Did anyone find out the sex at the 20 week scan..

[hotpotmama]

and regret it afterwards ie. wished you'd had the suprise when your baby was born?

Very early days for me still but am undecided, didn't find out with my first two, but think I would like to this time.

I found out - and I'm really glad I did. I was utterly convinced I was hving a girl, I'd picked her name everything - and I was told I would be having a son ! I was soooo shocked. However, my partner didn't want to know - so I had to keep it to myself for a long time ! In order to make it easier, I told all our friends and family that we didn't know the sex in advance (made it easier for me, since people didn't ask me !) Then, when I was about 34 weeks, my other half decided he really wanted to know. It was like having the delight twice ! Once when I was told, and once again telling him !
Also, on a really practical note, this was my first, and alot of white items (e.g. baby bouncers) were alot more expensive than the blue or pink versions ! I still bought fairly neutral items - but on some things, knowing was really handy.

we were told that dd2 was a boy at our 12 week scan, everyone very thrilled, name chosen, blue paint bought etc, my mum even knitted blue things, then at 20 week scan very obviously a girl...i was very upset , as had been having a difficult pregnancy and really thought that "it was ll for nothing" as we already had a daughter and i nknew my dh and my father desarapetly wanted it to be a boy. It took weeks to get over but now i look at dd2 and couldn't imagine in a million years why on earth i wanted her to be a boy , if i had waited i am sure i owuld not have been disappointed when she was born.

Didn't mind first time round, but wanted the surprise at the birth. Delighted either way, had girl. Second time round, really wanted another girl (cos the first one was so nice!), and might have been a bit disappointed if I had known in advance it was a boy. Though I knew I wouldn't have minded at all if I had a boy once he arrived, so better not to know but again have the fun of the anticipation. Got another girl anyway!

Mumzyof2 - yes we found out at the 12 week scan (at the Fetal Medicine Centre) that we were having a girl. Everyone's different but I couldn't resist finding out, and it didn't take away from the surprise of meeting her at the birth at all!

Didn't find out with DS1 and although we had a feeling he was a boy the surprise was lovely.
Found out with DS2 (although I already suspected he was a boy) - it was quite obvious on the scan! It was lovely to know and be able to prepare ourselves and DS1 for his arrival! It didn't take any of the excitement away and I felt I already knew him when he was born - I bonded much quicker with him.
This time we asked but as baby's legs were crossed at the ankles the sonographer could not be 100% sure but she thought it looked most like a girl. In one way I wish we hadn't asked because we still don't really know but on the other hand I was so convinced this baby was another boy so at least I have some time to get used to the fact it might be a girl! I don't mind which sex baby is as long as s/he is healthy but I think I would have been a bit stunned at a girl popping out without any prior warning! Will find out in 15 weeks or so...

BTW, a sonographer I know said that it is sometimes possible to tell the sex at 12 weeks but is not always reliable and also that at 20 weeks it is still sometimes difficult and if the baby's 'bits' are not developed enough a boy can look like a girl. They all develop at different rates!

I found out the sex of my DD before her birth and ? while the reality of her as opposed to how I imagined her was still a surprise - I felt cheated out of the ?it?s a girl/boy? moment in the delivery suite. My case is unusual though in that I was told her sex against my explicit wishes ? the nurse let it slip when going through my amniocentesis results. I remember bursting out crying. The baby had taken years and years of treatment to conceive and both my husband - who had been an absolute gem throughout everything ? not only wanted a delivery room surprise, but we also sort of wanted to allow her to keep her own little secret for the whole nine months. As it was, I was sat in what amounted to little more than a cupboard having blood taken and my husband wasn?t even there! And the nurse didn?t even apologise! She just said, well you?ve only a few weeks to go and you would have found out then anyway. Erm, hello?!

Having found out, we kept her sex to ourselves and, to this day, no one who knows us is even aware that we knew her sex. We just didn?t want endless questions and speculation about names etc. and we sort of felt that not telling others kept things more intimate. Unfortunately, it?s highly unlikely we will ever be able to have another, but I think we would try and keep it an unknown until delivery day again.

With the first, I had extra scans, so near the end we decided to ask... my feeling was right, and to be honest it really helped, because we were struggling big time with boys names, so were able to focus a lot more knowing we were having a boy and he had to have a name! We told no one else though, just used the term 'baby' rather than he/she.

This time around I had no intention of finding out. My husband was overseas last minute for work, so went to the scan alone. I was in there a long time because baby was sooo active, and then half way through I though, hmm I think I know what it might be (and again have always had a feeling) so asked and it was confirmed.

I not irritated at myself for asking, though it is important to me that my other child and family/friends get the surprise! Of course I told my husband.. and so far he slipped up talking to two friends.. so he is banned from talking to family .
We would have been happy with either sex.. it makes me sad when people have their opinions on what I should want, when really all I want for the baby is good health rather than it being a specific sex!!

Again, I have been able to focus more on names again.. so I have no regrets.

My heart goes out to those who have a really good reason to care what the sex is. I know a mum whose husband has a genetic condition that is only passed on to boys. I know they are desperately hoping for a girl.

ive got a 13 week scan at the RVI (fetal medical centre i think?!) tonight. going to ask and see what they say then ask at 20 week scan as well.

i found out with dd1 as really wanted a girl and was worried id be disapointed.

with dd2 we didnt find out, i really wanted a boy and thought she was one. wasnt disapointed at all and it was lovely ringing people up to tell them.

with this one were finding out, after 2 dds i really want a boy and want to be able to get used to the idea of 3 girls if thats the case (and ill be happy with that) don think well tell people though, then you still get the suprise for everyone else at the end

i found out with all three of mine because i secretly had a preference and didnt want to be disappointed if i got my mind set on that sex then it wasnt iyswim. obv it doesnt matter when you see them for the first time when they are born. i have never regretted it.

