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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Did anyone find out the sex at the 20 week scan..

119 replies

hotpotmama · 11/09/2007 10:19

and regret it afterwards ie. wished you'd had the suprise when your baby was born?

Very early days for me still but am undecided, didn't find out with my first two, but think I would like to this time.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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bluebell82 · 13/09/2007 11:54

I found out we are having a little girl on Monday.. we decided to find out because I was finding pregnancy to bevery overwhelming and my dh agreed that it would help us bond. Only thing I regret is telling my mil and mom who have proceeded to tell everyone from their next door neighbours to the cashiers at Sainsburys!

nappyaddict · 13/09/2007 12:30

HIJACK

Wordsmith · 13/09/2007 13:34

Hi Nappyaddict, thanks for the invite - I do live in Stourbridge but I prefer to stay anonymous! Then I can say what I like on here without being found out. Have a good meetup though.

nappyaddict · 13/09/2007 13:58

ah fair enough!!

Rytzy · 13/09/2007 14:04

I loved finding out i was having a girl.

All my life I wanted to have a girl, but as i got pregnant i thought that I didn#t want to be dissapointed if I had a boy so I convinced myself I was going to have a wee boy. Well, after weeks thinking I was having a boy I was told I was having a girl!!!!

I enjoyed my pregnancy even more!!! I willdefo find out with my next one also.

teenyweeny · 13/09/2007 14:45

We have our scan today and we ARE going to find out BUT we have decided not to tell anyone that we have found out, it will be our little secret. I cant wait!

dolly1972 · 13/09/2007 14:47

hi girls,
with my first i found out i was having a boy and from that moment on it wasnt just my baby anymore it was my baby boy, that made me bond more and i went out and got loads of blue bits!

my second i found out again but i didnt tell anyone else and that was fun in itself as i had loads of comments saying 'yes you are having a girl...i can tell by the way you are carrying'......i had another boy!

when pg with my twins i decided not to find out and have the 'surprise' i was convinced the twin 1 was a boy and twin 2 was a girl...i even bought a few pink bits....i had 2 boys in the end!!

no 'proper' advice to give you...sorry about that but i just thought id let you know what i did!

dolly x

dkay · 13/09/2007 16:02

Hi Girls,

Does anyone know if it is easy to see the gender when the sonographer is measuring the femur. I was looking but couldn't see anything. I think it's a girl now.....am I wrong?

mixedmama · 13/09/2007 16:09

I couldnt see anything to be honest but then sonographer pointed out scrotum and penis and it was unmistakeable, but if she hadnt pointed them out I never would have noticed.

MaeBee · 13/09/2007 16:19

we found out but didn't tell anyone else cos we didn't want gendered presents for him. we found out mostly to reduce our ridiculously long name list. i was convinced it was a girl and actually wept when i found out it was a boy! (my mum had trouble bonding with her son...she never actually did...and i was scared of a repeat thing)but i adore him now!
not telling anyone was a good move though. i didn't mind my friends really but i didn't trust family not to buy him only blue stuff or pink if he was a girl.

dkay · 13/09/2007 16:27

Thanks Mixedmama, I think the sonographer would have to focus in on the genitals to get a good look at them, at 20 wks I'ld imagine they aren't fully developed and just looking at the femur wouldn't be enough...I hope! Not bothered what I have but still just wana wait until the day so hopefully still there is a 50/50 chance of each!

J33 · 13/09/2007 17:37

Having got 2 DS and convinced due to miscarriages that I couldn't have girls had an amnio due to complications with DS2 and was amazed to be told that I am having DD - I am so pleased I found out - i was in shock for a week after finding out and now when she arrives (which is imminent) she wont have to be in blue !!!!

paddyclamp · 13/09/2007 19:14

With DS I found out because we both really wanted a boy, esp DH. DH was working the day i had 20 wk scan and so i found out he was a boy and didn't tell anyone, not even DH!!!! If he'd been a she i might have done so he could get used to the idea. At the birth DH was the one who "discovered" we had a boy and i wouldn't have spoiled that suprize for him for the world.

