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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Did anyone find out the sex at the 20 week scan..

119 replies

hotpotmama · 11/09/2007 10:19

and regret it afterwards ie. wished you'd had the suprise when your baby was born?

Very early days for me still but am undecided, didn't find out with my first two, but think I would like to this time.

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TwitmonstEr · 11/09/2007 11:23

yes, yes, yes and yes.

deaconblue · 11/09/2007 11:39

We found out with ds at a 4D babybond scan at 25 weeks and it was fabulous. I was able to talk to him by name for the rest of the pregnancy and felt really prepared for having a son as had initially felt nervous about the prospect of having a boy. I think hte whole birth process is so amazing/traumatic anyway finding out your baby's sex can't possibly make it any more or less life changing

McDreamy · 11/09/2007 11:49

Wasn't allowed to find out with my first and probably wouldn't have anyway. Did find out with my second for practical reasons as I was about to move to Cyprus and wanted to know whether or not to send the pink stuff! Didn't need to so was glad I found out. Didn't tell anyone though.

mumzyof2 · 11/09/2007 15:12

Has anyone had a scan at 12 weeks and found out the sex? I didnt think they could, but apparently, if you pay for a private scan, they can tell at 12 weeks. I thought they couldnt tell until 20 weeks, so has anybody had a scan at 12 weeks and found out the sex?

tasja · 11/09/2007 15:50

Yes, I found out the sex of my DD at the 20week scan. I wanted to know because our parents in SA wanted to send some stuff over for baby before the birth.

lailasmum · 11/09/2007 16:00

didn't find out the sex first time round as wasn't that bothered either way and didn't think to ask, now have 20 week scan in a couple of weeks and am in two minds as to whether to ask. is it something that normally gets offered or do you have to ask specifically.

ladymac · 11/09/2007 16:17

Didn't find out with first 3 and wasn't going to with 4th, however we caved in at 20 wk scan when consultant asked if we wanted to know the sex.

We decided not to share our news with anyone else. We also decided not to be too definite about names as we wanted to see what colour hair etc she would have and what name would suit her.

It was great fun keeping the secret, it seemed to somehow make it special for us as a couple - especially when everyone kept pointing to my bump saying 'ooh, you're definitely carrying a boy'!

MrsFogi · 11/09/2007 16:19

We didn't find out for dd1 but we have found out this time (another dd) - I wish we hadn't it was much more fun not knowing. There are so few nice surprises in life and the surprise at the birth is a good one whatever sex the baby is.

MrsMar · 11/09/2007 16:22

I found out at my 20 week scan, no regrets at all. Have found it much nicer to refer to my baby as he rather than it. Also it's the first boy in my family for 30 years so the excitement about his arrival has been fantastic, I've been basking in the glory of producing the first boy for the past 20 weeks !!

emj23 · 11/09/2007 18:52

We saw the sex of this baby at the 20 week scan, but then had another scan three weeks later to see if we had got it right. The woman doing the scan told us it was a girl too, and said she was 99.7% sure, or something like that. However, reading this makes me very edgy in case we all got it wrong. I'm 37+2 and have been referring to the baby as 'her' for ages now, and if it's actually a boy I don't know how I would feel.

Original poster

hotpotmama · 11/09/2007 20:31

That would really freak me out too if I was told it was one sex then found out at birth it was another. Thinking now it may be best not to find out.

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KerryMum · 11/09/2007 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fruitful · 11/09/2007 21:13

We didn't find out with dd; was convinced it was a boy and found it a bit disorientating when a girl came out. As if the baby I'd been pg with had disappeared and I'd somehow been given this (gorgeous, much-loved!) girl instead. Didn't help that it was an unexpected 'elective' cs though.

Found out with ds. It really helped during the hours before he was born to feel like I knew who I was talking to! He was whisked off to NICU and I really didn't need any surprises.

My scan for no 3 is on Friday and we are going to ask. I am getting a bit miffed by the way friends/family are all desperate to know. I keep pointing out that I'm quite worried about whether the pg is ok and if I'm going to make it full-term or not, and that finding out the gender is a side-issue. But the message is not getting through.

