Anyone elses pregnancy being ruined?

[reginaphalange101]

Just found out that my partner is banned from our 20 week scan because of the bloody virus i feel so lucky to be carrying our little bundle and am so grateful to be healthy, but on a selfish note - this is not how I pictured it at all

The year started out amazing, we found our dream house and had our little baby on route. Now the house sale is likely to fall through and I can't even enjoy the precious moments of pregnancy with OH and have to do it alone. You don't get these moments back and it's all just shit. I try to focus on positives but keep getting knocked back down, as if pregnancy isn't hard enough with the hormones there's just so much added stress. I should be enjoying scans with my partner, picking out baby clothes and decorating her nursery. Instead I'm stuck inside completely alone and have to experience magical lifelong memories by myself.

Anyone else feeling overwhelmed by this?

I completely agree. It makes me so sad. This is my first pregnancy.

Just the other day I had to attend hospital was a suspected miscarriage (thank goodness everything is okay) but even for that I was made to be alone.

I’ve always wanted a home birth and really worried I won’t be allowed one. I’m due end of September so fingers crossed I will.

Makes me so angry when I see people to obeying the rules.

Yep. 38 weeks and just feel constantly anxious rather than excited. Horrible, weird time to be doing such a magical thing.

Yes, everyone one is overwhelmed. Normally, you would be special, but now, we are all demented. I wish you well, but remember, we are all being short changed, not just you. We are all grieving for our lives.

I can't imagine doing all the pregnancy appointments and potentially giving birth alone. I feel sorry for everyone expecting at the moment.

I was meant to have a 30 week scan next week but it’s been postponed for a couple of weeks. I know it’s not the end of the world but I feel very much like I’m not getting the care / experience I would have had were this not happening. But what can you do ???

It is frustrating and upsetting and not how any of us pictured our pregnancies!

I had my 20 week scan yesterday and went alone but the sonographer was so lovely, she really put me at ease and the waiting room was full of other women all in the exact situation. I know it's sh** but try not to stress too much about the scan, honestly.

I'm in a LDR with baby's dad (different countries) and the plan was to see each other every few weeks until the birth, him come here for the birth itself then me and the baby move to be with him after baby is born....now the flights have all been grounded until god only knows when and we're literally trapped in different countries. I have no idea when I will see him again or even if it'll all be sorted by the time I give birth. He's moved into our new apartment without me and all the nesting and getting it ready for baby I had imagined is out the window.
It's heart breaking and stressful and not at all how I pictured this pregnancy (the first for both of us) but if I think too much about it, I'd probably have a breakdown so I'm trying my best to stay positive.

I'm feeling the same! I'm 23 weeks so luckily I had my scans before all of this kicked off and my OH was with me. But going forward he can't attend anything else with me and I'm scared about the limitations in place for the birth as well. The thought of me giving birth then my OH having to leave almost straight away really upsets me but I know it's for the best. Just makes me really sad. My friend is only 5 weeks pregnant so it's likely that her OH won't be able to attend either of her scans if this continues and my heart absolutely breaks for her. I'm just trying to stay positive at the moment but it's hard isn't it

I woke up this morning feeling really angry about it all. It’s pointless to feel that way I know, but I just can’t help it. I feel angry that what should be a magical time has been turned into this stressful nightmare. I’m constantly panicking about catching it and having to give birth in a mask surrounded by people in hazmat suits.

I’m constantly worrying about where to buy basic stuff for the baby due to shortages everywhere and am also stressing about getting enough food in for me and DH. We have to go out to buy stuff and risk our health as it’s now impossible to order online.

It makes me so sad that DH will have to leave me and our baby after the birth - assuming he’s allowed at the birth at all by the time I’m due.

I’m devastated that even after the baby is born, supposedly the happiest time of your life, none of my friends and family will be able to meet them, potentially for months.

