Cancelled baby shower

[2020firsttimemum]

I knew it was gonna happen but now it's official. My baby shower for 7th June has been officially cancelled.

I still feel massively upset and annoyed at the world about it even though I expected it.

And it's been moved to September even though our baby boy is due 3rd July. It almost seems pointless to me.

Not too sure why I'm posting this, a bit of a rant I guess.

As a first time mum, all the fun things have been taken away from this experience and I think my baby shower being cancelled is the final straw.

Anyone else feeling this shit about it? 😭

Baby showers are another awful american import. ...and a recent one, at that. If I was a relative or friend I'd be breathing a sigh of relief that I didn't have to take part!

You are entitled to be upset but I find it hard to sympathise with you. Baby showers are a new thing, IMO they are unnecessary, more for Instagram. Having a get together when baby arrives safe and healthy would be better.

If this is all you have to be upset about then maybe you should be counting your blessings instead.

Another American fad....funnily enough I am another mum of 3 that is perfectly happy and I didn't have one let alone 3. Getting upset about not having one is like getting upset about Halloween being cancelled IMO.

Sorry you feel that way OP. How about having a "3 month afternoon tea" or similar rather than a baby shower? That way you get together with friends and it's not billed as a "baby shower" which it isn't really. Good luck with your pregnancy!

Think of all the money you'll (your relieved guests) will save!

You can have a "welcome to the world" party instead and everyone can say hello to baby. I would never myself want a babyshower and I'm thrilled that it wont be possible now that I'm pregnant during corona. But we're all different and I can understand your dissapointment. Just think of all the people not being able to spend their birthdays (especially 20 and 30 y/o). Everyone is missing out on major things this year. I was supposed to be on a yacht right now in Greece with my to children before little sister is here, but now we will have to do it with a little baby next year.

Try and think of anything positive in your life: Baby is healthy, baby is coming (I know loads in fertility treatment who can't even try right now due to clinics being closed) and whatever else you have going on in your life that is worth thinking positively about.

My friend's shower has been cancelled as well, so we're taking it to Zoom instead. It won't be the same, but better than nothing. Could you do that? We've sent her cards & presents through the post and she's going to open them when we're on the call. Her husband has sorted a delivered afternoon tea for her as well.

It is pointless. Your baby will still be loved and cooed over and spoilt with lots of presents. No need for a shower FFS.

Don't be a sheep. Be an individual, do something different. Go on I dare you.

Is it because your going to miss out on gifts? I don't see what else you're not going to experience?
That's all it is... surely the people you want to meet your baby will make the effort once he's here and safe to do so?

Another one who dislikes baby showers and finds it distasteful. I dont understand celebrating when the baby isn't safely here yet.

But I get being disappointed. We havent told many people yet but will most likely have to do most of it over the phone which is a real shame.

2 types of response here it seems 😂😂

Thank you to all of those that have a little bit of compassion and can see where I'm coming from. For those that clearly can't, let me explain a bit further...

A baby shower for me wasn't the 'sitting around and being showered in gifts' (I HATE opening presents in front of people anyway lol I feel awkward)
It was about having fun with ALL of my friends and family in one place and celebrating the baby before he arrives. As we all know, it's quite hard when you're fat and due to drop soon to see everyone. It was about making me feel good (go on, judge me) I've felt entirely crap through this pregnancy and although he was planned and I love him very much, it was something to look forward too.

Things that have so far been taken away?

• pram shopping
• clothes shopping
• looking at nursery ideas in shops
• actual appointments with midwifes (that only adds to stress)
• antenatal classes and meeting new people.

To name just a few.

Yes I am fully aware that people are dying and I feel for every single family that is going through that.
I mean a wedding is just a celebration of someone's love is it not? It can be rebooked can't it?

Whilst I understand that not everyone is going to be sympathetic (and that's fine) I feel as if it's quite unfair for some of you to attack me or call me dramatic. Surely we're all allowed to grieve things we've been unable to do during lockdown?

I'm sad that my son may miss out on meeting family and friends for a long time too. (My family loves 150 miles away or so from where I live) and I worry that it could affect his social development.

Jesus just being pregnant and hormonal is not fun.

Again, thank you to all those that understood where I was coming from. I didn't expect this post to get so many comments 😂

Clearly rattled a few cages here ey

celebrating the baby before he arrives. That's just arse over tit, if you'll pardon the expression. Celebrate him when he arrives.