We may tell people that we know now but we're still not going to tell anyone else .

shouldalistenedtomymum · 12/09/2007 03:00

we found out at 20 wk scan & never regretted it for a second. dh couldn't wait. i kept referring to the scan as th "winkie hunt" as he was so desperate for a boy. i had 3 scans done throughout pregnancy & all 3 times was told we were having a boy - which we did.
we still picked out girls' names & bought some gender neutral clothing stc just in case.

i was very glad to know gender of ds & we spoke to him & called him by namee long before he was born. felt as though we knew him before he arrived & just couldn't wait to meet him. i think it added to the excitement rather than detracted from it as we were imagining what he would look like, who he would take after etc.

londonthea · 12/09/2007 07:21

We found out the sex of our baby at the 20 week scan - I couldn't imagine not doing so. Knowing I'm having a boy has made life so much easier. It has also helped us prepare our twins for his arrival - my step-daughter was desperate for a sister, but has had plenty of time to get used to the idea of having a brother now, so she won't be disappointed when he arrives.
Bear in mind that sexing the baby isn't always accurate though. My husband and his first wife were told they were have 2 boys with the twins at first, but later discovered (pre-birth) it was a boy and girl. The mistake occured when the sonographer mistook a bit of umbilical cord for a willie!

capecodder · 12/09/2007 08:50

We found out the gender and have no regrets. I feel that it has helped us bond with the baby- she has a name and personality - instead of being just a bump. It has made it more personal experience for me.

kerala · 12/09/2007 09:01

A personal decision. We chose to find out which was right for us and made it more real for DH somehow.

What annoyed and surprised me was the negative reactions to us finding out. Round here it is fashionable not to find out. Some people seemed to adopt a holier than thou attitude about not knowing the sex which I found pretty odd. People were congratulating each other on deciding not to find out the sex.

In fact our midwife's comment on hearing we had asked to be told the sex was "I didnt think you were that kind of person". eh?

treacletart · 12/09/2007 09:03

Ds was a surprise, but felt we wanted to know second time around to get prepared with handmedowns etc and I though to maybe make it a bit easier for DS (4). We asked them not to tell us at the hospital but to write it on a little folded card put in an envelope. DH and I took the envelope to a fancy restaurant for lunch and opened it with a glass of champagne. I recommend it as a really lovely way to find out - knowing we were having a dd in advance helped mr get sorted with clothes too - I have an irrational dislike of sugary pink stuff.

mumfor1standfinaltime · 12/09/2007 09:04

We didn't find out. I don't really know why, just decided not to.
We had all the comments from family and friends 'it will be a girl', and the midwife said 'the heart beat is a girl's' etc
Dh had lost his Mum about a year before I got pg so I guess we thought it would be a girl and we would name her after dh's Mum.

We had a boy!
If I did get pg again I think I would be tempted to find out the sex.

kerala · 12/09/2007 09:12

One friend didnt find out then spent the rest of her pregnancy doing all sorts of jiggery pokerery tests - dangling bits over the bump to see if it was a boy or girl, walking anti clockwise round the room with a silver spoon etc. Each to their own I guess but made me chuckle - would have been easier to have just asked the scanner surely! But maybe less fun.

pagwatch · 12/09/2007 09:16

Didn't with first 2 DC but at 20 scan our eldest DS ( aged 10) was invited in to look at his new sib once all 'testing' was over and he asked.
I was really hoping for another DS but we were expecting a DD.
Instantly had to wander around looking at baby stuff and trying to get my head around it. So pleased now. And pleased I had the info as it took me a while to adjust and i would have hated to be doing that once she was actually here.

speak2deb · 12/09/2007 09:17

I found out with my dd and the 20 weeks scan. DP didn't want to know until the birth and I promised not to tell anyone else before he found out.

Miraculously, I managed to keep my promise and so had this wonderful secret all to myself for the rest of the pregnancy.

Seeing her for the fist time was so amazing anyway and knowing she was going to be a girl didn;t take any of that feeling away.

I'll definately be finding out with number 2 as well.

pinkspottywellies · 12/09/2007 09:24

I found out and didn't regret it. I thought it would be a boy and it was quite a surprise to find out it was a girl! It took me a couple of days to get my head round it after the scan so I think if I'd gone another 4 months thinking it was a boy it would have been quite a shock at the birth.

mumbleboo · 12/09/2007 11:54

With DS we asked and said only tell us if you're sure, and they said "we're 80% sure it's a boy" which wasn't very helpful as had to spend the rest of the pregnancy saying "it might be a boy they weren't 100%". Obviously MIL went mad buying blue, saying i knew it would be a boy etc!It was very frustrating for me and by the last few months i was telling people i didn't know the sex. This time i will be waiting i think, just because they can't be absolutely sure at the NHS 20 week scan, they're more checking for any problems. And after the birth i didn't care if it was a girl or a boy anyway, i was after my cup of tea!

MerlinsBeard · 12/09/2007 11:57

didn;t with ds1 as he had his legs crossed - wanted toknow but was glad of the surprise.

with ds2 i needed to know as i had my heart set on a girl...didn'tneed the sonogroaher to tell us as he waving his boy bits at the screen! We were disappointed at the time of the scan but by the time we got home we were really happy and made thngs a lot easier as we already had ds1's thngs still!!

Will ask this time -need a clear out either way but need to know how much blue to clear out!

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