I’ve had enough

It is really rubbish and I totally get it. We are due in 3 weeks. But it's important not to frame it as a ruined pregnancy. One thing that's helped me is keeping a sort of pregnancy diary/ log of all this stuff that's going on and I can show it to the baby when she's older. It will be a bit like a time capsule of this crazy time. I know it's not the same and far from ideal but what else can we do. Even setting up a little insta account might help.

I live overseas and my parents were due to come out and visit when the baby is born. Their flights have been cancelled. We had planned to visit UK in August and September and I don't see that going ahead so we're now looking at Christmas before any family will meet our baby. I'm just going to have to get creative about keeping in touch and finding ways to get through it.

I hope this post helps some of you. It's totally ok to be sad, of course it is. I've cried too. But don't let it consume you.

I feel exactly the same. This is my first pregnancy and my first two were born very premature. DD1 spent 9 weeks in hospital and I feel like I missed out on so much from that experience and ended up with PND and PTSD. DD2 only spent 10 days in hospital, but the PND and PTSD resurfaced and I still missed out of the experience I always thought I would have - being on the post natal ward without my baby, having to go home without my baby, having to establish a milk supply artificially etc.

I thought - stupidly hoped - that this time it would be the experience that most people get to have. The joyous occasion we all hope for rather than traumatic and lonely. But now it seems like it's not going to be the same for an entirely different reason and this baby could still be born early anyway.

It's crap.

I’m having an early dating scan on Monday and because he’s WFH my other half was so excited to be able to come. Of course I got a text yesterday to say it is strictly patient only and he’s pretty disappointed.
The lack of support person at the 20 week scan is worrying. More than likely everything will be fine but in the rare cases when an abnormality is detected I hope there are things in place to bring in the support person to discuss them.

It's so scary isn't it? I'm almost 31 weeks pregnant, classed as high risk due to low papp a and am so scared about my upcoming growth scans being cancelled. We're not now getting the care that we would normally have but there's nothing anyone can do about it. 😔

I share your frustration, at 30 weeks I now look to spend third trimester in isolation. I was looking forward to seeing family and friends but now it doesn’t look likely my mum will ever feel her first grandchild kick. The birth of our first child is overshadowed by concern of how the hospital will be and if my husband will even be allowed to attend. These firsts are all in jeopardy because of this damn virus. It is important to give thanks to our health, if we all make it through this with our babies we are the lucky ones. We have an important job to do ladies! Chin up and look at the positives, we are in it together xx

Yes! I finally feel good and back to my old self at 20 weeks and now I can't enjoy my pregnancy. Had to go to my scan alone, but just keep reminding myself that once our baby is here, the scan will not matter. But the anxiety of the birth and being alone is building but really hoping things will improve in 20 weeks.

Yep. 34 weeks today and after a horrid over medicalised birth with my DD which left me with anxiety I was looking forwards to a calm home birth with my third and last child ... now everywhere I look I see home births cancelled, people talking about gas and air being banned, MLU being closed so having to give birth in a labour ward (just the thought of that makes me have a panic attack) no the possibility that DH might not even be there with me. Add that to feeling like I’m under house arrest and I’m on the verge of giving up. Say and cried for three hours yesterday, losing weight and can’t be there as I should for my other children. It sucks.

Feeling similar. Feel bad for feeling like this as there are certainly much worse things. But DD (3) was going to increase her preschool hours next month, and I was really looking forward to spending time sorting through baby bits. We were also about to start a house renovation to give us an extra bedroom before baby comes (only have 2 beds at the moment), but that now isn’t happening either.

DD will be with my mum when I have the baby (due end of August), but won’t have seen her since about 3 weeks ago, so I’m worried that it will really unsettled her too.

