the sense of entitlement that some pregnant women/new mums are demonstrating at the minute. And don’t even get me started on the petition to extent maternity leave.....

I'm 29 and most of my friends have had babies...no ones ever had a baby shower...

You won't get much sympathy on here OP (!)

Personally I think it's nice to be able to see all your friends and have a catch up before the baby arrives. Who cares if the idea came from the States, or what the idea is called? Men get to go down the pub after the baby comes (although maybe not now!) and what did we ever get? SFA. Just all the fucking donkey work.

So I like the general idea of them and I get why you feel down about it. Hope you are feeling a bit more cheery soon.

Nonsense. The birth is the big event, and that's not being cancelled

I actually meant that the baby shower isn’t a big event, as opposed to people having to cancel weddings etc

Oh, sorry, bloodyhells . I completely misunderstood.

Baby showers are a new thing. Millions of us older mums didn’t have them and it didn’t take any of the happiness away from our lovely babies being born.

@Lolalovesmarmite I think you’re being a little harsh. In the grand scheme it doesn’t matter when compared to lives but new mums are allowed to be upset they miss antenatal classes/baby groups etc as that’s one of the nice things to enjoy and look forward to on mat leave. I’m currently on leave with my second and it’s worlds apart from my first (incredibly hard and mind numbingly boring). If it was my only ever child or first pregnancy I would be disappointed. All the coping mechanisms I used when struggling with my first (getting out for long walks, meeting friends, having family support) aren’t possible. Mat leave isn’t supposed to be you and your baby trapped in a house 24/7 for weeks/months. Have a heart. And no I DIDNT sign that petition even I thought that was ridiculous 😂

For the OP it’s ok to feel disappointed. Feel it, grieve the plans you had that won’t happen and try to make peace and move on. It’s really hard and I feel for you.

Sorry OP. Mine was meant to be last Saturday and obviously didn’t go ahead! To be honest though I was more annoyed about not being able to scoff cake all afternoon than anything else

We’re hoping to have a ‘meet the baby’ gathering with friends and family in the autumn instead (due date 22/06) which I’m sure will be much nicer anyway.

you're getting a bit of a hard time here OP.

you can be disappointed - I'm disappointed my mat leave is being spent like this where my family are missing my 6 month old hit major milestones, I was looking forward to her first swimming lessons, our friends have a similar age baby we had lots of plans with. not massive deal in the grand scheme of things but I think it's okay to feel pissed off at the things you feel you are missing. I certainly do!

I never had a baby shower but I get that it was something you were personally looking forward to. I would still have a bit of a get together in september - a welcome to the world party which will be even more exciting as baby will be here!

Well, technically maternity leave is supposed to be for the mother to recover physically, not swan about having coffee with her mates, Napqueen.

None of us are living the way we're supposed to right now.