Anyone elses pregnancy being ruined?

[reginaphalange101]

Just found out that my partner is banned from our 20 week scan because of the bloody virus i feel so lucky to be carrying our little bundle and am so grateful to be healthy, but on a selfish note - this is not how I pictured it at all

The year started out amazing, we found our dream house and had our little baby on route. Now the house sale is likely to fall through and I can't even enjoy the precious moments of pregnancy with OH and have to do it alone. You don't get these moments back and it's all just shit. I try to focus on positives but keep getting knocked back down, as if pregnancy isn't hard enough with the hormones there's just so much added stress. I should be enjoying scans with my partner, picking out baby clothes and decorating her nursery. Instead I'm stuck inside completely alone and have to experience magical lifelong memories by myself.

Anyone else feeling overwhelmed by this?

I am feeling all of these feelings! So angry at the world at the minute.

We are supposed to be moving into a flat at the end of April and now both out of work so don't know how we will pay the bills (I've been furloughed/partner self employed), I don't know how I will buy things for the baby before she arrives in August and I'm so worried at how my SMP will be effected by all of this!! Our pregnancy was very unexpected, living with partners parents at the moment but we both worked very well paid jobs, planned to move out this year anyway so it was kind of the kick up the backside for us, now I just feel full of guilt 😣

Don’t bank on being able to get a private scan. I had a private scan booked in next week when I’m 16 weeks and it’s been cancelled.

Yes. Have my 12 week scan next week. Dreading it knowing DP cant be there.
Last time I was being scanned there at 20 weeks last November we were told we were going to lose our baby. Now I have to go back to the same place alone with terrible anxiety.
Also considered high risk this pregnancy so have no idea what will go on with the consultant appointments and extra scans I am due to have.
Cant even fathom the thought of having to be in labour without partner like some ladies are going to be.

I feel so sad for pregnant women and new mothers right now. It must be incredibly hard.

My friend had a baby a couple of months ago, and she was just starting to sign him up for baby classes and looking forward to meeting other mums. I feel so sad for her that her maternity leave is going to be nothing like she expected. This whole situation has turned our whole worlds upside down.

@Buzz22 sending lots of good thoughts your way x

It's such a horrible situation.

Perhaps you can film some of the scan to show your partner?

Try to focus on that it is keeping you and baby safer.

I’m hoping they ban partners staying over night tbh due to this I’ve had a bad experience every time in postnatal wards from men staying there
-my curtains being opened
-the chair from my cubicle taken
-the man next door with one pushing his chair so far back into the dividing curtain he was about 30 cm from me through a thin paper curtain
-being laughed at for having post c section wind
-having them watching tv loudly having loud conversations all hours
-noisily eating
-SNORING
-having a go at ME when my baby was screaming as his wife was trying to sleep
-declaring bf disgusting as I was getting help and going on about why would you when you can make a bottle in minutes feed the baby and it’s all ‘done efficiently and quicker than bf’
-men using the showers and toilets I had to queue behind acouple I thought he would be helping his wife and I was told ‘oh you’ll have to wait after me dh having a shower ‘ wtf
And the midwives seem powerless
So tbh I’m hoping this means I actually get a peaceful postnatal stay

I think it's really important that we don't see our beautiful pregnancies as ruined...I think that's a terrible word to use, I'm sorry, I don't normally make judgements like that on MN, and try to respect everyone's feelings. I'm not in the UK, but i am grateful that my govt is doing what they can to keep me, my baby and my very vulnerable husband safe. We are in total lockdown and can't leave our houses except for essential needs. It would be lovely to be out and about, but for me my pregnancy would be ruined if I contracted the virus and something detrimental happened to my baby. There are millions of women all over the world in much worse positions.

I feel the same I am attending my 12 week scan next week and doing this without my husband is daunting. I’m scared and worried something is wrong and I will be by myself. I’m trying my best to stay positive but everything is scary at the moment. I am fortunate to be able to WFH and I can’t wait to tell all my friends & family the news but at the same time I wish I could see them to see their true reactions. This is my first pregnancy and I didn’t know how I was going to feel but currently thinking I will have to attend all appointments alone, after birth be alone and then potentially my family won’t be able to meet the baby for a time after this is all very stressful. I am due in Oct so I just hope all this has changed before then. Good luck to all the mothers, you are amazing and we can do this! Trying to be positive!

Yep Apart from the obvious big things (no visitors, potentially husband not at birth) I find myself sad at little things I'd planned too. For example we dont know what were having and I was so excited for my husband to tell me at the birth if we have a son or daughter which wont happen if hes not there. Nice wee family day out to register baby and go for lunch . Spending mat leave with my friend who's just had a baby , going for tea and cake etc. All minor in the scheme of things but you're allowed to feel sad for plans which dont happen!