Yes! Nearly 19 weeks. Spent to first 12 weeks anxious waiting to find out everything was ok. I had my gender scan at 16 weeks found out I'm expecting a little boy grateful we managed to enjoy that moment for a few days until it all kicked off. Now I'm out of work, my family are out of work and my maternity pay is going to be affected so now I don't know how I'm going to manage when he's here. I feel awful for complaining but this is my first pregnancy and I've had a shit time. Finding it hard to stay positive when the world is so uncertain. I know there's others like yourselves in the same position and some people worse off. It's just so disappointing that we can't enjoy our pregnancy's with all this going on.

I was feeling alright until I saw that our hospital changed their policy yesterday, and I will now be alone at my 20 week scan and all other appointments, and I'll likely be doing early labour and immediately after birth alone too. If I have to go to theatre DH won't be allowed in. I'm worried that if this gets any worse my husband won't be allowed at the birth at all, and I don't think I can give birth alone.

This is my first pregnancy and I spent the first trimester terribly ill, now looks like I'll be spending the second/third in lockdown. I feel so, so sad like I'm mourning the pregnancy I wanted to have. I'll never get the chance to celebrate with friends and family or go baby shopping. At this rate no one other than my husband will ever see my bump!

I know 'everyone is in the same boat' but for people who aren't expecting a baby this is just a boring year, for us this is time we can't get back, and it's extremely stressful building up to the biggest medical procedure of many of our lives, not knowing what healthcare will be in place by the time we get there 😕

I'm the same but dp is more practical about it all but I'm totally down about it. My sil is due in a couple of weeks and told her dp cant stay very long after the birth and needs to go in the car.
It's starting to get me down more, he wasnt allowed at the 12 week scan and now fearing he wont be allowed at the 20 week either and I think it's bad as we live together so surely that means if one of us has it that means both of us!?

It's also bad because it helps with our partners bonding with the baby seeing the scans and of course that time after the birth, it just doesn't make sense to me

35 weeks here so luckily have had a pretty ‘normal’ experience for most of the pregnancy, and currently dh is allowed for birth and labour and to stay afterwards, MLU has no plans to shut etc. But I am dreading post birth if my mum can’t even come over for cuddles. I know most of mumsnet hate visitors after birth, but I love having my family over. It’s sad but you know what, if we keep healthy that’s more important.

Yes it's shit. The pregnancy, birth and newborn days I was imagining are gone. Might have to give birth alone (my personal nightmare). Be shut in with a newborn and no visitors, trying to homeschool one child, entertain my preschooler and be up all night with the baby. DP is in an essential role so I will be constantly worried about him bringing home the virus to our baby, and he won't be there to offer much support.
It might not be the most important thing in the world when people are dying, but we have the right to be sad about it.

I just came on to post a thread about this and it's reassuring to see so many people feeling the same. I'm only eight weeks pregnant but it's my first and I'm quite an anxious person anyway. I'm so worried about not having the opportunity to do some of the things I wanted to do to prepare, like NCT classes, and to make friends before the birth. I'm totally new to this so perhaps had a slightly rose-tinted view of what it would be like but I can't help feeling a bit sad and lonely, especially as I can't even tell people yet.

I'm 15+4 and it's a very weird prospect that my whole second trimester will be spent socially distancing. The idea that I won't be able to go shopping for a pram or baby bits and pieces for at least another 10 weeks. My 20 week scan is in just under 5 weeks and I'm sad that DH may not be able to attend. We're not sure we will have any more children after this baby so it's horrid that he might have to miss this. If I know he's not going to be able to attend, I will be getting a private anomaly scan so that he can. I get extreme anxiety before scans.

This is my first pregnancy and I'm also pretty sad that I'm not going to be able to spend it with family and friends. But I just keep reminding myself that the important thing is that we're healthy and the best thing I can do for our baby is to look after myself and try to stay calm. We can do this everyone!! We'll look back on this time in our lives and reflect on how crazy it all was but that we got through it. If nothing else it definitely makes you realise what's important in life. For all the pregnant woman out there, WE CAN DO THIS!!! 🙂 xxx