With DD we found out. We really didn't mind what we had, curiousity got the better of us! But we didn't tell anyone else!!!

mumofk · 13/09/2007 19:17

Hi, as someone who does the job, sometimes we have to really 'look' and sometimes its REALLY obvious- though hardly ever when parents want to know! The one I struggle with is when one parent wants to know, and the other doesn't. Isn't that a huge secret to keep from your partner for 20 weeks? Where I work we have policies about telling sex- we can say what we think, not put it in writing, and what mum says goes (so if mum wants to know and partner doesn't we can say, but not the other way around- mum has to be told too). I can't justify all that we do but that's only how things are at one trust, and other hospitals/clinics will have different rules. We also don't keep looking- its the 20 weeks scan only. The other scans area much quicker and often we can't confirm or deny what's been said earlier. And of course, there's always someone who's been told the same sex all the way through then finds out what it really is when its born! That must be sooo upsetting (the lady I heard of didn't mind what she had, but had spent so long thinking of it as one sex it was v. upsetting). Personally I didn't find out last time, and probably won't this time, but I think its up to you ( if we can see, otherwise its up to baby!! ).

slph · 13/09/2007 20:27

On our 1st child we were given the option, which we took, and I do beleive it helped me bond easier/ealier with my son, my 2nd child I wasn't given an option we had to find out due to medical reasons, and It altered things as It wasn't our choice, However on my last pregnancy I was extremmelly lucky to not have to find out and we didn't, And what a lovely surprise it was when she was born, It made such a difference to the whole birth. I personally wouldn't choose to know again, And from friends and family they have all agreed it was so much nicer to phone up and say ITS A GIRL/BOY rather than just how heavy are they! Sorry I've rambled!! .... good luck all of you who are pregnant at the moment, baby wishes your way, And be extremmelly grateful for whatever baby is heaven sent your way!! .............

dina75 · 13/09/2007 20:49

We asked about the sex of our child,and were delighted we did. I hated referring to my baby as "Bump" or "it". As soon as we found out he was a boy, my husband and I named him and talked to him and I felt we really got to know him, even before he was born!

My "psychic" mum-in-law didn't help matters as she claims that she was told by 'the spirits' that we were having a girl! We found out we were having a boy, but she still didn't believe us and knitted everything pink. When our son was born in June 2006, she fell instantly in love with him and has been the world's most wonderful granny. But she still claims that it was "the spirits" who were wrong, and not her!

chocbiscuits · 13/09/2007 21:28

We believed bump was a girl, until 24 week scan then were told it was a boy. We were both a bit disappointed and then were glad we'd found out when we did as would have hated the disappointment after the birth. Both got over that quickly and were just looking forward to meeting Ds who is now the apple of our eyes of course!

wotamidoin · 13/09/2007 22:28

found out with no 2,3 and 4. never regretted it for a minute, it just added to the excitement and anticipation of the final event!

n1cky1980 · 13/09/2007 23:17

I found out the sex at 20 weeks- have absolutely no regrets and we even named him by 24 wks! Felt like we knew him already by the time he was born. (Also had a 3D scan- fantastic experience) I loved every moment of my pregnancy and for me-going through the birthing process was enough of a surprise!! (3 dy labour ending in c-section yuk)

AnnainNZ · 13/09/2007 23:33

Having a girl, due in 7 wks, found out at 20 wk scan and no regrets at all. Would have been delighted with either but too impatienbt to wait 40 wks when only had to wait 20!

tyaca · 13/09/2007 23:37

16 wks and assumed i'd hold out but not a chance! can't wait to start buying clothes ;-) convinced its a girl and secretly hoping for which is strange cause for years before got pg thought i'd want boys!

lolly1980 · 14/09/2007 06:36

I found out with both of mine. It meant that from my scan onwards they had their names and could be referred to as he/she instead of it. Plus I really don't regret it.

groovergirl · 14/09/2007 09:02

I agree --- it's so much nicer to call one's precious progeny-in-waiting he or she, rather than "it". He or she is a person, after all! My 20-week scan confirmed I was carrying a girl, and now I feel so proud when I refer to "my daughter", even tho she's not due until New Year's Eve. It's so exciting; I can't wait to meet her and have already bought some pretty little things for her.

mixedmama · 14/09/2007 09:25

Ohhh I am due NYE aswell.

dkay · 14/09/2007 09:27

Me too!!!

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