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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

How important is the 12 week scan?

105 replies

SarahS89 · 21/04/2020 21:51

Hi, I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant. It’s my first pregnancy so everything is completely new. I got my BFP just 6 days before lockdown was announced and although I’ve been able to talk to a midwife on the phone it’s just not the same. The community midwife based at my GP sounded really friendly but the midwife where I have my scan booked sounded quite formal, not horrible or anything, just too formal for me. I never feel at ease if I find someone formal and being just on the phone didn’t help.

I have my 12-week scan booked in for 15th May. I’ve been told I have to go on my own. I really, really, really don’t want to go on my own. I understand why but I just can’t bare the thought of it.

Like I said, this is my first pregnancy and I really don’t want to do the first scan without my husband there. It’s a massive deal to me, seeing our baby for the first time isn’t something we can have a second chance at.

I do understand why but it feels so unfair, especially as we’ve both been able to stay at home for the last month. I don’t feel like having both of us from the same household that hasn’t been anywhere is going to add any risk.

Anyway, what I wanted to ask to those of you who have been through pregnancy before is ... **how important is the 12 week scan? I don’t want to do it by myself if I don’t have to.

If I didn’t go would it make a difference? As far as I’m aware of the baby is healthy then it’s healthy and if it’s not then it’s not and there’s nothing a scan can do to change that.

I’m looking into getting a private scan to see if there’s somewhere I can go where my husband can go to. If I can just have a scan with him there then I’ll feel better but if not then I’d rather just wait, providing delaying having a scan means I’m not putting myself or the baby at risk. I have no medical history or anything like that that puts me at obvious risk so if I can avoid the distress of a solo scan then I’d like to hold out for the coronavirus pandemic to simmer down, even if it means waiting until the 20 week scan.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Maggie272 · 21/04/2020 22:41

I felt the same about my 20 week scan but it is so worth it to go for your sake and for the sake of the baby

Mlou32 · 21/04/2020 22:53

The tests for chromosomal abnormalities; do they do these automatically or do you have to ask for them? Or do they only do them if they think there is an issue? And are they done by way of blood tests?

indemMUND · 21/04/2020 22:56

Just for a little perspective, my Dsis is heavily pregnant and has to undergo a mandatory c section and hysterectomy due to serious complications within the next 3 weeks. Her partner is allowed to be there for the actual birth but then has to leave immediately and she will be on her own with the baby until they are discharged and he can then take them home. There are people far worse off. Just go to the scan.

RainMinusBow · 21/04/2020 23:02

I had a missed mc diagnosed at a 12-week scan after a totally normal 8-week scan. Although quite rare, especially after a hb, it does happen. The baby had sadly passed some time before so I needed a d&c quite urgently to avoid infection.
Good news is since then I went on to have two gorgeous boys (now almost 10 and 12.5) and I'm 34 weeks' pregnant with a little girl
I would say the 12 week scan is important although I totally understand how hard it must be for you to have to have it without hubby there. Thinking of you x

triedandtestedteacher · 21/04/2020 23:08

I'm in the same boat. I will have to go alone and last time I went I'd had a mmc so tbh I'm dreading it. You need to know if there's any problems. To be quite honest if you're going to become a mother there's quite a lot of uncomfortable jobs ahead of you and most of them men aren't much help with so you might as well start now. You could always see if anywhere local and private will let you take your husband with you if you really want to share the experience with him

Southwesterly · 21/04/2020 23:08

Of course you need to attend. It’s a crucial medical check, not an opportunity for you to see your baby.

triedandtestedteacher · 21/04/2020 23:09

@RainMinusBow same thing happened to me after seeing the heartbeat

orlarose · 21/04/2020 23:19

Both the scans are very important, they wouldn't still be offering them if they weren't. I know it's tough but this is the start of putting babys needs first.

Meadows20 · 22/04/2020 01:34

Pretty certain at my 12 week scan I was also sent for blood tests at the same time to check for a number of things. Also the scan is checking everything is ok with you as well, such as placenta position, ovaries are for any cysts/fibroids and that the umbilical cord is working as it should.

QueenOfPain · 22/04/2020 01:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Whattheother2catsprefer · 22/04/2020 01:51

Go and have the scan. If seeing the baby at the same time as your DH is that important to you ask them to turn the screen away so you can't see. It's really important that you have the scan. Your booking in call would have been with a midwife, the scan will be done by a sonographer so the midwives telephone manner really shouldn't affect your decision to attend your scan.