I feel exactly the same , 17 weeks , can no longer have my private scans so my anxiety is sky high , will likely be alone for my 20 week scan and possibly birth if it carries on. I also was the only person that got made redundant in my job, not due to the virus apparently 🙄 so won't get any help from the furlough scheme. But I'm trying to be as positive as I can but I'm struggling

@Maggie272 that's fair enough but some people are already at risk of of having something detrimental happen.
And then to go through it alone.
Yes I understand why the government and hospitals are making these changes. I get it. But I am also allowed to be increasingly worried I could lose another baby late in my pregnancy and have to deliver another dead child, this time without my partner there.
As for people going through worse things...well it's all relative. You cannot tell someone not to be upset about a parent dying because someone else has 2 dead parents. People are entitled to feelings. And yes, I feel like what I could try and enjoy of this pregnancy is ruined. Even if I also know it is for the best. Sorry for the rant. But I'm sure I'm not the only person feeling this way.

I'm 23 weeks pregnant, I had my last baby 20 years ago as a teen, so it wasn't a 'celebrated' time as such due to my age.

This time around I was looking forward to it being a special and welcomed time, there were so many things I wanted me and partner to do before baby arrived. Instead I'm feeling guilty and low knowing I had 20 years to have another baby and I've literally picked the worst possible time to be pregnant

Yes it is shit.

And if you get an adverse scan, which really is the shittiest scenario - then it will be gruelling, but you might find they let in a supporter for subsequent appointments.

@Buzz22 I get it - everyone is entitled to their feelings, and I didn't mean for my comment to take that away...I had two losses last year, and for me those were ruined pregnancies. It's just the language in the post title for me was a bit irritating, in light of what I personally had been through, but I understand everyone's experience is different. In IVF I had a lot of trouble with things that other women sailed through, so I do get it. The word 'ruined' for me was just a bit much esp if the OPs pregnancy is otherwise healthy.

It’s totally shit and I feel very sad and angry. I’m not due till November but praying it’s better by then. Really worried about doing scans on my own.

Same here. Was planning another home birth, which is now impossible. Even a normal home waterbirth with my first triggered PTSD from being raped. I don't think I can face birth on a labour ward.

I even asked about aborting my longed-for little boy, I'm so desperate (too late). Worse PTSD is likely to leave me unable to care for either child. I keep fantasising about suicide, but even that isn't an escape route open to me, with my daughter to care for.

I know other people have it worse. Thank you for a space to vent.

I'm completely stressed out about the whole birth thing right now- 34 weeks tomorrow so although it's a few weeks away (and could all change again), it really isn't that long in the grand scheme of things...

It sounds like different hospitals have different policies in place atm- so wouldn't be surprised if they all have a 'blanket policy' in place soon.

Mine told me a couple of weeks ago that scans and antenatal clinic appointments are alone, but you can do FaceTime if you want to.

Labour is with one birth partner, and as long as you're well enough to be discharged (ASAP that day) they are encouraging that... birth partner can't leave and come back though.

If you have to be admitted to the main ward that will be alone- and no visitors.

If you have a planned c section your birth partner can be there for the procedure, and have cuddles with baby in the theatre room- but then has to leave when you are moved to the ward. Again, no visitors.

Don't know about Emergancy CS- imagine this may be alone as birth partner would have to move within the hospital.

I'm looking at choosing between VBAC and CS at the minute, and this is playing hugely on my mind.

Hope this helps someone xx

I should say the birth info is only a couple of days old...

Third trimester here, 31 weeks, first baby. It's scary that DH may not be able to be there and that I may be stuck alone in a postnatal ward in a Covid-19 riddled hospital with a tiny vulnerable baby. My most recent midwife appointments have been cancelled and I'm worried that my next scan (scheduled due to higher risk for pre-eclampsia) will be as well.

We've resorted to buying the necessities for the baby online as we don't know when we'll be able to go to a store and actually try things like pushchairs. It's definitely not the experience we expected, and I feel so selfish for feeling this way.

I’m not pregnant but I empathise with pregnant women during this period.

My cousin is pregnant and having her first child; she is due in 9 weeks and has just been told her husband or mother won’t be able to be in the room for delivery to support her (due to corona). Her family won’t be able to see her or visit the baby after birth - whilst still in hospital. Her husband is able to see the baby immediately after the birth however if he has to leave the ward at any point (to go toilet/ get fresh air/ get change of clothes at home) he will not be able to re enter and he will have to wait until his wife and baby have been discharged before seeing them again.
She has enquires about a home birth and the hospital have said absolutely not as they don’t have enough staff to allow this (obviously all the medics are on hand for corona at the moment) and if anything sis go wrong there would be no guarantee someone would be able to get to her. So she has to be in hospital alone.

I mean that’s something

Just think, once we get passed all of this we'll be so resilient we can get through anything.

Don't panic. It's too soon to really tell what might happen for a lot of you. It will be ok.

It is shit for pregnant women. Yes, in the great scheme of things it doesn't matter - but it's really shit nonetheless.