@81Byerley well even if you were invited to one it doesn't mean you'd have to go 🤦🏽‍♀️

There are lots of things that I'm disappointed about (holiday being another one)

But it's been cancelled today so it's fresh in my mind. I'm sure I'll feel better about it all tomorrow but for today I'm gonna be a bit pissed about it all ✋🏼

I’m no fan of baby showers but if you want one why not have a zoom event?

My baby shower is due 31st May I'm not expecting it to go ahead but we are officially waiting to see what Boris has to say at the weekend I'm hopping we can still have it even if we move it back to the second weekend in June as baby is due 19th June.

I feel for you for the things you’ve missed out on. But, to me, the baby shower seems the least important. I’d never heard of them until very recently.

@2020firsttimemum I can fully understand why your upset, this pregnancy is my 3rd I've never had a baby shower for my other 2 they wasn't around here then, but my sisters wanted to do it for me as the first 18 weeks of my pregnancy was really touch and go and when they ask me about doing a shower I said no, then one day after a check up due to complications my sister rang and I said if this all goes well let's have a baby shower for me too it's not about the gifts it was to celebrate I had even got past all the issue this baby wasn't planed and after everything I wanted to enjoy and have all the people that have love and supported me, But even if my baby shower can't go ahead my sister want to do a welcome to the world celebration so maybe that what you can do also

Bit random but what about doing a lockdown one on zoom? My lovely friends and hubby threw me one last weekend and it was so lovely. We played baby shower games online and my hubby had gone to a lot of effort with an afternoon tea, baking, balloons and bunting. I know it's not the same as in person but we made the most of it and I will be one of the few to say they had a lockdown baby shower 😂.

I had two baby showers for my first (the most spoiled individual by mn standards) and they were amazing. One was with my friends in my house really casual and I did everything and my best friend arrived ahead of time with decorations and a Polaroid camera to get pics and make a scrap book- I was blown away. And my mom did one in her house for all my aunts and cousins. No games just a chance for a party. And actually I think you're onto something. I didn't have one the second time around because I was mortified by presents the first time, but I think I'll have one this time when the baby is 2 or 3 months old and have all my aunts and cousins round again for a cuddle. You're defo onto something there. Also you can have a glass or two of bubbles if you have had the baby! It's an exceptional idea!

Oh wow. The responses on here are so unnecessary.
I’m so sorry your shower was cancelled, I hope you get chance to see your friends before your baby comes. But the thought of a welcome to the world party once baby is here sounds lovely... although I recommend inviting your partner along so they can look after the baby whilst you all chat! xx

@2020firsttimemum

In normal circumstances the things you mention might not be possible.

I had severe HG and was in hospital during pregnancy. I was so ill I couldn't walk.

I didn't do:

Pram shopping
Clothes shopping
Looking at Nursery Ideas
Appointments with mid wives or Ante natal appointments
Ante natal classes and meeting new people

It didn't affect motherhood or the baby.

You are free to grieve your loss of normality but please consider those people who have much harder things to worry about.

You can still celebrate, it's just not in the way you were planning.

Christ how harsh can people be! I'm due in August and I can totally see why you would be disappointed and I agree to all of the points you raised about missing out on things! I can understand why the older generation might not get it cos it was never a thing but when you fall pregnant you think of all the exciting things you can do like shopping for a pram, baby clothes shopping, share your pregnancy with your friends and family, show off your bump, the list goes on. All of that has been taken away from us. So I think you have a right to be disappointed I know I am as a FTM and I don't care if people think I'm an awful person for feeling slightly disappointed! I can't believe people would attack someone under these circumstances!

Actually a September baby shower is way better ! We had a party after the baby was born instead of a baby shower . I could drink, I didn’t feel uncomfortable pregnant and I could show off my newborn 🥰. It was great !!!

I know it’s disappointing but we are all in this together . Everyone I know has been upset and disappointed by something. Every time I find myself feeling upset by something I remind myself of everything I have to be grateful for . I hope that helps !

And to everyone who had negative comments about baby shower , COME ON! Are you really helping ? 😔

I’m having one I’ve beer had one before and really just would like a nice afternoon and some cake etc but we will only have 7 people there all from the same household so it will still feel like an occasion

beer-never