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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Are people lying when they say they got pregnant after relaxing?

111 replies

JillyGake · 27/02/2020 07:53

I’ve heard so many stories from people saying that they stop trying and get pregnant. So just relax.

So many people say they have had tests, are temping, IVF etc. Then when nothing works they give up trying and that’s when they get pregnant. But...surely they still KNOW when they’re about to ovulate and then have sex? They can’t just remove that information from their brain. To stop trying they’d need to not have sex around ovulation. I don’t get it.

I’m desperate to have number 2 and I’m wondering if I stop temping if maybe that’d work. But I’d be stressed wondering if I ovulated or not

OP posts:

Nan0second · 29/02/2020 21:22

I spent a whole 18months relaxed when I started TTC.
Plenty of fun sex, no lifestyle changes, no other health problems and 3 holidays abroad.
It was only after 18months when we decided to just get the basics checked “in case” that we found crap sperm with low motility.
We then both felt a bit stressed but still no temping or timing etc etc and went slowly down the referral for ivf and icsi.
Had a miscarriage with the first cycle and a successful second pregnancy a further year later.
No further contraception, plenty of relaxed sex and coffee / alcohol. No other pregnancy.
Husband has 100% antisperm antibodies. There’s a less than 0.1% chance of pregnancy.
We’ve had years of infertility and the vast majority of that was relaxed shagging.
People who tell me to relax can fuck off to the far side of fuck. There are loads of women having babies in the refugee camps / war zones and my minor first world problems have nothing on them.

Original poster

JillyGake · 29/02/2020 21:28

@Nanosecond exactly! That’s how I feel. It really pisses me off. It’s like they’re saying I’m doing it wrong by temping, OPKs and timing. I should just forget all that and keep my fingers crossed that we do it at the right time and that I’m still ovulating.

OP posts:

Merrz · 29/02/2020 21:30

I hate saying it because remember how irritated I got by people saying it when I was ttc but it worked for me! I had been off contraception for 18 months officially ttc for 14 months ie opks, temping etc etc. My husband is a farmer and it was coming up to lambing season so we decided we would forget about it until after lambing then book ourselves in to see Dr. I think knowing we were going to take action and part of me not wanting to get pregnant that cycle (because of toxo. risk with pregnancy and lambing) made me relax. We were flat out with lambing, I had no idea what day of my cycle etc I was on, dtd twice the entire month and hey presto.

Original poster

JillyGake · 29/02/2020 21:31

@Loubell19 and @ClubfootMaestro thank you. That’s 2 people now that have said they conceived when they started neurotically charting. I should start another thread asking people who temped and OPK if they got pregnant.

OP posts:

Runningonempty84 · 29/02/2020 21:41

I got pregnant with DD when I stopped obsessive tracking. Went on holiday, tried to put it out of my head, got pissed, and that did the trick. It's a very annoying thing to say, yes - but it worked in my case.

Mumski45 · 29/02/2020 22:13

I had a failed ivf cycle but I had lots of frozen eggs. We were just at the stage of getting ready for a second try with a frozen egg but I got pregnant naturally before we got there. This happened twice and both times I had effectively stopped trying as we planned to use the frozen eggs.
So yes I do believe that if you stop focusing on it then things can happen. Depends on your reasons for infertility though- ours were unexplained.
Now have 2 amazing boys.

Sef89 · 20/12/2020 17:46

@wintercat
I think I gather from what you said here is that you lost a baby and must have been obviously stressed but it didn't stop your body from getting pregnant again.... I had a loss in may and keep worry that my mental state will stop it happening, but you've proven it doesn't x

DailyPotion · 20/12/2020 17:52

It definitely happened for us, but I don't think you can "fake" relaxing.

We genuinely gave up. Decided, after 9 years, it was never going to happen for us and that we needed to find something else to do with our lives. Spent the money saved for my maternity leave on a holiday of a lifetime to come to terms with it all and make plans.

Came back pregnant!

RenegadeMrs · 20/12/2020 17:59

Got pregnant twice through ivf which is not a relaxing process, so I think the 'relax' thing is just a stick to bear yourself with.

Grognonne · 20/12/2020 19:22

Over 5yrs ttc, lots of tracking, 3 miscarriages. First pregnancy was a result of lots of tracking, but was a blighted ovum. Then got pregnant a month after the miscarriage, but lost after 8 weeks (after seeing a heartbeat). Next one was also a result of tracking, but that was after the dye test, so think it allowed some inferior swimmers to get further than they should have as that also ended at 8 weeks. Another year of meticulous planning and then decided to have a break for a month or two, drank loads, ate what I wanted, only had sex twice that first month, and at the end of the month I was pregnant - and fingers crossed this one is sticking so far!

ScrapThatThen · 20/12/2020 19:26

Fewer women get pregnant during stressful events and births are later so I guess there are biological mechanisms by which bodies react to stress generally.

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