Luckyme30 · 22/04/2020 06:04

Just go! Can’t believe you’re contemplating not going to a medical appointment because you’re husband is not going to be able to go?!

We’ve all had to do it alone for the past month or so, it’s really not that bad. I had mine Friday, I would rather my partner or anyone else’s partner was not in hospital unnecessarily right now - just because you and your husband have not been anywhere does not mean that every other partner in the hospital will follow the same rules - therefore risking not only staffs health but all those other women waiting for scans.

Like others have said later on down the line I’m sure your husband will be able to attend.

tallulahhulah1 · 22/04/2020 06:14

This is crazy that you are contemplating not going to a scan because your husband can't go. This is one of the most important scans regardless if you have no prior medical history. Yes it's rubbish, I went to my 20 weeks scan on my own yesterday but at the end of the day you have to make sure everything is ok. You can't delay something that has a very small window if there are issues found.

atvh · 22/04/2020 06:19

Private scans are patient only so you'd have to go alone regardless.

I had a private scan a couple of days ago and my husband was allowed in.

RoseGoldEagle · 22/04/2020 06:22

I get it, I had mine alone a few weeks ago (everyone was SO lovely, they know women don’t want to be doing this alone). But honestly I think you need to put your baby’s wellbeing above your desire for you both to see your baby for the first time together.

peachypetite · 22/04/2020 06:23

Come on OP don’t be silly. These are medical scans, not optional check ups. Time to put the baby first. It’s shit yes but you need to prioritise the health of your baby.

Amichelle84 · 22/04/2020 06:33

Very bloody important.

They are lovely people and will look after you.

welshpolarbear · 22/04/2020 06:43

All the reasons everyone has said above op. But only you going isnt just about your health. Its to protect the workers. If half the number of people are attending appointments (ie.one person per scan) it is putting them at much less risk.

They want minimal people going to hospitals to prevent people bringing it in. Its not always symptomatic so you can never be sure.

Its rubbish but just do it for your baby's health op.

mummyh2016 · 22/04/2020 06:46

Of course you have to go.
If you choose not to go what happens in another 8 weeks if partners are still not allowed to attend? Would you miss your 20 week scan as well?

GlamGiraffe · 22/04/2020 06:54

It's really important. It tells you if your baby is ok and growing properly but also screens for chromosomal disorders.
If some people know their child wont survive birth they might choose not to continue a pregnancy and the trauma(although very rare for this to be the case). if any other problems are detected your baby may need extra monitoring and support. They will look after you, they are experienced at this. You need to go. You'll be fine.

MindyStClaire · 22/04/2020 07:14

It's important. Although, if you're in NI you won't get the chromosomal tests posters are talking about in the rest of the UK.

Think of it as a medical appointment, rather than seeing the baby. You wouldn't bring your husband to the dentist, or for routine blood tests at the GP. You can absolutely do this alone, although I completely understand that you'd rather he was there with you. The most important thing though is to check that both you and the baby are healthy, and get on top of any issues that might be discovered. I'm sure your husband would rather you were both checked out.

SnuggyBuggy · 22/04/2020 07:23

To be blunt if there is an issue would you want to find out sooner rather than later when you have less options? I mean if you personally would continue the pregnancy no matter what then that's different.

CoolNoMore · 22/04/2020 07:28

I would prepare yourself for a bit more 'professionalism' generally. The midwife who delivered my baby was excellent but certainly not friendly. She was calm and reassuring, but not warm at all. I was a bit put off at the time, but it really didn't make the tiniest difference to my son's health and that's the only thing that mattered, ultimately. Midwives do their best to be everything to everyone, but they're not psychic, shapeshifting superheroes (although they can come pretty darn close sometimes). The scan is a gift from modern medicine, accept it!

PurBal · 22/04/2020 07:39

I have a few friends who decided against ultra sounds but they were still checked over, measured to check the baby was growing and the heartbeat was listened too.

I completely empathise as I suffer from anxiety and I too would err against going. But I'm not sure you'll feel better not going. I think you may just end up with more anxiety. At least at the scan you'll KNOW everything is okay (or not.)

Colouringinbook · 22/04/2020 07:43

I think to describe yourself as in "distress" about having to go for a solo scan is worrying. It's a medical appointment for you and your baby, not a nice fluffy moment for you and your husband to treasure. It's a shit time for everyone, but they wouldn't be asking us to go in if it wasn't important. You should have been given information about the tests and what they were for, read them.

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