DS was a surprise but then found out sex of DC 2 so we could tell him to expect a baby brother or sister.

I'm not sure I would have pushed as hard if I had already known the sex - I loved having the surprise (and didn't have a preference about the sex with any of them).

i wanted to know and both times baby's legs were crossed! so just in case you psyche yourself up - they may not even tell you!

Our first two children were born before they would tell you the sex at the 20 week scan.We had a girl followed by a boy, so when I got pregnant with our third child it was fantastic to take advantage of the newer technology. We also had no preferences as we already had one of each and this baby was a complete surprise anyway!Once we knew we were having DS2 it felt great to be able to name him and talk to him, months before he was born. Plus friends gave us loads of hand me down baby boy clothes, as we had given ours away years before.

They wouldn't tell me with my first, not all hospitals/doctors disclose the sex. If they had offered to tell me I probably would have wanted to know. (girl)

With number two they were going to tell me but she wasn't in a very good position to confirm it but we went for a 4d scan and it was confirmed she was a girl at that.
The first time it was great fun telling people what we had but with the second it was great to be able to prepare.
You will be delighted no matter what you do! Don't tell people the name you pick though as you may change your mind when you see your baby!

Congrats on the pregnancy x

I knew someone who was told she was having a boy and only realised fifteen minutes after the birth that it was actually a girl as everyone had just assumed that the scan was correct! Just goes to show they could be wrong either way but it only happens once in a blue moon.

They wouldn't tell me with either of my children but for both I had convinced myself of the sex anyway. There are so many girls in my family, I just assumed I would have a dd first (I did). Then when dd was 2 I decided that I would like another child and it would be a boy (he was).

I could say that I just knew, but that would be a lie, I just assumed, worked out in the end but I would have been very shocked if I'd been wrong (not particularly dissapointed).

I would have loved to have known the sex, but being a skinflint wasn't prepared to fork out for the priviledge. Although for those whose hospitals don't reveal the sex, a good tip is to wait for when they measure the femur in the 20 wk scan, this always provides a good bumshot.

Was convinced that I saw boy bits with ds, and looking back at dd's 20 week scan pictures, there is a shot of her on her side with her legs drawn up, with definate 3 lineage (not that I noticed at the time lol).

I'd never find out in advance, unless there was any pressing medical reason to do so, but then I love surprises - I was never the sort of child who wanted to go hunting for hidden Christmas presents before it arrived - so it would be anathema to me to find out before the big day. In the event, the big day was the real surprise because DS arrived two months early without warning!

We found out both times (2 DSs) and didn't regret it for a second. it means you get two really special days, the day you find out the sex and the day the baby comes.
Finding out the second time meant I knew I could re-use DS1's things (although DS2 did get some new things just for him).
I think it's very rare for someone to regret finding out.

I really, really don't understand why people think it's not a surprise if you find out at the scan, or that the birth will be an anticlimax if you already know the sex. Giving birth is about a little bit more than finding out the sex.

I never wanted to find out in advance. I was terrified of how I would feel if they got it wrong. I think it would have made it harder to bond. Probably not the case, really.

First time around, the midwife offered to let us look for ourselves, which I found unexpectedly lovely (although I was so high on gas and air that it took me a while to work out - "it's a ....er ..... um ....GIRL!")

Second time around, the midwife announced DD2 was a girl before I had even seen her and I suddenly remembered how nice it had been looking for myself. I still feel mildly disappointed that the moment of discovery was taken away from us.

I can't possibly articulate why I wanted to wait until the birth - I just did!

Didn't find out with DS1, did find out with DS2 - purely for reasons of bedroom planning, chucking out clothes etc (we knew no. 2 would be the last).

Didn't make it any less special though!

Found at at 12 week scan with both DC. I'm a planner and needed to know the sex for nursery colours, clothing, names, etc. Actually, because I know what to look for (more than some sonographers, as dad is an OB), I could tell myself what the sex was, and told the sonographer.

I find it reassuring to know the sex, and it makes the pregnancy seem more "real". I admire those who can wait, but I don't think that knowing the sex before hand ruins the surprise of a baby.

I think it depends on if you're the sort of person who has to imagine everything exactly as its going to be. I've never been able to think of my babies as an 'it' so first time I always said he would be a boy and he was. That was fine until the next time I was pregnant. It was twins and I convinced myself that it was a boy and a girl as they even felt different inside my tummy. Then when two boys appeared, it took me ages to get over the shock because I had already imagined what the family would look like and suddenly it looked different. I felt like it did mar the first few days and I wished I'd been more prepared.

So....this time, with dc4 on the way, we decided to find out because my mind won't let me be neutral, my imagination needs to be able to picture it! And yes, its another boy, but I'm so glad I found out, because I had an initial few days of disappointment at the thought of never having a daughter, but now I'm over it and really can't wait to meet him. Feel like he has his own little personality and we've named him and everything. Last time I felt like there was a shadow over the birth because of the 'missing' girl - this time, I can jsut enjoy it!

Haven't told anyone else though, because I think it's nicer as a surprise for friends and family.

I think it depends on a) whether you secretly do have a preference, no matter how tiny and b) how vivid your imagination is - do you need to picture it as a boy or girl to complete your family picture, or can you distance yourself from it and just think of it as 'the baby'?