Oh scampy she sounds like a rude cow, who is miserable in one way or another and wants to bring you down. Some women get like this when they have had a baby and the see someone who's pregnant - they just love thinking they have one up on you because they know something you don't. It's madness because someone who's been through it should be supportive, but that's not always how it works.... but remember - she has been through her experience of pregnancy and birth, not yours - you are unique and for you it will be how it will be.
Some alternatives:
"You think you are big now? Just wait until you are seven months gone."
You look beautiful and as your pregnancy goes on you will look more and more amazing because that big bump means you are making another brand new shiny little person. Fab!
"You and dh get on well now but once the baby is born you'll never get on that well again. You can forget your marriage."
Yes your relationship may change. if it's strong now, it may be different, but better. You can handle it.
"See, you think that you look pregnant but here in America you just look fat."
No, you look pregnant. So in America, there are a lot of fat people who look fat. The more pregnant you get, the more pregnant you will look.
"Kids will drive you insane. It's a nightmare. They'll never be what you want them to be."
If you don't set out with that atitude, that you expect your kids to be a certain way, then they will be happy kids who will be who they want to be.
And it's not a nightmare, it's great.
"Oh, labour is just horrific. The worst thing you can ever go through. You haven't a clue about what's going to hit you."
Well, she's right that you can't imagine what it's like - and she can't imagine what it's going to be like for you either. For many women it's the most amazing, positive and moving experience - even for me with a long, painful labour followed by a caesarean.
"Oh, you haven't got a clue have you! Just wait until the baby is born. Then you'll find out what it's really like."
Um, yes you will. You'll find out that it's the most amazing experience ever and you never knew you could feel such love.
"That top looks nice on you. You know you won't be able to get into it in a couple of months don't you?"
Yes, that's great. That's because you are pregnant which is something to celebrate. Plus you'll get to wear it again later. Er, can't see any negatives there!